


Road to Recovery

by dustedoffanoldie



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Car Accidents, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, The Fiddler, Underage Sex, daddy brian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:25:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 82,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5094014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustedoffanoldie/pseuds/dustedoffanoldie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an accident that nearly kills him, Brian has a long road to recovery. While he knew deep down that it would be a rough road, he wasn't prepared for something like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Annie_Eliza](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie_Eliza/gifts).



Road to Recovery: Chapter One

 

“Well, Mr. Kinney, it looks you’re finally being allowed home. How are you feeling?”

 

“Like I've been hit by a truck,” he responded with a smirk.

 

The nurse looked up from her clipboard and laughed. “It was a car, wasn't it? Next week, you’ll be telling your friends it was a train.”

 

Brian smiled. He liked Nurse Adams. He might even go as far as saying he’d miss seeing her smiling face every morning – no, wait, who was he kidding, he didn't like her _that_ much.

 

This past month had been the longest four weeks of his life and he really couldn't wait to get home. He’d been so keen to get out of there that he’d woken up at the crack of dawn, only to be told he wouldn't be discharged until 'sometime after lunch'. This was a good thing as it had taken him over thirty minutes to get dressed into his normal everyday clothes and he still had to practice walking on his crutches to pass the nurse’s test before they’d allow him home.

 

He’d be back of course; you don’t dislocate your left shoulder, break your right femur in two places, tear your right ACL and suffer a concussion and get away scott free. Oh no, he’d be seeing plenty of Allegheny General Hospital over the next couple of months whether he liked it or not. The doctors had explained to him that his body would need months of intense physical therapy to heal properly. It looks like he’d be avoiding Babylon for a little while longer, which, if he was being honest with himself, was perfectly fine with him. He’d not missed the place as much as he thought he would.

 

“Brian, here are your discharge papers, your medication and your physical therapy schedule for the next six weeks. I've written down your PT’s name on the back, and if you have any questions you can give him a call. Your first session is on Thursday, and I've already warned him you’re one of our most stubborn patients,” teased Nurse Adams.

 

“Me? I don’t know what gives you that idea?” he smirked.

 

“I know your type, Mr. Kinney. You’re the type who think you have it all figured out and that you’ll be as good as new in a couple of weeks. Well, let me tell you that you have a long road ahead of you, Brian. This won't be an easy next couple of months for you.”

 

“Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine,” muttered Brian, as he took the papers and shoved them in his backpack.

 

Nurse Adams gave him a warm smile, “I didn't mean to sound so negative. I just want you to be realistic when it comes to your recovery.”

 

He sighed deeply as he looked out of the window overlooking the parking lot. He knew the next few months were going to be difficult, he wasn't stupid. And to make matters worse, he’d have Deb on his back, being her overprotective, hovering self.

 

_Maybe I should just stay here. It would be a hell of a lot easier._

 

“You’ll be fine, Brian.” Her words pulled him back to her and she smiled kindly at him. “Who is picking you up?”

 

“Michael and Ben.”

 

“Not that handsome man of yours? I haven’t seen him for a while. How’s he doing?”

 

“Oh, yeah – he’s just been really busy with work,” he lied. Truth was, he had no idea what the hell was going on. They’d been together six months. Everything had been great. He’d even asked him to move into the loft with him just before the accident. But ever since he’d been in hospital, he’d hardly visited.

 

“Well, send him my love. I’ll go downstairs and grab the wheelchair, so it’s ready for you.”

 

“I don’t need a wheelchair,” scoffed Brian. “Didn't you see how well I was walking?” he said, pointing to the crutches.

 

 

“Trust me; you’re going to want to burn them before the day is out,” she said with a laugh. “Take all the help you can, it’ll make the road to recovery a hell of a lot easier.”

 

 

“Fine, fine, you win.” He said with a cheeky wink.

 

***

 

“Here, I've got you,” Michael said, as he rushed around to the car door to help out his friend.

 

“Mikey, I'm fine.”

 

“I know – sorry,” his friend apologised as he stepped back.

 

“Take this for me,” Brian said, as he handed his best friend his backpack. He hadn't meant to snap at Michael, he knew he meant well. But he could only stand one person hovering over him at a time (barely), and he knew Deb would be over shortly to fill his freezer with copious amounts of highly saturated food.

 

Michael smiled as he took the bag and they made their way into the building, Ben followed closely behind with the rest of his things.

 

They rode the elevator up in silence.

 

_God, it felt good to be home._

 

Michael unlocked the door and stood back, letting Brian go in first. He hobbled over to the breakfast bar; the thought of walking any further exhausted him.

 

_Nurse Adams had been right; he already wanted to throw the damn crutches away._

 

The place looked the same, but what was he expecting? He’d only been gone a month.

 

As he looked around, he noticed things. Things that other people may not see – but _he_ saw. Things were missing. _His_ favourite coffee mug wasn't next to the coffee machine, _his_ ridiculously ugly coat wasn't hung up, both of those things could have been explained… but the missing lighting box where he spent most evenings drawing was also gone.

 

“Have you spoken to him?” Michael asked, sensing the change in his friend’s mood.

 

“No.” Was all Brian could say. “

 

 

“I’ll, uh… take your bags up to your room.” Ben said, sensing Michael wanted some time alone with Brian.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Of course. Why wouldn't I be?”

 

“Brian!”

 

“I told you Mikey, I'm fine. I'm fabulous. Now leave it.”

 

Michael knew not to push it, so once he and Ben had ensured that Brian had everything he needed, they left.

 

 

 _Finally_ he was alone. He enjoyed his own company… or at least, he used to. But he’d spent the last month being constantly surrounded by people and now – now his loft felt eerily quiet.

 

 

Picking up his crutches, he made his way over to the chaise lounger and sat down as best he could. This seat held some good memories for him – for them, but right now it was nothing more than a super comfortable and convenient chair to sit down on and rest his leg.

 

 

He debated whether or not he should call him. He was pissed. He was hurt. Hell, he was fucking confused. As far as he was concerned they were good, _really_ good. He’d been into see him a couple of times in hospital and he’d told him how he was swamped with work – that he had deadlines to meet and he’d accepted that. How could he have been so fucking stupid to think that this could possibly work out? He’s Brian Kinney for fuck sake. Brian Kinney doesn't do boyfriends… or at least, he didn't.

 

 

“Fuck it,” he mumbled, as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and hit speed dial.

 

 

“Hey! Leave a message.”

 

_Fuck!_

 

“Adam, it’s me… I'm home… but… you’re not… What’s...what's going on?”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ACL = Anterior Cruciate Ligament (common but painful knee injury)

Debbie Novotny meant well, she really did. Brian knew this. Still, any thirty four year old man’s patience would wear slightly thin if forced to contend with his overbearing, Italian pseudo mother. All Brian longed for was for life to go back to some sort of normality – and he and Debbie most definitely did not see eye to eye on what was considered normal. 

 

So, when Thursday rolled around and it was time for his first physical therapy session, Brian was all too happy to leave the loft and get an afternoon’s reprieve. Michael was dropping him off at the hospital only three days after he was discharged – and suddenly he wasn't sure whether he was ready for this or not.

 

_You can do this, Kinney!_

 

He said goodbye to Michael, and hobbled through the door of the Orthopaedics and Physical Therapy department and ambled over to the front desk to check in. 

 

With nobody at the desk, he yelled out, “Hello?”

 

No reply.

 

He tried twice more and was about ready to give up, when a petite blonde with large blue eyes and pursed lips finally walked out from the office behind the desk. She was reading through a file folder and without looking up and a quick snap of her gum she said, “OK! OK! Geez, I heard you the first time.”

 

_Well, clearly you didn't._

 

She stopped short when she looked up and saw Brian. Her mildly annoyed look immediately transformed into a flirtatious smile.

 

_Oh God._

 

“Well, hi there, handsome.” She set the folder down and leaned across the desk, shrugging her shoulders together in an obvious effort to maximise her already ample cleavage. “What can I do for you?” 

 

He inwardly shuddered. He had no idea why so many gay men were fascinated with boobs. They just hung there like big ol’ sacks of potatoes.

 

“I'm here for my first session. I'm Brian Kinney.”

 

“Hi, Brian. My name’s Kathy and I manage the reception desk here in the Orthopaedic and PT department...”

 

_Hardly._

 

“And I will be happy to assist you in whatever you need,” she practically purred that last part before sticking out her hand with her fingers dropping down, as if expecting him to kiss it. He took it awkwardly and shook it.

 

_Jesus Christ, she wants me to fuck her so bad._

 

“So… do I need to sign anything, or am I good to go?”

 

 

“Oh yes, silly me.” Without taking her eyes off of him, she reached for a clipboard to her right and slid it over to him. Brian found her wide-eyed staring equally disturbing as he did hilarious. What was it about straight women wanting to jump his bones? 

 

Kathy popped her gum once again. “Do you know who you’re seeing today, gorgeous?”

 

Brian took the clipboard from her and signed himself in as well as filling out all of his insurance information. “Let me look,” he said, as he pulled out the stack of papers Nurse Adams had given him. “J. Taylor?”

 

Kathy rolled her eyes and said sarcastically, “oh, he’s a real treat.”

 

 

_He?? Please let him be hot, please let him be hot._

 

Brian couldn't help but smile, the idea of a hot guy manipulating and working on his body for the next God knows how many months really appealed to him.

 

Of course, as soon as he smiled, he immediately wished he hadn't. Kathy had taken this as a positive sign and ran around the desk. “You know, I'm studying to become a physical therapist myself. Maybe I could practice on you occasionally.” She was standing a little too close for comfort. He hadn't quite mastered backing up with the crutches so was more or less cornered as she leaned in. 

 

“MISS CLARKSON!!!”

 

 

He’d recognise that voice anywhere. Thank goodness for Nurse Adams and her perfect timing.

 

Kathy rolled her eyes and turned. “I was just helping Brian out here.”

 

“That’s Mr. Kinney to you. And last time I checked, helping out a patient means ensuring their file is ready and pointing them in the right direction to their appointment, not fawning all over them.”

 

Nurse Adams stared Kathy down until she’d scurried off back behind her desk and was rummaging through the patient files on her desk before finding his.

 

“Here’s _Mr. Kinney’s_ file,” she said, as she waved the folder around.”

 

“I’ll take that,” muttered Nurse Adams. “If you’d like to follow me, Brian, I think he’s ready to see you now.”

 

He followed her down the hall and could hear Kathy behind him saying, “See you next time, darling.”

 

Nurse Adams rolled her eyes. “Silly girl, she only got the job because she’s the niece of the chief of orthopaedic surgery. She means well, but she likes to try my patience a little too often, if you know what I mean.” He nodded.

 

A minute more of walking and one turn later, Nurse Adams stopped and turned. “Here we are.” 

 

She took a few steps away, but looked back when she didn't hear him move.

 

“Well, are you going to knock on the door then? He won’t bite.” And with that, she knocked on the door before opening it and then made herself scarce.

 

_Fuck. I hope he does._

 

“Hi, I’m Justin Taylor,” the blonde said as he introduced himself to his patient while fussing with the sheet covering the exam table. “Take a seat.”

 

As Justin was gathering together all of his paperwork he dropped his pen. Bending down to retrieve it, he crouched down and could now see Brian's leg brace below his shorts and a long thin scar, still fresh on his knee. He stood slowly. 

 

_God, he was young. Young, beautiful and blonde– he didn’t usually go for blondes._

 

Brian took a seat on the exam table, which he did with minimal effort.

 

 

“Right…So I’m going to be helping you with your physical therapy for the next nine months.”

 

“Nine months???”

 

 

Justin smiled. “Nurse Adams told me this would be your reaction. But yes, usually for an ACL tear, getting back to full strength and mobility can be as fast as six months, but with the pins in your femur, we won’t be able to put full weight on it right away, which will delay things with your knee. For the first month, you’ll be coming in to work with me three afternoons a week, with a visit with your doctor once a week to make sure you are progressing well. Do you have any questions?”

 

He had questions, plenty of them. But none of them were related to his rehabilitation.

 

“No, I’m good.”

 

“Alright, well all I will be doing today is a diagnostic examination on your knee and shoulder to check your swelling, strength and range of motion. I’ll then send my notes to your orthopaedic doctor and on Monday we can discuss what we have planned for you for the next couple of months. Sound ok?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“We’ll start with your shoulder. How long has it been out of the sling?” Justin asked, as he gently pulled Brian’s t-shirt away from his shoulder, causing Brian to hiss quietly.

 

_Fuck his hands are soft. Breathe, he’s just touching your shoulder._

 

“Sorry, are my hands cold?” he asked, as he pulled his hands away and rubbed them together to heat them up before bringing them back to examine him .”

 

“Urm, about a week.”

 

“And have you felt any pain?”

 

“Not really. Not much anyway.”

 

“Ok. Now, raise your arm out straight in front of you, with the palm of your hand facing down.”

 

He did. Wincing a bit.

 

“If you feel any pain now, let me know, and rate it on a scale from one to ten, with one being very slight pain and ten being extreme.”

 

“Three I suppose… maybe four.”

 

He made a note. “Now move your arm to the side, like this,” he demonstrated.

 

“Three.”

 

“Now turn your palm to face forward, bend the arm at the elbow and rotate it forward.”

 

“Urgh, fuck it… five.”

 

“Sorry about that,” apologised Justin. “So now, set your arm down and try to roll your shoulder.”

 

 

Brian tried, but he found he couldn’t move it much. “It doesn’t hurt that much, it just doesn’t seem to want to move.” He tried again, but the same thing happened. 

 

“Alright, arm out in front again.” Then he put down the clipboard he was holding and took Brian’s extended hand, putting it on his shoulder. He immediately took it away, as if touching him had burned him.

 

He had no fucking idea why he’d done that. But it was like as soon as their bodies touched he felt something. He knew he’d have to touch him again over the next couple of months; there was no getting around it.

 

“Sorry.”

 

 

_Sorry? He didn’t do sorry… he didn’t do blondes either. Today was a day of firsts._

 

“It's okay, do you… do you feel uncomfortable with me treating you?” He asked nervously. ”Would you rather I signed you over to one of our female therapists?” 

 

Brian laughed, he couldn’t help it.

 

“Jesus Christ, no. That is the furthest thing from what I would like.“

 

Justin laughed along with him. “Ok.”

 

_These next nine months are going to be torture, but the sweetest, sweetest kind._

 

 

Justin once again took his hand and placed it on his shoulder, stopping briefly to make sure Brian was okay with what he was doing.

 

Getting a nod from Brian, he continued. “Now press down on my shoulder as hard as you can.”

 

He could barely manage to push it down at all. “I guess there’s room for improvement there,” he said with a laugh.

 

Justin smiled again, took his hand from his shoulder and held it for a fraction of a second longer than was professionally appropriate.

 

Brian had wanted to kiss him right then.

 

_Fuck_

 

“Right, now let’s take a look at your knee. Can you lay down for me?”

 

Swinging around as best he could, he lay down on the examination table.

 

“I'm not going to do much to it today, I just want to see how your scar is healing and go over with you what sort of exercises we’ll be doing. I'm just going to remove your brace for a second and place my hand gently on the top of your foot – can you push up at all for me?”

 

“Argh! No. Shit that hurts”

 

 

“Sorry,” Justin said sheepishly. “That is completely normal with this sort of injury though. Over the next couple of months, we’ll be working on leg strengthening exercises, high level balance retraining as well as normalising your level of joint motion. We’ll also need to strengthen your lower limbs, such as your calves, hip and pelvis muscles.”

 

_I can think of plenty of fun ways we can work on my pelvis muscles._

 

“Okay…”

 

Justin re-fastened the brace on his leg, pulled a stool over with his foot, and sat down. “I know that was a lot of information to take in – and it’s daunting thinking about how much work we have to do, but we’ll make this fun, I promise.” he smiled, as he busied himself with the notes in front of him.

 

 

_Sunshine – he has a smile like fucking sunshine._

 

Brian shook his head, as though that would help rid him of the lesbianic thoughts he had just had. He laughed inwardly at how stupid that was.

 

“You can sit back up,” Justin said. “We’ll meet again on Monday at one. Is that time good for you?”

 

Brian thought about it for a moment, he was hoping to go back to work on Monday, but this wasn't something he could avoid doing, so he’d have to just make time.

 

“One sounds good.”

 

 

Suddenly, Kathy barged into the examination room without knocking. “Justin?” she said, as her eyes focused solely on Brian. “Ethan called – he said he’ll pick you up after work.”

 

She could barely get his name out without her nose turning up in disgust.

 

“Uh, thanks…” Justin replied uncomfortably. “And Kathy, can I see you outside for a moment please?” He asked, as he walked her out of the room. “If you’ll excuse me, Brian, I’ll just be a moment.” And with that the door closed.

 

The door was relatively thin and Brian could hear everything Justin was saying – either that, or Justin was talking particularly loudly.

 

 

“I've told you about this before, Kathy. You do _not_ just walk into my room while I'm with a patient. What if he wasn't decent?” He asked.

 

Kathy laughed, “I'm sure you’d have liked that, wouldn't you?”

 

_I was right. I'm always right. He’s queer. He’s too beautiful not to be._

 

“Kathy…” he warned.

 

“What? Oh come on, he’s gorgeous. Far better looking than that boyfriend of yours.”

 

“Kathy, stop it. I’ll speak to you more about this later, but right now I have to get back to my patient. If you could page Nurse Adams and have her meet me here before I leave, that would be great.”

 

“Nurse Adams? You’re not reporting me are you?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly.

 

“I think we need to go back over the rules of what is and what isn't acceptable. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

 

And he was back – the door opened and Justin walked back into the room. His face slightly red from irritation.

 

“I'm really sorry about that,” Justin apologised, “She’s just…”

 

 

Brian smiled; he could see how frustrated Justin was with the situation.

 

“Don’t worry about it. I met her before my appointment, she’s…”

 

“One of a kind…”

 

Brian laughed, “That’s putting it kindly.”

 

They were silent for a minute, both looking at each other – neither knowing what to say next.

 

“Do you ever go to Woody’s?” Brian asked, unsure as to what made him ask the question.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Woody’s? You don’t know Woody’s?”

 

_Is he kidding? Everyone knows Woody’s._

 

“I only recently moved back to Pittsburgh,” Justin explained.

 

“It’s a bar on Liberty Avenue.”

 

“Oh! My boyfriend isn't really the… bar type.”

 

“I see. I was just going to say I'm there most evenings…”

 

 

_What the fuck was he saying?_

 

There was another quick knock at the door.

 

“Hey babe, it’s me,” and the door opened. “Oh shit, sorry. I thought you were done,” Ethan apologised as he quickly averted his eyes. “I thought you finished at two today.”

 

Brian looked down at his watch and saw it was already two fifteen.

 

_Shit_

 

Brian reached for his crutches and pulled himself up.

 

“I’ll see you on Monday,” he said as he hobbled towards the door.

 

Justin quickly followed, “Yeah…One O’clock?”

 

“Yep, later.”

 

“Later.”

 

As soon as he was out of the room, Ethan was inside; his lips crushed themselves against Justin’s possessively. 

 

Brian bit his lip as he hobbled back into the hallway. Just what he needed to see when Adam was still MIA. It made him feel a twinge that was foreign and unjustified.

 

But something good came out of seeing the exchange. It kept him from fucking up and opening his big fat mouth. Justin would have said no anyway and that was never something he liked to hear. Besides, Adam might come back. And if he didn't, it that just showed that a relationship wasn't in the cards for him anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, huge thank you to Annie_Eliza for being such a fantastic beta (ARE YOU READING HER STORY, INTERSECT??? IF NOT, GO NOW... WELL, AFTER YOU HAVE READ THIS) - and for helping me out with that last paragraph that just wouldn't come out the way I wanted it to. Good job she is my brain twin and knows what I am trying to say :)
> 
> Lots more to come, so please leave a review and let me know what you think.
> 
> XxX


	3. Chapter Three

“Are you sure you’re ready to go out?” Michael asked, as he hovered nervously around Brian.

 

“Will you stop fucking following me around while I get ready?”

 

“Sorry – but…”

 

“No fucking buts – at least not tonight.” He replied, laughing at his own joke. “I just need to get out, have a.. drink.”

 

“Are you even meant to be drinking with the medication you’re taking?”

 

“I swear to God, Mikey…”

 

Michael threw his hands in the air, “Okay – I’ll stop.”

 

“Thank you – now hand me my leather jacket and let’s get the fuck out of here.”

 

***

“So, where are we going?” Daphne asked, as she climbed into the passenger seat of Justin’s car, leaning over and giving him a quick kiss hello.

 

Justin laughed, “I love how you get in anyway when you have no idea where we’re going.”

 

“I trust you...to take me somewhere fun that serves alcohol. Am I even remotely close?” She asked.

 

Justin nodded. “Yeah, we’re going to Woody’s – it’s a bar on Liberty Avenue. One of my patients recommended it.”

 

“Ooh nice.”

 

It was still early, and they were lucky enough to find a space just one block away from the bar. Once they pulled over, Justin pulled the visor down and began fixing his hair.

 

“Would you quit it already? You look fine,” Daphne laughed, as she finished applying her lip-gloss and smacked her lips together.

 

***

 

Later that night, Brian sat propped up on a bar stool nursing his third drink of the evening, listening to Emmett prattle on about… something or other. When they’d first arrived, he’d sent Michael off to the bar to order him a shot of beam, only for him to return with a bottle of Bud Light – that shit was too fucking light for him back in his college days, there was no way he was going to start drinking it now…that was then and this is now and three bottles later - it still tasted like shit, but maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to steer clear of the hard liquor while he was dosed up to his eyeballs on who the fuck knows what his doctor prescribed. Who knew prescription medicine could be so good?

 

By his fifth drink, he’d challenged Ben to a game of pool.

 

“Michael – this isn't a good idea,” Ben whispered, as he watched Brian struggle to stand up on his own.

 

“I know, but…”

 

After a couple of failed attempts, Brian finally got to his feet before he hopped over to the table. 

 

He’d not thought this through, even chalking his cue was taking far more effort than it should, but he wasn't going to quit now.

 

“You go first.”

 

Ben nodded and took the first shot, pocketing two balls.

 

“Not bad.”

Now it was his turn – he placed the cue on the table, aligning it as best he could with one arm. Unsure of any other way he was going to be able to do this; he just pushed the cue as hard as he could with his good arm, causing one of the balls to jump up off the table.

 

“Shit””

 

“We don’t have to do this if it’s too much for you, Brian.”

 

Before Ben had opened his big mouth, he had considered laughing and walking away, but something inside him snapped – probably his sanity - and he decided to keep playing, despite the sharp pain shooting down his leg and the dull ache radiating through his shoulder. 

 

Brian didn’t even acknowledge him as he lined up his next go and took his shot, pocketing another ball – but, leaning too heavily on his leg he buckled slightly, catching himself on the side of the table.

 

“AH FUCK!” 

 

Michael moved as though he was going to help him, but Ben pulled him back. “Brian, maybe you should-”

 

Brian holds up a hand and takes a few deep breaths, “I’m fine.”

 

Michael and Ben look at each other, concern written on both of their faces, but they’re both smart enough (this time) to keep their goddamn mouths shut. 

 

After a couple of seconds of breathing through the pain, Brian continued on with the game as though nothing had happened. He placed the cue on the table, picked up his crutches and made his way to the other side of the table. As he reached forward for the cue he felt something pop in his shoulder. His eyes glazed over as the pain shot through him like a lightning bolt.

 

_Shit shit shit shit shit._

 

This time Ben didn't hold Michael back as he ran over to help out his best friend.

 

“Are you…?”

 

Brian had not moved from where he was hunched over the table. “No, I'm not.”

_He hated admitting that he needed help, but he knew that carrying on as though nothing was wrong would only do more harm than good._

 

Michael beckoned Ben over with his hand.

 

“Help me get him to a table.” He whispered, trying his best not to draw attention to what was going on.

 

Ben wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist and picked him up as gently as he could – walking him over to their table. Fortunately the night was still young and the bar wasn't particularly busy so people weren't paying them much attention. 

 

“Do we need to take you back to the hospital?” Michael asked nervously.

 

Brian shook his head. “No. I’ll be fine. I think I just overdid it.”

 

“Can I do anything?”

 

Brian stared at his friend before closing his eyes, what he really wanted to say was, “Yes; just leave me the fuck alone,” but, luckily for him, Ben sensed that Brian just wanted to be left alone for a little while and suggested they continue the game without him and for that he was grateful. 

***

“What do you want to drink?” Justin asked, as he threw his coat onto the empty stool next to him.

 

“Ohhh, get me a Sex on the Beach.”

 

“No,” Justin laughed, “I am not ordering that, pick something else.”

 

“Fine,” she sighed, “can you get me an Amaretto Sour…and some peanuts.”

 

While Justin waited in line at the bar to order his drinks, he overheard some people talking.

 

“Do you think he’ll be okay? He looked like he was in a lot of pain.”

 

“He said he was fine, Michael.”

 

“I know he _said_ he was fine, but you saw the look on his face. He wasn’t fine.”

 

“I know, Michael, but he’s okay. Let’s just give Brian a little space. He’s been in the hospital for a month, he’s trying to figure out what he can and can’t do and he definitely doesn't need us hovering over him.”

 

“I know, but…”

 

“Michael…just leave him alone for ten minutes.”

 

_Brian? It couldn't be…I mean, it would make sense…_

 

Justin looked around, spotting him fairly quickly. He ordered his drinks and took them back to his table.

 

“Daph, here’s your drink,” he said, as he slid the glass towards her. “Do you mind if I go and say hi to someone real quick?” he asked.

 

“Go for it, I'm fine over here,” she said as she pointed to the game of Words with Friends on her phone.

 

“Brian?” He asked, as he walked towards his table.

 

Brian looked up, his eyes not focussing properly on the blonde in front of him.

 

“Huh? Oh… hi…”

 

“Justin…”

 

“I remember your name,” Brian laughed, swaying slightly, “I just wasn't expecting to see you here.”

 

“Have you hurt yourself?” Justin asked, ignoring what Brian had just said.

 

“What?... no. I'm just sitting here, enjoying my shitty beer.”

 

He could tell he’s lying and that he’d hurt himself by the way he was sitting holding his arm.

 

“What happened to your shoulder?” Justin asked, as he stood back slightly to see if he could figure out what was wrong.

 

“Nothing, what happened to _your_ shoulder?”

 

“How much have you had to drink, Brian?”

 

“How much have _you_ had to drink?” Brian mimicked, wincing from the sudden movement.

 

“Okaaay. Listen, I'm going to need to check you out.”

 

This caused Brian to laugh. “I have no problem whatsoever with you checking me out, Sunshine.”

“Sunshine?” _Jesus, how much has he had to drink?_

 

“Who are you here with?”

 

Brian attempted to stand.

 

“Fucking shit!” he cursed, sitting back down heavily on the chair with the help of Justin. “My shoulder fucking hurts like a mother fucker.”

 

“Stay here, okay? I'm going to go talk to your friends. We need to get you home and look at your shoulder.”

 

Justin made his way over to Michael and Ben and explained who he was and that he thought it would be best they take Brian home – but only after he’d had a look to see if they needed to take him to the emergency room.

 

“Let’s get him to the car so you can take a look at him, I don’t think he’d appreciate you doing it here,” said Michael.

 

Justin agreed, and went to tell Daphne what was going on.

 

Daphne shot back her drink, gathered her things, and joined Justin outside.

 

“You can wait in the car, it's cold,” offered Justin, as he gave her the keys. “I should only be a minute.”

 

“Okay.” She smiled.

 

By that time, Ben and Michael had managed to get Brian outside and were propping him up against their car. 

 

He could tell just from looking at him that he’d dislocated his shoulder again. He was using his good arm to support his injured one.

 

“Alright, let me take a look at you,” Justin said. “I’m just going to feel your shoulder, okay? Tell me if it hurts.”

 

Justin lightly ran his fingers along his shoulder, feeling for anything that may be out of place.

 

“OW!” Fuck!”

 

“Sorry.”

 

He then curled his fingers around Brian’s wrist.

 

“What are you doing?” Brian asked as he tried to pull his hand back.

 

“I'm checking your pulse. Stay still… and be quiet.” He said that last part with a smile.

 

“You've definitely dislocated it again.”

 

“Do we need to take him to the ER,” asked Ben.

 

Brian groaned. “No, no we don’t need to take him to the ER. Can’t you pop it back in yourself?” He asked Justin desperately.

 

“It would hurt.”

 

“It fucking hurts anyway.”

 

“I really shouldn’t…”

 

Brian grabbed his shoulder with his good hand, “Argh! If you don’t, I will...”

 

Justin moved his hand away from his injured shoulder. “Don’t touch it,” he said as he ran his hands over his face and nodded. “Okay, can you guys get him into the car for me, and take him home. I’ll follow behind.”

 

He made his way to his car, hoping Daphne wouldn’t mind coming with him. He would drop her off, but he was actually rather pleased that she was there – it made the whole situation feel less… unprofessional. 

****

Between both Michael and Ben they managed to get an agitated Brian back to the loft with little trouble.

 

“He needs to lie down,” explained Justin as he took off his coat and threw it onto the empty kitchen counter as he walked in. “

 

“Couch or bed”? Asked Ben as he shrugged off Michael’s help to assist any further – he wasn’t helping much anyway.  
“Bed,” muttered Brian. 

 

Justin looked around the apartment – the coach was definitely too low for what he needed to do and the bed didn’t look much better. The wooden platform around the edge would make it difficult for him to manipulate Brian’s shoulder back into the correct position.

 

“Neither – Daph, grab a pillow from the bed for me,” he asked, giving his best friend something to do so she wasn’t just standing there. “We’re going to have to lay him down on the kitchen table.”

 

“What?” Brian and Michael responded in unison.

 

Ben just nodded as he wrapped his arm securely around Brian’s waist and led him towards the table.

 

Daphne returned with a couple of pillows and waited for Justin to instruct her with what to do next.

 

“I'm going to need you to sit down here for me, Brian. Then Ben’s going to help swing your legs up. Does that sound okay?” Justin asked, as he patted the table.

 

Brian just nodded and did as he was told – Justin could tell that if he wasn't in as much pain as he was, he’d not have been nearly so amenable.

 

“I'm going to need to take your shirt off for this. Ben, can you give me a hand?”

 

Ben went straight to work on Brian’s shirt buttons before slipping his shirt carefully over his injured shoulder.

 

“Careful with his leg,” Justin warned, as he helped lay Brian down on the table, adjusting his body so that his injured arm and shoulder were hanging over the edge of the table, while the rest of his body was supported.

 

One of the benefits of being friends with someone for a long time was that you knew what the other person was thinking without actually having to say it out loud– and that’s what Daphne did when she looked at Justin.

 

“Justin, if you don’t need our help any more, maybe we should wait outside?” she suggested.

 

“Thanks, Daph,” he smiled. This wasn't going to be easy for Brian – manipulating his shoulder back into place was going to hurt… a lot, and he didn't much care for an audience while doing it. Something he thought Brian would probably agree on.

 

“I’ll stay,” said Michael as he stood rooted to the spot as the others had begun to file out.

 

Brian hissed out in pain as he turned to look at his best friend. “Michael, just wait outside with everyone else.”

 

“Brian,” he whined.

 

“Michael, please,” he was in no mood to argue.

 

“We’ll be right outside, and I promise you he’s in good hands with Justin,” Daphne reassured him as she walked over and took his arm and led him out the door.

 

When it was just the two of them Justin smiled down at Brian. “Last chance, you sure you don’t wanna go to the ER?”

 

Brian shook his head, the pain and alcohol making him dizzy.

 

“Alright. Do you want anything to bite down on?”

 

“If I wasn't…” he hissed, “in so much… fucking…pain…I’d…have a good…answer for that.”

 

Justin laughed. “I'm sure you would. But seriously, it might help.”

 

“No, just do it.”

 

“Okay. I want you to take deep breaths for me,” instructed Justin as he bent down to remove his shoes. Brian looked at him questioningly. “You’ll see,” he smiled as he held Brian’s hand and laced their fingers together and placed his socked foot on the side of Brian’s torso to provide added leverage as he pulled the shoulder back into place. “Here we go.”

 

Brian moaned out in pain as Justin began pulling on his arm, using a slow and steady pull.

 

“Shit!”

 

Brian threw his good arm over his face and covered his eyes.

 

“Move your arm.”

 

“I can’t, you’re fucking pulling on it,” Brian breathed out.

 

“Not that one,” smiled Justin. “I need to see your face when I’m doing this.”

 

Reluctantly, Brian removed his arm and Justin could see the tears in his eyes.

 

“Sorry,” Justin apologised as he continued providing constant tension on the arm, stretching the shoulder muscles. “We’re nearly done.” 

 

“Fuckkkkkkkkkkk!”

 

In the end it took a couple of minutes, but eventually they both heard a loud pop and Brian’s shoulder slipped back into place.

 

The relief was instant and Brian felt like he could finally breathe properly again.

 

“You okay?” Justin asked, as he supported Brian’s arm as he helped him sit up.

 

“Yeah, I…” As Brian sat up, he was hit by a sudden rush of dizziness. “Shit.”

 

“We’re going to need to ice it and put it back into a sling.”

 

“Can we come back in yet?” Michael called out, who by the sounds of it had had his ear pressed up against the door waiting for them to finish.

 

“Yes, Mikey… you can come back in.”

 

As soon as they came back into the loft, Michael was all over Brian.

 

“Is he alright? He looks a bit pale… I thought you were supposed to fix his shoulder and make him feel better?”

 

Before Justin could reply, Ben stepped in and peeled his boyfriend’s hands off of his best friend.

 

“Michael, take it easy.”

 

“I'm just saying, he doesn't look that great.”

 

“Mikey, I'm fine. In fact, you guys can go.”

 

“Brian…”

 

“Honestly, Mikey. I’m fine. I’ll probably just go to bed soon anyway.”

 

“If you’re sure,” asked Ben, already herding Michael out of the door.

 

Daphne ran out after them. “Could you guys give me a lift home?”

 

“What about Justin? How come he gets to stay?” Michael could be heard saying as he was piled into the elevator by Ben.  
When the two of them were once again alone, Brian spoke up.

 

“You didn't have to stay. I can manage by myself.”

 

“I know you can, but we still need to ice your shoulder and strap it up.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“Do you have any ice packs?” Justin asked, as he walked towards Brian’s freezer and pulled it open - smiling at the large array of Tupperware containers full of frozen food. “Ah, it’s okay. I found one… under the pile of lasagne and gnocchi.”

 

Brian laughed. “Michael’s mom…she likes feeding me. I'm apparently too skinny.”

 

Justin’s eyes subconsciously roamed Brian’s body. “I think you look fine…” He cleared his throat quickly before Brian could respond, wrapping the ice pack in a dish cloth before placing it on his shoulder.

 

“You’re lucky. You have good friends.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Your friends, they seem really nice.”

 

“They are – but…”

 

“But what?” Justin asked, as he moved the ice pack slightly – needing to do something with his hands before they formed a mind of their own.

 

“They won’t leave me alone. Especially since I got home from the hospital… How am I supposed to know what I can or can’t do if they won’t let me try?”

 

“I understand…”

 

“Do you though?” Brian asked bitterly. “I know you see this shit day after day, but do you know what it’s like to have people not want to leave you the fuck alone in case you fall over while taking a shower? Or insisting on standing guard while you get dressed? Or-”

 

“I do actually. Listen,” Justin said as he jumped up onto the table next to Brian. “I know how hard it is when you’re injured and you’re told to take things easy. You want to race ahead and get back to the way things were before – but that takes time. It took me over a year to recover… and luckily for you, it shouldn’t take that long. Just… be patient and know it's okay to ask for help.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“It gets better. I promise.”

 

Brian wasn’t sure why he couldn’t stop himself from talking and saying the things he was saying. It must be a side effect of mixing his medication and alcohol… “I bet… I bet it helps having your boyfriend around though?”

 

Justin smiled briefly before looking away. “I guess…But… I got to where I am mostly on my own. I had… I had a really hard time accepting help… from anyone. “

 

He jumps off the table, removing the ice pack and carefully fits places Brian’s arm into the sling.

 

“And…he wasn’t around when it happened anyway. Even now, I have bad days and it’s something he’s tried really hard to understand, but he can’t. And that’s probably my fault. I should have let him help me like he wanted to when we first got together – but I was too fucking proud.”

 

Brian remained silent and Justin reached over and placed his hand on Brian’s.

 

“Just...take it easy, alright? Let people help you. I wish I had.”

Clearing his throat, Justin quickly pulled his hand away. What the fuck was he doing? He seemed intent on breaking every rule in the book tonight. “I should… I should probably get going. I’ll see you tomorrow at your appointment?”

 

Brian nodded and watched as Justin grabbed his coat and exited the loft hastily. 

***

Brian lay in bed, unable to sleep. His arm ached – in fact, his entire body ached but he wasn’t due his pain medicine for at least another hour.

 

He laughed to himself as he reached across to the bottle of beam he kept by his bed and took a gulp – for some reason, in his fucked up mind, drinking while on pain medication was somewhat acceptable, but taking more than the recommended dose was not.

 

“Fuck it,” he said, as he reached for his phone and hit speed dial. He’d not wanted to do this, he still didn't want to do this – he shouldn't _have_ to do this, but he couldn't get Justin’s words out of his head. _Let people help you._

 

“Hey! Leave a message.”

 

Brian waits for the answer he knows isn't going to come because he’s talking to his boyfriend’s fucking voice mail and not to the actual man himself. Doesn't he deserve that though? An answer? A fucking explanation as to why he’s laying in bed by himself. Had he done something to piss him off? He thought they were good – no, they were good before… before the accident. Was that why? Was he really that disgusting to be around now? 

 

“Listen, I just...I just want to know what the hell is going on. You owe me that. I'm out of the hospital. I'm home now. _Our_ home. But you’re not. You...you knew I was coming home. Deb… Deb said she told you. Yet you’re not here.”

 

He closed his eyes tightly to stop the room from spinning. The drink seemed to be going to his head faster than normal tonight. Making him feel – when all he wanted to do was _not_ feel anything at all. To drown his sorrows and forget.

 

“So instead of having my fucking partner here for me, I'm by myself drinking a bottle of Beam like I did before I met you. Things weren't that great then and they sure as hell aren't great now. I...I need you here. I need help. There. I said it, alright? So just come over or at least call me back.”

 

With a sigh, Brian hangs up the phone and tries to get in a comfortable position to rest, just for a little bit. When he gets to as close as comfortable as he can get, he ignores the lump in his throat, lets his eyes close, and tries to ignore the pain in his shoulder and in his chest by thinking of blonde hair and blue eyes instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, huge thanks to Annie_Eliza for being such a fantastic beta. You always know what I am trying to say - so thank you!
> 
> Also, I know what Justin did is totally unethical, but let's just ignore that, okay? ;)
> 
> Let me know what you think xxx


	4. Chapter Four

The sound of the alarm clock blaring from his bedside table woke Justin with a start. Groaning, he curled in on himself, burrowing himself into the sheets. Maybe doing that and throwing a pillow over his head, he’ll be able to block out the increasingly irritating noise and will magically fall back asleep.

 

Unfortunately, that wasn't meant to be.

 

“Mmm, good morning, baby,” Ethan whispered into his ear sleepily as he wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist, bringing their bodies together with his chest pressed tightly against Justin’s back. “Did you have a good time last night with Daph? Sorry I couldn't wait up,” he punctuated his apology with a kiss to the back of Justin’s neck.

 

“Yeah, it was okay,” Justin replied sleepily. He wasn't a morning person and always needed a good thirty minutes before he was awake enough to participate fully in any sort of conversation – and in all their time together, this wasn't something Ethan seemed to pick up on.

 

“Where did you go?” Ethan asked, as his hand snaked down the front of Justin’s stomach and found its way into his pyjama pants.

 

“Woody’s… it’s a” _yawn_ “bar on Liberty Avenue.”

 

“Sounds fun,” replied Ethan, as he removed his hand from Justin and ducked under the covers – pulling his pyjama pants down enough to set his morning woody free.

 

“Ethan… I really have to get up.”

 

“I missed you last night, baby. Let me do this,” he begged, as his tongue lapped hungrily at the head of Justin’s cock.

 

“Mmm,” hummed Ethan. “I love how you taste in the mornings.”

 

“Ethan – please. I need… I need to get up.”

 

As soon as he said that, Ethan took him completely into his mouth swallowing him whole.

 

Justin’s body betrayed him as it arched up off the bed. He inhaled deeply, trying desperately to enjoy the sensations of having his dick sucked. But he couldn't – no matter how good it felt, his heart just wasn't in it this morning.

 

“Ethan,” Justin said, pushing at his boyfriend’s shoulders to get his attention. “I said stop.”

 

“What’s wrong? You usually love it when I blow you in the morning.” Ethan said, concern evident in his voice.

 

“I know – It’s just… I don’t feel well,” Justin lied. _What the fuck was going on with him this morning?_

 

”I know – It’s just… I don’t feel well,” Justin lied. _What the fuck was going on with him this morning?_ “I’m going to have a shower. Maybe that will make me feel better,” he hesitated, as he untangled himself from Ethan and made his way towards the bathroom.

****

Brian looked at the time on his phone and decided he couldn't delay it any longer, his appointment was in fifteen minutes and it with his gimp leg, it would take him a while to walk through the hospital now that his shoulder was fucked again and using the crutches were even more of a challenge.

 

He reached the Orthopaedics and Physiotherapy department with five minutes to spare.

 

“Well, would you look who it is? How you doin’, darlin’?” Kathy asked, the minute he walked through the doors. 

 

“Not bad, Kathy. Yourself?” He had to ask, he knew she was waiting for it.

 

“All the better for seeing you, sugar,” she replied in her thick southern drawl. 

 

“Good good,” Brian replied, moving away from the desk as fast as he could, hoping she’d take the hint and stop talking. He took a seat at the far end of the waiting room and began scrolling through some emails on his phone.

 

The sound of country music filled the air, as Kathy turned on the radio behind her desk and began to sing along, her southern accent getting stronger by the second as she belted out the lyrics to whatever God awful song she was listening to.

 

“Do you like country music,” Kathy asked loudly.

 

Brian smirked. “Do I look like I like country music?”

 

“I can’t get enough of this guy they’re playing now. He has the voice of an angel.”

 

Brian looked up from what he was doing when he realised she wasn't going to stop talking to him until he was called into his appointment.

 

“Who is it?” He didn't know why he asked her, he wouldn't know who they were anyway – and he really didn't care.

 

“Luke Bryan…Oh that man sets my heart all aflutter. Let’s just say he was born to wear tight jeans…”

 

_Now_ he was interested.

 

He looked him up on his phone and Kathy was right about one thing, that man knew how to wear a pair of jeans. He wasn’t Brian’s type, but he appreciated a hot man when he saw one. Just as he was scrolling through Google images he heard his name being called. 

 

He looked up from his phone and saw Justin standing there with an apprehensive smile on his face.

 

_God, he was cute – cute? What the fuck? Now that’s something he’s never thought about when looking at a guy. Hot, yes, but cute? No, never. But there was something about Justin. He was definitely hot, but there was this innocence about him that was cute. There was that fucking word again._

 

Brian pulled himself up out of the chair and slowly made his way towards Justin. He only managed a few steps before the blonde was at his side.

 

“Let me help you,” Justin said, as he took away the crutch Brian was using with his injured shoulder and supported some his weight. “I'm sure you’re still sore from last night. I saw you took it out of the sling.”

 

Brian could feel his cheeks flush as he remembered last night – well, some of it. He hoped he hadn't embarrassed himself too much.

 

”I'm sorry you had to see that,” Brian apologised – something he didn't do often, but he felt like he owed Justin one.

 

Justin just smiled and shook his head as he helped Brian sit down.

 

“Don’t worry about it – just don’t do it again,” he teased. 

 

“Was your boyfriend okay with you getting home so late?”

 

“Oh, yeah, he was totally fine. He’s usually in bed by eleven if he isn't working.”

 

_He sounds like a bundle of fun._

 

“What does he do?” 

 

He had no idea why he was asking, he didn't give a shit about what this guy did – yet he couldn't stop the questions from coming out.

 

“He’s a violinist.”

 

“Fun.” He didn't mean for it to sound as sarcastic as it did, but from the way Justin was laughing, he couldn't have been that insulted.

 

“Yeah… it’s not for everyone. He’s fantastic – but I’ve never told him that I don’t really like the sound of the violin,” Justin said as he took a seat.

 

Brian laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

 

“Right,” Justin said changing the subject. “Let’s take a look at you and see how broken you are after last night,” he teased. 

 

“I'm – I'm going to need for you to take your shirt off, so I can take a look.”

 

Brian could have sworn the kid looked embarrassed when he said that.

 

With one arm, Brian managed to pull his v-neck t-shirt off, grunting in pain only slightly.

 

“The swelling has gone down a little,” Justin said, as his fingers gently explored the injured area. “You’re going to need to keep icing it.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“And the sling needs to stay on for another week. I know it’s hard for you to get around with it strapped up, so you can take it off when you’re walking around. But it really needs to be supported as much as possible.”

 

Brian sighed; he hated wearing that damn thing.

 

“And try and wiggle your fingers – like this,” demonstrated Justin as he lightly moved the digits on Brian’s hand up and down. “It’ll help with the circulation. We’ll start physio on this in a week or two.”

 

_Fuck his hands are warm – and soft. Seriously, what the hell kind of lesbionic shit is going through his head today._

 

“I might also tape it before you go home today,” Justin said, more to himself. “Now let’s take a look at your knee. Is the brace still comfortable?”

 

Brian hesitated for a moment before answering. “Mostly.”

 

Justin raised his eyebrows. “Now tell me the truth,” he laughed.

 

“It’s a little sore.”

 

He hated admitting it, but Justin saw right through him.

 

“Let’s take a look. You’ll need to take your jeans off. Do you want a gown?”

 

“A gown? No fucking way.”

 

“You sure?” Justin asked.

 

Brian nodded his head. There was no way he was ever putting one of those fucking things on again. Not if he could help it anyway.

 

“I’ll lock the door,” Justin said, as he got up. “Make sure no one walks in.”

 

_Yeah, like your boyfriend._ he thought bitterly, remembering what happened at the end of their last session.

 

Brian removed his jeans and waited for further instruction. Justin knelt down and released the brace from his knee.

 

_Fuck, he looks hot down on his knees like that. And the way he keeps looking up at me with those eyes. And yep – now I have a fucking boner._

 

“The swelling has gone down a lot, which is great. We’ll be able to start working on it today,” Justin smiled looking up. His cheeks flushed red when he saw how hard Brian was.

 

“Sorry,” apologised Brian. Who was he kidding, he wasn't sorry at all. He could feel Justin looking at him – and not just at his face. He knew that Justin liked what he saw; it was evident in his face. The way he licked his lips and stood quickly, bringing his clipboard to rest in front of him. 

 

Brian smirked and Justin cleared his throat quickly, doing his best to switch back into professional mode.

 

“Right, so urm, okay, you’re going to need to lie down on the bed, on your… on your stomach.”

 

_Yep, he was definitely cute. Wiggling behind that damn clipboard like I don’t know what he’s hiding._

 

“Sure.”

 

Brian reached down and with his eyes locked on Justin’s he unashamedly adjusted himself so that his cock lay flat against his stomach. 

 

Justin’s cheeks grew pinker by the minute, but he never broke eye contact.

 

“Like this?” Brian asked, as he stretched out on the bed. He could feel Justin’s eyes burning into his back.

 

“What? Oh yeah, just urm bring your legs down so that your thighs are supported but the lower part is hanging off the end.”

 

Brian shuffled down, muffling the slight groan he let out as best he could from putting too much weight on his shoulder.

 

“Be careful,” scolded Justin as he placed a rolled up towel above his knee cap, instantly back in physiotherapist mode.

 

“Ah, shit.”

 

Justin placed his hand on the base of Brian’s back. “You’re going to feel a slight pull as your leg straightens out.”

 

“A _slight_ pull?”

 

“Is the pain too much? We can stop?”

 

“No – it’s fine.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“It hurts, but it’s not unbearable.”

 

“We’ll do another thirty seconds then have a short rest, repeat for another minute and then we’re done with this one,” Justin promised, as he subconsciously ran soothing circles on Brian’s back.

 

Brian breathed through the pain and completed the exercise. It hurt enough that it almost made him soft – ha, almost, but not quite. Justin’s feather light touch on his back as he did it wasn't helping matters.

 

“You good to do a couple more before we finish for the day?”

 

“Yeah, sure.”

 

Justin was no longer hiding behind his clipboard, obviously having forgotten and put it down while helping with Brian with his exercises. Brian smiled to himself as his eyes drifted towards Justin’s crotch, appreciating the sight in front of him. He couldn't see much, as the scrubs Justin wore were pretty baggy, but he saw enough to know he approved.

 

The next exercise had Brian sitting on the floor with his legs stretched out in front of him, the rolled up towel placed beneath his heel.

 

“Now, flex your foot so that your toes are pointing towards the ceiling.”

 

Justin knelt down next to him and placed his hand on Brian’s leg, pushing down gently.

 

Brian hissed as he felt the tight muscles stretch.

 

“Eight…nine…ten. Now relax.”

 

“Fuck me.”

 

The flush returned to Justin’s cheeks as he said that.

 

“That hurt.”

 

Justin cleared his throat nervously. “We have a lot of work to do to repair your muscle strength and to gain back as much functional stability as possible.”

 

Brian just nodded his head from his space on the floor.

 

“Okay, let me help you up,” offered Justin. He didn't even wait for an answer as he reached down and placed his hands under Brian’s armpits and pulled him up. Their eyes met and Justin quickly looked away before bringing them back to look up at Brian.

 

Brian could feel the chemistry between them, it was impossible to ignore. He knew Justin must have felt it too. The way his eyes roamed his body and the soft caresses that always lasted a fraction too long for what he was doing. He wanted to say something, but they were interrupted by a loud knocking at the door. 

“Justin, honey,” Kathy’s voice called. “Just to let you know that, that sweet man of yours is on his way up.”

 

Justin cleared his throat again, it must be a nervous habit of his, Brain thought, as he stood there, still in just his boxers.

 

“Thanks, Kathy. We’re – we’re just finishing up in here anyway.”

 

“Okay, I’ll let him know,” Kathy replied.

 

Brian sat on the bed and began the awkward process of putting his brace back on.

 

“Wait,” Justin said, as he rushed over. “Your leg was looking a little sore – try this,” he said, as he squeezed some lotion onto his hands and bent down – massaging the rich cream onto the friction burns caused by the rough material of the brace. 

 

Brian remained silent throughout, just watching as Justin’s hands worked their magic on the tender skin of his leg. Taking a little longer than needed to ensure that all the cream was worked in.

 

“There – feel better?”

 

“Yes.”

 

_Yes, that does feel better. But now I'm thinking about your soft hands massaging me in other places and my hand drifts down to my once again hardening cock. I can’t help it, it’s a natural reaction._

 

Justin’s eyes wandered down and he pulled his lower lip between his teeth. Brian was sure he was going to say something, but they were once again interrupted.

 

“Ethan’s here, hon.”

 

Brian pulled his jeans on as quickly as he could, not even bothering to try and hide the stiffy in his trousers, he just wanted to get out of there as fast as he could. Which – when on crutches and have a busted shoulder it isn't an easy feat.

 

He got as far as the door when Justin stopped him.

 

“I’ll see you for your next appointment on Friday, yeah?”

 

Brian nodded his head, pulling open the door and pushing past Ethan on his way out.

 

Ethan watched as Brian hobbled his way down the corridor before turning his attention to his boyfriend.

 

“He looked keen to get away,” teased Ethan, as he snaked his arm around Justin’s waist bringing him in for a kiss. “Not working your patients too hard I hope.”

 

Justin pulled away, the overwhelming feeling of guilt running through him. He hadn't even done anything to feel guilty about – not really anyway.

 

“You okay?” Ethan asked, “You still not feeling well?”

 

Grabbing his coat from the back of the door, Justin smiled weakly at Ethan. “No,” he lied. “I think I'm just going to take a nap when I get home.”

 

***

 

The diner was bustling with its usual Friday night dinner crowd. Tables couldn't be cleared fast enough and orders were stacking up in the kitchen. Debbie was rushed off of her feet after pulling another fourteen hour day and all she wanted to do was go home – which, in thirty minutes she’d be able to do.

 

“Right, what’ll it be boys? “ Deb asked, as she pulled the pen out from behind her ear and looked up at her newest customers. “Oh.”

 

“Hi Deb, I’ll have a…”

 

“We’re out of those,” she said, popping her gum loudly.

 

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

 

“Whatever you want – we’re out of, asshole.” 

 

“What the fuck, Deb?”

 

“Don’t you ‘what the fuck me’, how dare you come in here and act like nothing has happened and expect me to serve you with a fucking smile on my face.”

 

“It’s none of your fucking business, Deb.”

 

“It _is_ my business when you mess with one of my boys.”

 

“You wouldn't understand.”

 

“Well why don’t you try and explain it to me?” She said, as she shooed away his dinner mates and sat down across from him at the table, her arms crossed waiting patiently for the man to speak. When it was obvious he wasn't going to start, she began.

 

“I understand this much. Brian was in an accident – a serious one and _you_ , his so called _boyfriend_ , his _partner_ , has made no effort whatsoever to contact him.”

 

Adam rolled his eyes. “He’s a big boy, I'm sure he’ll manage without me.”

 

“He shouldn't fucking have to.”

 

“Listen, Deb. Brian and I… we want different things. I'm just not ready to be the person he wants me to be.”

 

“What? A fucking decent human being?”

 

Adam stood up and grabbed his coat. “I don’t need to listen to this.”

 

“Oh, I think you do, because let me tell you something, Adam Demovich, you may think the sun shines out of your ass, but it doesn't. Grow a pair and speak to him. You owe him that.”

 

“I owe him nothing,” Adam spat out angrily. “We weren't married, there was nothing binding us together. We’re done.”

 

“I was right about you all along. I told him… but he wouldn't listen. You’re a no good piece of shit.”

 

“Well, maybe he should have listened to you.”

 

“Yeah – maybe he should have… Oh, and Adam,” Debbie said, an evil grin forming on her face. “Remember that ‘special vegetarian lasagne’ I made that you loved so much? It was beef. Take that, you little shit.”

 

“Fuck you, Deb,” yelled Adam, as he stormed out of the diner, his friends only following behind when he yelled out for them for join him. 

 

***

 

The buzzer to the loft woke him abruptly from his nap on the sofa. Looking at his phone he saw that he’d been asleep for a solid three hours. No wonder he felt like shit.

 

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” he groaned, as the buzzer went off again for a third time. “I can only move so fast.”

 

He hit the button. “What”? He all but growled. He really wasn’t in the fucking mood tonight. 

 

“I’ve got your favourite…” Deb sing-songed over the speaker, “Tuna noodle casserole. Now let me in, I’m freezing my tits off out here.”

 

Reluctantly, Brian pressed the buzzer that released the front door, allowing her to make her way upstairs. He then pulled the loft door open and waited for the elevator to stop at his floor.

 

“I’ll heat this up for you,” she said, greeting him with a kiss on the cheek and walking past him into the loft.

 

“Deb, I’m not really…”

 

“I’m heating this up and you’re eating it.”

 

He nodded his head in defeat and took a seat at the breakfast bar, watching as she puttered around comfortably in his kitchen.

 

“I had a visitor at the diner this evening,” Deb said as she poured Brian a glass of guava juice.

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“It was Adam.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, he had the fucking nerve to show up and expect me to wait on him.”

 

Deb could see the pain on his face and hated that bastard even more.

 

“What did he say? Did he even ask how I was?” Brian asked hopefully.

 

Placing his dinner in front of him, she sighed sadly. “No, sweetie. He didn’t.” 

 

Brian was silent as he pushed the food around on his plate.

 

“He isn’t worth it, baby.”

 

“I never thought I’d want to settle down,” he started, “but I changed – I changed for him.... He made me _want_ to change.”

 

“I know honey,” Deb sighed, taking a seat next to Brian. “I love the man that you have become. But you didn't change for him, you may think you did, but you didn't. You changed because _you_ wanted to. You grew up. He didn't.”

 

Brian shrugged his shoulders. He wanted to believe her, he really did, but right now nothing was making sense.

 

“You’ll find someone, you’re a catch.”

 

He looked at her and rolled his eyes.

 

“Thanks, Ma.”

 

“You will. You’re handsome.”

 

Brian looked at her, like ‘tell me something I don’t know’.

 

“Successful – and you’re one of the most generous people I know.”

 

Brian squirmed in his seat; he never found it easy accepting a compliment.

 

“There are a lot of guys out there – that are hotter and a hell of a lot better for you than Adam.”

 

His mind wandered to Justin and he scoffs.

 

“I know that. My physiotherapist happens to be gorgeous…”

 

“Well, there you go.”

 

“And unavailable.”

 

“But they _are_ out there.

 

Brian nodded.

 

“Now eat up. Try and get some sleep, okay?” She said, as she stood up.

 

“Are you leaving?” He asked.

 

“Yeah, I thought you might be tired. I know you had your first real physio session this afternoon.”

 

“I did, but – could you maybe stay for a bit?” 

 

Debbie put her handbag down on the table and sat back down. It wasn't everyday Brian reached out to her like this, and she was going to make the most of it.

 

“Of course, baby.”

 

Scooting closer to the man she thought of as another son, she ran her fingers threw his hair in a small attempt at comfort. The fact he didn't pull away and actually leaned into the touch was concerning but she knew that he would make it through all of this. It would be a long road to recovery for Brian Kinney but he would eventually be stronger than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I'd like to wish all my American readers a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you all had a lovely day!
> 
> Secondly, thanks again to Annie_Eliza for being such a fab beta.
> 
> Thirdly, wow, isn't Adam a douche?
> 
> Fourthly, please review x


	5. Chapter 5

Brian woke up feeling more exhausted than when he went to bed last night. He checked his phone and was shocked to see he’d slept for a solid twelve hours. That would explain the intense headache that was beginning to form at the base of his skull. He reached out for the bottle of water he kept on his bedside table and downed the lot.

 

He stretched out his shoulder before sitting himself up and deciding what he’d be doing for the rest of the day. It was Saturday, which meant he had no hospital appointments or meetings scheduled in at work. He wasn't used to having nothing to do.

 

Before the accident he’d been non-stop at work finalising the contract for a huge new account that he’d been working on for the past couple of months - and then when he wasn't at work, he was with Adam. He could go to the diner for lunch, but he wasn't in the mood to deal with the possibility of running into his former other half – not yet anyway. Maybe he could hang out with Mikey? Eh, he wasn't feeling up to that either. 

 

Ever since Deb had told him about Adam a couple of nights ago he’d not been able to get himself out of this weird funk – it wasn’t that he was depressed, he just felt – sad. The doctors had warned him that this might happen; that it was perfectly normal and even expected after an accident and surgery but he’d shrugged it off, not thinking it would happen to him. 

 

He eventually decided that he’d pop into work for a couple of hours to get ahead with some of the paperwork he’d left on his desk last night. He gave his armpits a quick sniff, confirming his suspicions that yes; he needed a shower – desperately.

 

Turning on the water, Brian took a seat in the shower, his leg making it impossible to shower properly standing up. He leaned his head back against the cool tiles and let the warm water wash over him. Reaching down, he casually toyed with his lazy morning wood, biting back a groan as he gave a few leisurely strokes, not really doing much more than gently massaging himself. It didn’t take him long as his mind drifted to Justin and his hand moved faster. Within moments his toes curled and he was arching his back, cumming all over his hand.

 

_Fuck, he needed that._

 

The office was practically deserted, except for the few unfortunate members of the art department that had last minute corrections they needed to have completed and on his desk first thing Monday morning. He thought about stopping by to see how they were doing, but he didn't feel quite as menacing while on crutches, and really, if he couldn't put the fear of God in anyone, what was the point?

 

He settled himself at his desk and got to work, making his way through the abundance of documents he needed to sign. Cynthia won’t know what’s hit her. It’s been awhile since he came into the office on the weekend.

 

After signing what felt like a hundred forms he rummaged around his desk looking for his stapler, which he found buried beneath the papers he’d just authorised. He gathered everything together, bringing his hand down onto the stapler harder than was necessary and sighed deeply when he realised the stapler was empty.

 

“For fuck sake,” he groaned; yanking open the desk drawer beside him, only to find Adam’s face smiling up at him. He pulled out the framed photo of the two of them taken just a few months ago at a work function. The happiness evident on his face – Adam’s too. Or at least he thought so. Oh well, he shoved the photo to the back of the drawer and slammed it closed. 

 

He’d gone through a vast array of emotions over the last couple of days, hurt, confusion, embarrassment, anger – but now he was just disappointed, disappointed that he had allowed himself to fall for someone like Adam. Brian had always prided himself about being a good judge of character, yet somehow he’d fallen for Adam and his bullshit.

 

Looking up from what he was doing, Brian noticed it was starting to get dark outside. Had he really been there that long? His body ached from sitting in the same position for so long. Deciding that he’d had enough for the day, he packed up his things and headed for his car – slowly. His leg was cramping up and his shoulder wasn't playing nice and if he was being honest, he couldn’t wait to get home and take a nice long hot shower and pop another one of his pain pills. He’d have headed straight home if his stomach hadn't started rumbling, but as usual, he had nothing decent to eat in the loft, so he’d have to stop off somewhere on the way home. Starting the car he thought about what he wanted – he still wasn't in the mood for visiting the diner, and he definitely didn't want anything too heavy, so Italian and Chinese were out of the question. Finally he decided what he wanted.

 

***

 

“Baby, will you just decide what you want so we can order and go home. I have a show tomorrow and I have so much I need to do to get ready.”

 

Justin ignored him as he continued perusing the menu in his hand. “There’s so much to choose from.”

 

“Seriously? We come here all the time, how can you not know what you want?” Ethan asked, clearly irritated by how long things were taking. 

 

“I just don’t know what I'm in the mood for.”

 

“Shall I just order for you?”

 

“I'm going to order mine while you decide. I’ll have a tuna melt, please.”

 

The lady wrote down his order and looked at Justin – “And for you?”

 

“I'm still deciding… sorry.”

 

“Take your time,” she smiled warmly. “I'm going to serve the customer that just walked in, but I’ll be back with you in a moment,” she said, as she walked around the corner to the sandwich bar.

 

Ethan sighed loudly.

 

“I _think_ I'm going to go for the cheeseburger sub… and a portion of the Fettuccine Alfredo.”

 

“Both?”

 

“Yes, you know how hungry I get when I've been painting all day,” he replied defensively. 

 

Ethan put his arm around Justin’s shoulder. “Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I was just teasing you. At least we know you’re not a starving artist.”

 

Justin smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, baby. I know you’re just tired. Hey, I'm just going to run to the bathroom, here’s my wallet. Pay for us if I'm not back out in time, okay?”

 

Justin took Ethan’s wallet and put it in his pocket. “Yeah, yeah.”

 

Ethan bounced a little on his heels. They always had this argument. “I mean it, you bought last time.”

 

“Okay – I promise…now go, before you pee your pants,” Justin laughed as his boyfriend made a hasty escape for the bathroom.

 

“If you’d like to take a seat, we’ll have your sandwich and salad ready for you in a moment, sir,”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Justin recognised that voice, but before he had a chance to look round, the lady behind the counter asked to take his order.

 

“That’s not all for you, is it?” The voice behind him asked teasingly.

 

Justin turned around and smiled at the man sitting at the table behind him. “Hey Brian.”

 

“Having yourself a little feast?”

 

“You could say that,” he blushed. “I'm really hungry.”

 

Brian laughed, “I can tell. Do you – do you want to sit down?” He offered, pointing to the chair across from him.

 

Justin grinned and took a seat. “How you feeling?”

 

“Pretty sore today, actually. I lost track of time at the office and didn't get off my ass for a few hours.”

 

“Your leg?”

 

Brian nodded. “Yes.”

 

Justin pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened up his calendar. “I'm not meant to see you until Tuesday this week, but I can fit you in on Monday to take a look?”

 

“Hey babe, have they finished our order yet? Oh, hi…” Ethan said, as he walked over to Justin and saw him talking to Brian.

 

“No, not yet.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“So, what do you say? You want me to pencil you in for Monday?”

 

“I don’t know… it might feel better by then.”

 

“One tuna melt,” the lady called out. Justin remained seated, still waiting for an answer from Brian.

 

“I'm going to need my wallet.”

 

Justin reached in and handed his wallet over to Ethan without looking. “Here you go.”

 

Ethan took it from him and paid for his food. “I’ll be in the car,” he said, already making his way outside.

 

“Okay,” Justin responded flippantly. “So, what do you say? I can fit you in first thing Monday morning?”

 

“Is your boyfriend pissed that you’re talking to me?”

 

“What? No. He has a show tomorrow, so he’s a little… uptight. That’s all.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Take this,” Justin said, as he handed Brian a business card. “It’s got my work cell on there, and if you wake up Monday morning and you feel like you can manage until Tuesday – just let me know.”

 

Brian immediately put the card in his wallet. “Thanks.”

 

“And if you ever…”

 

They were interrupted by their order being called out.

 

“One cheeseburger sub, one Fettuccine Alfredo and one turkey lettuce sandwich on whole wheat, no mayo.”

 

Justin automatically helped Brian stand. “No mayo?” He asked, wrinkling his nose. “Doesn't that make your sandwich kinda… dry?”

 

Brian faux gasped, “I’ll have you know it’s delicious.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it,” he laughed, as they both paid for their food.

 

“Justin? Are you coming?” Ethan asked, as he popped his head around the door. “I really have to get home.”

 

“I’ll be out in a minute.”

 

And with that, Ethan disappeared back outside.

 

“Come on, give me your dryer than dry sandwich and I’ll walk you to your car.”

 

“Don’t you have to get back to your boyfriend?”

 

Justin simply smiled. “He can wait another minute. Now, come on.” As Justin helped Brian stand, he felt his gaze wander down the length of Brian’s back before finally settling on his ass. Damn, that man was born to wear jeans.

 

Brian hobbled slowly to the car, Justin followed closely behind, trying his best to keep his eyes up top, knowing that Ethan was probably watching.

 

“This is me,” Brian said, as he leaned heavily against the Jeep.

 

Justin waited until Brian got in the car before handing him his food. “Let me know about Monday, okay?” Justin reminded him. “And ice your knee when you get home.”

 

“Will do – and thanks.”

 

Justin watched Brian drive away before making his way back to his own car and joining Ethan.

 

“Sorry about that,” apologised Justin as he placed his food on the back seat and started the car. “I just wanted to make sure he got back to his car safely.”

 

“That’s fine,” mumbled Ethan.

 

Justin could tell Ethan was pissed off about something, but he wasn't in the mood to have an argument, so he let it go.

 

“You seemed awfully friendly with that guy in there.”

 

Ah, so _this_ is what it was about.

 

“Ethan, he’s a patient. I saw he was in pain. What was I supposed to do?”

 

Ethan shrugged.

 

“So, what is it?”

 

“I don’t know - I saw you talking to him and I didn't like it.”

 

“Why would you have a problem with me talking to a patient?”

 

“I don’t know – it’s just…”

 

“What? I don’t understand what the problem is.”

 

“He was attractive, like really attractive. And you seemed to – enjoy talking to him.”

 

Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was so unlike Ethan – at least it used to be. The guy he fell in love with seemed to be changing right in front of him and when he thought about it, had been for the past couple of months, but he’d been oblivious to it, until now. Maybe that was the problem.

 

He pulled the car into their driveway, stopping the car.

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“I know, it’s stupid. Forget I even said anything.” Ethan said as he got out of the car, slamming the door behind him as he rushed inside the house. 

 

Groaning, Justin rested his head against the steering wheel before following Ethan inside.

 

“Will you tell me what’s going on?” Justin asked, as he sat himself behind Ethan pulling him down so that he could feel Ethan’s head resting against his chest. Ethan reached for Justin’s hand, massaging it gently. 

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Stop apologising. I know you’re sorry.”

 

“So, come on. What’s going on?”

 

Ethan let out a sigh and played with Justin’s hand, “I don’t know. Maybe...Maybe I'm jealous. Or I feel guilty. I guess I'm taking it out on you. Sorry.”

 

Justin paused, “What do you mean, ‘guilty?’”

 

“There’s this guy…at work. And we…”

 

“Did you sleep with him?”

 

“What? Fuck no. I wouldn't… I wouldn't do that to you.”

 

“You kissed him?” He asked nervously.

 

“No.”

 

“Then what, Ethan? We’re going round in fucking circles here.”

 

“We flirted a little – that’s all. I promise”

 

Justin sighed and rubbed at his tired eyes. “That’s what you were worried about telling me?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Do – do you like him?” Justin asked.

 

Ethan hesitated before answering. “No…”

 

Justin nudged Ethan’s head to the side and began to trail kisses down his neck. “Then you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

 

“I know, but.”

 

Rising from the couch, Justin reached for Ethan, pulling him into his arms. “Stop talking.”

 

“Okay,” sighed Ethan, as Justin slipped a finger through his belt loop and tugged him roughly towards him. Their lips met in a passionate kiss as both men silently fought to dominate the situation. 

 

Ethan pulled away first and ran his fingers through the hair at the nape of Justin’s neck. “Let’s go upstairs.”

 

“I have a better idea,” he smirked, as he pushed Ethan back down onto the sofa and rolled him onto his stomach. He reached for his wallet, taking out the condom and packet of lube he kept hidden away.

 

“Baby… bed.” Ethan grunted as Justin made quick work of his jeans and boxers.

 

“Get on your knees.”

 

Ethan did as he was told. Justin was never usually this demanding and if he wasn't so focused on sticking his dick up Ethan’s ass, he would have questioned what was happening. 

 

Justin reached for the lube, coating his thumb and three fingers of his right hand generously before he dropped to his knees.

 

He reached around Ethan and pumped his dick a couple of times teasingly, relishing the feeling of it twitching in his hand.

 

“Whaa?” mumbled Ethan after Justin removed his hand, leaving him hard and wanting more.

 

When Justin topped, he liked to take his time, foreplay for him was the key to a mind-blowing orgasm. Tonight however was different, he didn't know why, but it was. He didn't want to feather his partner’s back in kisses or play with his balls – tonight, he wanted to fuck.

 

He nudged Ethan’s legs apart and spread his cheeks, blowing cool air onto Ethan’s tight pink hole, before circling it gently with his thumb.

 

Leaning forward, Justin ran his tongue along the dimples at the bottom of Ethan’s back and down into his crack. He inhaled deeply, the scent so intoxicating it sent a shiver down his spine and his dick into overdrive.

 

Justin clutched his cheeks as he spread him open some more, his tongue rimming his hole, tasting him.

 

“Mmm, you taste so good,” moaned Justin, panting hard as he inserted a finger alongside his tongue.

 

In and out, Justin slowly teased his hole before adding another finger. The sensation of his tongue brushing against his digits as he fucked him with his hand was making his dick throb.

 

“More,” hissed Ethan.

 

Justin let another finger slip in as he licked along the rim of Ethan’s hole. Ethan let out a gasp and started thrusting his hips back onto Justin’s fingers. 

 

“Justin, _please_. Just fuck me!”

 

Despite that being just what Justin was planning on doing, surprise bubbles up within him. Ethan was all about the chocolates and the rose petals and the slow thrusts and tender embraces. And Justin loved it at first. There are days that he still does. But Ethan wanting to get well and truly fucked? Well, that was rare. While Ethan was a bottom, he wanted sweet touches, light kisses. He wanted love. And Ethan was loved.

 

But Justin also loved to let loose and fuck hard, throw caution to the wind and not think. That was hard to do with Ethan Gold as his boyfriend.

 

So it didn't take any more begging from his partner to get Justin to pull his fingers out, slick up his cock, and thrust in. He gripped onto Ethan’s hips as he pounded into the man, taking what he desired, as Ethan repeatedly cried out and reached for one of Justin’s hands, needing any bit of connection he could get.

 

“Justin, fuck, slow down!”

 

It took Justin several seconds to process the request but he obliged with difficulty. The grip on Ethan’s hips loosened as he now gently rocked their bodies together.

 

“Yes, like that,” Ethan purred.

 

Justin wanted more – he needed more. He was so, _so_ close, but slowing things down had caused him to lose him momentum. He brought his hands up to explore Ethan’s body, sliding over the thin material that covered his chest and pinched his nipples softly. 

 

Justin could feel his balls begin to tighten. He slid his hand down Ethan’s stomach, groping for his cock and then reaching for his cum-filled balls, cupping and squeezing them teasingly as he moved slowly inside him.

 

Ethan let out a groan as his cock exploded with pleasure all over his hand. His breathing increased and Justin could feel his cock swelling as he shuddered, shooting into the condom buried deep within Ethan’s ass. He thrust a couple more times, milking himself dry before gently pulling out.

 

Ethan stood up and gathered his jeans before turning and smiling sadly at Justin.

 

_Fuck!_

 

“Are you okay?” Justin asked guiltily. He didn't know what had gotten into him and why he’d felt so fucking horny.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Are you sure?” He asked again, bringing their foreheads together and playing with the hair at the back of Ethan’s neck.

 

Ethan just nodded again before inching back to look into Justin’s eyes.

 

“I'm getting tired. That...that took a lot out of me,” Ethan chuckled uncomfortably, “See you upstairs?”

 

“...Yeah, Ethan. I’ll see you upstairs in a little bit.”

 

Ethan gave Justin a soft kiss before lightly squeezing his hands and going up the stairs.

 

Justin sighed as soon as he heard the sound of the upstairs bathroom door before sitting back down on the couch they fucked on. It’s strange but he suddenly felt the need to count the times they had fucked on it. Three? Four? It had to be no more than five. Ethan preferred the bed. It was a good bed but Justin liked variety and there were times he wanted something very different from the norm.

 

Maybe that was why his eyes kept travelling towards Brian Kinney.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, Justin and Ethan sex is ICKY - but I promise you, any sexytimes between Brian and Justin will be MUCH hotter ;) 
> 
>  
> 
> So I hope you can forgive me, but this needed to happen. Are Justin and Ethan wanting different things? Does Brian need help with his morning woody? (YES YES YES, right?)
> 
> This took me so much longer to write than it should have, but as always, HUGE thanks to Annie-Eliza for being awesome and helping me out with the last scene. You are the world's best beta *hands you a medal*
> 
> Please review and let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s Monday morning and Brian is up and dressed an hour before his alarm is due to go off. He’s already sitting at his desk and on his second cup of coffee before the sun has even risen for the day.

 

By the time his 10am staff meeting had finished, he was exhausted. He’d been in pain all weekend with his leg and was running on little sleep to no sleep.

 

He told himself he wouldn't call Justin, he had an appointment tomorrow anyway, why waste his time… The thing was, he _wanted_ to see him, no, he _needed_ to see him. Yes, his leg was killing him but the need to see him had nothing to do with that. 

 

Not that he knew what the root of his need was. Maybe it was because Justin was helping his body heal. Maybe it was his smile and the way it radiated a room. Hell, maybe it was just because he was hot. But Brian had seen a lot of hot guys. He had fucked hundreds of them. But there was just something about Justin that made him feel better every time they saw each other. People like that were few and far between in Brian’s life. 

 

Knowing he wouldn't make it until the end of the day, he relented and picked up the phone. Justin answered almost immediately, which Brian wasn't expecting.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Oh – hey, Justin, it’s Brian.”

 

“Hey, Brian. How’s your leg feeling?”

 

“Not great – you said if I called you might be able to fit me in... If you can’t I can just wait until tomorrow.”

 

Brian could hear Justin breathing heavily through the phone, which went straight to his dick and forced him to adjust himself so that his pants weren't pinching. _Great._

 

“That should be fine, one sec; I think I have a cancellation this afternoon.”

 

“Are you running?”

 

Justin laughed apologetically. “I am, sorry. I left my appointment book with Kathy.”

 

Brian smiled to himself as he pictured him running through the waiting room to his office, the thought was just too fucking adorable… wait, there was that word _again_. It was popping up in his thoughts way too often lately.

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“Okay – Can you get here just after one?”

 

Brian quickly checked his calendar on the computer and marked it in, so that Cynthia could rearrange his afternoon.

 

“Sure, that would be great. Thanks, Justin.”

 

He hung up and looked at the time, hoping it was later than it was, he sighed when he saw he wasn't due at the hospital for another two hours. It was a good thing he had lots of things to occupy his mind, otherwise he’d have gone crazy from constantly looking at the clock. He pulled out a couple of files he needed to read over and sat himself on the sofa in the corner of his office and got to work.

 

***

 

Getting to the hospital a little early, Brian decided to grab himself and Justin a drink from the Starbucks located by the entrance. He wasn't sure what drink he’d like, so he ordered them both a latté to be safe. Most people liked those, right?

 

The barista handed him his drinks and that’s when it hit him – how the hell would he carry them while he was still dependant on the crutches?

 

“BRIAN? I thought that was you, sugar. Are these yours?” she asked, pointing to the drinks on the counter and picking them up before he’d even had the chance to answer her. “Let me take those for you.”

 

He never thought he’d see the day he’d be so happy to see Kathy.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Oh, honey, it’s my pleasure. I was just sitting over there finishing my hot chocolate and I thought I saw you walk in. Well, I only saw you from the back, but I’d recognise that delicious behind anywhere.”

 

“Yeah, I…”

 

He didn't think Kathy even heard him try and say something; she just carried on talking as they made their way to the department.

 

“And then I remembered Justin telling me you had an appointment this afternoon so I _knew_ it was you.

 

“Yeah – he had a cance….”

 

“Do me a favour and see if you can get that boy to smile today. He has the most beautiful smile, it lights up a room…but he just hasn't been his happy smiley self all morning.”

 

Brian knew Justin wouldn't appreciate Kathy talking about him like this, but he was curious as to what had upset Justin. Maybe that damn fiddler had done something to piss him off. He felt bad for hoping that maybe that was why, but he couldn't help it. He didn't like him, and he hadn't since he’d first met him.

 

Before Brian had the chance to say anything, they’d reached the department, and Justin was already waiting for him. He had his back to them as they came in and was leaning against the reception desk, checking his phone.

 

Brian couldn't help but stare – the scrubs he wore hung low on his hips and clung to all the right places.

 

_Holy shit, that ass._

 

“Look who I brought back with me from Starbucks,” Kathy sing-songed, slapping Justin’s butt as she made her way back to her desk.

 

Justin spun around and smiled faintly when he saw Brian standing there.

 

“Hey, Brian.”

 

“Hey.”

 

“You ready,” Justin asked, as he pushed himself off of reception, once again smiling at Brian - but It wasn't his usual sunshiney smile though; this one didn't reach his eyes. Kathy was right, something was up with Justin and Brian was determined that by the end of their session this afternoon, he’d have the boy smiling _for real_.

 

“Don’t forget your drinks, boys,” Kathy said, as she handed them to Justin.

 

“One’s for you,” Brian explained, as Justin looked at the _two_ cups in his hands.

 

“Thank you.”

 

The pain in Brian’s knee was more or less forgotten as he followed Justin to his room.

 

“I wasn't sure what you’d like, so I just went with a latte, I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s perfect, thank you,” Justin said, as he closed the door behind them.

 

“Are you okay?” Brian asked hesitantly. He wasn't planning on coming right out and asking what was wrong, but apparently his mouth wasn't listening to his brain today.

 

Justin looked up from his drink, surprise evident on his face. “I’m fine, why?”

 

“I don’t know, you just don’t seem like yourself today.”

 

“I guess I'm just tired,” Justin tried to explain.

 

Brian nodded, he knew Justin wasn't telling the truth, but he decided not to push any more - for now. He’d open up to him when he was ready, or at least he hoped that would be the case.

 

“Right, hop up on the bed and let’s take a look at what you’ve done to yourself this time.”

 

Brian made himself comfortable as Justin washed his hands before returning and rolling up Brian’s trouser leg. 

 

“Shit, your hands are freezing,” jumped Brian, as Justin’s cold hands began to examine his knee, the skin around his scar extra sensitive.

 

Justin just grinned as he continued on with what he was doing; making no effort to remove his hands and warm them up. “Whoops.”

 

Brian sighed as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the blonde’s feather light touches.

 

_Jesus, he is so good with his hands…_

 

“You've twisted your knee cap, which is causing your quads to tighten up.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“These muscles here,” Justin explained, as he gently massaged the taut muscles above Brian’s knee, working the tension out of them as best he could. 

 

“Feel okay?”

 

Brian could only nod his head as Justin worked the tension out as best he could. The spasms in his legs had finally stopped and he once again felt like he could breathe.

 

Justin increased the pressure a little, eliciting a soft moan from Brian. “Sorry – we’re almost done.”

 

Brian covered his eyes with his hands as Justin worked his magic. The mixture of pain and pleasure was almost enough to short circuit his brain.

Justin gently pulled his hands away and smiled down at the man below him, “look at me - it helps me see when you can’t take any more,” he explained, answering the question written so clearly across Brian’s face. 

 

Brian wanted to reply and say something witty - about how he’s usually the one saying that, but he couldn't find his voice. He was far too busy thinking about how tight his pants had become. And by the look on Justin’s face, he had noticed too – or maybe that was wishful thinking on Brian’s part – but he was sure he saw the blonde’s eyes wandering down and focusing on the huge tent in his pants.

 

“We – er, we probably shouldn't do too much more today.”

 

_Yep, he’s definitely noticed._

 

Brian continued to lie there, making no effort to cover himself. And why should he? He wasn't embarrassed. There was something extremely erotic about lying there, with Justin’s eyes on him. At first he had tried so hard not to stare, but it didn't take long before the blonde couldn't hide it any longer.

 

“Are you…are you okay to keep your regular appointment tomorrow?”

 

“Yep.”

 

They were interrupted by a knock at the door and Brian had a sudden sense of déjà vu. Why did this keep happening?

 

“Justin?” Kathy called out.

 

Justin looked at Brian apologetically as he got up and walked towards the door.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Ethan phoned and said you’ll have to make your own way home today. He’s going out.”

 

Brian watched as a wave of emotions crossed Justin’s face. He went from confused, upset, to pissed off in the space of only a couple of seconds. “Thanks Kathy,” he sighed.

Justin turned around and smiled awkwardly at Brian. “We’re done for today. But I’ll see you tomorrow at two.”

 

“You okay getting home?” Brian asked, watching as Justin busied himself with the paperwork on his desk.

 

“What? Oh, yeah, I’ll be fine.”

 

“Because…my friend Mikey is picking me up and we were going to grab a couple of drinks at Woody’s afterwards. You’re more than welcome to join us.”

 

He could literally see the internal argument going on inside Justin’s head.

 

“I probably shouldn't…”

 

Brian nodded; he knew it was a long shot.

 

“No, you know what? I will join you. 

 

Brian watched in silent horror as Justin put on the ugliest blue zip up hoodie he’d ever seen over his scrubs.

 

_How can someone so beautiful have such devastatingly awful taste in fashion?_

 

As they were getting ready to leave, Justin’s cell phone vibrated with an incoming text message. 

 

“Jerk,” he muttered quietly after reading what it said and shoved the phone back into his pocket. 

 

“Ian?”

 

“His name is Ethan,” Justin laughed as he corrected him, “Yeah, I'm not in his good books at the moment.”

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

What the fuck was he apologising for? Firstly, he wasn’t sorry, not in the slightest and secondly, sorry was bullshit. Hasn’t that been his mantra for the last God knows how many years?

 

“Thanks,” Justin replied, the first sign of a genuine smile appearing on the blonde’s face for the first time that afternoon.

 

Michael pulled into the parking lot of Woody’s and dropped Brian and Justin off by the door while he went and found a parking space.

 

“What are you drinking?” Brian asked Justin as soon as they sat down.

 

“A beer’s fine,” Justin said, as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket.

 

“I'm getting them.”

 

Brian waved over the bartender and ordered their drinks.

 

“Hey, baby,” Emmett called out as he walked into the bar with his arm draped around Michael’s shoulder. 

 

“Look who I found loitering around outside,” Michael teased.

 

Putting his hand on Justin’s back, Brian greeted his friend. “Justin, you remember Emmett? Emmett - Justin.”

 

Justin nodded, “Hi.”

 

Emmett embraced him in a tight hug, “It’s _so_ nice to see you again, sweetie.”

 

Brian reached over and peeled his hands off of Justin, smiling apologetically as he did so. “Don’t mind him”

 

Emmett stuck his tongue out at Brian and took a seat next to Michael. “He loves me really.”

 

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that, Honeycutt,” he teased.

 

Over the past couple of years he and Emmett had grown closer and the banter between them always flowed so freely. He still regarded Michael as his best friend and he always would, but it felt good to finally let people in and allow himself to make friends he didn't constantly hold at an arm’s length, sarcasm firmly in place.

 

“So, Justin, how’s work?” Emmett asked as he took a sip of his obnoxiously pink drink. The umbrella – which he refused to remove, bumped his nose.

 

“It’s good. I really enjoy it.”

 

“I always wanted a job where I got to wear scrubs,” proclaimed Emmett.

 

Justin looked at him questioningly over the top of his beer. “Really?”

 

“No,” Emmett laughed,” but I can’t resist a man in scrubs.”

 

Justin looked down when he realised what he was wearing, and his cheeks burned brightly.

 

Brian, who was just listening to the two of them talk couldn't stop his eyes from roaming over the blonde sitting next to him. Luckily for him, Justin had removed that god awful hoodie and was now sitting there in his scrubs looking absolutely fucking delicious.

 

_The blue really brings out his eyes._

 

Michael’s cell phone rang, it was Ben. Apparently there was some sort of ‘emergency’ at home – but from the look on Michael’s face, the emergency was in Ben’s pants and he needed to go home immediately to take care of things.

 

“Will you guys be okay getting home?” Michael asked, although he was practically out the door already.

 

“Mikey, there are these awesome things called cabs…” Brian teased.

 

He kissed Brian and Emmett on the lips before turning to Justin. “It was nice to meet you.

 

“You too.”

 

And then he ran out the door.

 

“Are you from around here?”

 

“Yeah, I'm from Shadyside,” Justin nodded, “although I only recently moved back. We lived in Philadelphia for the past few years while I finished school.”

 

_We. Fucking Ian._

 

“I knew I hadn't seen you around. I’d remember such a pretty face.”

 

Brian rolled his eyes teasingly causing Justin to laugh.

 

“So, have you wanted to kill him yet?” Emmett asked, as pointed to Brian. “I can’t imagine him being your easiest of patients.”

 

_Emmett is on a roll tonight._

 

Justin smiled “Not yet. But I have a feeling once we hit up the exercise room in our sessions I might want to.”

 

“Is that so?” Brian smirked, as he downed the last of his beer, signalling to the bar man that they wanted another round.

 

Justin returned the smirk and nodded his head. “I have a feeling things will get pretty heated between us once we get you into the gym.” Justin’s eyes grew large as he realised what he had said and how it must have sounded. “I mean, things could get nasty.” his cheeks flushed crimson.

 

Brian couldn't keep the smile off of his face as he watched Justin try and recover from what he was saying.

 

“Oh my, God, you _know_ what I mean though. We’ll end up at each other’s throats.”

 

Emmett was laughing hysterically. “Baby, stop, you’re making it worse.”

 

Justin looked at Brian quickly before averting his eyes. The flush from his cheeks had now spread to the tips of his ears. How could someone so unbelievably hot be so fucking adorable at the same time?

 

The bar man walked over with their drinks and Justin took the beer Brian handed to him.

 

“Please let me give you something for this one?” Justin pleaded.

 

“Justin, put your fucking wallet away. I told you, these are on me.”

 

“But…”

 

“I’ll let you buy me a drink once things get heated between us,” teased Brian. He loved how easy it was to make Justin blush – and the fact he could literally feel the heat radiating from his face made it even better.

 

“Have you been to Babylon since you moved back?” Emmett asked curiously.

 

“I've never been. Ethan isn't really into the club scene.”

 

_Of course he isn't._

 

Emmett looked shocked as he grabbed Justin’s arm. “Oh, sweetie, you have to. Come with us this week, you’d love it.”

 

Justin looked reluctant, but Brian could tell he wanted to go.

 

“Yeah…maybe.”

 

Emmett clapped excitedly. “I promise you’ll love it.”

 

“I’ll ask him.”

 

“If he doesn't want to go, come anyway. Surely he won’t mind you shaking your thing and having a good time?”

 

_I fucking love, Emmett._

 

Justin shifted uncomfortably in his seat for a second before he answered. “You’re probably right.”

 

Emmett sensed the slight shift in Justin’s mood, and pushed another beer towards him as he started on his third, or was it his fourth Cosmo? “Are things not working out so great between you and the boyfriend since you moved back to Pittsburgh?” 

 

Emmett had no shame and, after a couple of Cosmopolitans, he seemed to think of himself as the gay equivalent of ‘Dear Abby.’ Brian smiled apologetically to Justin, or at least he tried to look apologetic. In all truthfulness, he was rather interested to know the answer to this himself.

 

Justin, who was nursing his third beer, sat peeling off the label on his bottle before answering. “I don’t know what’s happened to us.”

 

“Tell, Auntie Em everything.”

 

“We were fine, we were more than fine, we were great – but everything seems so… different now.”

 

Brian looked down, he knows he should feel bad about this, but he doesn't. He feels like a complete shit for being happy to hear that things aren't working out between Justin and the fiddler.

 

Justin finishes his beer. “We just seem to have grown apart.”

 

“How long have you been together?” Emmett asked.

 

“Seven years.”

Emmett scoots his stall closer to Justin. “Holy shit, what were you? Fourteen? Fifteen?”

 

“Eighteen,” Justin laughs. “We met at school. He’s… he’s the only man I've ever been with”

 

_HUH?_

“What?” Emmett and Brian both ask at the same time.

 

“I know, it’s pathetic, right?”

 

“It’s not pathetic, sweetie. It’s… unusual, but it’s not pathetic.”

 

“It’s like…”

 

“Go on,” Emmett encouraged kindly. You could tell he was genuinely interested in knowing more about Justin and he wasn’t just fuelling his need to be nosy.

 

“It’s like we’re no longer compatible sexually.”

 

“What do you mean?” Brian gulped, his throat feeling very dry all of a sudden.

 

“We both want different things,” he explained, looking at Brian.

 

“How so?”

 

The flush once again returned to Justin’s cheeks. “He only ever wants to… to bottom and refuses to even consider, you know… topping me.”

 

Brian shifted awkwardly in his seat, his jeans having suddenly become uncomfortably tight.

 

“Well, honey, who can blame him?” Emmett points out after taking a sip of his fifth Cosmo, “Bottoming is divine.”

 

Brian nodded his head in agreement, the alcohol somewhat loosening his inhibitions. 

 

“Do you, you know, bottom much?” Justin asked shyly. He was clearly embarrassed to be asking such a question; Brian could tell by the way he was anxiously playing with the bottle in his hands, but he was a determined little fucker and made sure to maintain eye contact as he spoke.

 

Brian cleared his throat nervously. He couldn't believe he was having this conversation - he wasn't even that drunk, was he? “I have done it.”

 

Emmett looked on silently, not used to his friend being so open and talkative; especially with someone he essentially just met – fuck that, in general.

 

“Did you not enjoy it?”

 

This wasn't something Brian was comfortable talking about, which, when he thought about how unashamedly he loved sex, was quite funny. But there was more to it, more than he was willing to talk about, hell, more than he was even willing to think about. His bottoming experience had been short lived and was something he associated with a lot of bad memories, memories of which he’d stored away.

 

“Not really.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“It just wasn't the best experience.”

 

Justin looked at him sadly as he placed a comforting hand on his arm, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand up. 

 

“Baby, I'm sorry.”

 

The honesty in Emmett’s voice was so sincere that it made Brian smile. It was only then that he remembered Emmett was even there, years ago he’d have threatened the man if he even so much as whispered a word of what he’d said to anyone, but he knew now that he could be trusted. That Emmett may be a gossip whore, but he’d never betray a friend’s trust.

 

Brian shrugged. He was sorry too. When he’d met Adam, they’d both been unwavering tops, but it didn't take Adam long to resist the Kinney charm and offer up his ass. This worked well for them – or so Brian had thought, but looking back, he wondered how much of an issue this was for Adam. It wasn't like he didn't crave it, he did, he _really_ did, and it was actually something he was silently working towards - but it was too late now. He wouldn't bottom for just anyone. He couldn't, even if he wanted to.

 

“It is what it is,” Brian said solemnly.

 

“Do you think you could – ever again, with the right person?” Justin asked.

 

_Boy, he’s good._

 

Brian thought about it for a moment before he answered.

 

“I’d like to think so.”

 

_Why did he look so happy with my answer?_

 

“Me too,” Justin smiled earnestly.

 

_Fuck, he’s beautiful._

 

“There really is nothing quite like a long, hard cock up your ass,” Emmett sighed happily.

 

Justin nodded his head in agreement.

 

“Yeah, they need to be a decent length, but for me, it’s all about girth,” he explained eagerly, then covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. “Ignore me; I think I’ve had too much to drink.” 

 

Brian was happy for the conversation to be moved away from him, he’d said enough for tonight. He can’t remember the last time he’d talked this much.

 

“No no, go on,” Emmett egged on.

 

“I like, fuck, I can’t believe I'm saying this…I like the feeling of being stretched… of feeling full.”

 

_He’s most definitely had too much to drink, but fuck me, if listening to him talk about feeling full isn't one of the hottest things I have ever heard._

 

“Mmmhmm! Amen to that,” Emmett agreed enthusiastically.

 

“And on that note,” Justin said, “I should probably get going. God knows what I’ll tell you if I have anything else to drink.”

 

Emmett got up and wrapped his arms around Justin’s shoulders. “I like you, promise me we’ll do this again – and you’ll come to Babylon?”

 

“Yeah! Save me a dance.”

 

Justin wobbled slightly on his bar stool. “Yeah, it’s definitely time I went home,” he laughed. “Wanna share a cab?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“You guys go; I'm meeting Teddy for drinks in a bit.”

 

Brian pulled out his phone and called for a cab,

“They’ll be here in two minutes,” he told Justin as he put his coat on and grabbed his crutches. “You okay to wait outside?”

 

Justin nodded.

 

They both said their goodbyes to Emmett and made their way out into the parking lot.

 

“Where do you live?” Brian asked once they were outside.

 

“Squirrel Hill.”

 

“Okay, I only live on Tremont, so they’ll drop me off first. You gonna be okay?”

 

Justin laughed. “I think I’ll manage.”

 

“Give me your phone.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I said give me your phone.”

 

Justin handed his phone over and watched as Brian added himself to his contact list and then called himself.

 

“Text me when you get home.”

 

“Brian, I’ll be fine.”

 

“Just text me, okay?”

 

Justin nodded, sensing that Brian was serious.

 

“I’ll text you.”

 

When their cab pulled up, Brian held the door open for Justin and then climbed in next to him, handing him his crutches as he made himself comfortable for his short ride home. 

 

They rode to Brian’s in a comfortable silence.

 

“This is me,” Brian said, as they pulled up outside the loft.”

 

“Thanks for today,” Justin said. “I really needed it.”

 

“Anytime.”

 

Justin leant over and wrapped his arms around Brian in a quick hug.

 

“Shit, sorry,” Justin muttered bashfully, he obviously hadn’t thought about it before embracing him and he seemed embarrassed by what he’d done. Brian smiled back at him and returned the hug before turning to the driver.

 

“Just put this on the Kinnetik account,” he instructed as he got out.

 

“Brian, no,” Justin tried to argue, as he got his wallet out again for the second time that evening.

 

“Put it away, Justin,” Brian said before closing the door, watching as the car drove off.

 

Brian made his way up in the elevator, the pain from his leg dulled from the alcohol and the pleasant afternoon he’d spent with Justin.

 

_Did he really just think that?_

 

Once inside, he sniffed his armpits – shit he stank. He showered, taking care of the hard on he’d been sporting for a majority of the afternoon no thanks to a certain hot little blonde. 

 

As he was drying himself off, he heard his phone beep from the bedroom. He grabbed his crutches and hobbled as fast as he could to see who it was from.

 

_Please be from Justin._

 

**Home safe and sound. Thank u. J**

 

Brian couldn’t stop the stupid grin that spread across his face as he typed his message back

 

**Glad to hear you got back okay. I’ll see you tomorrow for more torture, I mean physio. B.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and holiday season.
> 
> Thanks as always to Annie-Eliza, Queen of Beta (that is her official title now.) But seriously, I couldn't do it without you - so ta, love *throws you a crumpet*
> 
> Apologies for taking so long to update, I kept falling asleep in the evenings before I could write, damn you real life!
> 
> As usual, please review. I love hearing what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

It had just gone ten, and Brian had already sat through an unexpected Skype call with a potential new client and a senior staff meeting that had gone on far longer than he had anticipated which in turn, made him late for his next meeting with the head of the art department. To say he wasn't in the best of moods was an understatement. He was tired, hungry and incredibly horny; not the best of combinations.

 

His phone beeped as he made his way back to his office. 

 

**Just checking I’ll still be seeing you at two this afternoon? J.**

 

Brian grinned as he looked at the message on his phone. Silly twat, they’d only confirmed his appointment yesterday afternoon, of course he’d still be seeing him.

 

**I’ll be there. B.**

 

_That’s it, keep it nice and simple._

 

He wondered briefly if Justin was just looking for an excuse to text him, but the more he thought about it, the more ridiculous that idea sounded. Of course that wasn't what Justin was doing.

 

His phone beeped a second later with a reply.

 

**Excellent. I’ll have a coffee waiting for you. J.**

 

He hesitated for a couple of minutes about whether or not he should respond further, but finally gave in and wrote back.

 

**Thanks. I’ll have a latte – four sugars. B.**

 

How was something as trivial as texting someone making him feel so Goddamn happy?

 

Brian got back to his office and put his phone in the top drawer of his desk – their little exchange could go for hours, and as much as he’d enjoy that, he had work to do if he wanted to make his two o'clock appointment on time. 

 

***

 

Justin’s ten thirty appointment had been cancelled. Usually he’d have been grateful for the break, but not today. Today he needed to keep himself busy and stop his mind from wandering. Ethan had called him on his way to work, and told him that they needed to talk tonight. He knew it was coming, but that didn't make it any easier and the more he thought about it, the more it made his stomach hurt. Deep down he’d known for a while that things weren't right between them, but he’d tried his best to pretend that everything was okay

 

He had an hour to kill before his next patient arrived, so he decided to use that time to de-clutter his desk. He sat down and began organising patient files and other random pieces of paperwork into various piles. It felt good to be doing something; even if it was just moving things from one pile to another and getting absolutely nothing of use done. He kept thinking about how much fun he had yesterday with Brian and his friends. It had been a long time since he’d enjoyed himself that much.

 

Justin wasn't sure why, but he had this sudden urge to speak to Brian. He knew he couldn't call him, he was at work, and he didn't really have anything to say, but he could text him, that wouldn't be weird, right?

 

Picking up his phone, he typed out a message confirming his appointment at two. It was silly really, he knew Brian would be there, but at least it gave him something to say.

 

When his phone vibrated with a reply, he felt his face light up and his heart beat a little faster. It was fucking embarrassing how happy he was to receive a text message.

 

Ethan has never been one to call or text ‘just for the sake of it’, he always had something of relevance to say – and as ridiculous as it sounds, that had always irritated Justin. He remembered once, quite early on in their relationship he had called Ethan late at night just to hear his voice, he’d humoured him at first, but whether it was intentional or not, he’d made him feel silly for calling.

 

 

Justin put his phone down and tried to continue on with what he was doing. His emotions were all over the place, how had he gone from feeling ludicrously happy to be texting Brian, to feeling like a complete dick within the space of a couple of seconds. Realistically he knew Brian had nothing to do with what was going on with Ethan and that things between them had been falling apart for a while – even though they both chose to ignore it, but he still felt guilty. 

 

Briefly, he toys with the idea of texting Ethan. Just to see and maybe this time will be different. Maybe they’ll connect. Maybe they’ll agree to work harder and more actively on their relationship.

 

But even Justin knows that there’s nothing more to be done. That must say a lot about his optimism when it comes to his relationship with Ethan Gold. 

 

Sighing, Justin tries to get the notions out of his mind. Because, when it comes down to it, he knows that whatever happens tonight will be for the best in the long run.

 

***

 

It was nearing one o'clock, and Brian was going over some of the final panels for the ‘Eat Fresh’ campaign, when Cynthia popped her head around the door.

 

“Brian, Lindsay is on line one. Shall I put her through?”

 

He nodded his head and waited for the call to be connected.

 

“Linds, what’s up?” he asked. “Is Gus okay?”

 

“Brian, everything is fine. It’s just – I need a favor.”

 

“Try me.”

 

“Gus’s school called, apparently a water pipe has burst in the kitchen and they have to close the entire school until they can get it all under control.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“I need you to look after Gus for me this afternoon.”

 

“Linds, I can’t. I have a ton of work to do and then I have an appointment this afternoon at the hospital.”

 

“Take him with you, he’ll be fine. Please? I’d take him with me to work myself, but we have a major show opening this weekend at the gallery and I have so much to do.”

 

Brian sighed. He could never say no to Lindsay, especially when Gus was involved.

 

“Fine. What time will you be here?”

 

“Urm, we’re actually here already. We’re sitting in the car outside.”

 

“Come on up,” he told her as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.

 

“Cynthia!” he called out, “Get in here.”

 

Cynthia walked in and took a seat across from Brian at his desk.

 

“You know how to use the intercom, yet you refuse to use it,” she said, crossing her arms. “Why is that?”

 

“I like the sound of my own voice,” he offered as an explanation.

 

She rolled her eyes. “Of course you do. What did you beckon me in here for anyway”?

 

“Linds is bringing Gus in. Can you cancel my meetings for this afternoon?”

 

“Of course. Anything else?”

 

“No, that’s all, you’re dismissed,” he teased, shooing her out of his office with his hand. 

 

It wasn't long before he could hear the sound of little feet running down the hallway and an excited knocking at his door.

 

“Who is it?” Brian called out, knowing full well who was standing on the other side.

 

“Daddy, it’s me.”

 

“I'm sorry, do you have an appointment?”

 

“Daddddddyyyyyyy,” Gus giggled.

 

God, he loved making his son laugh.

 

“Oh alright, come in.”

 

The door opened and Gus ran in. Brian used his good leg to wheel his chair around his desk and prepared himself to catch the little boy running towards him at full speed with his good arm.

 

“Hi Daddy!” Squealed Gus, as he snuggled into Brian, seeking warmth in his daddy’s arms.

 

“Hey there, Sonny Boy!”

 

“Thank you so much for this, Brian. I should be finished by six. Are you okay to give him dinner? I’ll call you when I’m done and I can pick him up from the loft.”

 

“That’s fine,” he said, ticking the little boy in his arms. “You get to spend the afternoon with Daddy.” 

 

The look of pure excitement on his son’s face at getting to spend time with him never got old.

 

“Gus, you still have your lunch from school. Make sure you eat it all up, okay?”

 

“Yes, Mommy.”

 

Lindsay kissed them both goodbye and ran out.

 

“So, Sonny Boy, do you want to play, or help Daddy?”

 

Gus thought for a moment before answering. “I want to help you.”

 

“That’s my boy. Okay, now this is a very important job. I need you to take this stamp and press it down here in this little box whenever I pass you a piece of paper. Do you think you can do that”?

 

Gus nodded emphatically.

 

It was quite handy having someone else date the paperwork that he was signing. And the look of utter concentration on Gus’s face was adorable. He took his phone out and snapped a picture, he never thought he’d be the type of dad that would want to document every cute thing that his kid did, but it turns out that he was wrong.

 

“Am I doing a good job, Daddy?”

 

“You are doing an amazing job, buddy. Maybe you should quit school and come work for me. What do you think?”

 

“Daddy, I can’t.” Gus told him seriously as he held up five fingers. “I'm only five.”

 

“Really? Only five? I thought you were at least seven or eight. You’re so tall.”

 

“You’re so silly, Daddy.”

 

Brian kissed him on the cheek and ruffled his hair. “We have to leave in a minute.”

 

“’Kay. Where we going?”

 

“Daddy has an appointment for his knee – and then I was thinking maybe we could go and get some ice cream?”

 

“YES! But I have to eat my lunch first, okay?”

 

Brian nodded. “Of course. We’ll bring it with us,” he said, as he picked up Gus’s Olaf lunch bag and his Olaf backpack. His son’s obsession with Frozen still as strong as ever.

 

They rode to the hospital in a taxi; Gus was so excited you’d think he’d never been in a car before.

 

“This is so exciting.”

 

“What? Riding in a taxi?”

 

“No, silly. Spending the day with you.”

 

Brian’s heart melted at his son’s words. It was times like these that made him think of his own father and the terrible things that went on in his house when he was Gus’s age. He looked at the little boy next to him, and wrapped his arm tightly around his son.

 

“We’re here.”

 

Brian gave Gus some money so that he could pay the cab driver and then they made their way into the physiotherapy department.

 

“Well, well, well, who is this handsome little man that you have with you today, Brian?” Kathy asked, as she walked around her desk and crouched down in front of Gus.

 

“Kathy, this is my son, Gus. Gus, can you say hi to Kathy?”

 

“Hi,” Gus said shyly, as he wrapped himself around Brian’s good leg, trying his best to make himself invisible.

 

“Isn't he a darling?” she said, as she stood back up and pinched Brian’s cheeks affectionately. “Like father like son.”

 

“Daddy, I'm hungry.”

 

 

_Thank you, Sonny Boy._

 

Brian smiled at Kathy and turned towards his son.

 

“Okay, come on buddy, go find a chair.”

 

Gus ran over and picked two chairs in the far corner of the waiting room.

 

Once Brian had made himself comfortable, he handed Gus his lunch bag and watched in amusement as his son took out his sandwich and sighed dramatically.

 

“What’s the matter?”

 

“Mommy kept the skin on.”

 

“The skin?”

 

“The skin of my sandwich.”

 

“That’s called the crust.”

 

“I don’t like it.”

 

“Then just eat around it.”

 

Gus looked up at him sadly. “I don’t want it now.”

 

Brian took the sandwich from his son’s hands and nibbled away at the crust, making little monster noises as he did it which Gus thought was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. 

 

“Thank you, Daddy,” Gus said as he took the now crustless sandwich back and began to eat it.

 

“Brian?”

 

_Shit, how long has he been there?”_

 

Brian looked up and saw Justin standing there, trying hard not to laugh at what he’d just seen.

 

“Are you ready? You’re early, so I don’t mind waiting.”

 

“No, we can come in now,” Brian said, as he helped Gus pack his lunch back into his bag. “Come on, Sonny Boy.”

 

As Brian walked passed, Justin leant in and whispered in his ear what he’d just heard Brian doing. “Om nom nom nom nom.”

 

 

Brian’s cheeks flushed at having been caught acting like a goofball, but the smile on Justin’s face as he teased him was enough to make him not care.

 

Walking over to Gus, Justin crouched down and introduced himself.

 

“Hi, I'm Justin. What’s your name?”

 

Once again, Gus hid behind Brian.

 

“Justin, this is my son, Gus. Gus, can you say hi to Justin for me?”

 

Gus poked his head around Brian’s leg and waved shyly. “Hi.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Gus.”

 

“Sorry, he’s a little shy,” Brian apologised, as his son once again went back to hiding behind him.

 

“It’s fine; I was the same when I was his age.”

 

 

“Is it okay for him to eat the rest of his lunch in here?”

 

 

“Of course.”

 

 

“Okay, Sonny Boy. Sit down here and finish your sandwich.”

 

 

“Daddy, where are you going?” Gus asked nervously, his eyes growing big at the thought of being left on his own in this strange room. 

 

 

“No where, buddy. I'm going to be right here,” he said, as he sat down on the bed. “Justin is just going to look at my knee for me.”

 

 

Gus nodded his head and went back to his lunch.

 

 

“He’s cute.”

 

 

“Thanks. I think so too.”

 

 

“Come on then, lay down and let’s take a look at your knee. Did you ice it when you got home yesterday?”

 

“Uh…”

 

“I’ll take that as a no then,” Justin laughed, as he rolled Brian’s pant leg up and removed the brace.

 

 

“I fell asleep.”

 

 

“It’s okay, the swelling isn't too bad today, which is good.”

 

Justin rubbed his hands together to warm them up, before he began working on the tight muscles of Brian’s leg.

 

 

“Is the pressure okay?”

 

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, “that feels good.”

 

He lifted Brian’s leg up onto his shoulder while supporting his injured knee. 

 

_Fuck! This shouldn't be so fucking hot, but it is. Breathe…Thank God Gus is here though, because with my leg thrown over his shoulder like that, I want him to do bad, bad things to me…did I really just think that?_

 

 

“We’re just going to do some simple stretches. Try and push down for me, okay?”

 

“Arghhh ouch!”

 

 

“STOP IT! WHY ARE YOU HURTING MY DADDY?” Shouted Gus, as he pulled Justin off of Brian and stood between the two men, protecting his daddy as fiercely as he could.

 

 

Brian winced as he sat up, pulling Gus towards him.

 

“Hey, Sonny Boy, that wasn't very nice.”

 

“He was hurting you, Daddy. _That_ wasn't very nice,” Gus said, giving Justin his meanest look – which wasn't all that mean.

 

“He wasn't hurting me, Gus. I promise.”

 

“But you said ouch.”

 

“I know, but my leg hurts from the accident, Justin wasn't hurting me. He’s helping make it better.”

 

Gus looked unconvinced and eyed Justin warily, his little arms crossed in front of his chest. “I don’t like it when my daddy says ouch.”

 

“I don’t either,” said Justin. “Hey, I have an idea.”

 

Brian watched as Justin pulled over a stool.

 

 

“Lay back down,” he instructed. “Gus, would you like to help me?”

 

 

Gus nodded his head enthusiastically and climbed up onto the stool, placing a kiss on Brian’s cheek.

 

 

“Hi Daddy,” he giggled.

 

 

“Hi Gus,” 

 

 

“Justin, I know how we can make Daddy’s knee better.”

 

 

“Yeah? What do I have to do?” Justin asked seriously, as though he was taking advice from another therapist and not a five year old child.

 

 

“Kiss it better. When I hurt myself, my mommies always kiss it better. It works, I promise.”

 

 

Justin nodded his head, “I see.”

 

“Kiss it then.”

 

Brian gave Justin a little wink, “Yeah, Justin, you _have_ to kiss it or it won’t get better.”

 

 

Looking up, Justin caught the smirk on Brian’s face.

 

 

“Uh – I don’t know. I mean, I would, but I shouldn't… ethics and stuff. But…”

 

_He’s fucking adorable._

 

Brian rolled his eyes and ran his hand over Gus’s hair. “Why don’t you kiss it, buddy?”

 

Gus leaned over and placed a couple of soft kisses on Brian’s knee.

 

“All better?” He asked, ready to give more kisses if needed.

 

“All better, thank you.”

 

“I told you,” Gus said triumphantly as he looked at Justin. “I told you it works.”

 

“You really did. I may have to start including kisses in my treatment.”

 

“I could have been the first patient it was tried on. Oh, well. You missed out,” Brian teased.

 

“I really did,” Justin murmured.

 

 

It’s when Justin’s blush started to rise into his cheeks that Brian’s eyes widened and a shit eating grin formed on his face. 

 

 

“...Shut up,” Justin told him in a low voice before letting out an embarrassed chuckle, “Now turn over and lay on your stomach.”

 

“Things are moving awfully quickly…”

 

 

“You are too much,” Justin laughed.

 

 

“What?”

 

 

“There’s a five year old in the room yet here you are, still throwing out the innuendos.”

 

 

Brian shrugged and sucked in his breath.

 

 

“I'm five and a quarter. Aren't I, Daddy?”

 

 

“That’s right, you are,” Brian said, as he rubbed at his shoulder.

 

“That hurt, didn't it?” Justin couldn't help but laugh as he examined Brian’s shoulder for any damage. “You just pulled it. Be careful.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Justin shook his head, “you’re ridiculous. Now turn over and scoot down so your feet are at the end of the table.”

 

This time Brian did as he was told and turned to lie on his stomach.

 

“Gus, you see that towel over there? Can you bring that to me, please?”

 

Gus jumped off of the stool, excited to be able to help.

 

“Here you go,” he said, as he handed Justin the towel.

 

 

“Right, can you fold that in half?,” Justin asked, “Then you can put it under your daddy’s thigh for me.”

 

Gus did as he was told, his tongue caught between his teeth in concentration as he tried to line up the corners. “Like this?”

 

“That’s perfect, now put it here,” Justin said as he lifted Brian’s leg up slightly so they could lay the towel down.

 

Gus took his time making sure the towel was in the right place before giving Brian’s leg a little tickle as he removed his hand.

 

Brian looked at his son and smiled warmly, “I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sonny Boy, you never know when the tickle monster will make an appearance.”

 

Gus squealed and moved out of the way of Brian’s hand. “Noooo, Daddy. No tickling.”

 

“No tickling,” Brian promised. “Right, what now?” he asked, looking up at Justin.

 

“Make sure you keep your arms down beside your body, and I’m going to help bend your knee. Tell me if it hurts too much and we’ll stop.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“It will feel tight, but that’s normal.”

 

Brian smirked; it was too easy to mess with Justin when he said things like this.

 

“What am _I_ going to do?” Gus asked, not wanting to be left out of what the grown ups were doing. 

 

“You have the most important job. When I bend your daddy’s leg, you need to count to five for me. Can you do that?”

 

“Uh huh, I can count to a trillion.”

 

Justin placed one hand on Brian’s calf and the other on his butt, making sure he stayed in the same position. “No way, that’s awesome. I knew you would be perfect for this. Are you ready?”

 

 

Brian and Gus both nodded, Gus the more eager of the two.

 

 

Justin’s hand on Brian’s butt ensured that Brian remained still; while his other hand worked on bending his knee.

 

 

“One, two, threeeee, four, five.”

 

“How does that feel?” Justin asked, as he lowered Brian’s leg back to the table.”

 

“Sore.”

 

 

“It will be. We just need to do this another couple of times, but we don’t want to overwork it today. You’re going to feel it tomorrow.”

 

 

“Urgh.”

 

 

“You’ll be fine. Once we start doing this regularly, you’ll be able to do it on your own at home and it will get much easier.”

 

Brian buried his face into the bed as Justin and Gus continued on with bending his knee.

 

 

“And we’re done.”

 

 

“Well done, Daddy. You’re so brave. Wasn't he brave, Justin?”

 

 

“Probably the bravest patient I've had all day,” Justin tells him as he lifts Gus off of the stool.

 

The look of utter adoration on his son’s face made Brian feel like some sort of superhero.

 

“I'm just going to print off some gentle stretches for you to do at home and then we’re done,” smiled Justin as he walked over to the printer on his desk. “Does your leg feel okay now?”

 

“Yeah it’s fine,” Brian assured him as he rolled down his pant leg, strapped on his brace and hopped off of the table. “How long do you think I need to wear this for?”

 

“Probably only another couple of weeks.”

 

“Only?”

 

“Is it that uncomfortable?”

 

Brian shook his head. “No, it just rubs a bit. I’ll be okay.”

 

Justin disappeared into the little supply closet to the right of his desk and came out with a bunch of cotton padding. “Here, let’s see if this helps,” he said, as he bent down and redid Brian’s brace, placing the padding underneath the Velcro fastenings. “That should feel better.”

 

Smiling down, the dirty thoughts ran through Brian’s mind at lightning speed at the sight of Justin down on his knees. “It uh, it does.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Daddy, can we go for ice cream now?”

 

“In a minute, kiddo. We’re almost done here, okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

 

Brian turned his attention back to Justin. “Are you finished for the day?”

 

 

“Yeah, you’re my last patient.”

 

 

“Would you like to come with us? We’re just going to the mall to grab some ice cream,” he then lowered his voice, “it’s actually frozen yoghurt, but don’t tell him.”

 

“Is Justin coming?” Gus asked excitedly. “Do you love ice cream too?”

 

“I love ice cream. Are you sure you don’t mind?” Justin asked. Ethan wouldn't be home for hours and he knew if he were left alone with his thoughts he would work himself up about their conversation that night.

 

“Not at all. We’d love Justin to come with us, right, Sonny Boy?”

 

“Yes come with come with.”

 

“Looks like you don’t have a choice,” laughed Brian as he watched his son grab hold of Justin’s hand and excitedly pull him towards the door.

 

“Let me just grab my coat – here, take these,” Justin said, as he handed Brian a bunch of printouts. “They’re your stretches.”

 

Brian folded them up and put them in the front of Gus’s backpack as he watched Justin walk back into the little supply closet and collect his coat. 

 

_Thank God he isn't wearing that hideous sweater this time._

 

Once Justin had signed out and said goodbye to Kathy, they made their way outside to find a cab.

 

“Do your coat up,” Brian said, as he adjusted the hat on Gus’s head. “It’s cold out.”

 

As he said this, he noticed Justin rubbing his hands together. His fingers already going white from the cold.

 

“Are you cold?”

 

“What? Oh, no. I'm fine.”

 

Brian pulled his gloves off and handed them to Justin. “Wear these.”

 

“I'm not wearing your gloves, Brian. You need them.”

 

“Put them on.”

 

“Brian…”

 

“Just put them on.”

 

Brian wasn't backing down, so Justin slid them on, his fingers instantly warming up. “They’re a bit big on me,” he grinned, showing off how much room there was at the tips of his fingers.

 

Luckily they didn't have to wait long for a cab and were at the mall within twenty minutes.

 

“Ice cream first, Daddy?”

 

“Yes, ice cream first,” he laughed, watching his son eagerly run on ahead. “Don’t go too far, Sonny Boy.”

 

“I won’t, Daddy,” he called back, already having slowed down to look at something he’d found on the floor. 

 

Brian and Justin walked the rest of the way to the Frozen Yoghurt store in a comfortable silence. Brian couldn't remember ever being this at ease around Adam and that thought kind of scared him. He didn't want to focus on it too much, but it had to mean something, right?

 

“Ohh ‘No Weigh Wednesday’s’,” Justin said excitedly as he pointed to the sign outside Sweet Frog.

 

“Is this it, Daddy?” Gus asked, bouncing on the balls of his feet outside the store as he waited for Brian to catch up to him.

 

“I don’t know, do you think this place sells ice cream?” He asked teasingly.

 

“YES.”

 

“Then this is it.”

 

Gus ran in and picked up his paper cup and waited for Brian and Justin to do the same.

 

“You have to slow down a bit, Gus. Daddy can’t move that fast at the moment,” Brian reminded him. He hated these fucking crutches and how they slowed him down.

 

“Here, what do you want?” Justin asked, as he took two cups from the dispenser. “I’ll get it and you go and find us a seat.”

 

“Original with Strawberries and blueberries… but I need to help Gus.”

 

“I can do it. Is there anything he isn't allowed?”

 

Brian shook his head. “I’ll go pay, and meet you over there,” he said, pointing to a table in the far corner.

 

Justin went to take his wallet out but Brian shooed his hand away. “We invited you.”

 

“Thanks… You ready, Gus?”

 

Gus nodded and took hold of Justin’s hand. “Come on, I want to show you my favouritest flavour.”

 

Brian paid and took a seat, watching as they both filled their cups up to the top with frozen yoghurt and ridiculous amounts of toppings. There was something special about watching Gus run circles around Justin. His kid was genuinely quite shy and not all that great around new people, but he’d taken to Justin immediately. Clearly his son had good taste.

 

Justin walked over carrying two very full cups of frozen yogurt with Gus following behind, his own cup gripped tightly in his hands.

 

“Here you go,” smiled Justin, placing Brian’s froyo in front of him as he took a seat. His own cup piled to the top with all kinds of sugary crap.

 

“Daddy, guess what???”

 

“What?”

 

“Justin likes ‘prinkles too,” he said, as he took a seat next to Brian - sprinkles and chocolate shavings flying everywhere as he stuck his spoon in and began shovelling food into his mouth.

 

Justin shot out of his chair and ran to the counter, grabbing a handful of napkins.

 

“Let’s roll your sleeves up,” he told Gus, as he helped the little boy pull up the sleeves of his sweater and tucked a napkin into the front.

 

“’Ank you,” he mumbled, his mouth already filled with M&M’s and other chocolatey goodness.

 

“Thank you,” Brian smiled warmly “You’re really good with him.”

 

“Thanks,” he blushed. “Gus is adorable; you can’t help but smile and have fun while being around him.”

 

“He must get that from me.”

 

Justin looked up and saw the teasing look in Brian’s eyes and laughed.

 

“Yeah. He must.”

 

It was so fucking easy to just relax, and be himself with Justin.There were no preconceptions whatsoever, and that felt really good. He’d changed a lot over the years, but there were still a couple of people in his life that found that difficult to accept.

 

Justin was a natural with Gus and the kid adored him Adam had never even met him. There had been opportunities for the two to meet, but something always ‘came up’. When he thinks about that now, he realises how fucked up that was. 

 

Brian shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. He couldn't let himself get lost in his thoughts, Adam wasn't worth it.

 

“So, what did you get?” He asked, looking at Justin’s almost empty cup.

 

“Chocolate and strawberry.”

 

“And ‘prinkles,” Gus chipped in.

 

“And sprinkles.”

 

“And what about you, Sonny Boy, what did you get”?

 

Gus put his spoon down and wiped his mouth on his arm. “Chocolate and cake batter with lots and lots of ‘prinkles and M&M’s on top. It’s so yummy, Daddy.”

 

Brian’s stomach churned at the thought of ingesting that much sugar.

 

“Wanna try some?” Gus asked, his small hand bringing a large spoonful to Brian’s mouth.

 

He hated to admit it, but it was good, and he swore he saw Justin watching intently as he licked the spoon clean. 

 

“Daddy, I'm finished.”

 

“Good boy.”

 

“Can we go and play now, please?”

 

Brian looked at Justin and saw that he’d finished his too. “Yes, are you okay with that?” he asked.

 

“Sure,” he nodded. “Do you not want the rest of yours?”

 

“Nah, I'm good. Why, do you want it?” Brian asked teasingly, seeing the way the blonde was looking longingly at his practically still full cup. 

 

Justin shook his head, embarrassed to have been caught out.

 

“Enjoy it,” laughed Brian, as he pushed the cup across the table. “You can take it with you.”

 

Gus was jumping up and down impatiently by the table, the sugar rush having kicked in. “Come onnnnnnnn.”

 

“We’re coming, buddy,” he laughed, loving how excitable his kid was.

 

Justin handed Brian his crutches and they followed Gus out of the store.

 

“Can I go on one of those, please, Daddy?” begged Gus, pointing to the motorised animal scooters on offer to help kids get around the mall more easily.

 

“Sure, which one do you want to go on?” Brian asked, as they made their way towards the vast array of giant electronic stuffed animals.

 

“There are so many,” gasped Gus as he ran towards them. “Urrrrm, I think I like the elephant.”

 

Brian handed his money over and stood next to his son. “Yeah? Good choice. Now, climb on.”

 

Gus looked at him and then the elephant, before turning back to Brian. “I'm scared.”

 

The lady from ‘Giddy up Rides’, spoke up. “If he’s scared, you can ride with him until he’s more comfortable on it.”

 

Brian looked down at his leg and sighed.

 

“I can go on with him – if he’d like?” Justin suggested quietly. “And if you don’t mind.”

 

“Why would I mind?” Brian asked curiously.

 

“I – I don’t know.”

 

“Yay!! You’re going to ride with me, Justin?”

 

“Yes, if that is okay with you?”

 

Gus threw himself into Justin’s arms. “Yesssssssss.”

 

Justin grinned at Brian as he put Gus onto the elephant and climbed on behind him, wrapping his arms around him protectively. 

 

“My, what a long trunk you have,” Brian said, making himself laugh as he stroked the elephant’s trunk.

 

“Stop it,” warned Justin as he too began to laugh.

 

“What’s so funny?” Gus asked, as he turned his head to look at Justin.

 

“Nothing,” Justin said as he looked at Brian pointedly, “Your daddy is just being silly.”

 

Gus giggled. “My daddy is _always_ silly.”

 

“I am not.”

 

That just made Gus giggle more.

 

“Alright, are you ready to test drive this little guy out?” Justin asked.

 

“ _I’m driving?_ ”

 

“Yes. All you have to do is push this down… and if you want to stop, you just stop pushing. How does that sound?”

 

“Scary.”

 

“Come on, you can do it.” Justin assured him. “I’m right behind you.”

 

Gus pushed down on the lever and the elephant began to move, squealing in excitement as they made their way down the mall’s walkway at an excruciatingly slow pace pace.

 

“Are we going too fast for you?” Justin teased.

 

“I...I don’t know!” Gus giggled, almost hysterically, so excited over such a simple ride. 

 

Justin suppressed a laugh, looked towards Brian with bright eyes, and saw that the older man was smiling about Gus’s excitement too.

 

“At least your daddy can keep up with us,” Justin teased.

 

Brian rolled his eyes good naturedly and slowed down, pretending to find it difficult to keep up. “I don’t know about that.”

 

“Are you ready to try and ride on your own now?” Justin asked.

 

Gus nodded his head and bounced excitedly in his seat.

 

Justin hopped off the elephant and let Gus take full reign of the contraption. 

 

Brian looked on proudly as Gus handled the elephant, wobbling only slightly as he got used to steering on his own.

 

“Thank you for doing that.”

 

Justin gave Brian one of his sunniest of sunshine smiles, “It was no problem.”

 

“I know, but still.”

 

They walked in silence for a couple of minutes, both just enjoying watching Gus and what was going on around them. 

 

“He thinks the world of you, you know?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Gus, he worships you. He thinks you’re a superhero.”

 

“Did he really say that?”

 

Justin looked at Brian and was surprised by the vulnerability he saw lurking behind those gorgeous hazel eyes.

 

  
“Yeah, he did. Why, does that shock you?”

 

“I… I guess it does, yeah,” admitted Brian, the thought of his son thinking of him as some sort of superhero was completely new to him. He knew his son loved him, they told each other all the time. But it still amazed him that his son’s eyes would light up as soon as he saw him and a look of pure awe, affection and complete and utter admiration would be written across his face. Yet, there was still that small part of him that doubted his abilities as a father. That he’d suddenly wake up one day and have morphed into Jack. Realistically he knew this would never happen, but it still scared the shit out of him. “What did he say?”

 

“That you’re an expert and know the answer to _everything_ ”

 

Brian grinned; of course his son would think that - at the moment he _did_ know the answer to everything Gus asked him. He knows that will change as he gets older, so why not just enjoy it while it lasts? “Well, he’s not wrong there.”

 

“You’re so full of yourself,” Justin laughed heartily.

 

Brian nodded his head in agreement. It’s true, he was. This only made Justin laugh more.

 

“And that you’re really tall.”

 

Brian looked confused. “What?”

 

“Apparently your height qualifies you for superhero status.”

 

“Do I sense some bitterness here?” Brian teased.

 

 

“Oh please,” Justin scoffed, “What I lack in height I make up for in other areas.”

 

Brian looked him up and down appreciatively. “I'm sure you do.”

 

“Oh my God, that’s not what I meant,” said Justin, his cheeks turning a beautiful shade of crimson. A sight Brian was appreciating more and more each time it happened. 

 

“Mmhmm. I'm sure it’s exactly what you meant.”

 

“No, it really wasn't,” Justin laughed as he tried to explain, the embarrassment still evident in his voice and in the pinks of his cheeks. “I was kidding, I was going to say my _amazing personality_.”

 

Brian raised his eyebrows in amusement. “I see.”

 

“It really was,” smirks Justin playfully.

 

“So you say you're _not_ bigger in that way?"

 

Justin didn't have a chance to respond before Gus called their names frantically.

 

“DADDY, JUSTIN, LOOK!! Gus shouted, as he stopped outside the Disney Store. “There are _so_ many Olafs.”

 

They followed Gus into the store, the ‘Giddy Up’ ride long forgotten as he charged around touching everything in sight. Brian watched in amusement as his son danced around with a large Anna doll in his arms, the words to ‘Love is an Open Door’ being sung at full volume.

 

“Daddy, who is your favourite? Anna or Elsa?”

 

“Urm… Elsa?”

 

“Really?” replied Gus, a hint of disappointment in his voice at his Daddy’s answer. “JR loves Elsa too, but Anna is _my_ favourite.”

 

“She’s my favourite too, Gus,” Justin chips in.

 

“Really?” The little boy asked, delighted to _finally_ have someone to share his love with.

 

“Really,” Justin nodded. “Why is she your favourite?”

 

Gus thought about his answer for a moment. “Because… she has pretty red hair. And it doesn't matter that she doesn't have magical powers like Elsa, she is still special.”

 

“She is,” Justin nodded his head in agreement. Brian stared at the two of them, unable to believe that Justin was having such a conversation with his kid.

 

“This fucking movie - he’s obsessed,” grumbled Brian.

 

“The animation is beautiful though,” replied Justin candidly.

 

“I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff.”

 

Justin laughed. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”

 

Brian smiled to himself. Hopefully that will change and soon.

 

“I used to want to work in animation,” Justin explained.

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, it was what I was originally going to go to school for.”

 

“What happened? You decided art wasn't for you?” Brian asked, wondering how you go from wanting to become an animator to working as a physiotherapist.

 

“I had an accident.”

 

Brian wanted to ask him about it, but he could tell by the look on Justin’s face that there was more to the story than he was letting on and the middle of the Disney store was not the place to do it. 

 

Then Justin got a look on his face, one that seemed uncomfortable and unhappy. Brian wanted to apologize. For what, he didn't know. But the expression just confirmed that there was more to the story. But when Brian prepared to ask Justin what was wrong, the younger man’s cell phone rang.

 

Justin pulled the cell out of his pocket and looked at the screen, which only made Justin’s frown deepen.

 

“Hey, Ethan?...You’re home?....Yeah...Yeah, I know.”

 

Brian watched Justin closely and his eyes widened when Justin’s eyes started to look almost teary. 

 

“Okay. I'm on my way...And Ethan? I...I love you. I’ll be there soon.”

 

Justin hung up the phone and glanced at Brian before forcing a smile. 

 

“Sorry about that. It...It was really great hanging out with you. I wish that I could stay longer-”

 

“But you need to get back home,” Brian finished.

 

Justin nodded, seemingly relieved that Brian didn't ask any questions about whatever was going on.

 

“Are you leaving me and Daddy?” Gus asked, suddenly at their side once more.

 

Justin smiled and squatted down, “For today, buddy. But I really liked hanging out with you. I'm sure we’ll meet up again.”

 

Gus nodded enthusiastically, “We will plan something! Daddy will call you and ask you out.”

 

Just then, Justin turned his head up to smirk at Brian and Brian couldn't help but feel a blush rise up in his cheeks at his son’s choice of words.

 

Then Justin leaned in, “He better. I haven’t had this much fun in a while. I better get going though. I have some grown up things to do. Blah.”

 

Gus nodded, sympathetic to Justin’s plight, before launching himself at Justin for a hug.

 

“See you soon, Jus!” Gus told him as he patted Justin on the back and let go.

 

Justin stood up as soon as he was released from the embrace and turned to look at Brian.

 

“See you soon.”

 

Brian can’t help but watch Justin walk away for as long as his son will let him. 

 

“He’s nice,” Gus told him as soon as Justin couldn't be seen any more, “Do you like him like I like Anna?”

 

Brian looked down at his son’s innocent face and rolled his eyes, “You think you are so smooth, don’t you?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Brian sighed. It was too late. He knew his son’s game now. But Gus just might be right.

 

“Justin has a boyfriend,” Brian informed his son, whose expression fell at the words until the little boy unexpectedly perked up.

 

“Hans was Anna’s boyfriend too but Kristoff was better so she got with Kristoff. You’re better than any boyfriend, Daddy.”

 

Brian barked out a surprised laugh at that, “You sure know to butter your dear old dad up.”

 

“Does that mean I can pick out a toy?”

 

Brian thought on it and nodded, “Sure. Go ahead.”

 

And, while Brian wasn't that thrilled that Gus picked out the large Anna doll, he knew, better than ever, that the heart wanted whatever it decided to desire, brain be damned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, huge thanks to Annie-Eliza, who helped me out with this when I was stuck, and beta'd it for me, to correct any of my stupid mistakes. It's scary how much she can read my mind.
> 
> Giddy Up Rides  
> http://giddyuprides.com/
> 
> As always, I'd love to know what you think, so please leave a review. You guys have been SO lovely, thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

The entire cab ride home from the mall, Justin felt as though his stomach would explode from nerves. This was probably going to be the hardest conversation he’d ever have, and although he’d been preparing himself for it all day, he didn’t think he’d ever be quite ready for it.

 

He took a deep breath before he unlocked the door to their apartment, smiling sadly at Ethan who was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

 

“I got you a beer.”

 

“Thanks,” Justin said, gratefully accepting the much-needed drink from Ethan.

 

They sat in silence for what seemed like forever but was probably no more than a minute or two. Neither of them wanted to be the one to say the actual words, that they were done – that this was over.

 

“Shit, Justin. This is so fucking difficult.”

 

“I know,” Justin nodded, as he rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “

 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Ethan, I’m just _so_ sorry.” Justin was the first to cry. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed the tears to go away, but once the first slid down his cheek, the rest followed freely, and he was crying, weeping silently; his whole body shaking as he cried into his hands. “I just don’t know how this happened… I thought…I thought this was _it_.

 

Ethan crumbled at the sight of Justin crying beside him, closing the gap between them he pulled Justin into his arms. “Me too,” he said sadly, dropping a kiss on Justin’s head.

 

“I don’t know how this happened. What did we do wrong?” Justin sobbed.

 

“Nothing,” Ethan promised him. “Neither of us did _anything_ wrong. We just…we fell out of love.”

 

Justin lifted his head from Ethan’s shoulder, “But I still love you.”

 

“I know you do. And I still love you, but we’re not _in_ love anymore.”

 

Justin nodded. He knew Ethan was right; they’d fallen out of love a while ago, but they had both been plodding on as though nothing was wrong. But it still fucking hurt.

 

“I don’t know _when_ it happened, or _why_ it happened – maybe we got together too young? Maybe we were just not meant to be? But, what I do know is that we had seven amazing years together, and I’ll always be thankful for that, Justin.”

 

Justin wrapped his arms around Ethan tightly; as he tried to reassure him that he felt the same way. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he _needed_ to say, but he couldn’t find his voice. Every time he tried to speak he just cried harder.

 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Ethan whispered. “I know.”

 

They sat on the couch curled up in each other’s arms for over an hour, neither saying anything, but after seven years together, words weren’t necessary. They both knew what the other was thinking and feeling and that was enough to comfort them both.

 

Justin broke the silence first, his voice hoarse from crying. “What now?”

 

“I think I’m going to stay with Brooke from work for a bit, just until I can find an apartment of my own.”

 

“You don’t have to move out… you can stay here until you find somewhere.”

 

Ethan smiled warmly, “I know I can, but I think it’s for the best.”

 

Justin nodded his head in agreement. “I know.”

 

“I’m going to miss you,” Ethan told him quietly.

 

“Me too.”

 

It was then, that Dowager decided to make her presence known. Hopping up onto Justin she curled up comfortably in his lap and nuzzled his fingers until he got the hint and stroked her.

 

“You’re such a demanding little lady,” he told the cat as he reached for a tissue to blow his nose. All that crying and his allergies seemed to have turned him into a sniffling mess.

 

Lifting Dowager into his arms Justin rubbed their noses together, causing him to sneeze three times in quick succession. “I’m going to miss you, yes I am, yes I am.” 

 

“I was actually thinking about that,” Ethan said, as he handed Justin a tissue. “I think… I think she’d be happier here – with you.”

 

“But she’s yours,” Justin tried to argue.

 

“I may have rescued her, but she’s never been mine, you’ve always been her favourite.” Ethan explained. “She tolerates me.”

 

Justin would have argued the case, but Ethan reached out and attempted to stroke Dowager. The cat swatted him away with her paw and hissed at him. “Point taken,” he laughed. 

 

Silence once again filled the room. “This is so weird.”

 

“What is?” Ethan asked.

 

“Us. We just broke up. I ugly cried for a bit about it and now...now we’re laughing at how much your cat hates you.”

 

Ethan smiled, “It’s not that weird. We just...We just know this is the right move for us. We’re accepting it and moving on. By talking about how much Dowager hates me.”

 

Justin felt his eyes soften and he bit his lip before putting his forehead to Ethan’s, “We can...we can still be friends, maybe?”

 

Ethan’s eyes mist over a little, “Maybe. I think we can manage that someday. It just might take some time for us to get there.”

 

And it’s hard, spending those last moments with Ethan, helping him pack up some of his things. But for the first time in over a year, he actually feels in tune with him. 

 

***

 

By the time Justin got home from work he was utterly exhausted. He’d hardly slept the past couple of nights and it was beginning to take its toll on him.

 

The apartment felt so much bigger without Ethan, which was strange seeing as he was a minimalist to the extreme and could pretty much live out of his duffel bag. But, the piles of sheet music on the coffee table, the music stand (that was always in the fucking way) and the little packets of sunflower seeds that he was always eating (and then leaving in random places), they were all gone.

 

He sighed heavily as he dropped his bag by the front door and settled himself on the couch. His phone buzzed against his leg and it took all of the energy he had left to pull his phone out from his pocket.

 

**Hope you’re okay. Call me if you want to hang out. Love you xxx**

 

The text from Daphne was pretty much the same thing she’d been sending him for the last couple of days and it’s not that he didn’t appreciate it, but he didn’t want the company. He needed to learn to be by himself, which is something he’d never had to do before. 

 

“Meow,” Dowager greets as she walked into the room and sat by his feet.

 

“You’re still here, aren’t you?” Justin murmured as he bent down to pick up the white cat.

 

Dowager purred and lightly tapped his hand with her paw, claws in and with only love. A rarity when it came to anyone else but Justin.

 

***

 

“Hey, hun, did you have a nice break?” Kathy asked sweetly, as Justin walked back into the physio department after his lunch.

 

Smiling back as best he could, he nodded his head. He didn’t want to tell her the truth. That it had sucked. That he’d eaten lunch by himself in his car as he watched the snow fall heavily outside. That the thought of sitting in the staff room with people he hardly knew made him feel physically sick. That the _only_ person he wanted to see was Brian, and that scared the shit out of him.

 

“It was fine, thanks.”

 

“Good,” she smiled back. “You have ten minutes until Brian, and you’re three o’clock has cancelled. “Go take your coat off and warm up hon.”

 

Sighing heavily, Justin nodded his appreciation and made his way to his office, removing his sodden jacket along the way. He really needed to invest in something more water resistant as the short walk alone from the car to the hospital had caused snow to seep through and dampen his scrubs.

 

“Shit,” he muttered, as he rummaged around the supply closet for an extra set of scrubs to change into –suddenly remembering that he’d taken them home to wash and hadn’t yet brought them back. Luckily his pants were fine, but his shirt was pretty much soaked through, sticking to his body uncomfortably. 

 

As he reached for a towel to dry himself off, there was a knock at his door.

 

“Justin, Brian’s here. Shall I send him in?” Kathy called out, her shrill voice sending shivers down his spine.

 

He doesn’t answer, just opened the door and greeted them both with a barely there smile. “Come on in, Brian.”

 

Brian hobbled past Kathy into the room; his clothes drenched with snow also.

 

“Be careful,” Justin warned, “the floor’s wet.”

 

He watched as Brian propped his crutches against his desk and stuck his good arm out towards him. “Help me?” 

 

Justin smirked, knowing full well the man didn’t need any assistance; he took his arm anyway and walked him towards the treatment table. “Lie down.”

 

Hesitating for a second, Brian lies down and turned his head so that was facing Justin.

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Justin said as he washed his hands – twice.

 

“You sure?” Brian asked gently, the concern evident in his voice. 

 

_How does he know something’s wrong?_

 

“Honestly, I’m fine.”

 

_I need to tell him._

 

“If you want to talk, I’m here,” Brian offered. 

 

Justin nodded his thanks. He could tell Brian knew he wasn’t being honest, that he wasn’t alright, but he appreciated him not pushing him to talk. Just knowing the offer was there was enough to put a small smile onto his face. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Neither said anything for the next couple of minutes as Justin sat on the stool next to the treatment table going over Brian’s notes. “We broke up.”

 

Brian jumped at the sound of his voice. “What?”

 

“We broke up. Ethan and I, we broke up,” Justin told him. He stood slowly and nodded towards Brian’s knee. “I’m going to take a look, okay?”

 

“Sure,” Brian said, as he began to pull his pant leg up, only for his hands to be pushed away. “I’ll do it.”

 

Justin could feel Brian’s eyes on him as he started working on his leg.

 

“Are you… are you okay?”

 

Looking up, he met Brian’s gaze, surprised to find the man looking at him with such concern and care. Justin sighed and looked away.

 

“No. Not really. It...It was time, but it’s still hard.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You know?”

 

Brian nods, hissing briefly as Justin massaged a particularly tight knot out of his muscle. 

 

“I recently…ow…”

 

“Sorry,” Justin apologised.

 

“I recently got out of a relationship too.”

 

Justin isn’t sure why, but this news surprised him. Who would willingly give up someone like Brian Kinney? Especially when he looks like he does right now, his shirt sticking to him like a second skin, hair damp and tousled. Looking like some kind of god.

 

“Oh!”

 

_Oh? Really, that’s all you can say?_

 

Brian smiled up at him affectionately, “it’s okay… I wasn’t – I wasn’t expecting it when it happened, so it sort of – threw me, you know? But if it makes you feel any better, I know how you feel.”

 

It _does_ make him feel better. That may make him feel like a dick but it also makes him feel like less of a failure.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Men, huh? Can’t live with them, can’t live without them,” Brian remarked with subtle sarcasm.

 

 _This_ was what he needed, to laugh, to smile and to realise that just because he is no longer with Ethan, life doesn’t have to come to some sort of standstill. He shouldn’t feel guilty for enjoying himself. He _won’t_ feel guilty for enjoying himself. It was obvious that Brian was going out of his way to try and make him smile and that was a whole new experience for Justin, but definitely something he could get used to.

 

Justin laughed as he continued working on Brian’s leg. “Ain’t that the truth.”

 

The two men concentrated on the exercise and stayed quiet for a minute. Brian was the one to break it after Justin began to stretch the knotted muscles in his leg. 

 

“Gus wouldn’t stop talking about you after you left the other day,” Brian told him teasingly. 

 

Justin smiled at that, “Really? What did he say?”

 

“That you were ‘one of the most funnest people’ he had ever met.”

 

Justin could feel his cheeks getting hotter by the minute, “Aw, he really said that?”

 

“He really did. “

 

“He’s really cute.”

 

“I think so too,” Brian said proudly.

 

“Sit up for me,” Justin asked, as he helped Brian up, bringing his legs over the side of the table and sitting down on a stool in front of him. “Push against my hand,” he asked, before continuing on with his previous conversation. “Do you get to see him much?” 

 

“Not as much as I like,” he admitted.

 

Justin could sense how guilty Brian’s answer was making him feel. “I’m sure you see him as much as you can.”

 

Brian nodded, “Yeah I try to. I know I need to stop working so late. He’s in bed most nights by the time I’m finished.”

 

“He’s a smart kid,” Justin told him. “He knows you love him. Trust me on that.”

 

“Thank you,” Brian smiled, his face lighting up at the praise Justin gave him. 

 

“Okay, can you stand up for me?” 

 

“Without my brace on?” Brian asked nervously. 

 

“Give me your hands.”

 

_He’ll say no, what the fuck am I doing? He doesn’t need me to hold his hands._

 

Brian stood, keeping his injured knee just off of the floor as he reached for Justin’s hands.

 

“Now try and put a little weight on it for me,” Justin asked, as he held Brian’s hands.

 

“Ah!!! Fuck me…”

 

_Gladly…WHAT?_

 

“This hurts.” Brian moaned, as his leg shook from the effort

 

“I know, I’m sorry,” Justin said as he looked at him guiltily. “It will do.”

 

“You couldn’t have maybe… warned me?” Brian laughed softly, as he breathed through the pain.

 

“Now, where’s the fun in that?” Justin laughed back, his hands gripped Brian’s tightly. 

 

“I can’t straighten my leg.”

 

“That’s normal after your type of injury. All the exercises we’re doing from now on will be working towards that.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Now you’re going to really hate me.”

 

Brian winked at him. “I don’t think so.”

 

_Fuck!_

 

“I think you may change your mind in about twenty seconds,” he teased. “I want you to try and rise up and down on your toes for me.”

 

“Ah! Okay, this one isn’t too bad.”

 

Justin squeezed his hand. “Tell me how it feels after three sets of ten.”

 

“Alright, now I’m starting to hate you… just a little,” he teased, as he continued on with the exercises, his legs trembling from the exertion. 

 

“That was really good,” Justin beamed. “You can sit down now.”

 

Brian sighed as he took a seat on the treatment table.

 

“The good news is, I spoke to your specialist this morning,” Justin told him.

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“I mentioned how you weren’t getting on with the brace. He said we could try taping your knee instead. How does that sound?”

 

“Are you serious? That sounds great – thank you.”

 

“It won’t feel as secure as the brace at first, so you might feel like it’s not giving you enough support, but it will do,” Justin explained, as he gathered together the elastic bandages and scissors. “I’ll do it for you now, and next time I’ll teach you how to do it. This will last you until you’re next in. Sound good?” Brian nodded. 

 

Justin cut the bandages to their correct length and began the process of taping up Brian’s knee. “Does this feel okay?”

 

“Yeah, it feels good.”

 

_Why do I feel so fucking nervous around him?_

 

“All done. You can call me if you have any problems – you… you have my number.”

 

Brian smirked. “I do.”

 

Justin went to stand up, but Brian stopped him.

 

“Do you want to come to Babylon tonight?”

 

“I don’t… I probably shouldn’t.”

 

“I’m not…I’m not asking you out, Justin.”

 

“I didn’t,” he stuttered, completely mortified, “think you were.”

 

“Don’t get me wrong, I want to, I _really_ do,” he admitted, causing Justin’s face to blush a deep, dark red. “But neither of us are ready for that.”

 

“Oh?…oh, uh yeah…”

 

“So, Sunshine, was that an 'oh' as in you don't want to go out or 'oh' as in you want to…eventually?”

 

_Sunshine?_

 

“The… the second one,” he said quietly.

 

Brian looked quite proud of himself as he spoke, “not now, but be ready, because it’ll happen.”

 

Justin swallowed loudly; he didn’t know what to say. Was he fucking with him? 

 

“Meet me outside Babylon at nine,” Brian told him, as he grabbed his crutches and left the room, leaving Justin standing there wondering what the hell was going on.

 

***

 

“Fuck,” Justin muttered as he went through his closet looking for something decent to wear that night. He had nothing suitable, he hadn’t been clubbing in years. It just wasn’t something Ethan was interested in. He, however, loved to shake his stuff on the dance floor. He was rather looking forward to tonight – if only he could find something to wear.

 

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and called the one person he knew that could help him.

 

“Daph, are you at home?”

 

“Hey! Yeah, I just finished work. Is everything okay?”

 

“I need you to come shopping with me.”

 

“Okaaaay.”

 

“Well, can you?”

 

“Yes, but what the hel…”

 

“I’ll be outside your apartment in five minutes,” he said and hung up.

 

Grabbing his coat and his wallet he rushed out the door and was at Daphne’s in less than three minutes, where she was already waiting outside for him.

 

“What’s all this about?” Daphne asked, as she pulled the car door open and sat down, turning the heat up in the car as she made herself comfortable.

 

“I have nothing to wear to Babylon tonight,” Justin tried to explain, his eyes focused on the road ahead of him. “Everything I own is too fucking ugly.”

 

“Slow down. What are you talking about?”

 

“Brian asked me if I wanted to go to Babylon tonight.” 

 

“Shut the fuck up! Are you serious? Way to go, Justin,” she beamed.

 

“Calm down, Daph,” he laughed. “It’s not what you think… it’s not a date. His friends will be there too.”

 

“But you like him, right?”

 

Justin sighed, “It’s not that simple, Daph.”

 

“That’s not what I asked you.”

 

“Yeah… I do. He’s great, Daph.”

 

“So, what’s the problem?”

 

He sighed again, “Firstly, he’s my patient.”

 

“That’s kinda hot,” she teased.

 

“Daph,” he gasped.

 

Daphne laughed at the shocked look on Justin’s face. “Oh come on, he is. But maybe you could see if someone else in your department could see him?” She suggested.

 

“Yeah… maybe. It’s not just that, though. We are both just coming out of a relationship.”

 

Daphne sighed.

 

“What was that for?” He asked.

 

“You think too much.”

 

Justin shook his head and laughed, “I know, but Fuck. Why am I so nervous?”

 

“Because you’ve not been on a date in what, seven years?”

 

“It’s _not_ a date, Daph.”

 

“You boys keep telling yourselves that.”

 

Justin leant across and pinched her leg, “God, you’re so annoying,” he laughed. 

 

Daphne giggled as she pulled her body away from Justin. “It’s why you love me.”

 

The pulled into the mall’s parking lot and quickly found a space.

 

“I have an outfit in mind,” Daphne told him as she exited the car in record speed.

 

“Really?” Justin asked as he grabbed his bag from the back seat.

 

“Yes, now come on.”

 

Once inside the mall it was as though Daphne was on some sort of mission, she knew exactly where she was going and what she was going there for. 

 

“Where are we going?” He asked, as she linked their arms together and weaved her way expertly through the crowds of people.

 

“Bloomingdale's,” Daphne informed him, her eyes way too bright and excited for a simple shopping trip.

 

Justin paused and gave her a stare, “We’re not going on a shopping spree. I only have a few hours. I’ll try a couple of outfits on and it will be in and out, no hassle. Got it?”

 

“Of course, of course,” Daphne told him distractedly before practically squealing over a bright yellow top on the rack.

 

“They still have stuff from their summer clearance!” Daphne exclaimed.

 

Justin let out a sigh as he pushed down his aggravation. Every fucking time.

 

***

 

Justin stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom and fixed his hair for what must have been the fifth time in the past hour.

 

His phone buzzed loudly from his nightstand, making him jump.

 

_Fuck, I need to relax_

 

**Hope you’re still on for Babylon tonight, B**

 

He can’t help the smile that takes over his face as he reads Brian’s message. 

 

 **I’m leaving in a minute. J** he replied, as he slipped on his shoes

 

He ran out into the hallway and pulled on his new leather jacket, giving himself a final once over in the small mirror by the front door, yep, he looks good.

 

The cab ride to Babylon doesn’t take long, and he noticed Brian almost immediately as he stood by the main entrance waiting for him. 

 

“Hey,” Justin called out as he walked up to Brian. “You didn’t have to wait outside. It’s freezing.”

 

“Its fine,” Brian smiled warmly, heating up the frigid air around him with his kindness. 

 

“Is everyone inside?”

 

Brian nodded his head as he pushed Justin towards the door. “Terry, he’s with me,” he told the bouncer on the door.

 

“Do you come here a lot?” Justin asked loudly so that he could be heard over the loud music that was escaping from the club’s dance floor. “You knew the guy on the door.”

 

“You could say that,” he smirked. “Do you want a drink?” he asked, as he led Justin towards the bar.

 

“Yes, please. Do they serve Samuel Adams here?”

 

“They serve pretty much everything here,” Brian told him as he ordered their beers.

 

Justin watched as Brian took the drinks from the cute guy behind the bar. “Don’t you have to pay for those?”

 

“Nope,” he winked, as he propped himself up onto a bar stool. “I’ll explain later.”

 

_He looks so fucking hot right now._

 

“What?” Brian asked curiously.

 

_Shit, I was staring at him. But I can’t help it. How can someone look so goddamn sexy, when all they’re doing is just sitting in front of me?_

 

“Nothing,” Justin blushed. “You look nice, that’s all.”

 

“Nice?”

 

_Shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud._

 

“I mean, you look really…”

 

“I’m winding you up, Justin.” Brian laughed. I know what you meant. And I have to say, you look pretty good yourself.” 

 

Justin could feel the heat rise within him at Brian’s compliment.

 

“Turn around for me,” Brian demanded.

 

“What? Why?” Justin laughed as he slowly turned around.

 

“I was just checking out how your ass looks in those jeans,” he admitted candidly. 

 

“And, what’s the verdict?” Justin asked flirtatiously. 

 

Justin knew the answer the moment he saw the large bulge appear in Brian’s pants.

 

“Not bad.”

 

Justin nodded his head, knowing full well that he looked better than ‘not bad,” and Brian knew it. 

 

“Hey, baby,” you wanna dance? Emmett asked as he ran over to them from his place on the dance floor. 

 

“Sure,” he beamed. “Are you going to be okay?” Justin asked.

 

“I think I’ll manage,” Brian laughed, as he watched Emmett pull Justin away.

 

“He’s watching you, you know?”

 

“Who?”

 

“Brian. He can’t take his eyes off of you.” 

 

Impulsively, Justin looked over his shoulder and saw that Emmett was right. Brian was over by the bar, sitting with his back to it, watching them closely. Watching _him_ closely. Justin bit his lower lip to hide the smile and the moment that Brian realised that Justin caught him was easy to see. The man looked bashful, but only for a millisecond. He then raised his eyebrows and then his bottle of beer before taking a swig and letting his lips rest on the tip for a moment longer than necessary.

 

He watched as Brian sauntered off, admiring the way his dark jeans clung to him in all the right places. 

 

They’d dance for a few songs before returning to the bar to top up their drinks, and after an hour and a half, Justin held up his hands in surrender. “I need a break,” he said breathlessly as he wobbled towards the bar. “I feel like I’m floating, “he hiccupped. 

 

“Five cosmos will do that to you,” Emmett laughed.

 

Justin nodded his head along to the music, “Have you seen Brian?”

 

“Not since he was eye fucking you earlier,” Emmett teased as he downed another drink.

 

“He was not.”

 

“Oh, honey. He really was.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“You like him, I can tell.”

 

Justin covered his eyes bashfully as he nodded his head. “Fuck, Emmett, he’s hot.”

 

Justin’s words were slurred and, for a second, he hoped in a haze that Emmett hadn’t understood him. But with the way Emmett’s eyes lit up with glee, he so did.

 

Emmett threw his head back as he laughed, “Baby, tell me something I don’t know.”

 

“Ethan wasn’t hot… he was beautiful, but he wasn’t hot,” rambled Justin, the alcohol seeming to have taken effect since they stopped dancing. 

 

“Your ex-boyfriend?” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“But, Brian…I got fucking hard just looking at him tonight,” he covered his mouth the moment the words came pouring out.

 

“I think we’ve had enough of these tonight,” Emmett grinned, as he took the drink out of Justin’s hand. 

 

“Where do you think he is?” Justin asked as he swivelled around on his bar stool.

 

“Maybe his office or in one of the booths?” Suggested Emmett, as he grabbed hold of Justin to stop him from falling off of his chair.

 

“His office? Why would he go back to Kin… Kinneti... why would he go back to work”?

 

“No,” Emmett laughed. “His office upstairs.”

 

Justin scrunched up his nose in confusion, “he works here?”

 

“Work here? Honey, he owns, Babylon.”

 

Justin stopped spinning on his chair, “really?”

 

Shit. Brian was more successful than he thought.

 

“Yeah, he’s owned it for a couple of years now,” Emmett informed him.

 

Justin looked around, “He must really like the club scene, to run a place like this. I know next to nothing.”

 

Emmett smiled knowingly, “Brian’s been the King of Babylon for years. He might not participate in the contest but that’s what he is.”

 

But then Emmett leant in, “But between you and me? Brian seemed like he was going through the motions for a while. He met someone and he seemed like he was...I don’t know, growing out of it. He does business, comes to hang with his friends. But if you are worried that you don’t know enough or that this isn't your scene 24/7, don’t be. I think he’s looking for more than all the thumpa thumpa has to offer now.”

 

Justin nodded, trying to soak in the information that Emmett was giving him before Emmett pointed over his shoulder.

 

“But right now? He seems to be looking at you. Again.”

 

Justin turned in his stool and saw Brian in a booth built into a wall, blue lights shining down on him. The man quickly looked down and Justin didn't manage to suppress his smile. 

 

“Go on and talk to him, baby. I’ll be over here sipping on my drink and checking out these delectable tops over there.”

 

Without much more than a mumble of thanks to Emmett, Justin walked over to the booth tucked into the isolated wall.

 

“Hey,” Justin grinned as he stopped in front of Brian’s booth, slipping slightly on the wet floor.

 

“Careful,” Brian warned as he reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling him onto his lap. “We can’t have you falling over now, can we?”

 

“Brian, your knee,” Justin said worriedly, as he tried to pull himself up.

 

“My knee is fine; I have a very good physio looking after me,” Brian smirked.

 

Justin blushed deeply.

 

“Did you have fun dancing with Emmett?” Brian asked, as his hand absent-mindedly stroked Justin’s leg.

 

“Hmm?” he hummed, as he rested his head comfortably against Brian’s.

 

Brian laughed as he took in Justin’s dazed expression. “You’re so buzzed.”

 

“Yeah, I feel good,” he sighed.

 

“Mmm, you do,” Brian moaned, as he wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist.

 

“That feels nice.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,” Justin breathed, as he settled himself into Brian’s arms.

 

How Justin had gone from planning to chat with Brian to sitting in his lap, he didn't know. But Brian was warm and comfortable and firm yet somehow soft. 

 

Fuck, he was perfect. 

 

And maybe if Justin were sober, he wouldn't even consider this. But fuck, he’s drunk. So drunk that he was not even worried about Ethan, rejection, or ethics when he pressed his lips against Brian’s.

 

They’re soft and pliant and their kiss was chaste and testing. He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn't be doing this. He reluctantly pulled away from Brian, prepared to apologise. But Brian laced his fingers with his in one hand and cupped his neck with another as he pulled him in for another kiss. 

 

Any hesitance Justin had in him before has now left him.

 

The kiss was searing and _hot_ , even at its tamest. Brian darted his tongue out to lick Justin’s lower lip and Justin let his lips part to let him in. Their tongues danced to a beat much slower than the one pounding to the speakers. Justin doesn't think he’s ever participated in a kiss so relaxing. He couldn't imagine anything better.

 

Until things heated up. 

 

He wasn't sure how it happened, how he found himself straddling Brian. Maybe it was when Brian teased the hem of his shirt with his fingers. Maybe it was when Justin felt Brian’s hard-on press across his ass. But he broke from the kiss just long enough to put his knees on the seat, on each side of Brian. He looked down at the older man and Brian looked up at him, eyes clouded with lust and want. Justin crushed his lips against Brian’s once more and he’s not sure how long that went on.

 

It was not until Brian was pressing hot, wet kisses against his neck and pulling him so close so that Brian’s arms completely wrapped around his back that Justin took a look in the mirror. The mirror stood above the top of the back of the seat and served as a centrepiece for the two empty squares displaying the dance floor on either side of it. If Justin were sober, he would think it was a nice decorative touch. A useful tool for all the men to glance at their reflection to make sure they look their best. 

 

But Justin wasn't sober. If he were, then he probably wouldn't be doing this in the first place.

 

He wanted to get back to what he was doing. Go back to kissing this beautiful man. Hell, maybe drag him into the back room. The moans echoing from back there were making them both horny. 

 

But all he could see was a man who just jumped into something without even thinking about the fact he broke up with the person he used to think was the love of his life, even though they both knew that wasn't the case.

 

It hurt. It really did. Because even if it was for the best, he still loved Ethan. Ethan was a good person, always had been. He had come at a time when Justin didn't know anyone else who was gay. Ethan brought him comfort, even if they weren't some match made in heaven.

 

Ethan Gold deserved better than for him to jump into a completely new relationship, not even a week out.

 

“Justin?” 

 

Justin felt Brian’s hands touching his face and tilting his head downward, causing Justin to look Brian straight in the eye.

 

“Hey,” Brian murmured, wiping a thumb underneath Justin’s left eye, “What’s wrong?”

 

Justin shook his head and looked down.

 

“I'm not ready. I...I want to be. I want this. But I'm not ready.”

 

Brian nodded, “Okay. It’s alright, Sunshine.”

 

There was that name again. Sunshine. Justin felt like anything but that, yet it did bring a tiny bit of warmth to his chest.

 

“I'm sorry,” Justin told him sincerely as he lifted his knees off of the booth and turned in Brian’s lap in an attempt to get up, “I shouldn't have done that. I'm your PT. I need to be more responsible. I need-”

 

“What you need is a friend.”

 

Justin turned his head to stare at Brian, wide-eyed and surprised, before Brian opened his arms in an embracing gesture.

 

“Come here.”

 

Justin sat there, momentarily frozen. He shouldn't, he should get up and call a cab. But fuck, Brian had been so warm and the man had his arms open, just for him. Brian had understood. Brian had offered Justin friendship until he was ready.

 

And that was what he needed.

 

So, leaning in to bury his face into the crook of Brian’s neck, Justin let himself be held. Eventually, Justin put his arms around Brian as well. He had never felt so safe.

 

They didn't let go each other for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to my amazing beta and friend, Annie-Eliza. Thank you so much for all you do for me with this story. You jump in when I am stuck (which is a lot more than I'd like to admit) and you talk through my ideas. You're the bestest!!!!
> 
> Thank you, everyone, for the amazingly positive reviews you have left. It means a lot to me, and I love hearing your thoughts and opinions on the story. Keep it up :)


	9. Chapter 9

_Brian moaned as Justin wrapped his arms around his neck, climbed onto his lap and straddled him. The thrum of the house music that played around them was drowned out by the sounds of their laboured breathing as they made out in one of the semi-private booths built into the wall of the club._

_The smell of Justin’s warm skin drove Brian wild as he buried his face into the side of his neck and he inhaled deeply. His scent was intoxicating, the combination of his natural body odour and the faint smell of his deodorant was akin to some sort of psychedelic drug and was driving Brian insane._

_He kissed his way down Justin’s neck and pulled roughly at the V of his t-shirt, exposing his collar bone._

_“You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?” Brian groaned, as he felt Justin wiggle around on his lap, his dick feeling as though it might explode from the delicious friction that Justin was creating._

_“Oh, I know,” Justin grinned cheekily, as his hand stroked Brian’s cheek._

_Their tongues tangled together as Brian’s hands teased the hem of Justin’s t-shirt, before they found their way underneath, enjoying the way Justin’s taut stomach muscles flexed beneath his fingers._

_Justin threw his head back as Brian worshiped his body. “Mmm!”_

_“Take your shirt off for me,” Brian commanded._

_Justin did as he was told and threw his t-shirt behind him._

_Brian growled. The sight of Justin’s delectable pale skin set off every nerve in his body and he felt as though he could sporadically burst into flames. He wrapped his arms around Justin tightly, crashing their lips together as he walked his fingers up his back sending a shiver down his spine._

_He bent his head and dropped wet, open mouthed kisses across Justin’s shoulders and down the middle of his chest. Justin arched into him, begging him for more. So Brian continued on down, nipping and biting at his nipples playfully._

_Brian pulled back, eliciting a whimper of protest from Justin._

_“Why did you stop?”_

_“Stand up,” Brian ordered._

_Justin remained on Brian’s lap; and whispered seductively into his ear. “Make me.”_

_Brian leant forward and captured his mouth in a hungry mouth watering kiss._

_He shivered at Brian’s words; the demanding tone of his voice was enough to make his balls ache with desire. Lifting himself out of Brian’s lap, he gasped at the sound of his zipper being lowered and the speed at which his jeans and briefs found their way onto the floor._

_Brian could feel people’s eyes on them, mesmerised by their sheer beauty and the way in which sparks were practically flying between them. Yet all he cared about was showing Justin just how much he liked him, making him feel loved, feel beautiful… and making him cum harder than he ever had in his whole freaking life._

_Brian grabbed Justin’s hips, bringing him to stand in between his legs, his own jeans now inexplicably tight. His cock pressed against his zipper as it thickened and hardened at the sight of the man in front of him._

_Leaning forward he took the tip of Justin’s cock between his lips, his tongue pressed firmly against the underside. He began to move, his neck bending slowly forward and back as he took more of Justin’s cock into his mouth._

_Justin’s hips surged forward as the pressure built up inside him, pushing more of his cock into Brian’s mouth._

_Brian couldn’t get enough, and took Justin’s entire length into his mouth, running his tongue over the shaft as he sucked hungrily. He could almost taste his release._

_His teeth scraped over Justin’s cock as his throat contracted and Justin’s hips bucked violently._

_A strangled groan escaped Justin’s mouth as his orgasm took over and he shot his load into Brian’s mouth._

_His own cock was now painfully hard as he swallowed hungrily, savouring the delicious taste of Justin in his mouth._

_As Brian stood up, Justin’s hands quickly found their way into the front of his jeans._

_“Don’t touch,” Brian warned, as he swatted his hand away._

_“Well, hurry up and put it to good use then,” Justin moaned impatiently._

_Brian grinned as he pulled down his jeans and sat back down, his dick now painfully hard and desperately craving attention._

_“Sit on my lap,” Brian breathed huskily, as he reached over and pulled out a packet of lube and a condom from his back pocket. Justin watched eagerly as Brian rolled on the condom and snapped open the lube before he generously coated the fingers of his right hand._

_Pressing firmly on Brian’s shoulders, Justin slowly straddled his lap._

_“Hey,” whispered Justin, as he ran his hands through Brian’s hair._

_“Hey yourself,” Brian replied hotly. “Lift yourself up onto your knees for me.”_

_As Justin pulled himself up onto his knees, Brian ran the tip of his index finger down Justin’s ass crack and traced his hole lightly. Justin threw his head back as he hummed in delight at the sensations flowing through him._

_“Brian, please,” he begged._

_“What? What do you want?”_

_“Please.”_

_“Is this what you wanted?” Brian whispered. He concentrated on Justin’s face as he watched him breathe out deeply as he pushed his finger inside until his knuckle touched his delicate hole._

_“Yes,” panted Justin. “Add another one, please.”_

_Brian groaned as he wiggled his finger, enjoying the sounds it brought out of Justin._

_“You like feeling my fingers inside of you?”_

_“Fuck, yes,” Justin swallowed loudly. “Add another one, please.”_

_Brian complied, and pushed in a second finger, stretching the tight muscles that surrounded his fingers. He pulled back slightly before he pushed them both back in as deep as they could go._

_“You’re so fucking warm,” Brian sighed, as he twisted his fingers, bending them slightly so he could tease Justin’s prostate._

_“Fuckkkk!”_

_Brian brought his fingers back out before he added a third. He pushed until they were in as deep as they could go, twisting back and forth as he pushed them in and out._

_“Oh fuck, Brian. I need… I need to feel you inside of me. Please!”_

_That’s all it took for Brian to pull his fingers out, drawing a deep guttural groan from Justin._

_“Hurry up.”_

_Brian teased Justin’s ass cheeks apart and squeezed them roughly in his hands._

_“I want you to ride me.”_

_Justin looked down at him, as he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “Yeah?”_

_“Sit on me, Justin,” Brian all but begged, as he desperately fisted his cock, his hand worked overtime as it moved up and down._

_Brian grabbed Justin’s hips and tugged him towards him until their bodies were almost touching. Justin looked down as Brian aligned himself and watched in awe as he lowered himself onto Brian’s dick._

_“Mmm! Look how much your body wanted this,” panted Brian, as Justin’s body accepted him so easily._

_Justin’s eye’s closed as Brian entered him, and he couldn’t stop the rough moan from escaping his lips._

_“Oh, fuck, yes,” Brian groaned. “Ride me.”_

_Justin gasped as Brian grabbed at his waist and began effortlessly lifting him up and down, raising his own hips at the same time so he could enter him harder, and deeper than before._

_“Ah, ah, oh, God. Ah,” Justin panted in time with Brian’s movements._

_Brian worked his hips harder and faster and their bodies slapped together noisily. The wonderful sound of skin on skin spurred Brian to pound into Justin._

_“Look in the mirror behind you,” Brian said hoarsely. “Can you see how hot you look like this?”_

_Justin nodded his head. His face covered in sweat and his eyes threatened to roll back from the intense pleasure he was being subjected to._

_“Don’t even think about closing your eyes, Sunshine. I want you to watch me cum inside of you.”_

_“Fuck, Brian. Oh fuck.”_

_Brian’s words triggered something inside of him, and he came – long and hard, coating Brian’s hands as they helped coax his orgasm out of him._

_“Holy fucking shit…”_

_Brian hissed, as his thrusts became more erratic and the angle at which he hit Justin’s prostate changed. “Yesss,” were the only words he could muster as his own intense climax overtook him, making him stiffen and push up roughly into Justin as he shot his load into the condom._

_Justin breathed heavily as he lifted his hips and let Brian slip out of him. The young man smiled, kissed Brian on the lips, and held onto him. Brian pressed kisses against his collarbone before letting them both fall back into the seat._

_“Fuck,” Brian mumbled, his breathing erratic, “That was…”_

_“Amazing?” Justin guessed with a smirk._

_“Fantastic,” Brian confirmed._

_Justin grinned, eyes bright and happy. Brian bit his lip and leaned in for another kiss, sweeter this time. Softer._

_But Justin seemed to have other plans._

_Brian groaned as Justin flipped him onto his back, with an amount of strength that he hadn’t expected from the blonde. Justin grinded his hips against his, making both of their cocks slowly grow hard again, and bent down to trace Brian’s lips with his tongue._

_“Justin, fuck…” Brian gasped as he sought out more friction._

_“Ready for round two?” Justin asked, whispering against his ear._

_“Fuck yeah,” Brian sighed, “Let me get another cond-”_

_“I have one,” Justin interrupted, pulling the packet into view._

_Brian glanced around, “Where did you get that?”_

_Justin shrugged, “Found it in the booth.”_

_Brian rolled his eyes before they rolled up in his head in ecstasy as Justin put his lips around his cock and started to suck._

_“Fuck...Justin,” Brian panted, “Put it on me. Wanna fuck you again.”_

_Justin slowly raised his head and Brian looked down in anticipation. Justin slowly smiled, lay over Brian’s torso and stared him right in the eye._

_“No,” Justin told him in a soft voice._

_Brian looked up in confusion. “No?”_

_“Now it’s your turn,” he breathed out the words as he peppered Brian’s cheeks in kisses._

_Brian gazed at him, his head feeling hazy, but fuck, he actually wanted it. As Brian nodded his head slowly, Justin gave him another kiss, pressed his fingers against the older man’s hole, and started to work him open._

_This hadn’t happened in years. Fuck, Brian knew he should be freaking out right now._

_But he wasn’t._

_Because when Justin pressed into him, slowly and painlessly, Brian didn’t feel uncertain or embarrassed. He didn’t pay attention to the other people staring at them in the club. He focused on Justin._

_Because the more he focused on Justin, the more he knew he was safe. And the safer he felt, the greater the pleasure was._

 

Brian let out a loud, throaty groan as his eyes fluttered open into the harshest reality he could think of - one where he wasn’t getting fucked in the ass by Justin Taylor.

 

He rubbed his eyes, maybe subconsciously hoping that what he’d just experienced wasn’t a dream, and was, in fact, quite real – it fucking felt like it was, anyway.

 

“Fuck.” His heart was hammering loudly in his chest and his breathing was laboured as though he’d just run a marathon.

 

Brian groaned when he brought his hand up to rest on his stomach and his fingers slid through the wet and sticky cum that now coated his skin.

 

It wasn’t unusual for him to wake up in the mornings with a raging hard on, nor was it that strange for him to bring himself to orgasm in his sleep; he would often wake with his dick in his hand, stroking himself to climax, but he always woke up knowing what was real and what wasn’t. But he had no fucking clue what was going on when he woke up this morning. Thinking about it now, he definitely remembered making out with Justin in a booth last night at Babylon like some fucking love sick teenager … that explains the dream then.

 

***

 

Justin removed the lid from his steaming cup of soup and began tearing up a bread roll when his office phone rang, making him jump. No one usually called him during his lunch break.

 

“Hello,” he answered. “Yeah, that’s no problem, Kathy. Just send him in.”

 

“Hey, is everything okay?” Justin asked as he wiped at his mouth.

 

“Oh, yeah, everything’s fine,” Brian said, as he hobbled into Justin’s room and made himself comfortable. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your lunch...”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” smiled Justin. “It’s just some shitty soup from the canteen. I forgot to bring my lunch with me this morning.”

 

Brian opened his backpack, pulled out a white paper bag and waved it in Justin’s direction. “Ah ha, then maybe I could interest you in a lemon bar?”

 

“Please,” laughed Justin as he reached into the bag and pulled out a Christmas tree shaped lemon bar, “this soup tastes like ass… dirty old man ass.”

 

Brian grimaced. “Thanks for putting that image into my head,” he groaned, as he reached in and took a lemon bar for himself.

 

“What did you get?” Justin asked.

 

Brian looked at the lemon bar in his hand and laughed. “I think it’s supposed to be a Christmas stocking.”

 

“It looks more like a…”

 

“Cock.” They both said at the same time.

 

“It really does,” laughed Brian, as he took a huge bite.

 

Justin made a face. “Ow.”

 

“I promise I’m gentler with the real deal,” he smirked, as he shoved the rest of the phallic shaped cake into his mouth.

 

Justin laughed until he started to cough. He reached for his drink and gulped it down quickly.

 

Brian stood up, but Justin waved him back down. “You okay?” Brian asked.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Justin told him. “You made me laugh while I was eating, that’s all.”

 

That made Brian happy, he liked the fact he could make Justin laugh like that. Fuck, he was turning into a dyke.

 

Justin sat on the stool in front of Brian and touched his knee gently. “So, not that I don’t appreciate you bringing me cake, but I didn’t think our appointment was until tomorrow. Is your leg okay?”

 

“Oh, yeah, my leg is fine,” Brian explained. “I just wanted to… after last night,” he stammered,” I just wanted to make sure we were okay.”

 

Justin lifted Brian’s pant leg up and peeled off the sports tape securing his injured knee.

 

“What are you doing?” Brian asked. “I said my knee was fine.”

 

Justin smiled up at him. “I know you did, but you’re here, so I might as well take a look.”

 

Brian watched as Justin ran his fingers around his knee joint, and began moving his leg very gently forwards and back.

 

“So, are we… okay?”

 

Brian hated that he sounded so nervous. He wasn’t an anxious person – at all, but he didn’t want what happened between them last night to fuck things up.

 

Justin was quiet for a moment while he continued working on Brian’s leg. “Yes, we’re okay,” he smiled warmly. “But, I was thinking... maybe I should pass you over to one of my colleagues from now on.”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Brian asked, as he pushed Justin’s hands away. 

 

“I just think after last night…”

 

“You said we were okay,” he huffed.

 

“Look at me, please?” asked Justin, as he nudged Brian with his foot. “We _are_ okay.”

 

“So why do you want to hand me over to someone else if we’re okay? You can’t avoid me forever, Justin.”

 

Justin grabbed Brian’s hand to keep him from fidgeting. “I’m not suggesting this because I want to avoid you.”

 

“It sure sounds like it.”

 

“Will you let me finish.”

 

Brian nodded.

 

“I’m _not_ doing this to avoid you; but after what happened last night, I think it would be unethical for me to keep treating you.”

 

Brian pushed the nerves down and smirked, “Well, I won’t tell if you won’t.”

 

Justin chuckled as he continued his examination, “Brian, I’m being serious.”

 

Brian shrugged, “Well, I’m being serious when I say that I won’t behave for any other Physiotherapist. Every medical professional I have ever had can’t stand me. Talk to my old pediatrician. I pissed on her during my first check up and made every appointment hell until I turned thirteen.” 

 

“So you are going to piss on any Physiotherapist I hand you over to?” Justin asked with a raised brow.

 

“You never know.”

 

Justin sighed and gently set Brian’s leg down.

 

“I...It’s not that I want to lose you as a patient. Hell, I look forward to you walking through those doors each week. But it’s unethical. I took an oath. These...these feelings we have aren’t meant to be mixed with what’s going on here-”

 

“I told you I would wait,” Brian interrupted as he stood up and grabbed his crutch, “I will wait until you are ready. I’ll wait until you are hurting less. And if you want to wait until my final appointment with you, then that’s the way it’s going to be.”

 

Justin quickly followed Brian to the door, blocking him from leaving. “Do you mean that?”

 

“Yes, I meant it,” Brian told him.

 

Justin smiles, “And you’re sure you won’t get...you know, tired of that?”

 

“I won’t,” Brian assured him, “And I know I don’t need to ask the same. I mean, look at me.”

 

“A bit cocky, aren’t you?” Justin snorts.

 

“You might as well know now,” Brian smirked.

 

Justin felt the grin grow on his face and this feeling, something akin to tenderness, filled his heart. And due to that, he softly kissed Brian on the lips without even thinking about it. 

 

“You’re a good friend,” Justin whispered softly, “Thank you.”

 

While he’s only known this man for a short time, even he is surprised that he made Brian Kinney become at loss for words.

 

It’s okay, though. Just one look and Justin knew they were on the same page.

 

***

 

Brian stretched, lifting his good arm above his head as he yawned tiredly. He looked at the time and saw he had ten minutes before he needed to get up and get ready for work. He unplugged his phone from the charger beside his bed and began scrolling through his messages. Happy that he’d not slept through any work emergencies or family dramas, he felt like he could relax a little before taking a shower. He closed his eyes briefly before he went back to his phone and opened up a new message.

 

**Morning.**

 

He read the message over and over a couple of times before he clicked send. It was just _one_ fucking word, so why was he making it more complicated than it needed to be?

 

Before he had the chance to think about it too much, his phone buzzed with a reply.

 

**Good morning =)**

 

He could see the grin spreading across his face in the full length mirror opposite his bed and he had to look away. This may be the only time in his adult life that he ever regretted putting it there.

 

His phone beeped again.

 

**Have a good day at work =)**

 

He didn’t think he’d ever thought so hard about what to write in a text message before. This was pathetic. Now he wasn’t sure if he should reply, especially after their conversation yesterday, Should they even be texting each other? He didn’t want Justin to think he was pushing him in any way, but he couldn’t help himself. They weren’t seeing each other until tomorrow, and he…he missed him.

 

_Shit!_

 

Screw it, he’d text him already anyway, so there was no harm in responding to his reply, it would look rude not to. Right?

 

**I’d say you too. But you’re not seeing me until tomorrow…**

 

Was that too much? Would Justin think he was flirting with him? He _was_ flirting, but it didn’t mean anything. Well, it did, but… fuck, it shouldn’t be this hard.

 

He closed his eyes as his finger hovered over the send button, pressing it quickly before putting his phone back on his nightstand. 

 

He can’t take it back now.

 

Looking at the clock Brian decided he might as well get up. He’d just swung his legs out of bed when his phone vibrated across his nightstand with a new message.

 

**Cocky, aren’t you? ;)**

 

Brian laughed smugly as he read Justin’s message. He really needed to get moving as he had an important meeting to prepare for, but he was having too much fun talking to Justin to care.

 

**Oh, you have no idea how cocky I can be.**

 

Did he really just say that?

 

**Believe me, I think I do ;)**

 

Brian chuckled at Justin’s reply. Of course, he knew what he was like. They may not have known each other for very long, but Brian already felt as though Justin knew him better than most, which says a lot about the people he surrounds himself with.

 

**Ha. Later.**

 

He knew if he didn’t jump in the shower now, he’d be late for work. So he set his phone down and made his way towards the bathroom. The entire time he was brushing his teeth, he couldn’t seem to wipe the ridiculously blissful smile off of his face. He showered, shaved and got dressed all before checking his phone again.

 

**Later ;)**

 

***

 

“What the fuck?” Brian jumped when he saw Emmett sitting on one of the chairs in the loft’s lobby waiting for him. He had a bag of shopping at his feet, filled to the brim with fresh ingredients and a bottle of wine. 

 

“Surprise!”

 

“How the hell did you get in here?” Brian asked curiously.

 

“It’s nice to see you too, Brian.”

 

Brian rubbed at his eyes. “It’s just been a long day. Seriously though, how did you get in here?”

 

“A delicious bearded gentleman let me in when I told him I was here to surprise you.”

 

“That’ll be Steve.”

 

“I didn’t find out his name. Just that he had the most beautiful green eyes and his jeans fit him like a glove.”

 

Brian rolled his eyes at his friend as he attempted to lift the elevator gate with his crutch.

 

Emmett pushed Brian’s crutch away, pulled up the grate and extended his arm, “Voila! “

 

Brian smiled warmly at his friend.

 

“I thought I’d make us dinner,” explained Emmett, as he followed his friend in and pressed the button for Brian’s floor.

 

“What are we having?” Brian asked tiredly, as he leaned heavily against the wall of the elevator. 

 

“Ah, tonight, Monsieur, we will be ‘avin grilled saumon, with a tastee avocado and cucumba salad,” Emmett replied in quite possibly the world’s worst French accent. 

 

Brian nodded. Well, there goes his quiet evening in… Although he couldn’t complain too much, Emmett was a fantastic cook, and it sure beat eating Thai for the third time that week.

 

“So go get changed, baby, while I get dinner ready,” Emmett smiled as he began unloading the groceries.

 

Brian did as he was told, and made his way up to his bedroom. He threw on a pair of faded light blue jeans and a black wife beater. He’d have a shower later tonight; just the thought of having one now exhausted him. 

 

He made his way back to the kitchen and took a seat at the breakfast bar, watching as Emmett ooh and ahhed over his designer pots and pans.

 

“I have cast iron skillet envy,” sighed Emmett dramatically as he began preparing their dinner.

 

Brian laughed at the look on his friend’s face when he eyed the skillet. Emmett’s tongue was practically hanging out of his mouth.

 

“So, how was work?” Emmett asked, as he poured some brown sugar and soy sauce into a small bowl, and mixed them together.

 

“Exhausting. We have taken on three large new accounts this week.”

 

Emmett beamed proudly at his friend. “That’s really great, baby.”

 

Brian smirked, “yeah, well, what did you expect?”

 

“Only the best, of course,” laughed Emmett.

 

Brian pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked his messages.

 

_Nothing._

 

“So,” started Emmett, “did you have a good time at Babylon last night?”

 

Brian looked up from his phone, “Hmm?”

 

Emmett tilted his head with a knowing smile, “Don’t play coy...you know what I’m talking about.”

 

“I really don’t.”

 

_He’s bluffing…_

 

“Mmhmm,” Emmett teased, as he coated the salmon in the marinade he’d just made. “I saw you two smooching it up in one of the booths. “

 

_Oh shit!_

 

Brian cleared his throat nervously.“It was nothing.”

 

That was a lie, but he wasn’t going to tell Emmett that. 

 

Keeping his eyes on the salmon he was grilling, Emmett said, “It didn’t look like nothing.”

 

Brian looked away and stayed silent, hoping Emmett would lay off.

 

“What are you looking for?” Brian asked, a little harshly, “Gossip?”

 

Emmett blinked, “Brian, no. I thought...I thought we were on closer terms now. You should know I wouldn’t talk about anything you didn’t want spread around.”

 

Brian sighed and felt a little guilty over his remark. Emmett was a good friend.

 

“I know you wouldn’t.”

 

“It’s just,” Emmett reaches for the bottle of wine and pours them both a glass before continuing. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

Brian took the glass from Emmett and swirled it around under his nose, before taking a sip. “This is nice,” he tells his friend.

 

“Pinot Noir is the perfect accompaniment to salmon,” explained Emmett. 

 

They were silent for a minute while they drank their wine; the only sound coming from the kitchen was Emmett as he made his own salad dressing.

 

“It’s just… it wasn’t that long ago you were with Adam.”

 

“I know that,” Brian responded tensely. 

 

“I know you do.” Emmett smiled sincerely, “I just want you to be careful, okay? Guard that beautiful heart of yours.”

 

Brian rolled his eyes before he put his drink down and ran his hands nervously through his hair. “I really like him.”

 

Emmett plated up their dinner and wiped his hands on his apron before taking their food to the table. “Yeah?”

 

“But nothing is going to happen between us,” he explained, “not for the moment anyway.”

 

“And who decided that?” Emmett asked curiously, as he took a seat at the table across from Brian.

 

“We both did.”

 

Emmett nodded, “That’s great, baby. You need time to get over Adam.”

 

“I know,” he breathed. “Neither of us are in the right place to start up something new right now. He just got out of a long term relationship.”

 

Emmett ate a few mouthfuls before he asked, “But you both want something to happen - eventually? 

 

“Yes,” Brian nodded enthusiastically, as a huge smile spread across his face. 

 

It's strange to think he’s sitting here eating dinner with Emmett and is able to talk so candidly about his feelings. The Brian of yesteryear would have laughed in his face if someone had mentioned that this would ever be happening. But he’s changed. He’s grown up. And it's not quite as scary as he thought it would be. 

 

“I assumed so,” Emmett laughed freely as he topped their glasses up with more wine. ”You both seemed to be enjoying yourselves when I saw the two of you smooching and loving on each other at Babylon last night.”

 

Brian smirked, “Oh, we were.”

 

Emmett beamed at his friend; Brian’s happiness was so wonderfully contagious that they both ended up smiling at one another as they ate the remainder of their meal in silence.

 

“I don’t know what it is about him,” Brian said truthfully, as he finished off his second… or was it his third glass of wine, and poured himself another. “He has the bluest eyes; they’re like… the sky on a clear day.”

 

_What the fuck? Where did that come from?_

 

Emmett threw his hand up to his chest dramatically, “Oh my...Brian, that’s just so beautiful.”

 

“And don’t get me started on his ass. It’s probably the most fucking delicious ass I have seen – and I haven’t even seen it.”

 

Brian pushed the bottle of wine away from him; yep, he’d definitely had enough to drink for the evening – he shouldn’t have been drinking anyway as he was still on a high dose of pain medication for his knee. 

 

“Yeah, you definitely don’t need more of that,” Emmett agreed as he takes the bottle and takes it over to the counter, along with their empty plates. 

 

Brian said nothing as he lazily watched Emmett rinse off their dishes in the kitchen sink. Emmett caught his eye and turned off the faucet as soon as the last dish was washed. Then he walked over and put a hand on Brian’s shoulder.

 

“I’m glad you are doing better,” Emmett murmured, “I’ve...I’ve been worried about you.”

 

Brian swallowed before putting a smirk in place, “I’m fine. I always have been.”

 

“Don’t back-pedal after our conversation,” Emmett warned as he patted him on the cheek before sighing romantically, “I know that scrumptious PT has caught your eye. I’m glad that you’re taking time to figure things out and heal though. I really am. It’s...it's awfully mature of you. Lord knows I’ll hand over my heart and my ass for any cute face. But one day I know that I will meet my prince and-”

 

“Don’t you need to get going?” Brian asked pointedly as he stood up, wobbling on his already unsteady feet. Emmett held on to his shoulders, steadying him. 

 

“Fine, fine. I know when I’m not wanted,” Emmett grumbled before directing him towards the sofa, “Now, just park your cute little ass down and get some rest. Watch a movie or something, maybe one of those adorable little Westerns you pretend not to love so much.”

 

Brian scoffed as he made himself comfortable on the sofa, resting his head on a pillow.

 

“So, what will it be?” Emmett asked as he rummaged through Brian’s vast DVD collection. “Jesus, do you own every single Marlon Brando movie there is?”

 

“I may.”

 

“Why the hell do you own two copies of some of these?”

 

“Some of them are imported copies,” Brian told him sheepishly. 

 

Emmett rolled his eyes teasingly. “How about this one?” He asked, waving a copy of ‘On the Waterfront,’ at Brian. 

 

Brian laughed as he signalled Emmett to put the DVD on. “You don’t understand. I coulda had class.” *

 

“Excuse me?” Emmett looked puzzled. 

 

“I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody.” *

 

“How much wine did you actually drink?” Emmett laughed, watching his friend quote a line from his favourite movie.

 

“Instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it. It was you, Charley.” *

 

“Right, okay… and on that note. I’m going to go,” Emmett told him, dropping a kiss on his forehead. 

 

Brian looked up from the screen. “Can you grab me the bag of popcorn from the cupboard before you go?”

 

“Is there anything else I can get you, sir?” Emmett teased, as he ran into the kitchen to grab Brian’s snack of choice.

 

“Thanks,” Brian said as he took the popcorn from Emmett without even looking at him. “He’s so beautiful.”

 

“Who? Justin?”

 

“No, Marlon. Marlon is beautiful. Justin is… beautifuller.”

 

Emmett giggled; he clearly enjoyed seeing his friend so buzzed from the wine. It was a rare occurrence for Brian to be so laid back and relaxed, it was nice. “That’s it. I’m definitely going now. Do you have everything you need?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you have everything you need?” Emmett repeated, as he went and got a bottle of water from the fridge and put it on the floor next to the sofa.

 

“Oh, yeah. I’m good. You can go now,” Brian told him, his eyes remained focused on the screen in front of him.

 

“I can leave now? Oh, thank goodness for that,” he joked. “Don’t have any more wine.”

 

Brian waved him off and then tore into the jumbo bag of salted popcorn that he kept hidden away at the back of the cupboard for emergencies like these. Marlon Brando movies always seemed to give him the munchies… or maybe it was the wine… or the prescription medication, or the combination of all three?

 

He sat watching the movie, reciting the lines alongside his favourite characters like he always did before his mind suddenly switched to Justin. Why, he has no idea, but he doesn’t care. That boy could infiltrate his thoughts all night for all he cares.

 

Brian reached for his phone; the need to talk to Justin suddenly having overwhelmed him. He had no idea what he was going to say to him until his fingers typed out the message and clicked send.

 

**I’m watching a moviee**

 

He went back to the film in front of him and to mentally undressing Brando. That man had the face of an angel and the body of a God. If he saw him in Babylon there would be no denying that he would have been all over him. But if he was presented with Brando AND Justin at the same time, he knew the blond would win, hands down. How much fucking wine _did_ he drink?

 

His phone lit up with Justin’s reply.

 

**What are you watching? =)**

 

He smiled as he typed back.

 

**On the Waterfront. Brando is HOT. A definite 9.5 on the hotness scale.**

 

He paused the movie so he could read Justin’s reply, suddenly having reached the point of the evening where he found it difficult to do two things at once.

 

**Just a 9.5???? Do you need glasses? LOL ;)**

 

Brian couldn’t help the grin that overtook his face. Was it possible for his face to actually hurt from smiling? Maybe his smile muscles just weren’t used to being worked so much. Was he actually thinking about this?

 

**Well, he WAS a 10. But I met someone hotter.**

 

**haha, you’re drunk.**

 

**I may be slightly intoxicated but I know my eyes. They do not lie.**

 

Justin’s response wasn’t immediate like the ones before have been. For a second, Brian’s buzzed brain thought he may be coming on too strongly again. He probably has been. He told Justin, fuck, he told himself, that he would take his time and wait. Wait for Justin, wait until he gets over fucking Adam…

 

But when his phone pings once more, those thoughts leave.

 

**Well, I met someone who is an 11.**

 

Brian felt the grin form once more before getting a little cocky again. And they just kept talking. His popcorn sat next to him forgotten and his movie on pause as he and Justin went on and on, flirting but also talking about the things they enjoyed. Movies, music, hobbies. Fuck, he was pretty sure he’s never had an extensive conversation about what he enjoyed outside of his sex life...ever.

 

It was nice. He liked talking to Justin. And, while it may be hard to keep his hands off of him, being friends with him was going to be better than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, huge thanks to my amazing beta, Annie-Eliza. She really is the best and I am so grateful for all your help with this and for getting my ass in gear to get this chapter finished.
> 
> * Quote from 'On the Waterfront'
> 
> As always, please review and let me know what you think :)


	10. Chapter 10

“Linz, it’s not _that_ cold out,” Brian laughed, as he watched his friend bundle up their little boy in his warmest of winter coats. “We’re going to be inside for most of the day anyway.”

 

“Then you can take off what he doesn’t need,” Linz pointed out tiredly. “I just don’t want him catching another cold.”

 

Brian nodded. He wasn’t going to argue with her on that. “Okay.”

 

Gus looked up at him with a huge smile on his face; his woolly hat had slipped down his forehead and had begun to cover his eyes.

 

“I’m so excited, Daddy,” Gus bounced, anticipation radiated from his little body as he waited by the front door, ready and raring to go.

 

“Me too, Sonny Boy.”

 

“And you’re sure you’re going to be okay with him on your own while you’re on crutches?” Lindsay asked apprehensively.

 

Brian rolled his eyes. “We’ll be fine, won’t we, Gus?”

 

Gus nodded enthusiastically.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

Brian had a cab waiting for them outside; he held the door open for Gus and climbed in after him.

 

“Where to?” The cab driver asked.

 

“Color Me Mine, it’s on Forbes Avenue.”

 

The cab driver nodded as he started the engine back up.

 

“Is that okay with you, Sonny Boy?”

 

Gus leaned his head against his daddy’s shoulder, rubbing his nose against the soft scarf around Brian’s neck. Giggling softly as it tickled his nostrils. “I don’t mind what we do, Daddy.”

 

“Oh, is that so. How about we scrap that idea then and you can help me do my taxes. You like math, right?”

 

“Daddy!” Gus squealed, horrified at the thought of spending the day doing sums instead of doing all the fun things they had planned. “You’re joking, aren’t you, Daddy?”

 

Brian kissed his son’s head and chuckled at the look of uncertainty on his little face. “Yes, I’m only teasing you.”

 

Gus snuggled in closer. “Good.”

 

Just then, Brian’s phone rang.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey, Brian, it’s Justin.”

 

Brian smiled. “I know it’s you Justin.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Is that, Justin”? Gus asked excitedly.

 

Brian nodded and held his finger up to his lips.

 

“Is everything okay?” Brian asked as he ruffled Gus’s hair.

 

“Everything is fine. I was just wondering if we could move tomorrow’s appointment an hour. Have you come in at two, instead of one?”

 

“That’s fine, Sunshine.”

 

_Shit, he didn’t mean for that to slip out._

 

“Sunshine?” Gus asked curiously. “Why do you call him that, Daddy?” He asked, not even waiting for an answer before be began talking again. “ Can I speak to Justin? Can I say hi?”

 

“You can put him on,” Justin laughed. “I’d love to say hi.”

 

Brian handed Gus his phone. “Be quick, we’re almost there.”

 

Gus took the phone and began talking a mile a minute. “Hi Justin, guess what? I’m spending the whole day with my Daddy. What are you doing today?”

 

“Hey, Gus.”

 

Brian could hear Justin’s side of the conversation, and loved how genuinely happy he sounded to be talking to his son. He also noticed how his voice changed when he spoke to Gus. How it softened slightly and he laughed more. 

 

“I have the day off work. So I’ll probably end up doing do my laundry or something,” he chuckled. “It sounds like you’re going to have more fun than me though.”

 

“I know!” Gus exclaimed excitedly.

 

_Oh no… he’s not going to, is he?_

 

“You should come and play with me and Daddy. We’d like that, wouldn’t we, Daddy?”

 

Brian could hear Justin laughing hysterically on the other end of the line.

 

“Give me that,” Brian said, taking the phone from Gus.

 

“Hey, it’s me.”

 

“So, I guess he got bored of waiting for you to ask me out, and decided to just do it himself?” 

 

"Well, I would have, but SOMEONE insisted on a pesky friendship first."

 

“Yeah, you,” Justin teased. 

 

Brian sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “Technically yes, I said it, but -”

 

Justin laughed. “Ever the gentleman.”

 

“Daddy, what are you two talking about? Is Justin coming to play with us or not?”

 

“I can… if you want me to?” Justin asked shyly. “But if you’d rather spend the day with just Gus, then I’d completely understand.”

 

“Daddy, is he coming?” Gus urged, pulling at Brian’s coat.

 

“We’ll be at Color Me Mine,” Brian informed Justin, “It’s on Forbes Avenue. You’re more than welcome to join us.”

 

“I’d love to,” Justin told him sweetly.

 

“YES!” Gus jumped up and down excitedly in his seat. 

 

“We’ll see you soon,” Brian said, as he finished the call, tucking the phone back into his pocket.

 

“We’re going to have _so_ much fun together, aren’t we, Daddy?” Gus exclaimed happily as he wrapped his arm around Brian’s waist.

 

Brian tickled Gus’s sides, loving the sound of his son laughing in his arms. “We really are.”

 

***

 

“What do you want to paint, Sonny boy?” Brian asked, as he took a seat at one of the tiny kid’s tables at the back of the painting studio. His long legs stretched out at an angle beside him, having been too tall to fit comfortably underneath. 

 

Gus chewed on his bottom lip as he looked around the room. There were so many different things to choose from. “Urrrrrrm. I think I want to paint a mug.”

 

“A mug? Okay, that we can do.”

 

“For you to drink your coffee out of at work,” Gus explained. 

 

Brian smiled, “Thanks, kiddo.”

 

“What about you? What are you going to paint, Daddy?” Brian hadn’t really thought about that. He just assumed he’d sit quietly and watch Gus, but when he looked around, he saw all the other adults painting their own masterpieces. 

 

“What do you have for breakfast? Brian asked.

 

Gus looked up at him with a confused expression on his face, “cereal.”

 

“Then I’m going to paint you a bowl,” he decided. 

 

As soon as the lady from Color Me Mine left them alone with their instructions, they got to work.

 

Gus sat there quietly with his tongue caught between his teeth as he looked over at all the colours laid out in front of him. “I’m going to paint it black,” he muttered, more to himself. “Because black is your favourite colour.”

 

“Why do you think black is my favourite colour?” Brian asked.

 

“Because you wear it all the time,” Gus explained as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

 

Brian looked down at what he was wearing and his shoulders shook as he laughed, his kid was spot on.

 

“You’re right, black is one of my favourite colours, I love blue too.”

 

And as Gus ran to get the blue paint, Brian realised that there had been no sentimental feelings over the color blue until he stared into Justin's eyes.

 

Bringing the blue and black paint to sit in front of him, Gus looked up at him. “What are you going to paint for me, Daddy?”

 

“I was thinking about painting a soccer ball, how does that sound?”

 

Gus nodded excitedly, “That would be so awesome.”

 

Brian laughed, everything was awesome lately according to his son.

 

They sat side by side with the same look of concentration on their faces as they started work on their masterpieces. 

 

In the corner of his eye, Brian could see Gus going to town on his mug. He switched between two different paintbrushes – one thin and one thick, and then alternated between the black and blue paints, forming a mysterious looking rainbow pattern. 

 

“Daddy, you’re a very good painter,” Gus exclaimed when he saw the soccer ball that was beginning to take shape inside his bowl.

 

They were both almost done by the time Justin joined them.

 

“Hey,” he said as he took a seat across from Brian and laughed at the way the older man looked so uncomfortable on the small wooden chair. He grinned as he slid his much shorter legs under the table and made himself comfy.

 

Gus looked up and thrust his mug towards Justin. “Look what I made Daddy,” he said proudly. “It’s so he can drink his coffee at work and think of me.”

 

Brian tried not to melt at Gus’s words.

 

“Aww, that’s really great, Gus,” Justin beamed proudly. “And you used black, that’s your dad’s favourite colour, right?”

 

“How do you know what my favourite colour is?”

 

“It’s all you ever wear,” Justin explained, as his eyes roamed over Brian’s body.

 

“And what did you paint?” Justin asked him.

 

“He painted me a soccer ball bowl.”

 

“That’s really great too,” Justin teased him, using the same tone of voice he used with Gus.

 

Brian scrunched up his nose and rolled his eyes mockingly at Justin. “Haha.”

 

“I meant it,” Justin said honestly. 

 

The lady running the studio made her way over to their table after noticing Justin had joined them.

 

“Are you boys finished with your first project?” she asked Gus.  
The little boy pushed his mug and Brian’s bowl towards her. “Yep.”

 

“Then I’ll take these for you,” she said helpfully. “They’ll be ready to collect in a week. Will you be doing a second project today?”

 

Gus nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, you want to paint something too, don’t you, Justin?”

 

“Definitely,” Justin said grinning at the excitable little boy in front of him. “Do you have any suggestions?”

 

“Oooh, I have an idea,” Gus told them eagerly. “We should make something for each other. I want to paint something for Justin. Daddy, you have to paint something for me, and Justin you have to paint something for Daddy, okay?”

 

“Gus, maybe you should ask if that’s what Justin would like to do?” Brian told him. “He may have wanted to paint something for himself.”

 

“I don’t mind,” smiled Justin.

 

There was little room to argue, as Gus had already begun to pick out what they’d be painting. 

 

“Hmm. I think I’m going to paint a plate for Justin. Daddy, you can paint this for me,” he said, as he pointed to a little egg cup, “and Justin, you can paint… you can paint this for Daddy.”

 

“A turtle?” Justin laughed, as he was handed the tiny porcelain creature.

 

Gus looked at him seriously. “Yes. It’s beautiful, don’t you think?

 

“It’s very cute,” chuckled Justin.

 

As soon as they were given their new items to paint, they each got to work.

 

“Daddy, you can’t look at what I’m painting until I'm finished, okay?” Gus said as he turned his back on both Brian and Justin.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise,” Brian swore affectionately. 

 

Brian’s piece was the smallest and he was done after only a couple of minutes, having decided to paint the entire thing blue. He then sat and watched as Justin began attaching painter's tape randomly across the turtle’s shell.

 

“What are you doing?” Brian asked inquisitively. 

 

Justin looked up and grinned. “I’m going to see if I can dip dye the shell in different shades of green,” he explained, as he started mixing colours together.

 

“Wow, that’s really impressive.”

 

“Not really,” Justin smiled bashfully. “It’s what I was originally going to go to school for.”

 

Brian rested his chin on his hand and watched as Justin took the smallest brush there was, and started painting.

 

“What made you change your mind?”

 

Justin shrugged his shoulders as he continued what he was doing, mixing colours together and making the shell look eerily lifelike. “I just decided it wasn’t for me.” 

 

Brian nodded, there was something about the way Justin had answered that made him think that there was more to the story. That he hadn’t decided it just wasn’t for him, that it was possibly decided for him...Maybe he was imagining things, but something inside of him told him he wasn’t. 

 

“How you doing, Sonny Boy?” Brian called out.

 

“It’s looking really good, Daddy.”

 

“Good.”

 

Brian went back to watching Justin. The look on his face as he painted was mesmerizing, his eyes were bright and his smile could have lit up the moon. Brian couldn’t quite get over how cheesy his thoughts were becoming. Thank goodness people couldn’t read his mind.

 

“Are you okay?” Brian asked as he watched Justin shake out his hand as his fingers twitched.

 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I just got cramp,” he smiled reassuringly.

 

Gus spun round on his chair and tapped Brian on the shoulder. “Daddy, I’m finished. Do you want to see it?”

 

“Of course I do,” Brian said, as he pulled his son onto his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him in for a cuddle.

 

“Okay. Close your eyes,” he told him.

 

Brian closed his eyes and Gus slid the plate over to sit in front of his Daddy. “You can open them now.”

 

Gus had adorned the plate with a giant smiling sun. 

 

“What do you think, Daddy? Do you _LOVE_ it?” Gus asked, his little voiced beamed with pride as he looked at what he’d just created.

 

Brian’s face broke into a huge grin. “I love it, Sonny Boy.”

 

“Wow, that’s great, Gus. Did you paint that because your Daddy calls you, Sonny Boy?”

 

Gus shook his head as he turned in Brian’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck securely. “No,” he replied slowly, as though Justin was an idiot. “It’s because Daddy calls you Sunshine.”

 

Brian cleared his throat nervously, “Urm…”

 

“Why do you call him that, Daddy”?

 

Justin looked on with an amused smile on his face. “Yeah, why _do_ you call me that? You’ve done it a couple of times and I never thought to ask why.”

 

Brian’s face turned a wonderful shade of crimson.

 

_FUCK!_

 

“It’s uh, it’s because of your smile,” he explained quietly. Why can’t the ground just swallow him up?

 

“What?” laughed Justin, blushing too.

 

“Your smile,” Brian told him a little louder this time. “It reminds me of sunshine - really bright and… beautiful.”

 

Brian forced himself not to stick his hand down the front of his jeans to check whether his balls had fallen off, there was no other explanation for why he’d just said that out loud. But on the other hand, it had taken balls for him to say what he did, so he could rest easy knowing his (not so little) friends were safe.

 

Justin rewarded him with one of his famous ‘Sunshine’ smiles and Brian knew he’d made the right choice in letting him in on why he called him that. He appreciated that Justin hadn’t made a huge deal out of it in front of Gus, but from the look on Justin’s face, he could tell how happy his new nickname made him. 

 

The conversation was brought to an abrupt end by a whiney Gus. “Daddy, I’m hungry,” he complained, his little tummy rumbled loudly causing them all to laugh.

 

The sexual chemistry between the two men was palpable. Brian’s heart beat rapidly in his chest as he felt Justin’s eyes on him as he took their items up to the main desk to pay. He knew Justin liked him, they’d discussed it before, hell, they’d made out like horny teenagers, but there was something different in the way Justin was looking at him right now that made his stomach flip (and his cock ache.) Today was going to be interesting.

 

***

 

“But I want to hold _your_ hand, Daddy.” Gus whined tiredly. It was almost one, way past Gus’s normal lunch time, and he was tired and hungry.

 

“I know, but you have to hold Justin’s hand for the moment, kiddo,” Brian told him softly as they crossed over the busy road, making their way towards a diner Brian had spotted on their drive this morning.

 

Gus gripped Justin’s hand tightly as he skipped along the sidewalk beside him while Brian trailed behind on his crutches, stopping occasionally to rest.

 

“Are you okay?” Justin called out as he turned to see whether Brian was alright. 

 

Brian looked up and nodded. Even though he’d been on crutches for a while now, he still found it difficult to get anywhere fast.

 

“Do you know why I made you paint Daddy a turtle?” whispered Gus.

 

Justin looked down at the little boy leaning sleepily against his leg. “No, why?”

 

“Because he is _so_ slow - like a turtle,” he explained innocently. “Before he hurted himself, he could run faster than a cheetah,” Gus told him very matter of factly. 

 

“A cheetah, huh?”

 

Gus nodded and held his arms up. “Yes, like a real cheetah,” he yawned. “Can you carry me?”

 

Justin grinned and picked the little boy up, hoisting him onto his hip.

 

“Gus!” Brian scolded. “You can walk.”

 

“I don’t mind,” Justin assured him as the boy snuggled into his arms.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Justin nodded as he stroked Gus’s back as he waited for Brian to catch up.

 

“Ah, thank you,” Brian hissed when he finally caught up with them.

 

“Are you alright?” Justin asked worriedly as he rubbed Brian’s arm.

 

“Yeah… I cannot wait to be done with these damn things,” he moaned, his hands had turned white from gripping the crutches.

 

“It won't be long, I promise.”

 

They continued walking side by side in a comfortable silence, with Gus snuggled up in Justin’s arms.

 

The diner was only another block away, but as they approached the corner, they heard the distinctive sound of a bell ringing. Gus was almost asleep, his head lolled on Justin’s shoulder, but shot up as soon as he heard the familiar sound.

 

“Daddy, can I put some money in the bucket?” he begged.

 

Brian groaned as he saw The Salvation Army bell ringers dressed in their traditional red aprons and Santa hats standing right outside the diner they were headed to.

 

“Sure, Sonny Boy.”

 

They crossed the road and Brian stopped to reach into his pocket for some loose change.

 

Justin lowered Gus to the floor and he bounced happily on his feet as he waited patiently with his hand out.

 

“Here you go,” Brian said, as he handed Gus a handful of quarters.

 

They watched as Gus ran off, and started dropping the money into the buckets of the people collecting. He took his time making sure he gave everyone the same amount of coins.

 

Brian and Justin followed behind, throwing each other the odd smile as they walked along. Brian could hear Gus talking away excitedly, answering their questions about Christmas and who he was with.

 

“That’s my Daddy,” Gus said proudly, as he pointed at Brian who had finally caught up with him.

 

“You should be very proud,” the older man said sincerely. “He’s a very kind little boy.”

 

Brian could feel his heart swell with pride.

 

“Thank you, I am.”

 

They were about to leave and head on into the warmth of the diner, when someone touched his arm.

 

“Brian?”

 

His blood ran cold and the sound of _that_ voice saying his name had put him on edge. He didn't need this today.

 

Brian cleared his throat as he looked at Justin, “Hey, would you take him inside for me?” he asked quietly.

 

Justin looked at him worriedly but agreed. “Okay, we’ll grab a table.”

 

Brian wasn't sure why he did it, maybe he was being immature or even a little spiteful - but he didn't care.

 

It’s almost as though he couldn't stop himself. He reached for Justin, his hand tangled in the hair at the back of his head as he brought him in for a toe curling kiss - crushing their lips together passionately. If Justin was confused by what was happening, he didn't let on, but kissed back with just as much enthusiasm and need as Brian. What surprised him the most was just how much comfort he got from the kiss and from having Justin in his arms.

 

“We’ll see you inside,” Justin panted as he grabbed Gus’s hand and led the giggling little boy inside.

 

“Brian?” 

 

Brian slowly turned around and licked his lips nervously, “Joan!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always to Annie-Eliza for being the best beta a girl could ask for.
> 
> Sorry to have left you hanging here, but it would have been WAY too long otherwise, as I have SO much planned for the next one.
> 
> So, please review and let me know what you think. Who did you think he had bumped in to?


	11. Chapter 11

They were about to leave and head into the warmth of the diner when someone touched his arm.

 

“Brian?”

 

His blood ran cold and the sound of that voice saying his name had put him on edge. He didn't need this today.

 

Brian cleared his throat as he looked at Justin, “Hey, would you take him inside for me?” he asked quietly.

 

Justin looked at him worriedly but agreed. “Okay, we’ll grab a table.”

 

Brian wasn't sure why he did it, maybe he was being immature or even a little spiteful - but he didn't care, it was as though he couldn't stop himself. He reached for Justin, his hand tangled in the hair at the back of his head as he brought him in for a toe curling kiss - crushing their lips together passionately. If Justin was confused by what was happening, he didn't let on, but kissed back with just as much enthusiasm and need as Brian. What surprised him the most was just how much comfort he got from the kiss and from having Justin in his arms.

 

“We’ll see you inside,” Justin panted as he grabbed Gus’s hand and led the giggling little boy inside.

 

“Brian?”

 

Brian slowly turned around and licked his lips nervously, “Joan.”

 

There was an uncomfortable pause as they both just looked at each other, neither wanted to be the first to speak.

 

Joan gave her bucket to the gentleman collecting next to her and clasped her hands awkwardly over the front of her coat. “Was that…was that…?” she faltered.

 

He wasn't going to make it easy for her. If she wanted to know something, then she’d have to come right out and fucking ask him.

 

She could see he wasn't going to help her out, so she reluctantly continued. “Is that boy yours?”

 

“ _That_ boy is my son, yes - or were you referring to my partner, Justin? Because he’s mine too,” he told her proudly.

 

The look of disgust on her face was unmistakable. “I see.”

 

He scoffed. “I'm glad, it’s quite simple.”

 

“So, what happened to you?” She asked, without a trace of emotion in her voice as she nodded towards his crutches.

 

“I got hit by a car.”

 

Why was he still talking to her?

 

“I can’t say I'm surprised. The way you choose to live your life, it’s ungodly.”

 

“Ungodly?” he laughed bitterly, she really was a fucking piece of work.

 

“Yes, like some sort of perversion of nature, it’s disgusting and against God’s will,” she whispered, afraid that her friends collecting alongside her may overhear the disgusting way in which her son chooses to live his life. “A sign literally hit you with full force, Brian, and yet you still don't get it?"

 

“You think God hit me with a car to punish me?” He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Actually, he could, his mother had always been bat shit crazy. 

 

“It’s not too late. You can still change. I know you can.”

 

“I can?” he asked, shoving his tongue in his cheek, afraid that he might say something he’d later regret.

 

Her eyes lit up with hope. “You’ll have to fight temptation. Be strong. Harden yourself.”

 

“Trust me, mother, I have _no_ problem _hardening_ myself - that wonderful partner of mine that you just met helps me out quite nicely with that,” he sneered.

 

Man, that felt good.

 

He watched as multiple emotions crossed her face. He knew he hadn't caught them all, but one he was sure of. Pure hatred.

 

He was done, he couldn't listen to any more of her sanctimonious bullshit. As he turned his head he could see Justin and Gus through the window of the diner, their heads huddled close together as they coloured in. _That_ was where he was supposed to be, not out here in the freezing cold explaining himself to his God-fearing cunt of a mother. 

 

“Brian, I can’t help you if you don’t start helping yourself,” she muttered.

 

He couldn't stop himself from laughing angrily in her face, when had she ever helped him? Where was she when his dear ol’ dad took him out into their garage and whipped him with his leather belt, marking him until he passed out from the pain? Or when his hands were wrapped so tightly around his throat he thought he’d die? She wouldn't be rushing to his side, checking he was okay, no, she would be sitting in their living room with a blank expression on her face as she knocked back glass after glass of cheap sherry.

 

“Enjoy praying for my soul,” growled Brian as he turned around and made his way into the diner. The warmth hit him as soon as he was through the door, and it was only then he realised how cold he’d been. His teeth started chattering and he rubbed his hands together fiercely as he tried to get warm. 

 

As soon as Justin saw him walk in, he stood up, greeting him with one of his sunniest sunshine smiles, and he felt himself begin to warm up almost immediately. 

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Brian smiled back, exhaustion suddenly taking hold.

 

“Is everything alright?” Justin asked when Brian slid into their booth.

 

Brian nodded sadly before he turned his attention to Gus.

 

“Hey, Sonny Boy, did you see all the books and toys over there?” he asked, pointing to the special children’s corner. “Why don’t you go and find some cool stuff and bring them back to the table?”

 

“Okay, Daddy,” Gus giggled excitedly as he ran off.

 

“Sorry about that,” Brian apologised. “Was he okay?”

 

Justin leaned forward and took Brian’s hand in his and stroked it softly. “Don’t be sorry,” he said smiling. “ I happen to love hanging out with Gus.”

 

“I think he’s smitten with you,” Brian laughed as he looked at their entwined hands and sighed heavily. “That was my mother.”

 

“I thought so.” Justin waited for Brian to continue.

 

“She’s a God-fearing, homophobic, selfish asshole.” Brian turned around to check on Gus, making sure his little ears weren’t picking up on what he was saying. “In fact, even calling her a mother is a massive exaggeration and an insult to _actual_ mothers out there.”

 

Justin nodded sympathetically. “That must have been hard when she found out you were gay.”

 

Brian cleared his throat nervously, “I’d never actually told her.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Until now…”

 

“Oh, shit,” Justin’s hand went up to his mouth in shock.

 

“Okay, um...,” Brian looked around to check on Gus once more, luckily he was being kept busy by the vast array of children's books on display in the corner. “This is a little awkward, what with, you know - everything between us. But I… I told her you were my partner. I'm really sorry if that makes you uncomf…”

 

Justin cut him off before he could finish apologising. 

 

“Brian, it’s fine,” Justin laughed gently reaching for his hand once more. “Trust me, I get it.” And by the look on his face, he did, he got it.

 

“I don’t even know why I said it,” he admitted truthfully.

 

“I do,” Justin told him. “You wanted to show her that you’re happy. That you’re loved. You didn't have that growing up with her religion. But you have it now.”

 

Brian nodded. Of course, Justin would understand.

 

Gus bounced back over to their booth excitedly. “Daddy, Justin, look what I found, it’s a wholeeee book on dinsores.” 

 

“Wow, that’s awesome, buddy,” Brian exclaimed happily, feeding off of Gus’s excitement.

 

“Yup, they tell you allllll about the T-Rex and the Stegsasorus.”

 

“The Stegosaurus,” Brian corrected gently.

 

Gus rolled his eyes and looked at Justin. “I said Stegsasorus, didn't I?”

 

Justin chuckled, mouthed sorry to Brian and ruffled Gus’s hair, “Yeah, you did.”

 

Brian signalled the waitress to let her know that that they were ready to order. “What can I get you handsome boys for lunch?”

 

“Can I order for myself, Daddy?” Gus whispered loudly, which made all the adults laugh.

 

“Go for it, Sonny Boy.”

 

“Please, may I have a turkey samich and an apple juice.”

 

The waitress crouched down so that she was eye-level with him. “You sure can. What bread would you like with that, sweetheart?” Gus looked at Brian.

 

“Whole wheat,” whispered Brian.

 

“Whole wheat, please,” he grinned proudly.

 

The waitress smiled back before standing back up. “And what about you?” She asked Justin. 

 

“I’ll have the bacon cheeseburger, a side of fries and an extra thick chocolate shake, please.”

 

She turned to Brian. “And for you, sir?” 

 

“I’ll have the tossed house salad and a black coffee...please.”

 

Once she had all their orders written down, she left them to it.

 

“Daddy,” Gus said sadly. You didn't order a turkey samich like you _always_ do. Now we won't have the same for lunch.”

 

Brian wrapped his arm around Gus and kissed his head. “I'm sorry, how about we share?”

 

Gus nodded happily and went back to reading his book.

 

When the waitress brought over their food, Brian kept his promise and split his salad with Gus, who in return, gave him half of his turkey sandwich. 

 

“Now we’re the same,” Gus giggled as he looked at their matching plates proudly. “Samesies.”

 

“Samesies,” Brian repeated happily, loving how easy it was to please his kid.

 

Brian scrapped out the mayonnaise from his sandwich before he took a bite. “Mmm, I didn’t realise how hungry I was. How’s yours?” he asked, as he eyed up Justin’s burger.

 

Justin moaned appreciatively as he took another huge bite. “It’s so good,” he said, once he’d swallowed. “I haven’t had a good burger in ages,” he said, as he took a fry and dipped it into his chocolate milkshake before he popped it into his mouth. 

 

Brian couldn't hide the disgusted look on his face as he watched Justin pop the fry into his mouth. “Did you just…” he pointed to the fries on Justin’s plate, “dip that in your shake?”

 

Justin’s cheeks turned the rosiest of pinks as he looked up at Brian. “Yeah?”

 

“I thought so. You’re disgusting,” teased Brian.

 

“Try it,” Justin said, as he took a fry and dipped it into the thick chocolatey mixture before thrusting it towards Brian.

 

“No. I think I'm good,” he laughed, pulling his head as far away from the offending fry as he could.

 

Gus reached for it eagerly. “Can I try it?” 

 

Justin looked at Brian to make sure it was okay.

 

Brian just scoffed. “Sure, go for it, Sonny Boy,” he said, cringing as he watched his son take the chocolate coated fry and devour it with gusto.

 

Gus’s eyes got huge. “That was sooooo yummy.”

 

“Ha,” Justin grinned triumphantly, as he took another fry and dipped just the tip of it into the shake. “Try it, if you don’t like it, you can spit it out.”

 

Brian shook his head stubbornly; there was no way in hell he was going to try that disgusting concoction.

 

“Try it, Daddy. You just gotta. It’s like dinner and dessert allllll at the same time.”

 

Brian reluctantly took the fry from Justin and _very_ slowly brought it up to his lips.

 

“Whenever you’re ready,” Justin teased before he started to fake snore, which caused Gus to break out into a fit of hysterics.

 

Brian hesitantly popped the fry into his mouth and was amazed at just how much he enjoyed it. The salt from the fry mixed with the sweetness of the chocolate was the perfect combination.

 

“Not bad.”

 

Grinning widely, Justin said, “You love it.”

 

Reaching for another fry, Brian dipped more of it into the shake this time. “Saying I love it might be taking it a bit far, but, yes, I like it,” he admitted.

 

Justin made no attempt to hide his smug smile. “I knew you would. See, Brian? You just have to dive in and try things, even if you’re scared. Sometimes it really pays off.”

 

“Yes, Daddy!” Gus agreed enthusiastically, “You gotta try things! Mommy made me try salad and I really like it now!”

 

Brian stifled a laugh as he smiled at the little boy affectionately. Glancing at Justin, he could see the younger man was doing the same. 

 

And seeing that smile directed at his son just made him fall a little bit harder.

 

******

 

It was nearing four by the time they were ready to leave the diner. After they’d eaten their lunch, Justin and Gus shared a big bowl of ice cream and then they’d sat talking, reading stories from the book corner and coloring in pictures from Gus’s trusty Frozen colouring book. It was probably one of the nicest afternoons Brian had had in awhile.

 

“Thanks for lunch, Brian. You didn't have to,” Justin said with a yawn as he slid out from the booth and stretched. The t-shirt he was wearing slid up a little, revealing his deliciously flat stomach and Brian found it extremely difficult to concentrate on getting Gus ready to go. 

 

Brian couldn't take his eyes off of that tempting strip of Alabaster skin, that was peeking out of the bottom of Justin’s tee as he lifted his arms tiredly. “Hmm - oh, no problem,” Brian smiled, embarrassed to have been caught staring. 

 

“Are you ready to go?” Brian asked his little boy, as he zipped up Gus’s winter coat.

 

Gus nodded tiredly as he held his hands out for Brian to put his mittens on. “Can we do this again, Daddy?”

 

“We do this every week,” chuckled Brian, as he ruffled Gus’s hair. 

 

Gus wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist. “I meant with Justin.”

 

“Maybe if you ask him nicely,” Brian smiled down at him, “he’ll come out with us again.”

 

“Will you, Justin?” Gus asked as he wrapped his arm around Justin’s waist even tighter. 

 

“Of course, I will,” Justin promised. “And maybe next time we’ll get your daddy to order his own ice cream, so he doesn't steal ours. What do you say?”

 

Gus giggled.”He allllwaaaays does that.” 

 

“Stop telling tales,” Brian laughed heartily.

 

Justin looked outside as he put on his coat. “Hey, she’s still out there,” he told Brian quietly. “Are you going to be okay?”

 

Brian sighed. “Yeah, the cab is meeting us at the end of the block.” and I just want to get past her as fast as I can,” he laughed bitterly as he looked down at his gimp leg.

 

“You've got this,” Justin smiled sweetly at him.

 

Once they were all ready to go, they followed Gus outside, who insisted on holding the diner door open for them.

 

Brian didn't even have to look over at her to know that Joan was watching his every move the moment he stepped outside. He took a deep breath. He _could_ do this.

 

Brian lifted Gus’s chin up, so the boy was looking at him. “Don’t run off, okay, Sonny Boy?”

 

“Yes Daddy,” Gus promised, as he accepted the hand that Justin held out to him.

 

As they began walking towards the corner and in the direction of Saint Joan, Brian could feel Justin’s hand running up and down his back.

 

“What are you doing?” he smirked.

 

“Just showing my partner some much-deserved love and attention,” Justin replied, with a cheeky wink.

 

Brian wasn't stupid. He knew it was just a show that Justin was putting on. He couldn't say that he didn't appreciate it. The look on Joan’s face was immensely satisfying, even if it did make Brian feel a little bitter over having such a hateful wench for a mother. But even though the caresses Brian felt over his back were simulated and only an example of what he might feel in a relationship with Justin, it didn't keep him from experiencing the rare feeling of butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. 

 

Justin’s hand remained firmly on Brian’s back until they reached the cab waiting for them at the corner.

 

“Thanks,” Brian said softly once he’d helped Gus climb into the back of the car, buckling him up.

 

Justin looked at him and smiled affectionately. He didn't need to say anything because his eyes said it all, they told Brian everything he needed to know. That he was safe, that he had his back no matter what, and most of all, that he cares. It had been a long time since Brian had felt this comfortable with someone. He has his friends – and Deb, but that always felt different - like they’re somehow obligated to like him because of how long they have known him and because of the shit they know he’s been through. Justin likes him, for him.

 

The cab ride to Lindsay and Melanie’s didn't take long. Gus had nestled himself into Brian’s side and was already getting upset that his afternoon with his Daddy and Justin was coming to an end. 

 

“Da-ddy, I don’t wa-want to go ho-home,” he cried.

 

Resting his chin on top of Gus’s head, Brian breathed his son in. “I   
know, buddy.”

 

“Its b-been s-so f-fun. Hasn’t i-it been f-fun, Da-daddy?”

 

“It’s been a lot of fun,” he told Gus honestly. 

 

As much as spending the day with Gus was one of Brian’s favourite things to do, saying goodbye to him was the worst.

 

The moment the cab pulled into the Muncher’s driveway Gus’s tears began to flow more freely. Brian unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled Gus onto his lap.

 

“Its okay, Sonny Boy,” Brian soothed, kissing his head.

 

“I- I'm s-sorry f-for c-crying, Da-daddy. I kn-know I-I’m a b-big b-boy.”

 

He hated seeing his boy cry like this.

 

“It’s okay to cry, Gus. Even big boys can get sad.”

 

“Mama says only babies cry. I’m n-not a b-baby.”

 

Brian shivered as he remembered Jack yelling those exact words to him when he was around Gus’s age - “only babies cry.”

 

He was out in their backyard, playing quietly with his Tonka Truck when he fell over, cutting his knee open. Tears slid down his face and blood seeped from the wound, splattering his favourite shoes. He thought his daddy would be proud that he tried so hard not to cry, to be a big boy, but his knee stung so much that he couldn't stop them from falling.

 

_“Get your crying ass up to your room, little boy. I don't want to hear that shit. Only babies cry. Are you a baby?"_

 

He was going to fucking kill Melanie for making his son believe that it wasn't okay to cry. No fucking way was he going to allow his son to be emotionally stunted the way he was.

 

Gus tapped his arm; bringing him back to the present. “Da-daddy, I – I want you to c-carry me in-inside.”

 

“Fuck!” Brian muttered angrily under his breath. His god-damn fucking knee.

 

“I… I can carry him in, if you’d like?” Justin offered.

 

Before Brian could respond, Gus had climbed into Justin’s arms and burrowed his face in the crook of Justin’s neck.

 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Justin soothed, as he climbed out of the cab.

 

“Keep the meter running,” Brian told the cabbie, as he struggled with his crutches.

 

They made their way up the stairs to Mel and Lindsay’s front door and Brian couldn't help but smile at the sight of Gus, with his legs and arms wrapped tightly around Justin. He looked like a little monkey, clinging on for dear life. 

 

The door opened before they’d even knocked, confirming Brian’s suspicions that both Lindsay and Melanie had watched them arrive through the living room window.

 

“Hi, Lindsay… Melanie,” he greeted, the look on Mel’s face making him uncomfortable.

 

Lindsay smiled; unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for Mel, who had scoffed loudly.

 

“This is Justin,” Brian explained.

 

“Hey, Brian, Justin. Hi, Gussy!” Lindsay cooed, as she tried to pry her son away from his new friend. 

 

“Nooo,” Gus sobbed, as he clung to Justin tightly.

 

“We won’t be long,” Brian turned and called out to the cabbie who was waiting patiently for them in the car as he pushed his way passed both women. “Justin, would you mind looking after Sonny Boy for a minute while I talk to the ladies in the kitchen?”

 

Justin smiled awkwardly. “Sure.”

 

“What’s going on?” Lindsay asked nervously. Mel didn't even wait to see what this was about and was already sat waiting for them in the next room.

 

“Kitchen,” he said.

 

Lindsay nodded, “Okay. Hey, Gus, why don’t you show Justin your new truck?” she suggested – watching as her little boy chatted away happily about his new toy.

 

“What the fuck is going on?” Mel asked the moment they were all sat around the kitchen table. “And how fucking dare you bring a trick along when you’re supposed to bonding with your kid!”

 

“Keep your voice down!” Brian hissed. “For your information, Justin is not a trick. I haven’t done that shit in ages, Mel, and you know that ” he found it difficult to keep the hurt out of his voice when he answered. “And even if I was still tricking, do you really think I’d do that shit around my kid? Do you think that fucking little of me?”

 

“Brian, I'm sure she didn't mean…”

 

“Lindsay, stop. I did,” Melanie said quietly. “I did mean it – and, you’re right. I'm sorry.”

 

Well, that was a fucking first.

 

“I haven’t done that – tricked, since before Adam.” Why was he even telling them this? It was none of their fucking business.

 

Melanie nodded. “So, who is he?” she asked, getting straight to the point was a specialty of hers.

 

“A friend.” That’s all they were getting.

 

“A friend?” Lindsay smirked. “I see.”

 

“Yes, a friend.” He didn't want to tell them more. Why should he?

 

“So,” Melanie asked. “Why are we hiding out in the kitchen while your _friend_ is in there with Gus?” 

 

“Gus cried in the car.”

 

Lindsay looked confused. “Okay…”

 

He looked at Mel coldly, “did you tell him that big boys don’t cry?”

 

“What?” She asked. “Where did this come from?”

 

“You heard me, he apologised for crying. Told me you said that big boys don’t cry. That only babies cry.”

 

Melanie laughed, “Are you fucking serious, Brian?”

 

“Did you fucking say it or not?”

 

“I – yes. He was getting his teeth checked at the dentist and he started to cry.”

 

“So you told him only babies cried?” He couldn't fucking believe this.

 

“No. That’s not how it was at all,” Lindsay stepped in to defend Mel.

 

“We’d had a conversation in the car before we got there, and Gus had said he wanted to be a big boy when the dentist checked his teeth. So when he started to cry, I asked him, ‘are you going to be a baby or a big boy?’ There was nothing malicious in my words, Brian. Christ.”

 

Brian put his head in his hands. “Just - don’t say that to him, okay?”

 

“What’s the big fucking deal?”

 

“Just don’t, okay? Please.”

 

He hated that he sounded so fucking vulnerable, but this was important and he’d do anything to ensure that Gus wasn’t forced to hide his emotions the same way he was; he’s a kid for Christ sakes.

 

“Brian?” Lindsay asked as she pulled her chair closer to him.

 

He could feel his cheeks flush as he spoke. “Promise me, Linds...”

 

“Okay,” she smiled sadly as she reached for his hand, patting it gently.

 

“I'm just going to go and say goodbye to, Gus and then we’ll be out of your hair,” Brian said, as he squeezed Lindsay’s hand.

 

“Thanks,” said Melanie. “He looks like he had a really nice time with you both this afternoon.”

 

“He did.”

 

Brian stood up and made his way into the living room, where Justin and Gus were both lying on their tummies playing with a bright red fire truck.

 

“I'm the fireman, okay?”

 

“Then who am I?” Justin asked. His face lit up into a huge grin when Brian walked in.

 

Gus brought his finger up to his mouth as if he was thinking. “Hmm, you’re the kitty cat that is stuck up in the tree, okay?”

 

“A cat?” Justin scoffed teasingly. 

 

“Yes, a cat. All you have to do is meow. You can do it,” Gus encouraged him. “It’s easy. Try it.”

 

Justin looked up at Brian and they shared a smile. “Meow… meooooow.”

 

“Weeee woooooo weeee woooooo,” Gus screamed, as he drove the fire truck around the room at lightning speed. “It’s okay, kitty.”

 

Brian watched as his son rescued the ‘kitty’ and then critiqued Justin on his acting skills.

 

“You didn't sound very much like a kitty cat, but it’s okay,” smiled Gus.

 

“Hey, Gus, can you come give me a hug and then say goodbye to Justin as we’re leaving.”

 

Gus ran towards him and wrapped his arms around his legs, carefully avoiding his injured knee. “Bye, Daddy.”

 

“Bye, Sonny Boy. I’ll call you tonight at bedtime, okay?” Brian promised, as he leaned down and gave the little boy a kiss.

 

Gus nodded before he ran towards Justin, throwing himself into his arms. “Thank you for playing with me.”

 

“You’re welcome,” Justin told him. “I had a lot of fun.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“Gus, would you like to help me make dinner?” Melanie asked, sensing the little boy would need distracting so they could leave without a serious meltdown.

 

“Okay, mama.”

 

Melanie took the little boy’s hand. “It was nice meeting you, Justin,” she said as she and Gus disappeared into the kitchen. 

 

Lindsay walked them to the front door. “Thanks for today, Brian.”

 

Brian leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “You don’t have to thank me every time I take him out, Linds,” he laughed. “I love spending time with him.”

 

“I know you do,” she said. “It was lovely to meet you, Justin.”

 

“You too,” Justin grinned, as he shook her hand.

 

Once the door was closed behind them, Justin gasped.

 

“What? What’s wrong?” Brian asked worriedly.

 

“I forgot you left the meter running…”

 

Brian rolled his eyes. Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Are you doing anything this evening?” Justin asked as they walked towards the waiting car.

 

“Nothing, why?”

 

“I didn't know if maybe you wanted to hang out?” Justin asked him shyly. “I was just going to order a pizza and watch a movie, but you’re more than welcome to join me.”

 

It had been a long day, and the offer to spend the evening hanging out with Justin was impossible to refuse. 

 

“I’d love to.”

 

****

 

“We’re here,” Justin told him, as the cab came to a stop outside a beautiful row of Brownstones.

 

Brian paid the cab driver and followed Justin up the steps to his apartment.

 

“Are you okay?” Justin asked as he turned to see if Brian needed any help. The stairs were steep and probably not the easiest of things to climb with crutches.

 

“I'm alright. I'm just tired,” he admitted.

 

Justin rubbed his arm. “Come on,” he said, as he unlocked the door.

 

The place was gorgeous and nothing at all like Brian imagined it would look after seeing the outside. It was a two level apartment with an open floor plan and a beautiful spiral staircase leading up to the second floor.

 

“Would you like a tour?” Justin asked as he hung up their jackets.

 

“Of course,” he smiled. “Is it leaving now?”

 

Justin looked at the non-existent watch on his wrist. “You’re just in time,” he grinned. “Okay, so here we have the kitchen. Please note the fancy breakfast bar, a major selling point when I moved in. I had visions of espresso and The New Yorker in the morning, maybe with some fresh fruit. So far, I've just used it as a place to sort my mail.”

 

“But it looks good for that,” Brian laughed.

 

“It is, and of course, it would help if I had an espresso machine… or a subscription to The New Yorker.”

 

“Bar stools would also help,” Brian teased.

 

“Yes. Anyway, moving on, here’s the living room. I apologise for the mess, but I'm currently reorganising my books by genre, instead of by author,” he explained. “Do not laugh at me,” he added warningly.

 

“Never,” Brian smirked. “Okay, maybe just a little bit.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“I just noticed your DVD’s are organised the same way,” Brian laughed. “You’re such a dork.”

 

Justin’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but he continued on with the tour.

 

“The solarium…or as we say in the real world: teeny tiny, glassed-in balcony that isn't really good for anything. Observe the sick plant hospital. The basil plant over there is my newest patient He almost didn't make it.”

 

Brian pressed his nose up to the glass. “Hey there, sick plants. Feel better, you guys.”

 

Justin smiled at his silliness. “Right, now over there,” he pointed. “You’ll notice two doors. Behind one is my washer and dryer, the other is an actual closet. Guess which is which.”

 

Brian considered this for a second. “The one on the right is the washer and dryer?”

 

“Ha, no, it’s the one on the left. But I open the wrong door every time,” Justin laughed. “I don’t know why.”

 

“Okay, it’s official. I'm over you,” Brian chuckled. “I’ll just show myself out.”

 

It was so fucking easy to make Justin blush and he was beginning to think that he was addicted to doing it.

 

Justin hit his arm lightly. “Rude,” he laughed. “And then over here is a bathroom.”

 

“Oh good,” Brian breathed out. “I admit I was slightly worried that I would have to attempt the stairs if nature called.” 

 

Justin looked at him, and the intensity of his stare gave Brian goosebumps. “I would have helped you,” he told him, his voice laced with honesty.

 

“I know you would have - but I don’t want the first time you see my dick to be when I'm taking a piss,” he smirked. 

 

There’s a tiny part of him that sensed that maybe he should have been embarrassed by what he had just said, but it’s not like all his cards weren't already on the table. Justin knows how he feels, and there is no use hiding it.

 

Justin started to laugh and any sense of shame Brian felt by his words went out the window.

 

“Good point,” he grinned.” And then upstairs is my bedroom and en suite, which I have just had remodelled, so it now includes a giant soaker tub. It’s gorgeous. Ask me how many times I've taken a bath since I have had it installed. Go on.”

 

Brian wrinkled his nose. “I'm guessing none?”

 

“Ding ding ding, you are correct.”

 

Brian shook his head in mock disgust. “What a waste.”

 

_Fuck fuck fuck, now I can’t get the image out of my head of him…of us soaking in his tub._

 

“I know. I have a shower every morning, and I always think I’ll have a bath when I get home from work – but I'm usually too tired,” he sighed.

 

“I’d kill for a bath, especially now with my knee - actually” he laughed, “ I don’t know if I’d be able to get out on my own. So maybe not.”

 

“As soon as you’re better on stairs, you can test drive mine out for me if you’d like.”

 

Brian raised his eyebrows cheekily. “Are you offering to give me a bath?”

 

“No,” chuckled Justin. “I'm offering you _my_ bath.

 

“Shame, I was looking forward to someone washing my back.”

 

“Your back?” He grinned playfully, “somehow I don’t think you want me washing just your back.”

 

“Hey, I'm offended,” Brian teased. “I do like having my back washed, though – you know, for future reference,” he winked.

 

“Should I take notes?” Justin laughed. 

 

Brian pulled his bottom lip into his mouth. ”It might be best; you never know when I might test you.” 

 

“Oooh. I’ll make sure to pay attention to _everything_ you say from now on then,” Justin teased back. “Hey, you want a beer?”

 

“Sure,” Brian said, as he flopped down onto the couch and stretched out his legs.

 

Justin walked over and handed him his drink and placed his on the coffee table. “I'm just going to change into something more comfortable. I’d offer you something…but I don’t think anything I own will fit you,” he laughed.

 

“Well, I do wear adult sizes now,” Brian joked playfully. 

 

Justin’s mouth fell open in shock before he started laughing. “You’re an asshole.”

 

“I try my best,” Brian smiled, as he watched Justin run up the stairs to get changed.

 

“You can pick a DVD or see what’s on the TV if you want,” Justin called down. “I’ll only be a minute.”

 

Brian reached for the remote, turned on the TV and hit the DVR button. He was curious as to what Justin enjoyed watching and my, God, what he saw caused him to laugh hysterically.

 

“What’s so funny?” He heard Justin yell from upstairs.

 

“You,” Brian replied, choking back laughter.

 

“What? Why?” Justin asked curiously, as he ran down the stairs; his chest bare and his t-shirt and hoodie in his hand.

 

“Hmm?” Brian asked having suddenly forgotten what was so funny. His eyes wandered over the lean body in front of him. The deliciously flat stomach, the light blonde happy trail (leading to, what Brian believes is probably the happiest place on Earth) and the rosy pink nipples all seemed to make his mouth water and his cock stiffen in his jeans.

 

Justin flushed under the intense stare but made no effort to put his shirt on. “What were you laughing at?” He asked again, as he took a seat next to Brian, and turned his body towards him.

 

“Oh, urm,” Brian snapped out of his daze and smiled.”The shit you watch on TV.”

 

“Like what?” Justin asked as he snatched the remote out of Brian’s hands.

 

“Jane the Virgin.”

 

“Have you ever even watched it?”

 

“No, and I don’t intend to.” Brian laughed.

 

Justin shook his head. “Then you cannot judge me on this one. It’s _so_ good and I can’t help but fall in love with everyone on it. I bet you’d like it.”

 

“I don’t think so. But, okay, I’ll give you that one. What about Swamp People? Don’t tell me you have a thing for men with no teeth?”

 

Justin wrinkled up his nose. “Eww, no. I just find it interesting.”

 

“Alright, I’ll give you that… but, this one, this one loses you points, Sunshine. Dance Moms. Really?”

 

Justin covered his face in embarrassment. “I admit, that one's a little cheesy.”

 

“A little?” Brian joked, as he placed his hand on Justin’s leg and gave his knee a friendly squeeze.

 

“Okay, a lot cheesy. What are your guilty pleasures when it comes to TV, then?”

 

“I don’t really watch much television,” Brian admitted. “I tend to stick to DVD’s. I liked The West Wing.”

 

“Brian, that show is _so_ old,” Justin laughed.

 

“Have you ever seen it? Josh Lyman was hot,” he laughed.

 

“And old,” Justin teased, knowing full well it would wind Brian up.

 

Brian squeezed Justin’s knee, this time not so gently. “Watch it, Sunshine. He was probably the same age I am now.”

 

“Which is how old?” Justin asked seriously.

 

“How old do you think I am?”

 

Justin stuck his tongue out cheekily as he answered. “Positively ancient.”

 

“You little shit,” Brian laughed, as he reached for the t-shirt still in Justin’s hand and smacked him with it.

 

“I'm kidding, I'm kidding,” Justin squealed as Brian threw the t-shirt down onto the floor and began to tickle Justin’s sides. “I’m sorry.”

 

“What are you sorry about?” Brian asked, as his fingers continued to attack Justin.

 

“Calling you old,” he hiccuped. “You’re young...hic...and...hic beautiful.”

 

“That’s more like it,” Brian smiled smugly, as he released Justin from underneath him.

 

Justin took a swig of his beer, in the hope it would rid him of his hiccups.

 

“I think you might be better with a glass of water,” Brian told him, as he rubbed his back affectionately. He really needed to stop touching him.

 

Justin stood and walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “You’re...hic...probably...hic...right,” he said, as he took a long, slow sip.

 

“Feel better?”

 

Justin nodded. “You’re evil,” he smiled, as he grabbed his t- shirt from the floor and put it on, followed by his hoodie.

 

“You still okay to order pizza?” Justin asked as his stomach rumbled loudly, “I'm really hungry.”

 

Brian grinned, “I can tell.”

 

Justin pulled his laptop out of his messenger bag and brought it over to the couch, sitting down next to Brian. Their bodies seemed to find their own way towards one another and they ended up sitting together with their legs and arms touching. 

 

“What do you want?” Justin asked as he pulled up the pizza place’s website.

 

“What do you usually get?”

 

“Stuffed crust Meat Feast.”

 

Brian made a face. “Can you order me a cheese pizza with mushrooms, olives, onion and bell peppers?”

 

This time, it was Justin that made a face but added it alongside his to their basket anyway. “Do you like garlic bread?”

 

Brian nodded. He didn't even want to think about how many calories he’d consume tonight, and worst of all, he couldn’t even run them off.

 

Brian watched in horror as Justin continued adding things to their basket. Coleslaw, potato wedges, cheese sticks... “What?” he asked bashfully. “I'm hungry.”

 

Once they completed their order, Justin put his laptop on the coffee table.

 

“What do you want to watch?” Justin asked, as he automatically scooted closer to Brian. 

 

_Mmm! He smells so fucking good._

 

“Anything but Dance Moms,” he teased. 

 

“Wanna try Jane the Virgin? I really think you’ll like it.”

 

“Sure,” Brian smiled easily, “I bet I won’t but if you really want to watch it-”

 

“Don’t judge it until you’ve tried it,” Justin interrupts, “The first season is on Netflix. Let’s start with that.”

 

“Haven’t you seen the first season though?” Brian asked, confused.

 

“Yeah, but you haven’t,” Justin pointed out, rolling his eyes, “And I don’t mind watching it again. Trust me, Brian. So much happens. It’s fun.”

 

And then there they were. Marathoning Jane the Virgin, a show that Brian’s pretty sure was made for a woman but it was pretty fucking funny and has a lot of heart, not that he’ll tell Justin that. Nor will he tell Justin if he’s Team Raphael or Team Michael because he’s not getting pulled in.

 

“But what if you _had_ to choose?” Justin asked, practically staring into his soul after five episodes.

 

Brian groaned and threw his hands up in the air.

 

“Raphael is hotter, I think. I’d fuck him.”

 

Justin gasped, “But Michael has been there for her! He stayed there even after she got artificially inseminated by mistake, waited two years for her because he respected her decision not to have sex-”

 

“So I'm guessing you’re a Michael fan?” Brian asked, amused by Justin’s passion.

 

Justin shook his head, “No. I can’t decide. Raphael really grew on me throughout the show.”

 

Brian scoffed and shook his head, “You’re so strange.”

 

Justin smiled a little and rubbed Brian’s shoulder, “Guess it’s for the best you know that about me now.”

 

Brian’s eyes grew soft as he looked at the hand, “Yeah...but you got my mind off of things today. That...That can be hard to do sometimes.”

 

Justin pursed his lips and studied Brian, “How are you feeling? You know, about what happened earlier.”

 

Brian huffed out a humourless laugh, “Well, after four beers and five episodes of angsting over who Virgin Jane will end up with, I'm doing alright.”

 

“You sure? I know it can’t have been fun seeing your mom like that.”

 

Brian leaned his head against the back of the couch and sighed. “Let’s just say I’d rather have had a root canal – without an anaesthetic.”

 

Justin grimaced as he imagined the pain that would cause. “Ow.”

 

“Yeah, it wasn't exactly the highlight of my day.”

 

Justin got up from the couch and carried the empty pizza boxes to the kitchen.

 

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asked.

 

“Just some water.”

 

Justin went to the fridge and grabbed two bottles, then pulled out a giant tub of ice cream from the freezer.

 

“How can you still be hungry?” Brian asked, genuinely amazed at the amount of food that Justin could put away.

 

“I always have room for dessert,” he shrugged, as he walked back over and dropped the bottle of water in Brian’s lap.

 

“Thanks,” Brian said, as he watched Justin get comfortable next to him.

 

Justin shivered. “I'm cold,” he said, as he pulled a blanket off of the back of the couch and covered their legs with it.

 

“Yet you’re still considering eating ice cream,” Brian laughed.

 

Justin grinned and handed him a spoon. “Have some.”

 

Oh, God, he really didn't want to think about how much he’d eaten tonight, he was going to say no to dessert, but after watching Justin lick ice cream off of the back of the spoon, he was convinced otherwise.

 

“I get it, though – what it’s like to have shitty parents”

 

Brian looked over at Justin and could see the pain in his eyes as he spoke.

 

“You handled yourself a hell of a lot better than I would have if I’d seen my da…my father.”

 

“Homophobic asshole?”

 

“That’s putting it lightly,” Justin explained bitterly.

 

“What happened?”

 

“He kicked me out the moment he found out I was gay.”

 

“How old were you”? Brian asked as he felt his fists beginning to clench.

 

Justin took a huge spoonful of ice cream before he answered him. “I’d only just turned seventeen.”

 

Brian couldn't hide how shocked he was. “Shit, you were still in high school?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Brian sensed there was more to the story than Justin was willing to share tonight. Part of him wanted to press him on it but he knew there were so many fucking things he wasn't ready to tell Justin either. Or anyone, for that matter.

 

“My mom's great, though,” Justin continued, “I gave her such a rough time when I was 17.”

 

“Were you a princess?” Brian asked, eyebrow raised.

 

“Pretty much,” Justin laughed, “What about your dad? Was he any better?”

 

Brian let out a sigh, “...No. He wasn't religious but he didn't need that to be hateful. He’s dead now, though. Cancer.”

 

Justin took a breath, “Fuck. I'm sorry.”

 

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Brian shrugged, “It’s just the way things were.”

 

“They shouldn't have been, though,” Justin pointed out, “You’re a good person. They’re ignorant and horrible for not realising what a great son they had.”

 

Brian looked away for a second and tried to gather himself. The alcohol (that he really wasn't supposed to be drinking yet) and the words that he had never heard come from anyone else’s mouth until now were hitting a little too hard and, with the walls he had carefully built around his heart over the last twenty years, that was not easy to do. 

 

“Hey,” Justin murmured, putting his arm around Brian’s shoulder, “Come here.”

 

Brian sniffled a little and let himself be brought to Justin’s side. He tried not lean into him too much. He wasn’t going to become some pussy needing to be held just because he had it out with his mother. But Justin seemed to realise he didn’t need that. As Brian turned to Justin to look into his eyes, they found themselves locked in each other’s stares. Fuck, Brian wanted to kiss him. He wanted to do more than that but he was respecting Justin’s need to heal and-

 

Brian’s thoughts were interrupted by Justin’s lips touching his. Lightly at first but tender and soft. All warm and welcoming. Brian returned the kiss for a few moments, letting Justin cradle his face, before pulling away.

 

“I thought…” Brian started, confused, “I thought we were doing the friend thing for a while.”

 

“We are,” Justin answered quietly, “But you really need a friend right now. Someone who can make you feel better.”

 

“And kissing is going to make me feel better?” Brian asked, amused.

 

“Yes,” was all Justin answered with, smiling a bit as well, “We shouldn't take it any further. At least not yet. But kissing is underrated and a great healing tool.”

 

Brian didn't add any more to the conversation. Pulling Justin back in for a kiss, he let himself be comforted by Justin’s lips. Even though Brian loved a good kiss, he usually liked them because they almost always led to bigger and better things. This was different. It was like he couldn't get enough. He could kiss Justin for hours and not get impatient. 

 

The patience was probably a good thing because kissing for hours was just what they ended up doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sound like a broken record, but huge thanks to my wonderful beta, Anna-Eliza. You help me out SO much and I cannot thank you enough.
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think. I love hearing what you guys have to say xx


	12. Chapter 12

“Urgh.” 

 

Brian could feel himself coming to; the early morning sun had already started to seep through his eyelids and the blissful barrier between sleep and wakefulness had begun to disappear. Just as he was about to open his eyes, he felt something brush his leg.

 

“What the fuck?” He mumbled gruffly. 

 

Even with his eyes closed, Brian could tell that whatever it was, it was watching him - closely.

 

He quickly lifted his head and squinted against the bright sunlight that was shining through the windows. Looking around, Brian knew instantly he wasn't at the loft, but where was he? He raised his hand to block out the light and looked around. Ah, yes, he was at Justin’s.

 

He’d almost forgotten what it was that had woken him when he suddenly felt it brush against his leg once again. He looked down anxiously - and that’s when he saw it. An angry looking cat was now sitting by his feet, watching his every move.

 

“Justin?” He whispered. “Are you awake?”

 

“I am now,” he yawned, smacking his lips together loudly. “Morning.”

 

Brian couldn't help but smile at the sight of Justin next to him on the sofa, curled up into a tight little ball with pillow marks covering his face.

 

“I take it you’re not a morning person?” Brian smiled teasingly.

 

Justin shot him a look before returning the smile and closing his eyes. “Not really,” he laughed, his voice gravelly from sleep.

 

“So, you never told me you had a cat.”

 

“I didn't?”

 

“No, you didn't. And **it’s** been staring at me for the last ten minutes.”

 

Justin laughed sleepily. “Her name’s Dowager and she’s harmless. Stroke her, she loves that.”

 

Brian reached out, but the cat glared at him menacingly, hissing as his hand touched her back.

 

“What did you do to her?” Justin asked, his eyes still firmly closed.

 

Brian scooted closer to Justin. “I tried to stroke her - just like **you** suggested,” he said, as he attempted to stroke the cat once more - only for her to turn her back on him and meow angrily.

 

Justin laughed. “She’s not really a morning person either.”

 

It was as though Dowager knew she was being talked about because she turned her nose up at Brian one last time and sulked off up the stairs.

 

“I think she was trying to figure out a way to kill me and dispose of my body,” Brian whispered seriously.

 

“That **must** be it,” chuckled Justin as he rested his head on Brian’s shoulder and opened his eyes slowly. “Woah, I can’t believe we passed out like that. What time is it?”

 

“Me either.” Brian stretched languidly, his muscles sore from spending the night curled up on Justin’s tiny sofa. “It’s just after eight.”

 

“In the morning?”

 

Brian shook his head and laughed. “Yes, in the morning.”

 

“Did you sleep okay?” Justin asked.

 

“Yeah, you?”

 

Justin stretched before answering. “Mmm, yeah.” 

 

“Urgh,” Brian moaned, as he felt his shoulder stiffen up as he moved.

 

Justin looked at him worriedly, concern was written all over his face and the physiotherapist in him taking over. “What’s wrong?”

 

Brian rolled his shoulder and tried to loosen the muscles that pinched tightly at his neck. “My shoulder is fucking killing me,” he admitted.

 

Justin crawled across the sofa and slid behind Brian.

 

“Let me take a look. Does this hurt?” Justin asked as he dug his thumb into the taut muscle beneath his shoulder blade.

 

“Ah. Fuck! Yeah, that hurts.”

 

“Wait here,” Justin said as he hopped over the back of the couch and ran up the stairs.

 

“What are you doing?” Brian called up.

 

“Take off your shirt.”

 

Brian looked up, trying to see what Justin was doing, but the couch was placed at an angle where you couldn't see up the stairs. “What the fuck?” he laughed.

 

“Take off your shirt,” repeated Justin, as he made his way back into the living room with a tiny bottle in his hand.

 

Brian did as he was told, and removed his t-shirt. Hissing as he lifted his arm.

 

“Scoot forward a little for me,” Justin asked, as he situated himself back behind Brian on the sofa, and placed a pillow in front of him, much to Brian’s dismay. He’d rather enjoyed feeling Justin’s morning woody pressed firmly against the bottom of his back.

 

Justin wrapped his legs loosely around Brian’s hips and ran his hand softly over both of his shoulders. 

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“What does it feel like I'm doing?” Justin replied teasingly as he started rubbing the oil between his hands, warming it up. “I'm giving you a massage.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Justin stopped moving his hands, “Would you rather I didn't?”

 

“No, no, carry on.” Brian sighed as Justin’s fingers began working the rigid muscles of his neck. “The pain is lower, though, it’s right by my shoulder blade,” he explained, reaching a hand around to show where he was hurting.

 

Justin pushed his hand away. “I know, but first, I need to work the surrounding areas. It won’t do you any good if I only work on where you’re hurting. Your whole back is tight.”

 

“Ahh,” Brian moaned, as Justin applied pressure to his Trapezius muscles and began working on a particularly stubborn knot.

 

“Is the pressure okay?”

 

Brian nodded. “Yeah. It feels **really** good.”

 

Justin worked in silence for few minutes before resting his forehead gently against Brian’s bare shoulder. “Try and relax, you’re really tense.” His fingers slid across Brian’s back to his injured shoulder blade and began to rub in a soft circular motion.

 

“Mmmm...I didn't know physiotherapists were so good at giving massages,” Brian sighed, as he felt his muscles loosen slightly.

 

“They’re not usually. I'm also a trained massage therapist.”

 

“Really? Brian hummed appreciatively. 

 

“Yeah. I don’t use it much now, though.”

 

Brian leaned back a little, loving the feel of Justin’s thighs holding him in place. “You **really** should,” he groaned enthusiastically.

 

“Take a deep breath for me.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because this is going to hurt,” Justin said softly as he increased the pressure and a muscle inside Brian’s shoulder blade twitched as his fingers pushed across it. 

 

Brian exhaled loudly as he felt a rush of pressure leave his body.

 

“You okay?” Justin asked as he kissed Brian’s shoulder softly before continuing on with the massage. 

 

“...Yeah,” Brian finally breathed, “It hurt, but fuck, it felt good.”

 

Brian stood up and started to stretch, rotating his shoulders forward and back to see how they felt. After just ten minutes of Justin working his magic, he felt as though he had a brand new body. Well almost. His leg was still fucked.

 

“Good. Do you still have the ice packs I gave you at our first session?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You’re going to need to ice it a couple of times today to stop it swelling.”

 

Brian nodded reluctantly. He hated those fucking ice packs.

 

“Would you like something to eat?” Justin asked as he wandered into the kitchen and filled the kettle with water.

 

Brian followed, leaning himself up against the breakfast bar and taking some of the weight off of his injured leg. “I’d love a coffee if you have any?”

 

“I do, It’s that instant kind, though. Is that okay?” 

 

“Do you have any sugar?”

 

“Yes,” laughed Justin, as he took the sugar bowl out of the cupboard. 

 

“Then it’s fine. I’ll just put enough in to take away the taste.”

 

Justin rolled his eyes as he pulled two mugs out of the cupboard and held them out in front of him. “Which do you want?”

 

Brian looked between the two and started to laugh Why in God’s name was Lionel Richie’s face looking at him? “Your taste in mugs is outstanding.”

 

Taking a look at what he’d chosen, Justin’s cheeks flushed red. “And because you mocked me, you’re no longer getting a choice,” Justin huffed teasingly, handing Brian the ‘Show me your Kitties,’ mug and keeping the, ‘Is it tea you’re looking for?’ one for himself.

 

Before Brian could comment further, his phone rang loudly in his pocket.

 

“Hi Mikey, what’s up?” Brian said as he ran his hand down Justin’s back in a silent apology.

 

**Mmm, he felt so warm.**

 

“Hey. Are you home?” Michael asked.

 

Brian wasn't in the mood to give much away. “No. Why?”

 

“I was talking to Emmett this morning at the diner, and we haven’t seen you in forever…”

 

“Forever? It’s been three days, Mikey,” Brian laughed. He loved his best friend, but my God, he was dramatic sometimes. 

 

“Whatever. Will you be home at noon?”

 

“I can be.”

 

“Good,” Michael said excitedly. “We’re bringing lunch.”

 

“Alright, I’ll see you both then.”

 

Brian ended the call and sighed. 

 

“Problem?” Justin asked, as he handed Brian his coffee and pushed the sugar towards him.

 

“No,” Brian smiled gratefully, as he added three heaped teaspoons of sugar to his coffee before he’d even tried it. “Mikey and Emmett have invited themselves over to the loft for lunch. Apparently ‘they've not seen me enough.’”

 

Justin laughed as Brian rolled his eyes.

 

“Aww, they miss you,” Justin teased.

 

Brian scoffed, as he added another spoonful of sugar to his coffee. “I saw Mikey three days ago.”

 

“Well, it’s completely your fault they miss you,” Justin told him.

 

“Uh huh, and why is that?” Brian asked, watching as Justin spread a thick layer of full fat cream cheese onto a toasted bagel and offered him half.

 

“You’re very irresistible.”

 

Brian placed his bagel down onto the counter top and reached over, doing the same with Justin’s.

 

“Is that so?” Brian smirked, as he stepped towards him, his hand finding Justin’s hip and squeezing it gently. For some reason, he was unable to stop himself from touching him this morning. Maybe it was because they’d (innocently) spent the night together and he’d seen first-hand just how warm and utterly fuckable Justin looked when he first woke up.

 

Justin nodded. “Yep. You really only have yourself to blame.”

 

“I see,” Brian teased back, his voice lower and more playful than usual. He breathed, stepping closer - pressing Justin against the counter where there was no escape. 

 

Justin lowered his eyes and Brian enjoyed the way he was rooted to the spot

 

“So what would you suggest I do?”

 

Justin breathed heavily as Brian leaned forward and kissed the corner of his lips.

 

“Well, uh… for a start,” Justin began, his voice wavered slightly from the unexpected kiss. “You’re far too handsome.”

 

Brian smiled and licked his lips. “That’s true. I am.”

 

“Yeah, you really need to stop that.”

 

“Never,” Brian laughed. 

 

Justin ignored him and continued. “And kind.”

 

Brian scoffed. “Well, that’s a first.”

 

“What is?”

 

“No one has ever called me kind before.”

 

Justin scrunched up his nose. “Your friends must have.”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Well, clearly they need to take a closer look at you.”

 

Rolling his eyes, Brian gave Justin’s sides a quick squeeze before he moved away. 

 

“I’ll be sure to tell them,” he grinned, as he took a sip of coffee and made a face.- there was not enough sugar in the world that could make this instant shit taste any good.

 

After breakfast – and many, **many** kisses later, Brian was ready to head out make his way home.

 

“Thanks for the coffee – even if it did taste like cat piss,” Brian teased as he leaned against Justin’s front door.

 

Justin handed Brian his crutches. “Well, I pride myself on being a good host,” he grinned, pressing a gentle kiss against Brian’s cheek – hesitating slightly before moving onto his mouth. Brian’s lips parted as Justin’s tongue brushed over them, demanding access.

 

“Whose idea was it to take things slowly again?” Brian asked, pulling his head back reluctantly.

 

“Mine,” Justin said quietly. “Sorry. I don’t want you to think I’m leading you on…”

 

“I get it,” Brian assured him. “Honestly.”

 

Justin rested his head against Brian’s shoulder. “I know you do. It’s just – I ask if we can take things slowly… and then I can’t seem to keep my hands off of you.”

 

“Or your mouth,” Brian grinned.

 

Justin laughed. “Or your mouth.”

 

“That’s completely understandable, though,” Brian smirked. “I'm irresistible.”

 

Justin laughed. “Ah, so modest.”

 

He loved the way he could make Justin laugh with the smallest of things. He knew Justin was feeling guilty, guilty for wanting to take things slowly and to keep their relationship professional - especially while he was still under his care at the hospital, but the way things were going lately – with the flirting, secret glances, and kissing, it was anything but. 

 

But hell, Brian wasn't innocent either. He had been hitting on the blonde way more than Justin had made the moves on him. He could be to blame. Knowing his track record, he probably was. 

 

“Are you going to be okay going down the stairs?”

 

“You've seen me do stairs at the hospital a hundred times,” Brian scoffed. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“You've never done stairs this steep before,” Justin explained. “It’ll be easier if you hop down them, especially if your shoulder is still acting up.”

 

Brian nodded before turning to make his way down the stairs to the waiting cab.

 

“Wait,” Justin said, as he rushed to Brian’s side. “I'm going to help you.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” he repeated.

 

“The last thing we need is for you to land on your ass at the bottom of my concrete stairs.”

 

Brian nodded and reluctantly let Justin guide him down to the waiting car. 

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Brian asked, leaning in for one last kiss. What the hell, he couldn't help himself. 

 

“Yep. See you tomorrow.”

 

****

Brian didn’t have long before Michael and Emmett were due to arrive, so he had a quick shower and pulled on a white t-shirt and his favourite light blue jeans before settling himself on the couch and flipping through the latest issue of Adweek. He was halfway through a story about cross-platform media measurement when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket - it was Justin.

 

**Now that I have successfully converted you into a Jane the Virgin fan, next time I’ll let you choose what we watch. How does that sound? =)**

 

Brian could feel himself smiling at Justin’s promise of a next time. His fingers brushed over the keys as he typed out a quick response.

 

**Sounds great. Next time you’ll come over to mine, we’ll order something far less calorific than pizza and I’ll introduce you to the legend that is, Marlon Brando. He’s hot - and, as far as I know, he had all of his own teeth, unlike the guys from Swamp People you have the hots for.**

 

His phone buzzed almost instantly with a reply.

 

**I think you’ll find that if they got dental surgery, brushed their hair and you know, weren't hunting alligators - they’d be quite the catch. Oh, and Marlon Brando? Really? You think he’s hot?**

 

Brian rolled his eyes. **Yes, really. Why do I feel like you have never seen any of his movies?**

 

**Actually. I have.**

 

**The Godfather doesn't count, Justin. Everyone has seen that. I'm talking about the classics - like On the Waterfront or A Streetcar Named Desire.**

 

**Alright, fine. I’ll let you bore me with your Brando collection - but not ordering pizza? That part of the date is definitely not debatable.**

 

Date? What the fuck? Was last night a date? He really should know if it was, right?

 

Before he had the chance to respond, his phone alerted him to another message.

 

**Shit, Brian. I didn't mean a date, date. I mean, technically I did, but not yet. Fuck. Ignore me. See you tomorrow =)**

 

Brian couldn't help but laugh. He could just imagine Justin sitting there with his phone clutched tightly in his hand, stressing out over the message he’d just sent. Part of him wanted to tease him and keep him waiting, but that didn't seem fair. 

 

**It’s a date.** He saw when Justin had read his message, and he couldn't stop himself from wondering what his reaction was. Was he smiling just as much as he was? Fuck, he had it bad. 

 

Luckily he didn't have much time to think about it as he heard the elevator stopping at his floor. 

 

“Dahling, we’re here!” Emmett sang as he pulled open the heavy door to the loft - Michael was following behind carrying the bags of food. 

 

“Oh, don't worry, Em, I've got it,” Michael said sarcastically as he watched his friend walk in ahead of him and sit down next to Brian on the couch.

 

Emmett threw his arm around Brian and kissed his cheek loudly. “I'm not worried, sweetie,” Emmett grinned back, “I knew you’d be okay.”

 

Michael laughed as Brian wiped at his face and squirmed out of Emmett’s embrace.

 

“Get off me,” Brian laughed, as he pushed Emmett away.

 

“We missed you last night,” Michael said, as he unloaded the food onto the island in the kitchen before making his way over to the sofa to join them. 

 

“Yeah, baby. Woody’s wasn't the same without you.”

 

Brian shook his head and laughed. “I'm sure you all managed just fine.”

 

Emmett shook his head. “We had to wait in line for a pool table. Can you believe it?”

 

Brian looked at him pointedly. “You don’t even play.”

 

“That’s not the point,” Emmett shrugged, “I was with Teddy and he wanted to play.”

 

“If all you had to show off was Theodore, then it’s no wonder that you were waiting there all night.”

 

Emmett smacked Brian’s arm. “Stop it,” he warned teasingly. “We all know you love Teddy just as much as the rest of us.”

 

“Be still, my beating heart,” Brian mocked lightly, as he held his hand up to his heart, making Emmett giggle.

 

The truth was - and he’d never admit this to anyone, but he did love Teddy - Well, maybe not love, but he’d definitely grown to appreciate the man and consider him a friend. That’s something he would never have imagined.

 

“So, where were you last night”? Michael asked with a hint of jealousy evident in his voice. 

 

Brian cleared his throat. “With Justin.”

 

Why was he so uncomfortable telling them where he was? He’s a grown man, he can hang out with whoever he wants, whenever he wants.

 

They both responded at the same time.

 

“All night?”

 

“Oooooh,” Emmett clapped excitedly. Tell us **everything**.

 

Before Brian could answer either of them, Emmett got up and ran into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of cartons of food.

 

“WAIT. Before you tell us anything, I need me some Pad Thai.”

 

He made his way back into the living room and handed Brian his noodles.

 

Michael looked up, “Hey, where’s mine?”

 

“In the kitchen. I'm not sure if you’ve noticed, but I only have two hands,” Emmett responded playfully as he sat back down next to Brian.

 

Michael stuck his tongue out before bringing his food over to join them.

 

With a mouth full of noodles, Emmett began to speak excitedly. “So, spill. Leave nothing out. Go on.”

 

“There isn't anything to tell,” Brian explained as he moved his food around the carton with his chopsticks. “We dropped Gus off at the Munchers, then we went back to his place and…”

 

“OOOOH,” Emmett exclaimed animatedly.

 

“...we ordered dinner,” Brian smirked, the look of disappointment on Emmett’s face was priceless. 

 

“That's all?” Emmett asked, a hint of disappointment evident in his voice.

 

“And we watched some T.V.”

 

Michael scrunched up his nose. “Really? That’s **all** you did?”

 

Brian wasn't sure whether or not to be offended by Michael’s complete disbelief that he was capable of just hanging out with someone he liked, and not taking things further. He’d changed – why were the people that knew him so well finding this so hard to accept? It’s not like he’d changed overnight if he was being honest with himself, he had started to change even before Adam came along. But yet everyone seemed to still see him as the asshole that he once was.

 

Emmett seemed to be one of the only people in his life that acknowledged and accepted the change - for some unknown reason, that neither of them was quite sure of, they’d become closer than ever over the last year.

 

“Yes, Michael. I'm sorry to disappoint you.”

 

Emmett, having already forgotten his disappointment over there being no juicy goings-on between Brian and Justin to report back on casually asked, “so what did you end up watching?”

 

Brian smirked at how easily distracted his friend was.” Jane the Virgin.”

 

“Ohh, I love that show,” Emmett sighed dreamily. “Who are you rooting for, Michael or Raphael?”

 

“I really haven’t put too much thought into it.”

 

“What are you two even talking about?” Michael asked it was obvious to Brian he didn't like that he wasn't part of the conversation. Emmett waved his hand in his direction, telling him to be quiet.

 

“Oh please,” Emmett scoffed, placing his empty carton of food onto the table, turning his body so that he was facing Brian and bringing his legs under him. “You have to like one more than the other, you can’t be cheering for them both.”

 

“Then I guess I liked Raphael. He’s hot.”

 

He couldn't believe he was having this conversation.

 

Emmett nodded, “Michael is adorable and super sweet, but Raphael...Raphael is divine. And Rogelio! Rogelio seems so vain but once you get to know him, he is a total sweetheart. I want to have a spa day with him.”

 

Emmett tried to go on about the show but Brian poked his side, and he stopped.

 

“Is Justin still your physiotherapist?” Michael asked out of nowhere. 

 

Brian nods. “Yeah, why wouldn't he be?”

 

“I don’t know. But do you really think you two should be hanging out outside of your appointments? Isn't there some sort of rule against that?”

 

Of course, Michael would turn this into sort of ethical bullshit.

 

“I told you, nothing happened,” Brian replied frustratedly. 

 

That’s not entirely true, but Michael doesn't need to know that.

 

Michael looks at him sadly. “Maybe not yet, but you want it to, don’t you?”

 

“So what if I do? I don’t see how that’s any of your fucking business.”

 

**Calm down, he’s just concerned about you…**

 

“I just think that it might be too soon.”

 

“Too soon for what, baby?” Emmett asked, looking between his two friends.

 

“Too soon after Adam.”

 

Standing up, Brian hobbled over to the kitchen and pulled the refrigerator door open roughly, taking out a bottle of water. “What the fuck does Adam have to do with this?”

 

Michael squirmed a little in his seat. “Nothing, I just - I don’t think you should rush into anything.”

 

“I know what I'm doing, Mikey.”

 

“I know you do, but…”

 

“Will you just leave it alone?”

 

Michael nods. “Yeah, sorry.”

 

Emmett cleared his throat. “Are you guys ready to watch the movie?” Brian was sure he’d sensed the tension between him and Michael and was grateful for the distraction. 

 

“What did you bring with you this time? Brian asked. “And so help me God if it’s another Barbara Streisand movie,” he teased. “ There are only so many times I can watch Yentl with you.”

 

Emmett laughed as Brian joined him again on the couch, and threw his good arm around his shoulders.

 

“Don’t worry. I wouldn't do that to you - again. No, today, for our viewing pleasure, I thought we could watch _My Own Private Idaho_. Who doesn't love River Phoenix?”

 

“You used to have a thing for him, remember?” Michael chuckled, as he popped in the DVD and took a seat next to Brian. Brian looked at him and they smiled. 

 

“Who could blame you? He was gorgeous. Another great legend gone too soon,” Emmett sniffed.

 

Brian rolled his eyes. “I wouldn't go that far.”

 

After about ten minutes, Brian felt Michael link his arm and rest his head gently on his shoulder. “I'm not hurting you, am I?” he whispered. 

 

“No, you’re okay.”

 

Michael snuggled in a little closer and looked up. “Hey.”

 

“Hey,” Brian whispered back.

 

“Are you sure about Justin?”

 

Brian could feel himself tensing up. 

 

“Shh, just hear me out,” Michael said quietly, as he kissed Brian’s shoulder. “I just don’t want you getting hurt, but if you’re sure you know what you’re doing… then... I'm happy for you.”

 

“I know what I'm doing, Mikey. I promise. Nothing has even happened yet. I just… I really like him.”

 

“Okay. Then I hope everything works out,” Michael told him sincerely. 

 

****

 

“Don’t forget you have a Skype meeting at one with Lawrence Jones,” Cynthia reminded him.

 

Brian groaned, he fucking hated that man. It wasn't that he was a bad person, he was just annoying as fuck – but his company brought in a lot of money so he sucked it up.

 

“Alright, and don’t forget I have to lea…”

 

“Leave at 1.30 for your physio appointment. I know.”

 

What would he do without Cynthia?

 

“Alright, Lawrence, it’s been great talking to you. I’ll have Cynthia send over the minutes for the meeting and I’ll have Jake from the art department make the changes you requested and have them on your desk by six this evening. How’s that sound?”

 

“Amazing as usual, Brian. I look forward to seeing what your team can do with all these new ideas we've talked about.”

 

“Great. I’ll check in with you tomorrow.”

 

He disconnected the call and let out a sigh of relief. The meeting with Lawrence wasn't as bad as he expected it to be, which was good – although he could have done without it being a video call. Watching the guy devour a giant meatball sub as they discussed his latest ad campaign was enough to put him off his own lunch.

 

By the time he’d called Cynthia into his office to go over everything that had been discussed in the meeting, it was time for him to head out for his appointment. 

 

“Do you think you are coming back to the office or going straight home?” she asked, helping him put on his jacket.

 

“I might head home,” he tells her. “I'm taking some work with me just in case.”

 

“Go home,” she tells him. “You look tired - and you’re always far too distracted when you come back from your hospital appointments,” she winked.

 

Did she know something?

 

He shoved the last few files into his briefcase and headed out the door. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Once Brian had arrived at the hospital, he thought briefly about getting them both a coffee, but he remembered how difficult it was trying to carry them both the last time and by the looks of it, Kathy wasn't in the coffee shop to help him out again.

 

By the time Brian got to the Physio department, his leg was aching and he was looking forward to Justin working his magic on it.

 

“Well hi there, sugar,” Kathy greeted him loudly. “You’re looking mighty handsome this afternoon, I just wanna take you home and sop you up with a biscuit.”

 

Brian looked at her for a moment, and for the first time in forever he found himself speechless, what could he even say to that?

 

“Uh, thanks. I guess?”

 

“Now, why don’t you sit your cute little butt down over there, and I’ll let Jessica know you’re here,” she told him as she snapped her gum loudly, and picked up her phone.

 

Brian turned around quickly, propping himself up against the reception desk, he asked. “Jessica? You mean Justin, right?”

 

**She couldn't be that stupid, could she?**

 

“I'm afraid not, sweet cheeks. You’re seeing Jessica today. Justin called in this morning and said he wouldn't be here.”

 

Shit. Did he call in sick? But he was fine yesterday, wasn't he? What if he regrets what happened at the weekend. Not that much **actually** happened between them, but still. 

 

He didn't have much time to think about it because Jessica called him in from the doorway of Justin’s room.

 

“Brian, would you like to come in?” 

 

**No, not really.**

 

He pulled himself up off of the reception desk and followed Jessica into the room. Her head was down, reading over his notes.

 

“Hi, I'm Jessica,” she said, still not looking up. “Can you climb up onto the table for me?”

 

Brian looked at her wearily before barking out, “Of course I can.”

 

Jessica breathed out a laugh as she went and washed her hands. “Right, of course, you can.”

 

He didn't like her already.

 

Brian hobbled over to the table and sat on the edge, back rigid, despite the fact that it had been turned into putty the previous morning.

 

“Right, lay down for me.”

 

Brian laid down and watched as Jessica pulled his pant leg up.

 

“Have you been doing your exercises?” 

 

“Yes.”

 

He was probably being rude, but he didn't care.

 

“Okay, let’s see how well you’re doing with the heel slides,” she said. “Bend your knee for me, that’s right, don’t forget to make sure your foot stays flat on the bed.”

 

He knew all of this, what the fuck?

 

“Not bad.”

 

Brian could feel his hand tensing by his side. Not bad? He’d been doing those fucking exercises every night for the past few weeks - and his knee was a lot better than it was.

 

She wrapped her hand around his thigh muscle and squeezed “Your muscles up here are still overcompensating. Did Justin give you any other exercises?” 

 

“Yeah, we've been working on static hamstring holds.”

 

Jessica nodded as she made a couple of notes in his file. 

 

“Right, well roll over.”

 

Brian raised his eyebrow and chuckled, which only intensified once he saw the blank expression on Jessica’s face.

 

Justin would have found that funny. 

 

Rolling over onto his front, Brian made himself comfortable.

 

“Bend your leg and try and bring it down nice and slowly for me – I’m going to provide a little resistance.”

 

Everything was going fine with the hamstring holds, Brian could even feel his knee getting stronger. That is until Jessica changed the angle slightly, turning his foot outwards.

 

“Ah, fuck!” He cursed, as pain ripped through his knee and down into his hamstring.

 

Jessica jumped at the sound of his voice. “Oh my, God. I’m so sorry,” she said, as she struggled to help him up.”Are you okay?”

 

“I'm fine,” Brian muttered as he pushed her hand away. ”Are we done?”

 

Of course, they weren't, he had only been in there for about ten minutes, but he’d had enough. If Justin couldn't treat him, no one could.

 

“I'm really sorry,” she tried apologising again. “It says here in your file that you’ve been successfully doing your hamstring holds, so I just assumed you had moved onto the next level - Oh, God - please let me check your knee.”

 

Brian pulled his pant leg down and hopped off of the bed as fast as he could before Jessica could take a look.

 

“Uh, I don’t think so.”

 

“Can you at least let me see if everything's okay?” she all by pleaded. 

 

Brian could see how nervous she was, and a teeny tiny part of him felt bad for her, but his leg was killing him and all he wanted to do was get out of there and go and find out what the hell was wrong with Justin. So he picked up his crutches and headed for the door.

 

“Justin will have a look for me once he’s back.”

 

He didn't wait to hear what she had to say as he made his way out of the room.

 

“Bye, Kathy,” he said, as he hobbled past the reception desk.

 

Kathy looked up from her game of Solitaire and smiled warmly at him. “Finished already, darlin’?”

 

“Yeah, let’s say things didn't go so well,” he smirked. 

 

He saw Kathy’s eyes flick over to “Justin’s” door and watched as she smiled softly at Jessica - who was standing there awkwardly, looking as though she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

 

Kathy turned back to look at him. “Will we be seeing you on Wednesday?”

 

“Only if Justin is in,” he told her.

 

She nodded her head and gave him a little wink. “Of course.”

 

Brian hurried outside - well, as fast as one can hurry while on crutches, to the taxi rank outside and ordered a car to take him to Justin’s house. 

 

He knew he could text him, call him even and find out what was wrong, but he had the sudden urge to see him, to hold him. Fuck, what had gotten into him?

 

Brian was out of the cab as soon as the car pulled up outside of Justin’s Brownstone apartment. 

 

The cab driver looked at him worriedly as soon as he’d noticed the steep steps leading up to Justin’s front door. “Are you going to be okay, sir? Would you like me to help you?”

 

Brian shook his head and held his crutches in one hand as he hopped over to the railings. “I’ll be fine from here, thank you.” He watched as the driver got back into the car and drove off. It was only then that he realised that he probably should have accepted the man’s help. For the last few weeks, he’d been practising climbing stairs at some of his physio appointments, but the steps outside of Justin’s were particularly steep – and very much made out of concrete. Something he didn't want to end up sprawled out on after falling over. He remembered the last time he was here, and how Justin helped him up them. Maybe he should call him, tell him he was outside and see if he’d come out and give him a hand. It was worth a shot.

 

“Hi, you’ve reached Justin. I'm sorry I'm not able to take your call at the moment, but if you leave your name and number I’ll call you back as soon as I can.”

 

Brian wasn't sure why he bothered listening to the entire message; he must have looked like a fool balancing on the steps on one leg with his phone clutched tightly to his ear.

 

Where the hell was Justin?

 

He shoved his phone back into his pocket and hopped up the remaining few steps, sighing with relief when he made it to the top without killing himself.

 

Brian knocked on the door and waited patiently for Justin to answer. He knocked again after a couple of minutes - just in case he was in the shower or something.

 

Then suddenly he heard something - a muffled scream from the other side of the door.

 

**FUCK!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, remember me? Firstly, I'd like to apologise for how long this chapter has taken me. I started it as soon as I'd finished the last one, but then I got ill with pneumonia and was out of action for a month - and then I struggled to get back into the swing of things. BUT FINALLY, I'm here and this chapter is done. And hopefully, I won't lose my mojo again :)  
> Secondly, thank you for all your wonderful reviews. It really means a lot. Keep them coming, I love hearing what you all have to say.  
> Lastly, thank you as always to Annie_Eliza, the world's best beta, she keeps me on my toes and puts me to work when I'm slacking.


	13. Chapter 13

Brian knocked on the door and waited patiently for Justin to answer. He knocked again after a couple of minutes - just in case, he was in the shower or something.

 

Then suddenly he heard something - a muffled scream from the other side of the door.

 

**FUCK!**

 

“Justin, it's me,” Brian called out desperately. “Open the door.”

 

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. What the hell was going on?

 

“JUSTIN!” He was shouting now, and he didn't give a shit if people were looking at him. “Open the Goddamn door!”

 

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Justin was standing before him. His face scrunched up in pain and his usual porcelain cheeks now pink with embarrassment. 

 

“Brian? Uh, hey...what are you doing here?” 

 

Justin seemed jittery, was someone there with him?

 

“I thought I heard you scream. Is everything alright?” Brian asked worriedly, as he tried his best to not make it so blatantly obvious that he was looking behind Justin and into his apartment.

 

“No one's here – if that’s what you’re wondering,” Justin smiled affectionately.

 

Brian smiled back, a little bashfully. Was he really that easy to read?

 

“Good.”

 

Justin looked ridiculous. He was standing there with his right hand shoved deeply into his hoodie pocket, and was hopping up and down on his right leg like some sort of crazed animal.

 

Scrunching up his face in confusion, Brian couldn't help but laugh. “Do you need to take a piss or something?”

 

Brian grinned when Justin’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

 

**He’s fucking adorable.**

 

“Come in,” Justin said, as he stepped to the side to allow Brian to pass by. 

 

“So, what’s going on?” Brian asked as soon as the front door was closed. “You really freaked me out.”

 

Justin let out a breathy laugh. “What, you?”

 

“Yes, _me_. You weren't at work this afternoon, so I tried calling you and it just kept rolling to voice mail…”

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. I forgot to charge it.”

 

Brian rolled his eyes. “ So I thought I’d come over and see if you were okay.”

 

“Aww, Bria...”

 

**That fucking smile goes straight to my dick.**

 

Brian ignored him and carried on talking. “Then you don’t answer your fucking door.”

 

“I was a…”

 

“And then I heard you scream, and I panicked. I thought you’d hurt yourself.”

 

“I had,” Justin laughed. 

 

“Are you alright?” Brian asked as he stepped towards Justin. His hands reached out on their own accord and began looking for injuries on the smaller man’s body. 

 

“Brian… Brian, look at me. I'm fine. I was asleep when you knocked at the door, and then when I heard you knocking again, I ran down the stairs and stubbed my toe.”

 

Brian’s mouth fell open. “You stubbed your...toe…?”

 

“Yes,” Justin laughed. “And it hurt like a bitch.”

 

Running his hand through his hair, Brian let out a shaky breath. “Jesus Christ, Justin. I thought - I don’t know what I thought, but it wasn't that.”

 

“I'm sorry that I worried you,” Justin said softly, as he leaned forward and placed a sweet, closed mouthed kiss on Brian’s lips.

 

**Mmm.**

 

“Can we sit down?” Brian asked. “My leg is killing me.”

 

Justin nodded and led them over to the sofa, entwining their hands.

 

“Did you see Jessica this afternoon?”

 

“Unfortunately yes. She practically broke me,” Brian scoffed. “But we can talk about that later. Why weren't you at work today? Is something wrong?”

 

“I'm fine,” Justin sighed, “I just slept really awkwardly on my hand last night and I woke up this morning, and it wouldn't co-operate.”

 

Brian looked at Justin’s hand, still buried in the pocket of his sweater.

 

“Does that happen a lot?” Brian asked, remembering how Justin’s hand seemed to cramp up while they painted at ‘Colour me Mine,’ the other day.

 

Justin looked uncomfortable as he squirmed in his seat, “No, it doesn't,” he said as he shook his head.

 

**Bullshit.**

 

It was obvious to Brian that Justin wasn't telling him the truth, but if there was more to this - like Brian believed there was, then Justin would tell him when he was ready.

 

“Let me see it,” Brian asked, as he gripped Justin’s arm gently and pulled his hand out of his pocket.

 

Brian held Justin’s hand carefully in his own. The younger man’s fingers curled inwards stiffly as if his hand was almost locked in place.

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

Justin exhaled loudly, “a little, yeah.”

 

“Would it… would it help if I massaged it?” Brian asked almost shyly. 

 

Justin shook his head and tried to pull his hand out of Brian’s gentle grasp, “It won’t help,” he said bitterly. “Nothing does. It's not my hand that’s fucked."

 

“What do you mean?” Brian asked hastily. He was right, Justin wasn't telling him something. And he had a horrible feeling that whatever it was, he wouldn't like it. 

 

“Nothing,” Justin told him sadly as he cradled his right hand safely in his left. “Just forget I said anything.”

 

**Unlikely.**

 

Brian nodded, “We don’t have to talk about it today,” he said quietly.

 

Justin sat there looking blankly ahead.

 

“Give me your hand,” Brian instructed softly.

 

Justin moved his hand out of Brian’s reach. “It won’t work, Brian. I told you.”

 

Brian put a pillow on his lap. “Will you stop being a fucking princess and at least let me try?”

 

Justin huffed as he placed his hand reluctantly on the pillow.

 

“Now, relax,” Brian smirked, imitating the way Justin spoke to him during yesterday morning’s massage. He started by running his fingers lightly over his wrist and down into his palm, before applying more pressure at the base of his thumb. “Feel okay?”

 

Justin nodded as he scooted closer.

 

Brian stilled his movements. “Tell me what to do.”

 

“Okay,” Justin smiled as he bit his lip nervously, “use this.”

 

Justin handed Brian the small bottle of massage oil he’d used to massage his shoulder.

 

“Make sure you rub it between your hands so that you warm it up.”

 

Brian did as he was told. “Now what?”

 

“Alright, now with your thumbs you need to make soft circular motions across my palm,” he said.

 

“Like this?”

 

Justin sighed softly. “Yeah, exactly like that.”

 

“Does it feel okay?”

 

“Mmm, yeah, it actually feels really nice.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Now you need to work your way up to my fingers - exactly like you’re doing.”

 

Using the pads of his thumbs, Brian continued massaging Justin’s hand. He could already feel the muscles starting to relax and the hand itself had begun to uncurl and straighten out. 

 

“Is this helping at all?” 

 

Justin smiled up at him. “Yeah, it is.”

 

Brian mimicked using Justin’s voice. “It won’t work,” he said, smiling smugly as he continued on with his massage. “Clearly I have healing powers.”

 

“You must,” Justin laughed. “It doesn't really help when I do it myself.”

 

“And you say you’re a trained massage therapist?” Brian teased back.

 

Justin playfully kicked Brian’s good leg with his socked foot. “So what happened with Jessica?” he asked, laughing at the look of utter disdain on Brian’s face when he mentioned her name.

 

“She practically snapped my leg in half,” Brian said, as he concentrated on massaging each of Justin’s fingers individually, loving the little contented sounds it brought out of him. “We were working on my hamstring holds, and she started messing around with my foot, moving it around or something - I don’t know what she did, but it fucking hurt.”

 

Justin ran his left hand through his hair. “Shit. Did she not read any of my notes?”

 

“Oh yeah, she did - just not properly. I'm surprised she even knew how to read.”

 

Justin ran his socked foot back down Brian’s leg. “Go easy on her, she’s only just graduated.”

 

“Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better about her working on me,” Brian said sarcastically.

 

“Do you need me to take a look at it?” Justin offered, as he attempted to pull his hand out of Brian’s grasp. “My hand feels a lot better now.”

 

Brian doesn't let go. “Nah, it can wait until I come in on Wednesday.”

 

“You sure?” Justin asked.

 

“Yep. But back to you; is there anything else I can do to help ease your discomfort?”

 

Justin thought for a moment before his eyes lit up. “Don’t they say a kiss makes everything better?

 

“Mmhmm, I think you’re right,” Brian answered seriously.

 

Justin closed his eyes as Brian moved towards him, his mouth parted slightly in anticipation of what was to come.

 

Brian wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, Justin was **right** there, with his eyes closed, waiting for Brian to kiss the hell out of him. But clearly something inside of him had snapped as he leaned forward and instead of making out - like a normal human being, he playfully licked the palm of his hand that he’d been massaging. 

 

Justin’s eyes shot open in surprise. 

 

“You did _not_ just do that.” Justin squealed as he tried to pull his hand away. 

Brian laughed as he licked it again, this time, more slowly. “Uh, I think you’ll find I just did.” 

“Brian,” he whined, as he tried to wriggle out of the way. “That’s gross.” 

Brian smirked. “Gross? You think my tongue is gross?” 

“Yes, eww, stop it,” Justin laughed loudly. 

“You liked it just fine the other day when it was down your throat,” he teased, as he went in again for another lick. 

“But I wanted that,” Justin huffed. “A real kiss...not **this**." 

Brian cut him off as he leaned forward, taking Justin’s face in his hands. 

“Brian?” 

They kissed softly at first, almost tentatively, until their bodies were pressed together firmly– their lips parted and their tongues met, playing a slow, lazy game of tag. Brian groaned deep in his throat - deepening the kiss, angling his head this way and that in a caress that had spiralled so quickly out of their control. He wound his arms around Justin’s neck and pulled him closer, the need to feel as much of him as possible was suddenly overwhelming. He thrust his tongue into Justin’s warm and welcoming mouth before nipping playfully at his swollen bottom lip. 

“Let me touch you,” Brian whispered almost pleadingly, his voice gravelly with need. 

Justin nodded his head slowly and Brian slid his hands underneath his t-shirt, the feeling of Justin’s warm and deliciously soft skin seemed to send his dick into overdrive. 

****FUCK.** **

Brian knew things couldn't go much further than this, but the need to touch Justin had suddenly proven too difficult to resist. 

He ran his hands lightly down Justin’s sides as their tongues continued their sensual dance. His fingertips teased over his ribs, causing the blond to giggle into his mouth. 

Brian pulled back breathlessly and smirked. “You’re ticklish.” 

“No, no I'm not,” Justin laughed, as he attempted to twist his body away from Brian. 

“Oh, no?” Brian asked, as he lightly traced the outline of Justin’s belly button with his finger. 

“Okay, okay, I am. But I swear, if you keep tickling me like that, I’m going to piss myself,” Justin laughed, as he managed to pull himself away from Brian and stand up. 

“Kinky.” 

Justin snorted, “You’re disgusting.” 

“I do my best,” Brian smiled, as he watched Justin head to the bathroom. “I hope you got there in time,” he called out, causing Justin to laugh. 

Brian was so busy checking his phone that he didn't hear Justin return from the bathroom and him sneak up behind him. 

“Where’s your creepy psycho cat?” Brian called out thinking that Justin was still in the other room. 

Just as Brian was about to turn around and repeat his question, he felt something warm and wet run down his cheek - which was quickly followed by the sound of Justin laughing hysterically. 

Brian wiped at his face and pretended to be pissed off, which only made Justin laugh even more. “I got you back,” he giggled triumphantly. 

“You know,” Brian smirked, “There are far more useful things you could be doing with that tongue of yours.” 

Justin raised his brows innocently. “Oh yeah, like what?” 

Brian slipped a finger into one of Justin’s belt loops and pulled him back around, tugging him into his lap. 

“How about this?” Justin asked as he leaned into Brian and ran his tongue lightly over his lips. Brian could feel Justin melting against him as soon as their mouths touched. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his mouth with his tongue. He felt so fucking good in his arms, that he never wanted to let go. However, the moment was instantly ruined by the sound of Justin’s tummy rumbling. 

Brian pulled away and laughed when he felt Justin bury his face in his shoulder. 

“Can we pretend you didn't hear that?” Justin asked hopefully. 

Justin’s stomach growled loudly. 

“I don’t think so,” Brian grinned, as he tried to pull Justin’s face out of his neck. “Wanna go out for an early dinner?” 

Justin nodded. “Sure.” 

*********

Brian watched as Justin looked around the diner. “I've never been here before,” he grinned. “The food smells amazing.” 

“Amazing? I wouldn't go that far. But if you’re into greasy diner food, then I think you’ll like it.” 

“Do you know what you’re having?” Justin asked over the menu. “I can’t decide.” 

“Let’s see, a black coffee with lots and _lots_ of sugar. And to eat, he’ll have a turkey sandwich on whole wheat, lettuce, tomato, no mayo.” Debbie grinned, as she pulled the pen out from behind her ear and began jotting things down on her order pad. “Am I right?” 

Brian had to stop himself from laughing at the way Justin had jumped at the sound of Debbie’s boisterous voice. He’d forgotten to warn him about her. 

“Deb, this is Justin, Justin, this is Deb - Michael’s mom." 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Justin said sweetly as he gave her a little wave. 

**_He’s so fucking cute…Wait, did I really just think of him as cute?_ **

“Well well well, aren't you just delicious?” Debbie cooed, slapping his cheek gently. “I wanna put that perky little bubble butt of yours between two slices of bread and have myself a sandwich.” 

It was obvious from the look on Justin’s face that he didn't know what to say, so he just laughed quietly, which only made Deb slap his cheek a little harder. 

Brian couldn't help but roll his eyes, he should have known this was a bad idea. There were literally hundreds of places they could have gone for dinner, what was he thinking when he picked the diner? 

“What about you, hun?” She asked, snapping her gum loudly. You want a drier than dry turkey sandwich too, or can I interest you in something a little more appetising?” 

Justin smiled at her as he put in his order. “I’ll have the double cheeseburger, waffle fries, a side of coleslaw and a Coke, please.” 

“That’s what I like to see,” she grinned, “a boy that eats.” 

“I should apologize for her, but if I did that every time she acted that way, I would be doing it all the time,” Brian laughed, as he watched Deb hand their orders into the kitchen. 

“She seems great.” 

Brian smiled - he noticed he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. “Yeah, she is. 

“Have you and Michael been friends long?” 

“Since we were fourteen.” 

Deb winked as she placed their drinks down onto the table. 

“Did you guys meet in high school?” Justin asked, as he hunched over his drink and took a large sip of Coke through the thick straw. 

Don’t look at his lips, don’t look at his lips. 

“Yeah,” Brian said, as he leaned over and stole a sip of Justin’s Coke. “I joined half way through freshman year. I remember he was the only person without a partner in chemistry, so we were paired together. Which was lucky for him, because he was shit,” he laughed fondly. 

“Where did you move from?” 

“Johnstown.” 

Justin scrunched up his nose. “Where’s that”? 

“About seventy miles east of here.” 

Brian looked up as Deb approached their table, and plonked their plates down in front of them. 

“Here you go, boys. “Eat up.” 

Justin looked down at his plate. “Hey, Deb… I, um. I didn't order onion rings.” 

“Oh, I know you didn't, sweetheart. But, this one,” she said as she pointed to Brian, “loves them, and won't order them for himself.” 

“Oh, okay,” Justin laughed as he looked between Brian and Debbie, the affection between them obvious. 

Deb rolled her eyes. “But he seems to have no problem eating them off of someone else’s plate.” 

“Hey, I'm still here, you know,” Brian said, as he reached across and helped himself to an onion ring. 

“I know,” she said, petting his hair gently before she walked off to take someone else’s order. 

“We’re never coming here again,” Brian grumbled before taking a bite out of his onion ring. “Ah fuck, that’s hot.” 

“Serves you right,” Justin chuckled. “Here, have a sip of this,” he said, as he held his drink out to Brian. 

Brian took a gulp and handed the glass back to Justin. “Thanks.” 

“Yor elcum,” mumbled Justin around a mouthful of cheeseburger. “Oh, my God, this is amazing. Do you want a bite?” he offered, holding the burger out to Brian, as he shovelled waffle fries into his mouth. 

Brian waved his turkey sandwich at Justin. “No, I'm good” 

“Your loss,” Justin shrugged his shoulders and continued eating his dinner. 

Sneaking glances at each other as they ate in silence for the next few minutes, they both grinned as Justin nudged a couple onion rings toward Brian. 

“I won’t be able to eat them all anyway." 

Brian scoffed, “You seem to be doing just fine.” 

"What is that supposed to mean?” Justin asked, playfully offended. 

Brian just shrugged, sucking in his bottom lip, as he picked an onion ring off the plate and brought it to the younger man’s lips. 

“Bon appetit, Sunshine.” 

Justin stared down at the onion ring and huffed out a laugh. 

“Out of all the foods you could have fed me, onion rings have to be the least sexy.” 

Brian rolled his eyes but nudged the onion ring past Justin’s lips, getting him to accept the offer. And he absolutely doesn't even laugh once when the onion slides out of the coating, making it hard for Justin to keep the bite in his mouth. 

“Real graceful,” Brian commented, watching his Physiotherapist cover his mouth to retain the manners his WASP upbringing taught him. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Justin mumbled, a flush in his cheeks but his eyes lit up with amusement. 

And then it becomes just about them. Despite the dinner crowd that comes in, they are the only two in the diner. The food disappears slowly and, once it is gone, they sit there for an hour more. 

Brian’s knowledge on dating was pretty limited but he was pretty sure it wasn’t normal to feel this comfortable with someone, especially this early on. It was normal but anything but. It was relaxing but his pulse was quick and he almost felt euphoric. 

It was fucking fantastic. 

********

“Thanks for dinner,” Justin said as they walked back to his car. “It was really nice. I haven’t had a burger that good in _so_ long." 

Brian grinned. “Really? I would never have guessed you enjoyed it.” 

“Shut up,” laughed Justin as he punched Brian’s shoulder playfully. “I hadn't eaten all day.” 

Brian gasped as he cradled his arm protectively. “Hey, ow… you know that’s still healing, you little twat.” 

Justin’s hands shot up to his mouth. “Shit, Brian. I'm _so_ sorry. I can’t believe I did that.” 

Brian couldn't stop himself from laughing at the look of utter horror on Justin’s face. “Relax, it was my other shoulder.” 

“Oh my, God, you’re _such_ a fucking asshole. I really thought I’d hurt you.” 

“No, you’re fine,” Brian assured him, as he backed Justin up against the door of the car. “This is you, right?” He probably should have remembered where they parked, but with Justin’s body pressed firmly against him, who could blame him for forgetting? 

Justin grabbed onto the front of Brian’s shirt as he looked behind him. “Yeah, this is me." 

“Good” Brian grinned, as he balanced his crutches beside him. 

“Why?” 

“Because I really don’t want to make out with you up against some stranger’s car.” 

“Oh,” was all Justin could say before Brian leaned into him, bringing their bodies into perfect alignment as he pressed Justin firmly against the door. 

Justin’s eyes closed as his lips desperately sought out Brian’s. And when their mouths _finally_ met, it was with such ferocity that Brian’s legs almost gave way. 

“Stop,” Justin swallowed loudly as he tried to catch his breath. 

“I don’t want to,” Brian breathed into his neck. 

“We’re not stopping, I promise. We’re just switching places.” 

Brian looked up, his lips red and swollen. “huh?” 

“Here, you lean against the car, it’ll be easier on your leg,” Justin explained, as he manoeuvred Brian into position. “See, that’s better.” 

Brian hummed happily as he leaned back and pulled Justin’s firm body towards him, his hands were instantly in his hair, tugging it softly as their lips crashed together hungrily. He couldn't stop touching him, Justin’s hair wasn’t enough – he needed to feel his warm skin beneath his fingers. Brian gave his hair one last pull before he moved onto the back of his neck - loving the sounds that poured out of Justin’s mouth and into his own as began tracing soft circles against his soft skin. 

It wasn't long before Brian’s hands migrated further down Justin’s body, cupping his ass in his hands as he pulled their lower bodies tightly together with a satisfying moan. 

****His ass fits perfectly in my hands…** **

Brian thrust his hips towards Justin’s, causing their erections to rub against each other through their pants, making them both groan loudly. 

****FUCK.** **

“We shouldn't be doing this…” Justin protested weakly. 

Brian’s hand reached down and began palming Justin through his jeans. “I know,” he panted. “Do you want me to stop?” 

“No,” Justin panted heavily, as he ground his crotch into Brian’s hand. 

Justin pressed their foreheads together as he continued rubbing himself against Brian’s hand. 

****Fuck fuck fuck.** **

“Feel good?” Brian asked hotly as he massaged Justin’s denim covered dick in his hand. The feel of it growing thicker and heavier in his palm was almost enough to make him come in his pants. 

“Wh…what do…y…you think?” Justin moaned throatily as Brian pulled and squeezed at his erection. 

Brian laughed thickly, was this really happening? They were supposed to be taking things slowly…But neither of them seemed to be able to keep their hands off of each other. 

“I'm getting close,” Justin moaned as he shivered in Brian’s arms. 

“Fuck, yeah. Work it, blondie. Fuck his hand.” 

They both jumped at the sound of the loud voice behind them. 

Brian immediately tensed up, stilling his hand. 

“Don’t stop on my account,” the man laughed vociferously. “You looked like you were just getting to the good part.” 

Brian could feel Justin running his hands calmingly down his sides as he stopped rubbing himself against Brian’s hand. 

Taking a deep breath, Justin turned around. 

“Brian?” The man asked, laughing once more. “Are you fucking shitting me?” 

"Do… do you two know each other?” Justin asked nervously as he looked towards Brian. 

“You could say that,” the man snickered. “Couldn't you, Brian?” 

Brian could feel himself starting to shake. “Adam.” 

Justin looked between the two men, the awkwardness clearly evident. “Do you want to go?” he asked quietly. 

Brian nodded his head. He wasn't sure what the fuck was going on, but he knew he couldn't stand there looking at _him_ when he was acting as though nothing had happened. Like he hadn't just walked out of his life for no apparent reason - at what was probably the worst fucking time of his life. 

“How are you, anyway?” Adam asked suddenly like he’d only just remembered what had happened. 

Brian swallowed loudly. “Fine.” 

Justin picked up Brian’s crutches and threw them onto the back seat before taking Brian’s arm and walking him around to the passenger door. 

“Maybe we could meet up for a drink or something?” 

Brian laughed bitterly. “I don’t think so.” 

Justin opened Brian’s door and helped him sit down, then quickly walked back around to the driver’s side. 

“Excuse me,” Justin muttered as he pushed past Adam and climbed into the car, slamming the door behind him. 

Brian watched as Adam staggered away. He was high as a fucking kite and come morning he probably wouldn't even remember bumping into him anyway. 

****Prick.** **

Sighing heavily, Brian closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the seat. He startled slightly when he felt Justin reach across him for his seatbelt. 

“I can do it,” he snapped. He hadn't meant to and he hated himself for it. He wasn't pissed at Justin; he was just so fucking angry at Adam. 

“I know you can,” Justin said softly as clicked the buckle into place. “I just wanted to do it.” 

Brian turned his head to look out of his window as Justin started the car. He could tell Justin wanted to ask him what the fuck had just happened, but that he wasn't going to – and he was fucking grateful for that. He wasn't in the mood to talk. 

“Can you drop me off at home?” 

They’d mentioned watching a DVD together after dinner, but he wasn’t in the mood for it now. All he wanted to do was go home, have a drink and go to bed - alone. 

“Sure,” Justin replied quietly. 

The rest of the ride was silent. Justin focused mostly on the road in front of him, but Brian could feel when Justin’s eyes were on him, watching him closely. He wasn't able to do the same, though, all he felt he could do was press his forehead against the window and wait for the loft to come into view. 

As Justin came to a stop, Brian sat up and stared blankly at the dark, brick building in front of him. The silence in the car was deafening and for the first time, things felt truly awkward between them. 

Brian leaned back and pulled his crutches through the small space between their seats. “Thanks for the ride,” he said, trying his best to avoid any sort of eye contact. 

“Are you going to be okay getting in?” Justin asked. 

Brian nodded and busied himself with getting out of the car. “Yeah.” 

For some reason, the security light outside of the loft wasn't working and Brian misjudged the distance between the car and side walk. His foot rolled slightly on the curb and he had to quickly reach out to steady himself on the car. 

“Shit,” he muttered as he pulled his crutches up to support himself. 

If Brian was in the mood to laugh, he would have, just from watching how fast Justin unbuckled his seatbelt and was by his side. 

“Did you hurt yourself?” he asked worriedly. 

Brian kept his head down as he answered. “No, I'm fine,” he lied. 

Justin reached out a hand, placing it on Brian’s arm. “Are you sure?” 

“I told you,” he snapped, “I'm fine.” 

Justin took a step back, keeping his eyes on Brian as he nodded his head. Brian let out a guilty breath but couldn't muster up even a half-ass apology. So, with not another word, he made his way to the front door. 

“Brian?" 

Brian stopped and closed his eyes. 

“Yeah?” 

“...Send me a text tomorrow to let me know you are alright?” 

Brian snorted, “Sure.” 

“And…,” Justin cleared his throat, “If you need to talk...you can call me. If you want.” 

Brian turned a little to meet Justin’s eyes, albeit briefly, “I’ll keep it in mind." 

Brian only let the eye contact last for a few seconds before he went into the building, headed up the stairs, and collapsed into his bed, alone. 

**TBC.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks as always to Annie_Eliza aka Queen Beta. No one else can finish off my sentences quite like you <3
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think. I love hearing what you all have to say.


	14. Chapter 14

Walking into his apartment, Justin threw his keys down onto the small coffee table next to the front door and made his way into the kitchen. He opened up the fridge, took out an ice cold can of Baja Blast and chugged it down before letting out an almighty burp.

 

“Ooh, excuse me,” Justin said out loud more out of habit than anything else. He then made his way into the living room and settled himself on the couch.

 

As soon as his bum hit the soft cushions, he felt Dowager jump up and make herself comfortable on his lap. She’d obviously missed him as she started rubbing her face against his leg.

 

“Hey, girl! You miss me?” Justin asked as he gave her a little stroke behind her ear.

 

Dowager purred, clearly happy to have her favourite human home with her at last. Justin laughed as he watched her wriggle around until she was laying comfortably on her back - which was her way of getting you to rub her tummy.

 

“How’s that? Feel good, huh?”

 

Ethan would always tease him for having full on conversations with Dowager.

 

You’re so childish sometimes. She’s a cat for christsakes, Justin. Justin could almost hear the derogatory comment and the patronising manner Ethan would use towards him.

 

Justin would often get home from work and would immediately start asking her questions about her day or what she would like for dinner. It wasn’t like he was actually expecting her to answer him or anything. And as strange as it sounded, he believed she understood everything he said to her. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but whatever, it was a nice thought to have nonetheless. And he’d never admit it to anyone, but having Dowager around kept him company and made him a little less… lonely - especially when Ethan would be holed up rehearsing into all hours of the night.

 

He closed his eyes and sighed loudly. He wanted to call Brian to see if he was okay, but he knew he shouldn’t. Brian needed time. Time to think about what happened earlier. And Justin was totally okay with that. He understood it - sort of.

 

It was pretty obvious that the guy they had run into earlier was an ex of Brian's - or at least that is what he assumed. He had so many questions that he wanted to ask Brian, but they’d have to wait. Clearly Brian wasn’t ready to talk about it and for some reason that scared Justin shitless.

 

Was Brian’s reluctance to discuss it because he wasn’t over the ex? What if seeing Adam again had sparked something in Brian - a renewal of interest perhaps? Adam was hot as fuck. It was the first thing Justin had noticed about him. What if, when Brian saw him again, he realised what he was missing?

 

During his mini freak out, Justin had somehow stopped stroking Dowager. She took exception to this and knocked his hand with her head to let him know she was unimpressed. However, even his demanding feline friend wasn’t enough to keep Justin’s mind off the encounter earlier. Was Brian okay? Was he already asleep? God, Justin so desperately wanted to call him - to hear his voice - to see if Brian was alright, but he knew he shouldn’t. In fact, it was probably the last thing he should do right now. What if Brian didn’t want to hear from him? Or worse, what if seeing Adam had Brian questioning whether things would even work out between them? Was there even a them? Had he pushed Brian too far, too quickly? Maybe he wasn’t ready to move on?

 

Fuck, his head had started to throb from thinking too much. Reaching across, he grabbed his pain meds off of the side table next to the couch and threw a couple back with a half empty bottle of water he’d left laying around just for this purpose. Going over and over tonight wasn’t helping with the pressure in his head. Urgh, he needed to do something to take his mind off of Brian, so he pulled his laptop out of his bag and began checking his email. Nothing too exciting there.

 

Suddenly a message popped up on Facebook messenger.

 

Daphne: Yo, you wanna do breakfast at your place tomorrow? I’ll bring bagels…

 

Daphne: And pastries.

 

Daphne: And chocolate milk…

 

Daphne: Justiiiiiiiin??

 

He laughed as he hit reply.

 

Daphne: I can see you’ve read my messages, asshole.

 

Justin: Jesus, Daph, I’m here. Give me ten seconds to type my response before you bug me again LOL

 

He always could count on Daphne to cheer him up.

 

Daphne: Well? Breakfast tomorrow? I feel like we haven’t seen each other in FOREVER.

 

Justin: We saw each other a few days ago… but I would never say no to free pastries ;)

 

Daphne: :(

 

Daphne: :’(

 

Daphne: WOUNDED.

 

Justin: Dry those eyes, Mi Amor… and see you around 9?

 

Daphne: See you at 9, buttmunch. xx

 

Justin: DON’T FORGET THOSE CHOCOLATEY THINGS.

 

Daphne: I shouldn’t know what you mean, but I do. And I won't. Promise x

 

Daphne was pretty successful in taking his mind off of Brian, but the moment they’d stopped talking he had started thinking of him again. Fuck.

 

“I wonder if he’s on Facebook,” Justin said out loud, still staring at the computer screen. Dowager just lifted her head off of his lap and purred sleepily.

 

Before he thought about what he was doing, he’d opened Facebook back up and had begun searching for ‘Brian Kinney.’

 

Damn, how many were there?

 

Justin scrolled through the entire list of people that shared that name but couldn’t find the Brian Kinney he was looking for. That can’t be right, he must have missed it. He scrolled through the list once again, and nope - he definitely wasn’t there. How the fuck could Brian not have a Facebook account? Didn’t everyone have one nowadays? Even his 87 year old grandma had her own profile, sure she used it mainly to snoop on her grandkids, but she had one nonetheless.

 

What else could he look up? Maybe Kinnetik? If he remembered correctly, that was the name of the advertising agency that Brian owned. They must have a Facebook page.

 

He typed Kinnetik into the search bar on Facebook and it was the first company that came up.

 

Kinnetik is an independent, 21st century, Pittsburgh-based advertising agency that creates brand and creative communication ideas to cut through the noise. We translate ambition into results through clear and simple creative strategy, skillfully brought to life.

 

He clicked on the page link that would take him to view the members of Kinnetik’s team.

 

Brian Kinney: Founder and CEO

 

BProfile.png

 

Our CEO, Brian Kinney, founded Kinnetik in 2010. His entrepreneurial spirit, aspiration, and hard-nosed work ethic are deep-rooted in our agency’s culture, and the same principles that he founded the business with are still very much at the heart of his approach today: A ‘can do’ attitude with an ambition for business transforming ideas. Brian has partnered with businesses from launch to evolution including Iconics, Remson Pharmaceuticals, Start Right Footwear and much more

 

Brian has an exemplary vision when approaching his client’s needs. Not only can you spot a Kinnetik ad from a mile off, you can feel it.

 

The picture underneath Brian’s name was absolutely beautiful. How had he never noticed how perfect the gorgeous brunet’s profile was before?

 

Justin rubbed at his eyes tiredly. Shit, he was pathetic, he was getting hard just from looking at a picture of the man.

 

Right as he was about to click on the tiny x in the top right-hand corner to minimise the picture, his finger accidentally clicked on the like button.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he said loudly, startling the sleeping kitty on his lap, causing her to hiss vociferously at him. “Sorry,” he muttered, as he stroked Dowager’s head gently, trying to settle her while attempting to unlike the picture at the same time. The last thing he wanted was for Brian to catch him Facebook stalking him. That would be fucking mortifying and he had no doubt that Brian wouldn’t let him hear the end of it.

 

Once he’d successfully un-liked the picture, he closed his laptop - he was supposed to be taking his mind off of Brian, and all he was doing was making it worse.

 

His stomach growled loudly. shit, he was hungry. Maybe he’d call Daphne and see if she wanted to come over tonight instead - she always brought the most delicious snacks with her.

 

Picking up his cell, he dialed Daphne, who answered after the first ring. Luckily for him, it didn’t take much to convince her to drop everything she was doing (marathoning a T.V show on Netflix and painting her nails) and agree to come over.

 

“Thanks, Daph. It’s just…” He cleared his throat almost nervously. “I just don’t really feel like being on my own tonight,” he explained into the phone. He didn’t say any more, he didn’t need to - she knew him well enough to know that he just needed a friend right now and promised she’d be over within the hour.

 

Traffic was light, so it didn’t take long for Daphne to arrive - her arms ladened with an abundance of snacks.

 

“Hey,” Justin smiled before taking his best friend into his arms and giving her a huge hug. “Thanks for coming.”

 

“Oof,” Daphne laughed as Justin squeezed the life out of her. “Jesus, Jus, could you maybe take the shit out of my hands before hugging me to death?”

 

Smiling apologetically, Justin emptied her arms of the snacks, and dumped them onto the breakfast bar.

 

“Now you may hug me,” she beamed, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist - practically squeezing the life out of him.

 

“Thanks for coming, Daph.”

 

Daphne pulled away from him and smiled softly. “No problem…So, you gonna tell me what’s wrong?

 

How the hell did she know something was wrong?

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Justin said weakly.

 

Daphne raised her eyebrows as she shoved Justin towards the living room. “Don’t give me that shit.”

 

“Daphne…”

 

“Stop fucking whining and tell me what happened with Brian.”

 

Justin’s head snapped up from his place on the couch. “How did you know?”

 

“Are you kidding? We’ve been friends since we were three, Justin. I know everythiiiiing,” she singsonged.

 

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Urgh, you’re so fucking annoying.”

 

“You can talk,” she grinned, as she threw a bag of salted popcorn at him.

 

Justin rubbed at his head. “Ow.”

 

“Oh please, like that actually hurt you.” Daphne laughed as she took a seat beside him on the sofa and handed him a packet of Oreos. “Now open those and start talking.”

 

Justin did as he was told and opened the packet of cookies. He took one out and looked at Daphne as he removed the lid of the biscuit. Then, using his front teeth, he scrapped out the sweet vanilla cream filling before placing the lid back on top and handing the now empty cookie to Daphne.

 

“We’re so gross,” he laughed.

 

“We are,” Daphne agreed as she grabbed the cookie from him and took a huge bite as she leaned back on the couch, resting her socked feet on Justin’s legs. “Now talk.”

 

Justin sighed loudly. “I don’t know what the fuck happened, Daph. It was going so well…”

 

“What was?” She asked softly.

 

“When I woke up this morning, my hand was fucked; I could hardly move it…”

 

“That’s still happening?” Daphne asked sadly as she reached for his hand and stroked his fingers affectionately. 

 

Justin gave her hand a squeeze. “Yeah, it might never stop acting up like this,” he explained. “Anyway, it was too fucked up for me to go into work so I called in. I completely forgot Brian had an appointment this afternoon, so when I didn’t show up he tried calling me.”

 

“And I guess you didn’t charge your phone,” she laughed knowingly.

 

Justin nodded his head, was there anything about him she didn’t know?

 

“Right.”

 

“So what happened?”

 

“He came over – and it was fucking perfect, Daph. He seemed genuinely worried about why I wasn’t there and wanted to check I was okay.”

 

“Aww.”

 

“And when he saw my hand…”

 

“If you tell me he flipped out, I’ll fucking lose my shit, Justin.”

 

“Geez, calm down, Daph. He didn’t. He was actually really sweet about it. He even massaged my hand and loosened ‘The Claw’ for me.”

 

Daphne swooned. “That is so cute.”

 

“And then we messed around a little…”

 

“Niiiice.”

 

Justin ignored her as he carried on. “He then took me out to dinner at this little diner on Liberty… you’d love it. Anyway, we had a really nice time – like a really nice time… I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed myself so much.”

 

“So far this sounds like a pretty good day to me.”

 

“It was.”

 

“So what happened?”

 

“When we got to the car we got a little… carried away,” he smiled dreamily as he remembered the feel of Brian’s hands doing wonderfully dirty things to his body. “He had his hand on my dick and I was so fucking close to coming in my pants…”

 

“You didn’t,” Daphne gasped.

 

“No, I didn’t,” Justin laughed bitterly. “Not for want of trying.” He held up his thumb and index finger. “I was this close though, Daph… and suddenly this guy walks up to us and more or less starts cheering us on.”

 

“Ewww.”

 

“Right? So, I turn around and I’m about to tell him to fuck off and leave us alone so we can finish what we were doing when he goes and recognises Brian.”

 

“Okay… I just… I still don’t understand why this is so bad.”

 

“It had to be an ex, Daph. The way the guy was looking at him like he wanted Brian to fuck his brains out… and Brian completely freaked out. I could feel him tense up in my hands.”

 

“Alright, so you bumped into an ex of his, big deal.”

 

“You didn’t see him; he shut down – said practically nothing to me in the car on the way back to his place.”

 

“Well, it was probably really fucking awkward for him, Jus.”

 

“He’s not over him. I can tell. I can’t fucking believe I let myself fall for someone so quickly. I wasn’t ready, and judging by Brian's reaction to this guy, he certainly isn't ready either.

 

“Wait, I’m confused. if he didn’t say anything to you in the car… how do you even know it was an ex?”

 

“I could just tell. The guy was practically undressing him with his eyes.”

 

“Alright, say it was an ex, just because he got weird about it, doesn’t mean he’s not over him. Are you telling me that if Ethan walked up to you while some guy was stroking your dick, you wouldn’t freak out – even a little bit?”

 

Justin sighed. “Yeah… I would. I just, the guy was totally hot, Daph. I looked at him and I don’t understand what the fuck Brian is doing with me.”

 

“Whoa, hold on a minute. You’re beautiful, Justin... You know what, I can’t talk to you about this sort of stuff without being at least a little high - you’re too fucking aggravating.”

 

Justin scrunched up his nose in shock. “Are you serious?”

 

“Like a freaking heart attack. Now, roll this for me,” Daphne said as she pulled a little baggie out from her purse and threw it at him.

 

It didn’t take long for the weed to go to their heads. They both sat on the floor sharing their second… or possibly third joint of the evening.

 

“Oh, God,” Justin moaned as he handed the smoke back to Daphne. “I completely forgot I Facebook stalked him this evening… can you believe he doesn’t have his own page?” he gasped. “ Who doesn’t have a Facebook, Daph. I mean, that’s not normal, right?”

 

“Your face isn’t normal,” Daphne laughed at her own joke.

 

“Fuck you… Seriously, though, I found his work page, right?” Justin continued, talking a mile a minute.

 

“Right?”

 

“And I’m looking at his picture and he looks fucking delicious and I accidentally LIKED the picture.”

 

“No! You didn’t? Justin!!”

 

“I did! I lived out my biggest fear.”

 

Daphne gasped. “Wait, your biggest fear isn’t being murdered?”

 

“Not even close, Daph. At least being murdered doesn't have the shame afterward. Announcing to someone you stalked them on Facebook is much worse,” he rambled.

 

Fuck, he was high.

 

***

 

Justin awoke with a start, kicking Daphne in the face with his leg as it came to.

 

“Watch it,” Daphne hissed, as she rolled over and pressed her face firmly into the pillow. “I’m trying to sleep here.”

 

“Sorry,” Justin yawned as he began to fall back asleep.

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

 

That must have been what woke him he thought sleepily - but made no effort to stand up.

 

“Justin. Open the Goddamn door,” a loud voice from outside shouted.

 

“Tell your door to be quiet,” Daphne mumbled, pulling the pillow down over her head. “S’too early.”

 

Justin pushed himself up and walked towards the door just as the knocking started up again.

 

“Jesus, I’m coming. Give me a minute,” he shouted as he pulled the door open.

 

“Hi,” Brian said nervously.

 

“Huh?” Justin said as he covered his eyes from the bright sunlight

 

“I said hi…”

 

“Huh?”

 

He could feel Brian looking at him like he was an idiot. “It’s me… Brian.”

 

Justin groaned. “I know it’s you, Brian,” his voice croaked from lack of sleep. “But why are you here so early?”

 

Brian laughed as he looked at his watch. “Early? It’s lunchtime, Sunshine.”

 

“Huh?” Justin walked back towards the couch and looked at his phone. “Shit, Daph. It’s 11.30.”

 

“Don’t care,” she mumbled but got up anyway. “Is my toothbrush still in your bathroom?

 

Justin nodded. “Yeah, it’s in the medicine cabinet.”

 

“Can I come in?” Brian asked hesitantly, as he leaned heavily against the doorframe.

 

Justin rubbed at his eyes. “God, come in. Sorry, I’m still waking up.”

 

“I can see that,” Brian laughed. “Fun night?”

 

Justin looked up and met Brian’s eyes. “No, not really.”

 

Brian sucked in a breath and nodded. “Yeah. Me too. Listen, we really need to talk.”

 

Justin’s face instantly dropped and Brian’s expression went from utterly confused to slightly embarrassed all within the space of a couple of seconds. “Oh shit, I didn’t mean – not that kind of talk, Justin.”

 

Justin couldn’t help the sigh of relief that he let out.

 

“Alright, I’ll leave you guys to it,” Daphne said as she emerged smiling from the bathroom.

 

“Okay, thanks, Daph,” Justin said as he went to stand up, but stopped when Daphne waved him off. “Sit. I’ll call you later,” she promised.

 

Brian waited until the door had closed behind her before beginning to speak.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey...Can...Can I get you a drink or something?” Justin asked as he stood up and started heading towards the kitchen.

 

Brian shook his head. “No, I’m good. Sit back down,” he said as he patted the space beside him on the sofa and waited for Justin to join him.

 

Clearing his throat nervously, Brian began to explain.

 

“About last night, I didn’t handle the situation very well. I know that. It’s just…”

 

“Who was he?” Justin surprised himself by asking.

 

“Adam – he’s my ex.”

 

Justin nodded. “I thought so.”

 

“I saw him and…”

 

“I get it, you saw him and you didn’t realise you still felt something for him… it’s fine.” Justin stood up quickly.

 

Brian reached for his arm. “Is that what you thought?”

 

“Yes,” Justin muttered quietly. 

 

“Fuck, Justin… That couldn’t be further from the truth.”

 

“I don’t understand.”

 

Brian pulled Justin into his lap. “He left me…”

 

“So that still upsets you?”

 

“Will you stop interrupting me?” Brian smiled gently.

 

Justin blushed. “Sorry.”

 

“He left me after my accident. I woke up in the hospital and he wasn’t there. He came to see me, maybe once the entire time I was there.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah… I had no idea what was going on. As far as I knew, things were going great before the accident – so it kind of threw me. I hadn’t seen him since, so yesterday – yesterday brought up all these feelings… and not in the way you think. The only things I feel for him now are anger.”

 

Justin wrapped his arm around Brian’s neck. “I’m sorry. How long were you together?”

 

“Six months… which I know isn’t long to most people, but he… he was the first real relationship I was in.” Brian’s blushed profusely.

 

“I can’t believe he did that to you,” Justin said sadly. “You deserve better than that – better than him.”

 

Brian rubbed his nose into the crease of Justin’s neck and inhaled deeply. “And now I have better,” he told Justin honestly. “I know I could have handled things better. I should have explained all of this to you in the car last night, but I saw his face and I got so fucking angry that I just couldn’t.”

 

Justin smoothed back Brian’s hair and smiled. “It’s fine.”

 

“No, it’s not. I really like you, Justin. And I don’t want you ever doubting that, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Justin nodded shyly.

 

“Good. Now, one more thing.”

 

“Hmm?” Justin sighed as he was planting soft kisses on Brian’s cheek. “What’s that?”

 

Brian moved his head a little so that Justin had better access to his face. “I heard you found Kinnetik’s Facebook page last night,” he laughed.

 

Justin could feel his face getting hot. “Oh, God. Who told you?” he groaned, completely and utterly mortified that Brian had found out.

 

“Cynthia. She runs the the page,” Brian smiled. “Apparently, you liked my picture. I can’t say I blame you,” he teased.

 

Justin buried his face into Brian’s shoulder. “This is so fucking embarrassing.”

 

Brian laughed again. “No, it’s not. I’m sure I’d have done the same if the roles were reversed.”

 

“No, you wouldn’t.”

 

“You’re right. I probably wouldn’t have,” they both laughed. “I couldn’t have anyway. I don’t have a Facebook account.”

 

“I know. What IS with that? Everyone has an account, Brian. I hope you realise how extremely hard you made it for me to Facebook stalk you,” Justin smiled playfully.

 

Brian bit nervously at his bottom lip. “I can’t apologise enough for that. But, now that we have that sorted, are you hungry?” Brian asked, as his hand found its way up the back of Justin’s t-shirt and began caressing the soft bare skin of his back. 

 

Justin nodded his head before turning in Brian’s lap and leaning in for a kiss. After all of the stress from the night before he desperately needed to feel Brian’s warm mouth on his. To know they were okay.

 

And what started out as a soft, sweet kiss escalated rather quickly into something much more. Something desperate and heated.

 

Before long, Justin was thoroughly lost in the kiss, releasing a sigh of relief as their lips moved urgently with one another and their tongues danced together in the warm heat of their mouths. The cinnamon sweet taste of Brian's tongue drew him in even deeper, reminding him of his favourite Ice Breakers.

 

“Mmm,” Brian moaned as he pulled his mouth away.

 

“Why’d you stop?” Justin asked breathlessly - the sound of his own heart was beating so loudly that he could barely hear what Brian was saying.

 

“When I asked if you were hungry, I meant for food. Not me”, Brian grinned cheekily.

 

“I’m always hungry for food,” Justin explained as he peppered Brian’s cheeks with soft kisses. “But right now, I’m even hungrier for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember me? I really can't apologise enough for how long this has taken me to finish. I was doing so well - but then writer's block kicked in and played mean tricks on my brain:/ HUGE thanks to - Cookiebun, Tag, Nichelle, and Annie for jumping into my document and helping me get out of my funk. You girls are the best.
> 
> If you aren't a member already, come sign up to Kinnetik Dreams. We have lots of stories on there that aren't up on here :)


	15. Chapter 15

Leaning back on the sofa, Brian cradled the phone to his shoulder with one hand while the other picked at the bowl of red grapes on his lap.

 

“Come on, Brian… pretty please?”

 

“Justin.”

 

“Pleaseeee?”

 

“Fine, but I’ll never use it.”

 

“YES!” 

 

Brian laughed at how enthusiastic Justin sounded at the thought of making him his own Facebook profile.

 

“You’re going to have to fill it all in because I most certainly will not.”

 

“That’s just because you don’t know how.” Justin teased. 

 

Brian’s tongue snaked into his cheek at the sound of Justin’s laughter. “You little twat.”

 

Justin ignored him as he started work on Brian’s profile.

 

Brian could hear Justin typing away. “What are you writing?

 

“I’m just filling in your date of birth and work information.”

 

Brian scoffed. “You don’t know my date of birth.”

 

“May 10th.”

 

“Alright, but you don’t know what year I was born.”

 

“1981.”

 

“Wrong. 1986.”

 

Justin was laughing so loudly that Brian had to move the phone away from his ear. 

 

“Brian, you know it’s in your file at work, right?”

 

“It was worth a try,” he laughed in return. Maybe having Justin create this whole Facebook thing wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

 

“Alright, what high school did you go to?”

 

“Leave that part blank.”

 

“But what if someone from your high school wants to get in contact with you?”

 

He sighed. “Just leave it blank.”

 

“Brian…”

 

“Honestly, Justin. I have no desire whatsoever to talk to anyone from my high school other than Mikey. So, just leave it blank, okay?”

 

“Okay. Sorry.”

 

Brian felt like an ass. He wasn’t sure why he was being so difficult about this, most people from his high school probably already knew what he was doing. Kinnetik was a big fucking deal and they were constantly being featured in both the local and national press. You would have to be living under a rock to not have heard of Brian Kinney - or his multi-million dollar business. 

 

“What about college? You went to Carnegie Mellon, right?”

 

Brian had started watching television and nodded his head in response, forgetting for a brief moment that he was speaking to Justin over the phone. 

 

“Mmhmm. That’s right.”

 

“Okay. That’s all I need for now,” Justin told him as he continued to type away loudly on his keyboard.

 

“Did you put a picture up?” Brian asked curiously.

 

“Yup.”

 

“One from the Kinnetik site?”

 

“No. One from my phone.”

 

“You have a picture of me?”

 

He could practically feel the embarrassment radiating off of Justin through the phone line. 

 

“Yes…”

 

Brian wasn’t going to ask, but he couldn’t help himself. “When did you take it?”

 

Justin was silent for a moment before answering. “Remember when we went to that diner with Gus? I took it then. I couldn’t help myself… you looked really good.”

 

“I always look good,” Brian teased.

 

Justin laughed. “You really do.”

 

[](http://imgur.com/sEHz9es)

 

Brian tuned out the rest of the conversation and started watching Planet Earth as Justin prattled on about the fantastic profile he had created on Brian’s behalf.

 

 

“Afternoon, Kathy,” Brian greeted as he walked into the PT waiting room a few days later, ready for his two o’clock appointment with Justin.

 

Kathy looked up from her celebrity-filled magazine and smiled warmly at the gorgeous man in front of her. “Well, hi there, handsome. How are you this fine afternoon?”

 

“Not bad,” he smiled back. He was definitely starting to find the rather outspoken receptionist a lot less annoying than he’d originally thought.

 

“Well, isn’t that just fan-dabby-dozy,” she replied cheerily. “Justin is almost done with his last patient, so he’ll be with you in a moment. Why don’t you take a seat?”

 

Brian turned to find a chair.

 

“Or,” Kathy winked, “you could always stand here and keep me entertained. You don't even have to say anything. I just like smelling you.”

 

Brian shivered internally and pointed to the chair he was just about to sit down on. “I’ll . . . uh . . . I’ll just sit here and wait for Justin.”

 

“Well, okay then. At least you’re giving me something pretty to look at,” she beamed.

 

He was wrong, she was _just_ as annoying as he’d originally thought. Maybe even more so - and fucking weird.

 

It wasn’t long before the treatment room door opened and he could hear Justin apologizing to his patient. “Sorry. My printer is broken, so I’ll have to go next door and print these exercises off for you. It’ll only take a minute. I’ll be right back.”

 

Brian watched as Justin jogged out of the treatment room and closed the door, before hurrying into the office next door. Brian found he couldn’t take his eyes off of the younger blond. God, he looked hot in scrubs. They’d not seen each other since their hot and heavy make out session the other night, so Brian was looking forward to a little Justin time - even if their time together would involve some pretty painful leg stretches. He could think of far more enjoyable ways to spend their time together, but he’d take whatever he could get.

 

Brian’s eyes were still focused in the direction of Justin’s treatment room, when the door to the room opened again and out walked his biggest fucking nightmare. The one man he had hoped he’d never have to see again. The man that had tortured his sleep and been the subject of so many of his teenage nightmares… hell, if he was being honest with himself, some of his adult nightmares too. The man looked no different - older and slightly fatter, but he still had that same cold, hard expression on his face. 

 

For a brief moment, Brian thought he could leave before the man noticed him, but he wasn’t fast enough. He turned around and recognized Brian instantly. The man smirked at the look of fear that was clearly written all over Brian’s face. 

 

_Fuck._

 

Brian shut his eyes tightly. He could feel his palms beginning to sweat and noticed his breathing getting heavier. 

 

_He had to get out of there. Now._

 

Brian felt his body tense up as heavy footsteps made their way quickly towards him.

 

“Kinney?” The man sneered. “What a surprise.”

 

Brian’s eyes snapped open and for the first time in twenty years he found himself looking into the face of evil.

 

He stood quickly, the need to get away was suddenly overwhelming. “Kathy, I, uh – I’m suddenly not feeling great.” He explained as he began walking out of the waiting room. “Can you let Justin know?”

 

Brian was out of the waiting room before she could even respond, only getting a glimpse of the man’s scrutinizing stare as he walked jaggedly out into the hall; he didn't stop moving until he was more than a block away from the hospital. Only then did he finally feel comfortable enough to look back and make sure the Coach wasn't following him.

 

_Fuck. Fuck. FUCK._

 

His leg throbbed. He was panting heavily due to not having gone to the gym in god knows how long. His vision was blurry and he suddenly realised that it was because his eyes were watering. 

 

_Fuck._

 

Brian swiped at his eyes hastily and started to limp even farther down the street. Why did he have to take a fucking cab to the hospital this afternoon?

 

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, it was probably Justin calling, but his hands were still shaking and he didn’t have the energy to deal with any of this. He wasn’t sure that he could even tell Justin what had happened. There was no way he’d be able to get the words out - even if he wanted to.

 

By the time Brian eventually got home, he had three missed calls, two text messages and one voicemail from Justin. He’d check them later. All he wanted to do right then was have a hot shower and try to wash away all memory of what had just occurred.

 

After his shower, Brian put on his dark blue robe and made himself comfortable on the sofa - making sure that the drink cart was within arm’s reach.

 

He grappled for the open bottle of JB and took a rather generous swig before deciding he better text Justin back.

 

**Sorry about earlier. Wasn’t feeling great.**

 

It didn’t take long for his phone to beep with a response. 

 

**Do you need anything? X**

 

Did he need anything? Yeah, he needed to get the face of that fucker out of his head and for his heart to go back to a normal rhythm.

 

**No. I’m good.**

 

As expected, Justin answered him quickly.

 

**If you’re sure. But I’m here if you need anything xx**

 

Brian put his phone down and took another swig from the bottle. There was no way in hell he’d get any sleep that night without the help of his good old friend, Jim Beam - throw in some of those strong pain pills he sometimes still took for his leg - yeah, he would definitely be sleeping tonight.

 

When Brian awoke the next morning his body was sore from falling asleep on the sofa and his mouth tasted like something had crawled inside it and died. He groaned, remembering what it was that had caused him to indulge in a cocktail of drink and drugs, and made him pass out before it was even dark outside. 

 

From the corner of his eye he could see his phone flashing, indicating he had a new message. 

 

**Just checking you're okay??? J xxx**

 

**You're probably asleep. But I hope you're feeling better. Xxx**

 

**It's 3 AM and I just woke up to pee. So I thought I would check up on you. Hopefully you're sleeping xx  
**

He couldn't help but smile. It was a nice feeling knowing that Justin was worried about him. It had been a long time since he’d felt that with somebody. 

 

**Sorry about yesterday. I passed out as soon as I got home and only just woke up. Feeling a bit better. Thanks. B**

 

He waited for a reply but Justin was probably still asleep as it had only just gone 6am. 

 

Scrunching his nose up at the smell of stale alcohol that seemed to be oozing from his pores, Brian decided that a shower was most definitely needed. He groaned loudly as he got up - he’d not been in pain like this for a couple of weeks and regretted running on his injured leg yesterday, but he’d had to get away from _him_ as fast as he could. What else could Brian have done? He just hoped he’d not fucked his leg up too much. Justin would kill him.

 

Once Brian was showered and dressed for work, he thought about calling Justin’s office and leaving a message requesting an appointment for later that day, but as soon as he’d started dialing he knew he wouldn’t be able to go through with it. Not today. He wasn’t ready to go back… What if HE was there again?

 

_What a fucking pussy._

 

The day passed pretty uneventfully. Brian had a couple of meetings with the art department discussing some changes on one of their current campaigns and then a skype meeting with a potential client who was based in Portland. He’d received a couple more texts from Justin throughout the day, each one sounding more and more concerned than the last and with each text received, Brian found it harder and harder to concentrate on the work in front of him. 

He knew he should reply, that Justin was just worried, but he didn't know what to say.

 

“Kathy, I’m done for the day.” Justin explained as he slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and made his way past the reception desk.

 

“Alright, petal. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Justin nodded and pulled his coat up so that it covered his mouth. It was freezing outside and he wanted nothing more than to get home and veg out. Brian hadn’t replied to any of his texts and Justin was starting to freak out. He tried to think back to what he could have said to piss Brian off. It couldn’t have been what he’d said on Facebook… could it? That had just been a joke… he knew they weren’t in an actual relationship or were they? But nothing else was springing to mind. 

 

As soon as he got home, he checked his phone again… just in case Brian had texted him back while he was driving and had missed it. He hadn't.

 

He couldn't decide if he was more worried or pissed by Brian's silence. Things were so good between them - or so he thought. Maybe he was more invested in them than Brian was. Well, if he wasn’t pissed off before, he was now. Why did things with Brian have to be so fucking complicated? He threw his phone down on the sofa, giving the chair a little kick at the same time. 

 

“URGH.”

 

He thought briefly about calling Daphne and inviting her over to get wasted, but he’d done that the last time he and Brian had problems - and he didn’t want to give her the wrong idea about the two of them… not until he knew for sure what was going on himself. 

 

So, he decided to get drunk alone.

 

Brian groaned as he looked at the clock on his computer - 5:54am. It was way too early to call Justin, he’d still be asleep… and even if he was awake, would he even accept Brian’s call? He’d been a complete and utter shit to Justin the past couple of days, but he couldn’t help it. Seeing him again had really thrown him. Brian always thought that if he was ever unlucky enough to come face to face with that monster again - that it wouldn’t affect him. That he’d feel nothing. But seeing him the other day had awakened all of these feelings he’d thought he’d left behind and that scared the shit out of him.

 

He wasn’t quite sure yet what he was going to say to Justin, but he knew he couldn’t tell him the truth. It’s not that he didn’t want to… which, okay, was sort of a lie... but he couldn't tell Justin about any of this. And it wasn’t because he didn't trust Justin, he did, which was a surprise in itself… it’s just there were things he couldn’t talk about, pure and simple.

 

6:02, yep, it was still too early to call. So he’d give Justin another hour of sleep before making his move - and in person.

 

Brian went back to looking at his computer and decided the best thing he could do to pass the time was print off some of the things he’d found online that he thought Justin might like. Unfortunately, that didn’t take as long as he thought, and by the time he was done printing off directions and things to see it was only 6:11. 

 

“Fuck it,” he mumbled, as he got up from his desk and gave a little stretch. He grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys and headed for the door, turning back briefly for the dozens of printouts he’d only just printed off.

 

It didn’t take him long to drive to Justin’s, the streets were practically deserted at 6:20 on a Saturday morning.

 

Brian laughed quietly to himself as he stood outside Justin’s front door. If anyone could see him now, they’d probably call the police to report a suspicious looking man lurking around outside.

 

He raised his hand to the door, knocking loudly before pressing his ear to the door in the hope of hearing Justin making his way downstairs. It was silent. So he brought his face up to the small glass window next to the door and tried to get a look inside.

 

_Yeah, this will help you not look suspicious._

 

Brian knocked again, even louder this time - and that’s when he heard him, stomping down the stairs and mumbling - probably bitching at whoever was knocking at his door at shit o’clock on a Saturday morning.

 

_God, why was he feeling so nervous? He hadn’t really prepared himself for if Justin didn’t want to see him. And who could blame him if he didn’t?_

 

The door suddenly swung open and a disheveled looking Justin stood staring at him.

 

“Hi,” Brian greeted him softly. 

 

Justin said nothing and just stood, rooted to the spot.

 

“Can I, uh…” Brian cleared his throat. “Can I come in?”

 

Justin opened the door fully and made his way towards the living room, all without saying a word.

 

“Justin, I...”

 

“You what, Brian? It’s…” he looked at the non-existent watch on his wrist. “It’s fucking early. I’m tired. I haven’t been asleep long. What do you want?” 

 

“Oh, uh, did you... did you go out last night?”

 

He had no right to ask that, but the thought of Justin going out dancing and drinking without him made him feel… he wasn’t quite sure exactly, but he knew he didn’t like it.

 

Justin laughed bitterly. “No, I didn’t go out last night. If you must know, I’ve had trouble sleeping.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah, ‘ _Oh!_ ’ You’ve been ignoring me for the last couple of days, Brian. What did you expect?”

 

Brian couldn’t stop himself from walking towards Justin and placing his hands on his cheeks. “Listen, are you listening?”

 

Justin’s body seemed to relax the moment Brian’s hands made contact, but his face told a different story. He was still just as pissed off, if not more so.

 

Brian knew he had to apologize to Justin, but despite how much he’d grown over the last couple of years, saying sorry was still something he found difficult to do. However, he knew that without saying it he could lose Justin forever. And that was not an option. 

 

“I’m sorry, okay? Work was… insanely busy.”

 

“Mhmm, so let me get this straight. You were working for two days straight and couldn't find three seconds in your busy ass day to text me back with ‘talk later?’ Yeah, right."

 

Brian rubbed tiredly at his eyes. He knew he deserved that. 

 

“Look, I know you’re sorry, okay?” Justin mumbled as he brought his head forward to rest on Brian’s chest. “But, don’t ever fucking do that again, Brian. I thought… I thought maybe I’d done something or said something to piss you off.”

 

Brian pulled Justin away from his chest and kissed him gently on the lips. “It wasn’t you,” he told Justin quietly.

 

“Okay,” Justin said softly - and Brian wasn’t sure if he really believed it.

 

“It wasn’t you, okay?”

 

Justin nodded. “But the next time you decide to go incommunicado on me, just pick up the fucking phone and at least let me know you’re alright.”

 

“There won't be a next time.”

 

“Brian…” Justin wound his arms around his waist and tugged their bodies closely together.

 

“I mean it, Justin. I was an asshole. I… you don’t deserve that.”

 

“You’re right,” he smiled. “I don’t. So don't pull this kind of shit again. I mean it, Brian. If you can't tell me what really got you upset, that's fine. I won't push you. But don't lie to me. Okay?’

 

Brian chewed nervously on his bottom lip. “Okay.”

 

After a minute or two of silence, Justin pulled himself away from Brian and grinned up at him. “Aww, did you really show up at my house at 6.30am on a Saturday just to say you’re sorry? That’s so sweet,” he teased.

 

“I’m not sweet, I’m salty,” Brian laughed as he pinched Justin’s side playfully. “And no. I didn’t _just_ come over here to apologize. I mean, I did come over here for that…”

 

Brian caught himself nervously swaying from foot to foot. He stopped himself but not before the young blond noticed and directed a saucy grin up at him. Justin was enjoying this way too much.

 

“So, I was wondering if, maybe, you wanted to go out somewhere today. I feel like taking a road trip,” Brian offered, haltingly, mentally kicking himself for sounding so hesitant and shy. 

 

“A road trip? Justin asked excitedly as he rushed up the stairs to start getting ready. “Where to?”

 

“I was thinking maybe DC,” he called up. “Or we could just get in the car and see where we end up?”

 

Justin came down the stairs moments later, his duffle bag thrown over his shoulder and a pillow under his arm.

 

“You thinking of taking a nap?” Brian smirked.

 

Justin shook his head as he stuffed his feet into his sneakers. “No. It’s for you.”

 

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t sleep and drive.”

 

“Haha, very funny. It’s to support your leg while _i’m_ driving.”

 

Brian crossed his arms. “I don’t think so.”

 

“You only started driving again recently, Brian. No way should you be making a five-hour drive.”

 

“Four hour drive.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You said five hours, DC is only four hours away. I drive fast. In fact, I bet we can get there in three and a half since we’re getting started early.”

 

“Whatever, I still don’t think you should be driving it.”

 

“My leg feels fine. And anyway, I didn’t invite my physical therapist on a road trip with me.”

 

“I see, so who did you invite?” Justin asked as he desperately tried to hide his smirk.

 

Brian exhaled loudly and smiled. “Clearly the person I am ‘In a relationship with’.”

 

Justin blushed at Brian’s reference to the ‘relationship status’ he’d put up on Brian’s Facebook profile. “I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t see that I added that part,” Justin confessed. “You said you wouldn’t ever use it, but apparently you did go online at least long enough to check out what I’d added . . .

 

“I only went on to see what picture you put up,” Brian admitted sheepishly. 

 

That made Justin laugh.

 

“In case it was a bad picture.”

 

Justin raised his eyebrows, “Oh, please. Like you could ever take a bad picture.”

 

“That is true.”

 

Suddenly Justin stopped smiling. “I can it down if you want.”

 

“No, I like it. It makes me look… ruggedly handsome,” Brian grinned.

 

Justin rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean that… I meant about you...us, being ‘in a relationship’.”

 

“Do you want to take it down?”

 

“No,” Justin sighed softly, “But I will if you want me to. I shouldn’t have assumed.”

 

Walking towards Justin, Brian took the blond’s duffle bag from him. “I think we can safely say you assumed right this time,” Brian told him, giving the happy PT a chaste kiss on the lips before heading out to the car and throwing Justin’s bag in the back then settling himself in the driver's seat. 

 

Justin climbed happily into the passenger seat. “Can we stop for breakfast?”

 

“We haven’t even left town yet and you already want to stop for food?” Brian laughed and squeezed Justin’s leg to know let him know he was only kidding. 

 

“I’ll need fueling up if I’m in charge of looking for fun things to see along the way.”

 

“And who said you were?”

 

“You’re driving, that means _I_ get to be in charge of entertainment and navigation,” Justin explained as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. “Those are the rules.”

 

“Uh huh... There are rules?”

 

Justin nodded as he plugged his iPhone into charge and began looking up places they could stop along the way.

 

“So, do you have anywhere specific in mind for breakfast?” Brian asked as he pulled out of Justin’s road. “You seem to know the official road trip handbook off by heart,” he teased.

 

Justin smacked his arm lightly. “I do not.”

 

“Where are we going for breakfast then?”

 

“The Waffle House… it’s _the_ essential road trip breakfast.”

 

Brian wrinkled his nose. “I _really_ don’t think that it is.”

 

Justin pretended to be offended. “I think you’ll find you are wrong. They serve the finest waffles in all the land.”

 

“I think _you’ll_ find that is pretty damn unlikely,” Brian snorted as he typed in the address of the nearest Waffle House into his car’s inbuilt navigation system. “And that’s a pretty bold statement to make, in _all the land?_ ”

 

Justin nodded eagerly. “Because it’s true.”

 

“I’ll let you know what I think… if I don’t get food poisoning before we get back on the road, that is.”

 

Justin scoffed.

 

“So, there’s an essential road trip breakfast? Are there any other essentials I need to know about before we get on the highway, oh wise one?”

 

“Oh, you have so much to learn, My dear Padawan.”

 

“Are you seriously getting an egg white omelet at The Waffle House?”

 

Brian laughed at the almost comical look of disgust on Justin’s face.

 

“And don’t forget the black coffee,” grinned Brian as he held his mug in the air and clinked his cup against Justin’s glass of chocolate milk. “Cheers.”

 

Justin grinned as their glasses met and then took a gulp of his drink.

 

“Nice mustache,” Brian teased, as he leaned over the table and licked the milk off of Justin’s top lip. “You look hot when you blush.”

 

Justin’s hands flew up to cover his burning face, which only made Brian tease him more, although he interspersed his teasing with plenty of kisses to lessen the impact.

 

They were in the middle of some pretty intense tonsil hockey when the waitress grinned and placed their food down loudly on the table in front of them. “Here you go, boys. One egg white omelet with mushrooms, spinach, and avocado and one ‘All Star’ Special with extra hash browns. Is there anything else I can get you?”

 

Justin looked at the multiple plates of food in front of him and considered her question seriously before answering. “No, I think we’re good. Thank you.”

 

Brian laughed as he sipped his mediocre coffee. “Are you sure she can’t get you anything else?” He mocked playfully as Justin dug into his breakfast with gusto. “There is no way you’re going to finish all of that.”

 

Justin swallowed the mouthful he was eating. “Wanna bet?”

 

Justin leaned back heavily, resting his head on the back of the booth as he groaned loudly.

 

“Eat too much, did ya?” Brian smirked.

 

“Nope, I’ll be good in a minute,” Justin groaned again.

 

If you keep making that noise, I won't be able to contr…”

 

“Won’t be able to what?” Justin grinned, knowing full well what Brian was just about to say.

 

Before Justin could continue, the young blond let out an enormous burp. “Ooh, excuse me,” he muttered, his cheeks turning a delicious shade of pink.

 

Brian snickered. “I take it back. I believe I will be able to control myself just fine.”

 

Justin teasingly kicked Brian under the table before sitting up. “Shut up.”

 

“Are you ready to go?”

 

Justin licked his lips and exhaled loudly. “Yep. But don’t you want to hear about some of the things I have found to entertain us on our way to DC?”

 

“I can think of something we could do on the way to DC that would be very entertaining… but I don’t know if my leg is quite up to car sex just yet.”

 

It was out of Brian’s mouth before he could take it back.

 

“I’m sorry that was…”

 

“No, you’re not,” Justin threw his head back and laughed.

 

“You’re right,” Brian cracked a smile - he seemed to be doing that a lot lately. “I’m not sorry at all.”

 

“So, uh, I was thinking maybe we could take a small detour to Shepardstown, West Virginia for a bit before going to DC? It’s not far out of the way and it says here on their website that there is a world food fair on at the moment.”

 

“More food?”

 

“Hey, it’s at least three hours away. I’ll be ready for lunch by then.”

 

“Of course you will.” Brian rolled his eyes teasingly. “Also, isn’t it a little cold out for a festival?”

 

“I’ll be there to keep you warm, big guy.” Justin winked playfully.

 

Brian took the phone from Justin. “Alright, let’s go.”

 

“Are you sure? We can head straight to DC if you’d prefer.”

 

“No, no. You offering to drape yourself over me like a human blanket is enough to convince me that this is what we should do.”

 

Justin scrunched up his nose. “That isn’t _quite_ what I said.”

 

“It’s what I heard,” Brian replied mischievously. 

 

They hadn’t been in the car long when Justin asked if he could plug his phone into the cigarette lighter.

 

“Can we listen to some music?”

 

“Sure, I think I have a couple of CDs in the glove box.”

 

“It’s okay. I have a bunch of playlists on my phone.”

 

Shut Up and Drive by Rihanna started to play through the car’s speakers. 

 

“What the fuck is this?”

 

“Shut Up and Drive.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It’s the name of the song,” Justin laughed at the confused expression on Brian’s face. 

 

“What else you got?”

 

“Mustang Sally?”

 

“No.”

 

“Hit the Road Jack?”

 

“No.”

 

“The Long and Winding Road?”

 

“No... and what sort of playlist is this anyway?”

 

“The 50 best road trip songs of all time.”

 

Brian smirked. “According to who?” 

 

“TimeOut magazine.”

 

“TimeOut Magazine?” Brian looked at him sideways and if it had been physically possible for him to roll his eyes sideways he would have. 

 

“They’re a British-based magazine. It’s what Londoners turn to, to find out what’s hot and what’s not,” Justin announced, sounding like he was reading the statement right off the website somewhere. 

 

“I know who they are,” Brian scoffed. “In case, YOU didn’t know, they crossed the pond and have publications in a bunch of different cities, including good ole’ Pittsburgh. I just didn’t realize they were significant enough to claim they know the top 50 road trip songs. And I can tell you now, this playlist is not hot,” Brian laughed as he pulled a cigarette out with his teeth and lit it. “You must have something more... appropriate on there?”

 

“Something more appropriate than a road trip playlist?” Justin teased as he scrolled through his phone until he found something he thought Brian might enjoy. “Ooh, how about this?”

 

Under the Bridge by The Red Hot Chili Peppers began to play.

 

“Is this more to your liking, sir?” Justin asked playfully.

 

Brian nodded his head and began to hum along to the song with the cigarette still clutched between his lips.

 

Brian could feel Justin’s eyes burning into him. “What?”

 

“I shouldn’t find you so hot when you smoke, but you look like a young Humphrey Bogart,” Justin told him as he stole the cigarette from him and took a puff.

 

“Humphrey Bogart?” Brian asked, his mouth agape in shock. “Justin, there are so many hotter actors you could have compared me to. Like Brando or James Dean.”

 

Justin chuckled. “You think you’re as hot as Brando?”

 

Brian reached across and flicked Justin’s ear. “Don’t be a brat. And I don’t think I’m as hot as Brando, I’m hotter.”

 

They both laughed. Justin turned up the volume on the music and started to croon along with the singer. Brian shook his head and concentrated on the road. 

 

It was just coming up to noon by the time they arrived in Shepardstown, West Virginia. Brian parked the car and cracked his knuckles loudly.

 

Justin raised his eyebrows in disgust. “That’s gross.”

 

Brian brought his hand closer to Justin’s ear and clicked his fingers loudly, loving the look of repulsion on his face.

 

“This place looks huge,” Brian acknowledged as he looked out the window at the fair in front of him. “Especially for such a small town.”

 

Justin nodded in agreement. “Yeah, they hold it here every year and it gets bigger and bigger each time. It’s insane.”

 

They got out the car and Justin shivered as the cool air hit him. 

 

“You cold?”

 

“No,” Justin lied as he zipped his jacket up to the top and shoved his hands into his pockets.

 

“Come here,” Brian smiled as he held his arm out for Justin to curl into. “And you were supposed to be keeping me warm.”

 

Justin snaked his arm around Brian’s waist and slid his warm hand under his jacket. “I’ll make it up to you,” he grinned.

 

“So, where to first?” Brian asked as he squeezed Justin tightly against him and handed the blond the leaflet that he was given just seconds earlier.

 

Justin studied it carefully. “Wow, they have a whole baked goods section.”

 

“We’re not starting off with cakes.” Brian laughed at the pout on Justin’s face. “How about something that resembles lunch?”

 

“They have a baked potato stall.”

 

“No, a baked potato is a baked potato. There is nothing special about them.”

 

Justin gasped jokingly. “Don’t let the people of Mike’s Baked Potato Company hear you say that.”

 

Brian ran his finger along his mouth in a zipping motion. “I promise they won’t hear it from me.”

 

Justin took another look at the list of places they could try. “Hmm, what about Istanbul Lahmacun, it says here that they offer ‘mouth watering Turkish street food’”.

 

Brian nodded and let Justin lead the way.

 

“Oh my, God, Brian, you have to try this,” Justin closed his eyes and let out a cock stirring moan. “Do you like lamb?” He asked as he lifted the flatbread from his sample platter to Brian’s mouth. “This is _so_ good.”

 

Brian took a bite and let his tongue graze Justin’s fingers lightly before he pulled his mouth away. “Mmm.” Justin was right, it was delicious, but the too quick taste of Justin’s skin appealed to him even more. 

 

“Now try one of these,” Justin said as he popped an olive into Brian’s mouth and watched with glassy eyes as Brian sucked his finger into his mouth. 

 

“What are you doing?” Justin asked breathlessly. 

 

“Tasting the goods,” Brian smirked. “Is that okay?”

 

Justin bit his lip and nodded as he fed Brian another olive, this time he consciously letting a couple of his fingers linger by Brian’s mouth and his breath hitched as Brian nibbled the tips of his fingers. 

 

“I didn’t realize how much I liked Turkish food,” Brian whispered seductively into Justin’s ear. 

 

Justin shivered, but this time Brian was sure it wasn’t from the cold.

 

Just as Brian leaned in for a kiss, he heard someone tutting disapprovingly behind him.

 

He turned around and the little old man behind the counter of Istanbul Lahmacun was shaking his head at the two of them.

 

“What?” Brian asked gruffly. It was 2015, for fuck’s sake. He could inappropriately kiss, grope, and lick the man he was in a relationship with as much as he damn well pleased.

 

“Just leave it, Brian,” Justin muttered sadly as he tried to get Brian to turn back around and face him.

 

*“Onlara bak,” the old man muttered as he shook his head and pointed his finger angrily at them. **“Öpüşüyorlar.”

 

“Baba!!!” A young girl of about fifteen was now standing next to the old man, her cheeks bright red and a look of pure embarrassment on her face. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “He didn’t mean anything.”

 

“What’s wrong, Emre?” A much younger, much more attractive man now appeared next to them and patted the older man on the back softly.

 

“They were kissing. With tongue,” Emre growled, “Inappropriate. Gives us bad name.” 

 

“...Us?” Brian finally answered, confused.

 

The younger man rolled his eyes, “Forgive my fiancé. He’s very old fashioned and lived through some rough times. He can be a bit chaste.”

 

The younger man tilted Emre’s head upwards and met him for a soft kiss. 

 

“Now, is that so inappropriate?” Emre’s fiance joked softly.

 

“This is precious!” Justin whispered with a coo, “I don’t want to interrupt it.”

 

“I do,” Brian grumbled, “I’m hungry.”

 

Justin smirked, “I told you to eat more than that egg white omelet.” 

 

“Here, here,” Emre insisted, piling way too much food on a styrofoam plate, “You hungry? You eat. Ten dollars.”

 

Brian shook his head as he reached into his jeans and pulled out his wallet handing over the money for the food he knew he wouldn’t be able to finish.

 

Justin grabbed the plate from Emre. “Thank you. Your sun dried tomatoes are delicious. And, oh my god, your hummus! How do you-”

 

“Justin,” Brian prompted, pulling at the younger man’s hand, “There’s a table and a band and I want to eat.” 

 

“Have a nice day!” Emre’s fiancé waved, putting an arm around Emre’s waist, “Here, take our card. We have restaurants in Pittsburgh and Martinsburg. Come back and see us!”

 

“But no kissing with tongue,” Emre warned, “That is for home.”

 

“Oh my god, we live in Pittsburgh!” Justin exclaimed.

 

“And that’s the restaurant we’re at the most!” Emre’s fiancé exclaimed back, “My name is Rami, by the way.”

 

“I’m Justin, and this is my...Brian,” Justin introduced. 

 

“My Brian, hello,” Emre greeted, with a hint of humor in his eyes.

 

“Hi,” Brian sighed impatiently, before turning to Justin, “Justin…”

 

“Alright, alright,” Justin laughed, seeing Brian staring at the food, “We’re going to go eat, but maybe we’ll see you again, especially if all of this food ends up tasting as great as it looks.”

 

“It will,” Emre told him confidently. “I cook. It’s the best.”

 

They’d found themselves a table at the far corner of the fair where Justin had demolished a good portion of the food that Emre had forced upon them. They were now sitting comfortably enjoying the live music, which consisted of a rather good looking, twenty-something year old guy playing Jason Mraz covers on his guitar. 

 

“Mmm, this is nice,” Justin sighed as he leaned heavily against Brian. “Did you have enough to eat?”

 

Brian sneaked his hand under the table and squeezed Justin’s knee affectionately. “I did. The important question is, will that last _you_ until dinner?”

 

“Shut up,” Justin laughed as he rubbed his face against Brian’s arm.

 

“You know,” Brian sighed, stretching in his seat, “You may have a fast enough metabolism to eat your weight in a single meal, but I don’t. We should try to work off the calories.”

 

Justin raised his eyebrows and bit his lip, “...And what should this calorie burning activity be?”

 

Brian opened his mouth to reply with something undoubtedly smart and witty, but surprised himself. “Wanna dance?” 

 

After Justin got over the shock of the question, and realized it was genuine, he started to smile. 

 

“Really?” Justin asked almost shyly.

 

Brian stood up and pulled Justin into his arms and they began to sway softly to the music. After a few minutes of Justin resting his head on Brian’s chest, he looked up and stood on his toes and kissed Brian. What had started off as a gentle kiss had quickly turned into something much more.

 

While they were lost in each other’s arms, it had started to snow - lightly at first, just like their kiss, but it wasn’t long before it intensified and began to settle heavily around them.

 

“How ridiculously romantic,” Brian laughed as he tightened his grip around Justin’s waist.

 

Justin looked up to the sky and tiny white snowflakes coated his eyelashes. He looked like a fucking angel. It took all the willpower that Brian had within him not to ravish him right then.

 

“We should probably head back to the car,” Brian said reluctantly. “It’s really starting to come down.”

 

Justin nodded his head sadly, “DC or Pittsburgh?”

 

“It’s probably best if we head back to Pittsburgh,” Brian answered, a little disappointed himself, “Maybe we can do DC next weekend. Or somewhere else. Columbus, New York, Saint Louis, New Orleans-”

 

“So we’re taking a plane for those last two, right?” Justin laughed as they started to walk.

 

“I made the drive to Saint Louis before,” Brian shrugged, “It’s supposed to be a nine-hour drive but I made it in eight.”

 

“And you just stayed for a day?” Justin asked him disbelievingly.

 

“No,” Brian snorted, “I slept in my car. And then it broke down so I got stuck there for like a week, the summer before my senior year. Debbie spent all that week working doubles so that she could buy me a plane ticket. Had to leave my piece of shit car behind.

 

“You were by yourself?” Justin asked, almost slipping from the heavy falling snow, “Careful, it’s slick.”

 

Brian rolled his eyes at the warning, “Yeah. I got...My dad and I had a fight. It was bad. Mikey was visiting his Uncle Vic in Vermont or wherever Vic was at the time and I just took off and drove without anywhere in mind.”

 

“And you ended up in Saint Louis?” Justin questioned, a little shocked, “Damn. What did you and your dad fight about?”

 

Brian’s expression darkened a little before he cleared his throat and muttered, “I don’t remember. It was a long time ago.”

 

By the time they reached the car, the snow had started to heavily blanket the ground. And while some people might find the sight of fresh snow to be a beautiful thing; Brian disagreed. The thick ice that had coated the ground earlier was now being covered over by powdery white shit. The fresh dusting of powder only made it more deceptively dangerous because it concealed the underlying ice.

 

“Be careful,” Justin warned again as Brian almost lost his footing getting into the car. 

 

Brian eased himself into the driver's seat and clutched at his knee, hissing out in pain. “Shit-fuck.”

 

“If you’ve gone and damaged your fucking leg again, I’ll kill you…” Justin warned, and as harsh as his words were, his hands told a different story as they pressed gently around Brian’s denim covered knee feeling for any immediate swelling. “You didn’t hear it pop, did you?”

 

Brian scrunched up his face in disgust. “No.”

 

“Then I think you’re okay.” Justin assured him, his hands now massaged Brian’s tender knee. “We should probably try and put some ice on it as soon as we can, though.”

 

“Justin, we’re out in the middle of fucking nowhere, where am I going to get some ice?”

 

Justin opened the passenger door and scooped up a handful of snow. “We could wrap this in something,” he told Brian seriously.

 

“No, fucking way.”

 

Justin crossed his arms over his chest and huffed out a breath. “Then don’t come to me when your knee starts to hurt,” 

 

“I won’t. I’ll go and see Jessica,” Brian replied playfully.

 

Justin laughed as he started to scroll through his phone. “She’s probably already scared of you.”

 

Brian nodded.

 

“Shit! There’s no way we’re getting home in this,” Justin muttered.

 

“I told you, my knee is fine.”

 

“I’m not talking about your knee. I’m talking about the weather.”

 

Brian scoffed. “It’s just a little snow. We’ll be fine.”

 

“Brian, have you even looked outside in the last ten minutes? It’s coming down like crazy. And, here, look at this,” he said, handing Brian his phone. “They’ve closed a ton of the smaller roads we would use to get home and the highway is a fucking disaster.”

 

“What about the roads to DC?” Brian asked.

 

Justin took his phone back. “Shit. They look even worse. There’s already been one fatality and they’ve had to close part of the highway down while they try and land the air ambulance.”

 

Brian slammed his hands against the steering wheel. “Damn it.”

 

“I’m going to start looking for places to stay.”

 

Brian looked at him and raised his eyebrows. 

 

“I don’t think we have a choice, Brian. There is no way we’re getting anywhere tonight. They’re expecting 2-3 feet of snow in just 12 hours. The Weather Channel are saying it’s the biggest storm the East Coast will have seen in over ***97 years.” 

 

“Okay, well, let’s start looking for somewhere to stay.”

 

Justin was quiet as he searched Google for accommodation in Shepardstown. “Ooh,” he turned his head to look out the back window. “See that huge building over there? That’s apparently a hotel. Let me give them a call.”

 

“Yeah, good luck with that. I’m sure everyone’s had the same idea.”

 

Justin wasn’t listening and had already started talking to the hotel operator. “Hi, I know this is extremely short notice, but do you happen to have any rooms available tonight? You do? Wow, we called you just in time then,” he laughed and reached for his wallet, only for Brian to swat his hand away. 

 

“I’ll get it.” he mouthed.

 

Justin shook his head as he continued to talk. “That’s fine, we don’t mind what room you have left… oh, The Presidential Suite...and how much would that be?” Justin’s face fell as he listened to the extortionate price just given to him. “I, urm…”

 

Brian waved his credit card in Justin’s face. “It’s fine, Justin. I told you I’d pay for it,” he whispered and grinned triumphantly as Justin snatched the card out of his hand. 

 

Justin covered the mouthpiece with his hand. “I’m paying you back,” he promised as he pulled Brian in for a quick kiss. “Yes, I’m still here. We’ll take it.”

The Bavarian Inn was only a five-minute drive away, but with the continuing snow and black ice, it took them about fifteen minutes to get there. 

“Wow, this place is gorgeous,” Justin breathed dreamily as they parked the car. “It reminds me of this beautiful inn I used to stay at in Germany with my parents when I was younger.”

[](http://imgur.com/k3MPHXD)

 

 

“Allo, my name is Louis. Welcome to the Bavarian Inn,” an extremely bored (yet vaguely attractive) French man greeted them at the front desk. “I am the ‘otel’s concierge, so if you ‘ave any questions, please don’t ‘esitate to ask me.”

 

Brian tilted his head, “This place is German. What’s with the French accent?”

 

Justin cleared his throat pointedly as Louis started to suppress a glare, “I think we’re okay.”

 

Louis let out a _hmph!_ but kept his professional demeanor, “Then ‘ere are your key cards. The elevator to your suite is to your right. Please ‘ave a wonderful evening, gentlemen.”

 

Justin reached for Brian’s hand as they made their way to the elevator. 

 

“Your leg feeling okay?” His voice laced with concern at the way Brian was leaning heavily against the wall.

 

“I’m probably just a little tired from the drive,” Brian lied.

 

Justin squeezed his hand as he glared at him.

 

“Yeah, it’s a little sore,” he finally admitted.

 

“Well, it’s a good job you have a personal massage therapist on call, isn’t it?” He grinned cheekily as the doors opened onto their private floor.

 

“Ready?” Brian asked as he stepped forward to unlock their door. 

 

Justin bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet and nodded.

 

 

[](http://imgur.com/EXVu6nl)

“Brian, this place… this place is a-mazing,” Justin gasped as he walked around the room animatedly. Opening the curtains he gasped. “Look at the view.”

 

“I am,” Brian grinned as he watched Justin press his face up to the window and look out over the snow-covered grounds. _“Urgh_ ,” he groaned as he sat on the bed. The ache in his knee intensified.

 

Justin walked over and knelt on the floor next to Brian’s leg, running his hand over the still-healing knee. “Hmm,” he frowned.

 

“What? What is it?”

 

“Would you like my professional opinion on what I think you should do?” Justin asked seriously as he stood up.

 

“Don’t be a twat,” Brian grumbled.

 

Brian watched as Justin made his way towards the bathroom, his hips swayed playfully in his skinny jeans as he put on a show. His eyes widened and he bit his lip when Justin slipped them off, removed his boxers and shirt, then turned his head.

[](http://imgur.com/8vKN92z)

 

“I mean, you _could stop being a twat_ ,” Justin smirked, before giving Brian a full frontal view in all of his naked glory, “Now, follow me.”

 

It only took a second for Brian to stop drooling before following Justin into the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * Onlara bak = look at them  
> ** Öpüşüyorlar = They’re kissing  
> *** The whole biggest storm in 97 years is a big ol' fabricated lie to make this story work, so go with it, okay?
> 
> I hope this long chapter makes up for my absolute rubbishness at posting. Like always, writer's block hit me hard, but HUGE thanks to Annie and Tag for being the best betas and writing cheerleaders a girl could ever wish for. And, guess what? I am almost 1000 words into the next chapter, so let's keep this momentum going, yeah?
> 
> As always, please review. Your comments mean the world to me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ****Warning****  
> This chapter includes a detailed recollection of a violent sex attack on a minor, a detailed scene of a panic attack, and alludes to a flashback.

“Brian, this place… this place is a-mazing,” Justin gasped as he walked around the room animatedly. Opening the curtains he gasped. “Look at the view.”

 

“I am,” Brian grinned as he watched Justin press his face up to the window and look out over the snow-covered grounds. “ _Urgh_ ,” he groaned as he sat on the bed. The sharp pain in his knee had intensified.

 

Justin walked over and knelt on the floor next to Brian’s leg, running his hand over the still-healing knee. “Hmm,” he frowned.

 

“What? What is it?”

 

“Would you like my professional opinion on what I think you should do?” Justin asked seriously as he stood up.

 

“Don’t be a twat,” Brian grumbled.

 

Brian watched as Justin made his way towards the bathroom, his hips swayed playfully in his skinny jeans as he put on a show. His eyes widened and he bit his lip when Justin slipped them off, removed his boxers and shirt, then turned his head.

 

“Well, _you_ could stop being a twat too, you know,” Justin smirked, before giving Brian a full frontal view in all of his naked glory, “Now, follow me.”

 

It only took a second for Brian to stop drooling before following Justin into the bathroom.

 

Leaning against the bathroom’s doorway, Brian groaned at the sight before him. “What are you doing?” Justin’s skin looked practically translucent in the dim hotel lighting and Brian’s mouth watered at the sight of his firm, naked body.

 

“What does it look like?” 

 

Brian found himself rooted to the spot as he watched Justin turn and start to run the bath, pouring almost an entire bottle of the hotel’s complimentary bubble bath into the water. 

 

The smell of citrus filled the room.

 

Brian’s eyes were fixated on Justin’s bare ass, which just so happened to be the most delectable bubble butt he’d _ever_ seen.

 

“Weren’t you listening? I said follow me,” Justin ordered. The hint of authority in his voice went straight to Brian’s dick. The young PT stood there assessing Brian with a predatory look that seemed strangely out of place on the otherwise innocent face but was nevertheless intoxicating to the older man. Without even realizing it, Brian found himself starting to unbuckle his belt.

 

“Did I say you could get undressed?” 

 

Brian gulped loudly and shook his head. This was a side of Justin that he hadn’t expected, and he secretly loved it. He’d always been attracted to confidence, and Justin had it in buckets.

 

Justin placed the lid down on the toilet seat and then beckoned Brian over with a crook of his finger. “Sit here,” he instructed. “And keep your bad leg straight.”

 

Brian did as he was told, surprised at himself that he was simply complying without complaint. He didn’t want to come off as some kind of pussy, but quite frankly he was too turned on right now to care. Justin stood in front of him, naked as the day he was born, his impressive cock now just inches from Brian’s face.

 

Brian felt this almost magnetic force between his hands and Justin’s body pulling them together. Justin swatted them away.

 

“I can’t touch you”? Brian frowned. 

 

He _needed_ to touch him.

 

“No. This is about you. Arms up.”

 

Brian lifted his arms in the air and Justin pulled off his sweater, throwing it carelessly behind him. “Mmm, your t-shirt is nice and soft,” Justin said as he caressed Brian’s cotton-covered chest.

 

“That’s about the only soft thing about me,” Brian muttered quietly under his breath. 

 

Justin chuckled at the put upon look on Brian’s face. “Aw, you poor thing.”

 

Brian tried his luck one more time and ran his fingers down the side of Justin’s thighs and around to that gorgeously round butt that he’d been so desperate to get his hands on. The way Justin’s skin instantly broke out into goosebumps at his tender touch made Brian harder than he thought was even possible.

 

Justin moaned quietly and pushed Brian’s hands away.

 

“You liked that, huh?” Brian grinned confidently. 

 

Justin rolled his eyes and tapped Brian’s elbow. “Of course I liked it. Arms up again.” And there went his t-shirt.

 

“Then, let me touch you.”

 

Justin ignored Brian’s roaming hands, crouched down on the floor and removed Brian’s shoes and socks. He then reached up and placed his hand on Brian’s bare chest, pushing him back slightly, allowing himself more room to open Brian’s now painfully tight jeans. “Rest your hands on my shoulders and using your good leg, lift yourself up slightly.” For the first time in as long as he could remember, Brian willingly followed instructions and he felt Justin carefully slip his jeans and boxers down over his ass. He couldn’t help but laugh when his rock hard dick sprang free and almost took Justin’s eye out.

 

“That could... have ended badly,” Brian panted, suddenly distracted by Justin’s thumb lightly running over the sensitive head of his dick.

 

“It could have, but it could also end _very, very well_.” Justin grinned widely as he continued his gentle assault on Brian’s body.

 

Justin leaned down and joined their mouths for a heated kiss, which was amplified by the nakedness of their bodies. Brian couldn’t help himself - his hand reached up and grabbed at Justin’s hair, pulling their mouths together roughly. 

 

“Enough,” Justin breathed heavily as he pulled back, his lips deliciously swollen.

 

Brian tilted his head to the side and watched as Justin stepped away from him and climbed into the tub.

 

“Climb in,” Justin instructed playfully as he rested against the back of the tub with his legs open to welcome Brian in between them. 

 

Brian raised his eyebrows questioningly. 

 

“What?”

 

“Why do I have to sit in front?”

 

“I want to give you a massage,” Justin explained as he spread his knees further apart and splashed the water in front of him. The tip of his cock bobbing in the water and poking teasingly through the bubbles.

 

Brian stood, his knee throbbed as he put pressure on it, but he suddenly didn’t care. All he wanted to do was climb into the warm water and be wrapped up in those scrumptiously pale legs. 

 

Once Brian was situated comfortably in between his legs, Justin reached for the sponge and ripped open it’s plastic packaging. “Lie back.”

 

Brian sighed happily as he leaned back and the warm water soothed his aching muscles, the feel of Justin’s rock hard cock prodding playfully at his back. 

 

Coating the sponge with the hotel’s complimentary lemon scented shower gel, Justin ran the sponge down Brian’s chest, scooping bubbles up along the way.

 

Brian’s eyes closed and he sighed happily. “Mmm, that feels nice,”

 

Justin threw the sponge into the space in between Brian’s legs and sneaked his hand under the soapy water.

 

“Why’d you sto… uhhh.”

 

Sucking on the back of Brian’s neck, Justin whispered breathily.“ _That’s_ why.” 

 

Brian raised his hips slightly as Justin’s fingers wrapped themselves around Brian’s cock, squeezing and stroking it gently. He didn’t think it was possible, but he could feel himself growing bigger in Justin’s hand. 

 

“Fuck,” Brian groaned as he bit down on his bottom lip. “I tho... thought you... I thought you were... giving me... a ma... massage.”

 

Justin chuckled as his hands worked their magic and he upped the pressure of his hand. “Oh, I am. Was this not what you expected?” He whispered, nipping at Brian’s ear playfully.

 

Brian sucked in a breath and felt himself shake his head. 

 

“Give me your hand,” Justin asked as he stopped his movements and removed his hand from Brian.

 

Brian opened his eyes and watched as Justin linked their fingers and began guiding their joined hands, stroking his cock together.

 

Brian threw his head back as the speed of their strokes increased.

 

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” Justin moaned. 

 

Brian couldn’t have answered him even if he’d wanted to.

 

“I’ve thought about _this_ for a while. Feeling you harden in my hand…”

 

Brian groaned loudly.

 

“Thinking about tasting you, feeling you shoot down my throat. Shit, Brian, when I first saw you, it took everything in my power not to jump you. I had to will my fucking hard on away just from looking at you. And Jesus, the dreams. The dreams I started to have and the things I imagined I’d do to you… and my god, the things you’d do to me. I’d wake up so fucking hard that it hurt. 

 

Brian could feel his body stiffen as it reacted to Justin’s words.

 

“But it wasn’t until that night at Babylon that I knew. That I _knew_ I had to have you. We came so close that night, remember? I wasn’t ready. But fuck, I wanted you so much.”

 

Brian gripped at the tub with his free hand, “Justin, fuck. Pl... please.”

 

Justin kissed his neck and leaned in closer. “But guess what, Brian? I’m ready now. And I’m going to have you.”

 

Brian’s head pushed back hard into the crook of Justin’s neck and he groaned loudly as he felt his orgasm rising, bubbling dangerously close to the surface inside of him. His toes curled and he reached blindly for Justin’s free hand, gripping it tightly as he came, spurting hot cum all over his stomach. 

 

It was then that Brian felt Justin’s body start to shake and his legs pressed painfully hard into Brian’s sides as the younger man’s orgasm poured out of him. He felt Justin’s hot cum hit his back and mix in with the already cooling bath water.

 

Letting go of Brian’s still twitching cock, Justin ran a finger through the sticky mess that now coated Brian’s tummy, swirling it around before bringing his finger up to his mouth and licking it clean.

 

Brian couldn’t take his eyes off of Justin’s mouth as he sucked his finger dry. This was hands down one of the hottest things Brian had ever seen and definitely not something he thought would be happening when they’d set off on their road trip earlier that morning.

 

“Want some?” Justin offered as he ran his finger back down over Brian’s quivering stomach.

 

Brian said nothing but nodded his head and opened his mouth, watching as Justin fed him his own cum.

 

Once Brian had cleaned off Justin’s fingers, Justin stuck his hand back under the water and rinsed himself off.

 

Brian could feel Justin start to stand up behind him and reached around, wrapping his hand around Justin’s now flaccid cock.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Clean yourself up and then come join me,” Justin winked as he climbed out of the bath, grabbed a towel and headed towards the bedroom.

 

************

 

Brian grinned at the sight in front of him as he walked into the bedroom. Justin was laying naked on the bed, his head propped up by pillows, his legs spread wide, while one hand worked his cock and the other played with his nipples.

 

“Come join me,” Justin grinned as he patted the space next to him. 

 

Brian dropped his towel and joined Justin on the bed.

 

“You smell good,” Justin told him as he leaned up and sniffed Brian.

 

“I smell like a fucking can of Lysol.”

 

Justin laughed but continued to sniff him. “Mmmm, I like it.”

 

“You’re so weird,” Brian joined in with the laughter.

 

Reaching across, Justin put his hand on Brian’s shoulder and shoved him playfully so that he was now laying down.

 

Brian grinned. “Smooth.”

 

“I try my best,” Justin joked as he hovered over him.

 

Brian reached up and tugged on Justin’s ear, bringing his head down and their lips together in a soft kiss that quickly increased in passion. Their tongues swirled together, tangling and tasting one another with a fierce need that was stronger than either of them had expected.

 

Justin slowly slid his hands down Brian’s naked, damp body, their tongues never once stopping as he rubbed over Brian’s flat stomach and tickled over his hipbones.

 

“Mmmm,” Brian hummed as he felt Justin roll on top of him, spreading his legs carefully so that he kept his weight off of Brian’s injured knee.

 

Justin pulled back and placed kisses all over Brian’s face, roughly rocking his pelvis back and forth so that their cocks rubbed together.

 

They both shuddered at the friction their bodies were creating as they rutted together like a pair of horny teenagers.

 

Justin couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of Brian… his stomach, his shoulders - it was like the younger man needed to explore every inch of his new lover.

 

Brian heard Justin spit into his hand and jumped when Justin’s cold, wandering fingers found themselves at his hole.

 

“Do you have any lube?” Justin asked as he teased the skin around Brian’s opening.

 

Brian was doing all he could to try and stay calm and not alert Justin to just how fucking uncomfortable he suddenly felt. 

 

“Let me… let me check my wallet,” Brian breathed heavily as he rolled out from under Justin.

 

Brian stood quickly. He usually kept some lube and a strip of condoms in there - or at least he _used_ to before the accident. He’d been sort of out of practice lately. “Shit,” he muttered as he threw the empty wallet to the floor. 

 

“Check mine,” Justin moaned desperately as he continued to stroke himself. 

 

Brian pulled Justin’s wallet out of his pants pocket and shook his head. “No, you don’t have anything either.”

 

“Fuck!”

 

Brian grabbed the white fluffy bathrobe off of the back of the bathroom door. “Stay _right_ there,” he told Justin, tying the bathrobe with shaky hands, “I’m going to ask the front desk if they have any.” 

 

“You alright?” Justin asked him, tilting his head in concern at the sudden change in Brian. 

 

“F-Fine,” Brian brushed off, “I’ll be back, alright?”

 

“Brian-” Justin began, starting to squint.

 

Brian was out of the door before Justin could get his sentence out - but he had to get out of there. He needed a minute. A minute to collect his thoughts. A minute to try and slow down his rapidly beating heart. A minute to try and work out what the fuck he was going to tell Justin. How had he let things go that far? It’s not like he didn’t want it. Fuck, he wanted it more than he was ready to admit. It’s just he wasn’t ready to actually go through with it. 

 

************

 

Justin laid there panting, wondering what the fuck had just happened with Brian. Things seemed to be going fine between the two of them… better than fine in fact. But Brian seemed kind of... nervous? No, that couldn’t be it, uncomfortable, maybe? He wasn’t sure. Maybe Justin was imagining the whole thing. He’d been waiting for this moment for as long as he could remember - maybe, just maybe, he was overthinking things. 

 

************

 

“And I said to ‘im, you look like a disco ball…”

 

Brian cleared his throat as he approached the front desk making Louis, the concierge, jump.

 

Louis’s tone changed dramatically when he realized he’d been caught out, “Please ‘old the line,” he said professionally, covering the mouthpiece with his hand. “‘Allo, ‘ow may I ‘elp you?”

 

Brian wasted no time. “Louis, I need your help. We have what some might call a slight emergency.”

 

Louis raised his eyebrows appreciatively as he took in the bathrobe-clad Brian. “‘Ow may I be of service to you?” he asked flirtatiously. 

 

“I need some condoms and lube _now_.”

 

“Mmhmm. And ‘ow do you think I can ‘elp? Do I look like a condom machine to you?”

 

Brian smirked at the irritated Frenchman, pulled his wallet out of his bathrobe pocket and waved it in Louis’ face. “$20 for whatever you have on you.”

 

“$20? Do I look like a Durex man to you?” Louis asked with a disgusted look on his face. 

 

Brian shivered at the thought of that poorly made condom brand. “Here, how’s $40?” Brian asked as he opened his wallet and pulled out the only note he had left, a $100 bill. “Shit.”

 

“I’ll take it,” Louis said as he pulled his wallet out of the locked drawer next to his desk and handed over the strip of five ‘Crown Skinless’ condoms along with five miniature tubes of Pjur’s ‘Back Door’ lubricant. 

 

Brian whistled, “This is good stuff.”

 

“I use only the best,” Louis grinned up at him, pinching the $100 out of Brian’s hands. “Enjoy.”

 

Once their exchange was completed, Louis picked up the phone and continued his conversation.

 

“Grea…”

 

Louis waved Brian off before turning his back to the front desk. “I told him. I said, nobody looks ‘ot in aluminum. Not even Cher.” 

 

Brian rolled his eyes as he made his way towards the elevator and back upstairs to Justin… who he’d left lying naked and hard on their bed.

 

_Fuck_.

 

Once the elevator doors closed and he began the ascent to their floor, Brian reached inside the robe and adjusted himself. He was hard as a fucking rock. 

 

“Hey,” you’re back, Justin grinned from his place on the bed as Brian pushed open the door to their room and stalked towards the blond, throwing the condoms and lube onto the bed as he shed his robe. 

 

Brian threw himself down next to Justin and pushed the younger man over by his shoulder, kissing him heatedly on the lips. It felt good to be back in control.

 

Justin groaned into Brian’s mouth. “Where did you get th…”

 

“Stop... talking,” Brian ordered as he sucked on Justin’s bottom lip, loving the noises it pulled out of him the harder he sucked.

 

“O... kay,” Justin gasped as their kiss intensified and Brian rolled on top of the smaller man, throwing one knee over Justin’s slim hips and stretching his injured leg out awkwardly beside him, rubbing their bodies together with heated passion.

 

Justin reached blindly next to him for the little tube of lube he’d seen Brian place on the bed. Squeezing some of the liquid onto his fingers Justin reached between them, finding Brian’s hole.

 

Brian jumped slightly as Justin’s cold fingers teased his warm, overheated skin. “What do you think you’re doing?” He smirked, sitting up so that he was now straddling Justin.

 

“What does it look like?” Justin grinned as he slowly inserted his index finger into Brian’s hole, wiggling it around until the tight muscles relaxed a little. Brian’s back arched and his toes curled as Justin worked his finger in and out, gradually gaining speed.

 

“Do you like that?” Justin asked breathily, pulling his finger out gently and teasing the tight skin around Brian’s opening.

 

Brian breathed out heavily through his nose and rocked himself against Justin’s finger. 

 

Justin reached for the lube and coated his index and middle finger generously before placing them back at the entrance of Brian’s hole.

 

Without even realizing what he was doing, Brian lifted himself up onto his knee, allowing Justin more room to play. 

 

“That’s it,” Justin moaned as he thrust his index finger back into Brian, working it in and out a couple of times before circling his hole softly with his second finger, waiting until he felt Brian relax enough to allow him to push another digit inside. 

 

Brian gasped as he slowly rocked himself back and forth on Justin’s moving fingers. His thighs quivered beneath him as his muscles clenched tightly. The hot burn of Justin stretching him open was something he loved, something he craved - but something he usually only did alone, at home, with the aid of his various toys.

 

“Ready for more?” Justin asked as he licked his lips and gently pushed in a third finger.

 

Brian closed his eyes and exhaled loudly as his body got used to the feeling of being filled.

 

“Fuck, Brian... That’s it, fuck my fingers.”

 

Brian let out an involuntary moan as he started to move his body up and down, letting his hole swallow Justin’s fingers and gripping at the sheets when his lover curled his fingers at just the right angle.

 

“That feel good?” Justin asked, stroking the older man’s cock a few times, “Fuck, Brian. You look _beautiful_ like this. Made for this. Rub your nipples, babe. Meet my fingers. Gonna give it to you harder, okay?”

 

Brian nodded, breathless and in fucking bliss, then rocked his hips slowly but steadily, trying to find the perfect rhythm to fuck Justin’s fingers. 

 

Brian could feel his heart pounding in his chest each time Justin moved his fingers inside of him, each thrust increasing in speed and force, causing Brian to cry out in pleasure. Pre-cum gathered at the head of Brian’s cock, starting to leak from the tip, and he couldn’t stop himself from slamming down onto the talented fingers that were giving him what was probably the most pleasure he had felt in fucking years.

 

“Guh,” Brian grunted as he reached desperately for his cock, only for his hand to be shoved away.

 

Justin looked at him intently and shook his head. “No. I want you to cum from just my fingers. Show me what they do to you,” he said huskily as he brushed Brian’s prostate teasingly.

 

Brian’s back arched as the tingling sensations began to flow through his body almost painfully. Each touch shot through him like a lightning bolt connecting the invisible tether between his stomach and balls. One sharp intake of breath and Brian went still, his body rigid for half a dozen heartbeats, and then spasming as hot cum shot out of him in spurts, landing on Justin’s chest. Brian felt like his orgasm went on forever and as lesbionic as it sounded, he was pretty damn sure that he saw stars as his cum shot out of him with such tremendous force.

 

It was only when Brian’s breathing slowed down that he heard the telltale sound of a foil wrapper being ripped open and he turned his head to see Justin removing a condom from its packet. 

 

Grabbing Justin’s hand, Brian took the condom from him.

 

“What? You gonna roll it on me?” Justin asked excitedly as he stretched his body out beneath Brian and wiggled his dick in Brian’s direction.

 

Brian laughed as he held the condom up in the air with one hand and gave Justin’s dick a quick squeeze with the other, “I don’t think so.”

 

Justin reached up and tried to take the condom back. “Then give it to me and I’ll do it myself.”

 

“I said, I don’t think so,” Brian almost growled as he leaned forward and nipped at Justin’s mouth.

 

“Come on, Brian. Get on your back. I want to look into your gorgeous hazel eyes when I fuck you,” Justin insisted as he tried to grab the condom from Brian once more.

 

Brian couldn’t help the way his body stiffened at those words - and not in the way he’d like.

 

Justin sensed the sudden change in him and ran a soothing hand down Brian’s chest. “I… I don’t understand. I thought that was where we were heading earlier… You looked so fucking hot and were so into fucking my fingers. I just thought…”

 

Brian attempted to climb off of Justin’s lap but was stopped by Justin’s hands clutching tightly at his hips. “Yeah, I know.”

 

"Brian?" Justin prompted gently.

 

Brian let out a sigh and managed to meet Justin's eyes.

 

"Justin… I liked it… a lot... Fuck, I loved it. I honestly have never been more turned on in my entire life,” he smiled softly. “But I’m a top. I haven't bottomed in a _really_ long time.”

 

“Oh...”

 

“I've fingered myself and I've fucked myself with toys, but... it’s just… I'm not ready for your fucking huge dick in me, okay? Not yet."

 

"Okay. I guess. Although considering how you reacted just now, I’m surprised you're so set against the idea of bottoming. You seemed to really like it... Maybe even WANT it... Is there some reason why you haven't let yourself for so long? Did something happen to you?" Justin demanded to know, starting to sit up. Brian resisted, pushing back down on Justin's chest and grinding against him. 

 

Leaning forward, Brian sucked hard on Justin’s earlobe before whispering in his ear. "Listen to me,” he said, changing the subject as quickly as he possibly could. “First I'm going to suck you off, then I’m going to rim you until you can’t remember your name, and then I’m going to fuck you until you pass out. Sound good?"

 

Justin could only nod his head as Brian made his way down his perfectly pale body, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses in his tracks. 

 

“Now, let me make _you_ feel good,” Brian told him hotly as he looked up and into those piercing blue eyes.

 

Justin squirmed under Brian’s intense stare and swallowed thickly.

 

Brian made his way slowly down Justin’s body, peppering his neck and collarbone with soft, tender kisses, before sucking Justin’s rosy pink nipples into his mouth and lapping at the soft skin of his tummy, teasing his belly button with his tongue.

 

Reaching up, Brian grabbed Justin’s left hand and linked their fingers, squeezing them gently as he went back to work.

 

Justin jumped as Brian’s breath tickled his hipbones and then _finally_ he was sucking Justin’s cock into his mouth hungrily. 

 

Justin couldn’t stop his hips from bucking wildly as Brian licked greedily at Justin’s leaking slit.

 

“You taste _so_ good,” Brian moaned as he pulled away with a pop, Justin’s thick, spit-covered cock now red, swollen and begging for more attention.

 

Brian smiled up at him before going back down, sucking and teasing Justin’s cock in his mouth. It didn’t take long for Brian to discover that if he sucked gently on Justin’s slit at the same time he played with his balls, that Justin made the most exquisite sounds. Sounds he could quite happily hear over and over again.

 

“Get on your stomach.”

 

It didn’t take long for Justin to flip himself over and lay face down on the bed, his body squirming as his hard cock made contact with the soft, cotton comforter. 

 

“Stay still,” Brian ordered as he rested a heavy hand on the base of Justin’s back. “I’m going to eat your ass.”

 

Justin’s voice was muffled by the pillow that he was currently clutching onto for dear life. “Do it!”

 

Brian took his time massaging Justin’s ample bubble butt, squeezing it tightly and watching in delight as his hands left bright red marks on the blond’s soft, pale white skin.

 

He groaned as he pulled open Justin’s cheeks, revealing his deliciously tight pink hole. “I can’t wait to taste you.”

 

“Do it, please,” Justin begged, “eat me out.”

 

Brian slapped his ass sharply, the skin burned hotly beneath his fingers. “Don’t be such a bossy little bottom,” he teased, as he shimmied down Justin’s body. 

 

Reaching Justin’s ass, he kissed his cheeks before pulling them apart once more. The intoxicating aroma that was so uniquely Justin and one that he had been so looking forward to overtook his senses. Brian made sure to take Justin to the very edge, only to tease him and pull him back, before licking into the younger man’s hole once more.

 

“Brian, fuck!” Justin moaned, “I want your dick in me. I want you.”

 

Brian pulled back and licked his lips hungrily. “Put it on me,” he demanded, handing Justin a condom. “Slip it on my dick.”

 

Justin smiled somewhat shyly, which amused Brian greatly. Watching the cheeks of his formerly sexually aggressive lover turn pink was a huge turn on. 

 

Watching Justin slip the condom on his dick, just like Brian asked, made him want to come right then and there.

 

“Okay,” Justin answered, a little more quietly as he started to lean back, almost hesitant, yet with bright and excited eyes.

 

The look of sheer innocence that was suddenly radiating off of Justin made his own expression soften. 

 

Brian couldn’t help but lean down and place soft, warm kisses on Justin’s neck before he reached down and lightly ran his condom covered cock over Justin’s balls, before continuing down to Justin’s warm and waiting hole. God, there was one part of him that just wanted to shove his cock up Justin’s ass and fuck his brains out as hard and fast as he could, while the other part of him wanted to take things slow, to... make love. That thought scared him slightly.

 

“Are you okay?” Justin asked quietly.

 

Brian met the younger man’s eyes and they silently gazed at each other for one long moment. 

 

Fuck it. 

 

Brian crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss, reached down to coat his fingers in lube, before preparing Justin for his cock. 

 

“Ah, fu-” Justin called out as Brian’s fingers brushed his prostate, breaking the kiss before Brian’s insistent lips sought Justin’s out once more. 

 

He worked his way up, one finger, two fingers, three. Justin was writhing on them and whimpering into the kiss, before pushing on Brian’s shoulders.

 

“Brian, Brian, Brian,” Justin murmured, gasping for air, “Brian, I’m ready.”

 

Brian sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he grabbed the base of his cock and guided it between Justin’s legs, his tip teased Justin’s hole playfully, causing them both to groan in anticipation of what was to come.

 

Justin closed his eyes tightly.

 

“Open your eyes, I want you to look at me.”

 

Justin licked his lips before opening his eyes slowly and wrapping his legs around Brian’s waist as he felt Brian begin to push inside.

 

They rocked together quietly. Justin fumbled with his hands, first running them down Brian’s back before reaching up and pulling wildly at Brian’s hair, smooshing their mouths together in a heated kiss.

 

Their bodies moved together perfectly and pleasured sounds poured out of Justin’s mouth but were quickly hushed by deep, desperate kisses.

 

“You okay?” Brian asked breathlessly as he tilted his hips, brushing Justin’s prostate with each and every thrust.

 

“Guh, fuck… Brian.”

 

Justin dropped his legs from around Brian’s waist and used his feet to push desperately against Brian’s ass. Needing… wanting more.

 

“Harder. I need…” Justin gasped... “you to go harder.”

 

Brian closed his eyes, leaned down, kissing Justin like his life depended on it and then snapped his hips, burying himself into Justin up to the hilt.

 

Justin shouted out at the sudden movement, gripping and clawing Brian’s back, before rolling his eyes back into his head and tossing his head back onto the pillow. Brian pulled halfway out, then thrust back in with just as much strength, before developing a steady, forceful rhythm. The volume of their moans grew, only muffled by each other’s lips as they moved together frantically. Justin shifted his hips down, meeting him thrust for thrust, as Brian increased the speed and felt himself growing close.

 

“Want you to come... on my cock,” Brian grunted out, his balls slapping against Justin’s ass. 

 

It was as if the words alone allowed Justin to let go, crying out as he came in between their stomachs. Still thrusting, Brian reached down and rubbed the cum into Justin’s skin, then pounded into the blond’s sensitive hole, before moaning out his own release.

 

“That was… amazing,” Brian sighed happily as he buried his face in Justin's sweaty neck, inhaling deeply. “Now I’m going to lick you clean.”

 

Justin giggled as Brian wriggled down his body and started cleaning his cum covered stomach with his tongue. 

 

Justin laced his hands through Brian’s damp hair as his tongue worked it’s magic - dipping down further under the covers, pulling Justin’s cock into his mouth and sucking him dry.

 

“Fuck, Brian! Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Justin chanted out, pushing at Brian’s head.

 

Brian looked up and smirked when he noticed Justin’s breathing had increased, and little whimpers escaped his mouth each time Brian’s tongue teased the sensitive head of his cock.

 

************

 

After another two rounds of intense lovemaking, Justin’s stomach decided to let itself be heard and demand to be fed.

 

Brian’s head shot up from where he was busy leaving little kisses on Justin’s hips. “Your stomach sure knows how to ruin a moment,” Brian teased playfully as he pulled himself back up to lay beside the blond.

 

“Sorry,” Justin laughed guiltily. “But we’ve not eaten for hours.”

 

Brian’s eyes twinkled naughtily. “Yes, we have.”

 

“I need more than your cum to fill me up.”

 

Brian leaned in for a quick kiss. “Mmm, I think I did a pretty good job at filling you up.”

 

Justin rolled his eyes at that, “Seriously. I’m like a bottomless pit. You need to know this about me.”

 

Brian got up and walked over to the desk in the corner of their room and threw the room service menu at Justin. “I’m just going to have a quick shower. Can you order me a caesar salad.”

 

“That’s not all you’re having, is it?” Justin asked as he continued to peruse the menu.

 

“Yeah, it’s after seven.”

 

Justin looked up. “And that’s relevant… because?”

 

“I don’t eat carbs after seven… or at least I try not to.”

 

“I think I’m going to order the cheeseburger,” Justin told him, “Pick something else to eat.”

 

Brian put his hands on his hips. “Why does it matter what I’m eating?”

 

“Because I’ll feel like a pig eating a burger while you munch on lettuce leaves,” he pouted.

 

Brian walked back over to the bed and snatched the menu out of Justin’s hands. “You’re a brat,” he told him smiling. “But I’ll have the avocado egg rolls. Is that gluttonous enough for you?”

 

Justin smiled happily. “With fries?”

 

“I have a feeling you’ll order them anyway,” Brian smirked, as he made his way to the bathroom.

 

Justin laughed as he got ready to call in their order. 

 

“They said it’ll be ready in fifteen minutes,” Justin called out loudly so that he could be heard over the running water. “I think I might throw on some clothes and quickly run down to reception, see if they have any movies or games down there.”

 

The water switched off and Brian walked into their room stark naked, with a towel in his hand as he worked away the drops of water that had collected in his hair. “Games?”

 

“Yeah, like a board game… or maybe some cards,” Justin explained as he wriggled commando into his jeans.

 

Brian grinned. “I don’t know… I think we’ve been playing fine on our own, don’t you?”

 

Justin laughed. “I’ll be right back.”

 

************

 

Justin arrived back at their room a few minutes after their dinner had been delivered, arms full of dusty DVD’s and what looked like a tatty old board game.

 

“Jesus Christ, what the fuck is all that?” Brian asked as he walked up behind Justin and watched as he dumped everything onto the desk. “The Goonies?”

 

Justin smiled excitedly. “Yes, it’s one of my favorite movies.”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen it.”

 

Justin’s mouth dropped open. “You’re kidding, right?”

 

“I’m afraid not,” Brian shook his head.

 

“But you’ve seen Dirty Dancing, right?” Justin asked as he held the DVD case in the air.

 

Brian smirked. “Now that I’ve seen.”

 

“Phew,” Justin exclaimed dramatically. “You had me worried.”

 

Brian laughed. “Patrick Swayze was responsible for quite a few explosive orgasms when I was younger.”

 

“Yeah, I remember watching it at a sleepover when I was about thirteen and he made me cum in my pants,” Justin’s cheeks turned bright pink at what he’d just admitted and he covered his face with his hands. “Can we pretend you didn’t hear what I just said?” 

 

Brian snorted and wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist, “Not likely.”

 

“I thought you might say that.”

 

Sucking gently on Justin’s neck, Brian pointed at the grubby looking box on the desk.“What’s that?” 

 

Justin spun around excitedly in Brian’s arms, “The Game of Life.”

 

Brian looked at him blankly. 

 

“You know, _Life…_ ” He cleared his throat. “Do you have what it takes to win The Game of Life? Choose the life you want! Go to college, have kids, or see what happens when unexpected twists change the game,” Justin said in the perfect advertisement voice. 

 

Brian shrugged his shoulders. “I think i’ve heard of it,” he admitted. 

 

“We’re going to have so much fun tonight,” Justin exclaimed as he reached up onto his tiptoes and kissed Brian on the lips.

 

“I thought we already were,” Brian rolled his eyes.

 

 

************

 

“Go on, just one more mouthful,” Justin insisted, as he brought the warm chocolate covered spoon up to Brian’s mouth. “Please.”

 

Brian shook his head. “Get that thing away from me. If I eat any more I’ll look like a slice of chocolate fudge cake.”

 

“Suit yourself,” Justin beamed, as he lightly ran the spoon over Brian’s closed mouth. “Now you’re going to have to lick your lips.”

 

“No, I’m not,” Brian laughed as he picked up a napkin.

 

Justin pulled the napkin out of Brian’s hands and lunged forward, his tongue worked skillfully at the warm chocolate sauce that coated Brian’s lips. “Mmmm, I didn’t want to waste it,” Justin smiled. 

 

************

Swallowing the last of his drink, Brian groaned as he got up off of the floor where they’d spent the last twenty minutes playing ‘The Game of Life’. “You want another?” he asked, grabbing the last two beers from the mini bar - adding the bottle of whiskey under his arm as an added afterthought.

 

Justin’s tongue poked out as he moved his little car three spaces across the board. “Please… ohh, and can you see if they have any Mountain Dew?”

 

“Yeah, they have some. But that stuff will make your cum taste funky,” Brian scoffed in disgust. “You’re not having any.”

 

“No, it wont,” Justin laughed. “Just grab me one.”

 

“Your choice... but I won't be sucking your cock anytime soon.”

 

“Fine,” Justin huffed playfully. “What snacks they got?”

 

“We literally _just_ ate,” Brian laughed as he tossed a bag of chips at Justin’s head.

 

Justin smirked as he ripped open the bag and inhaled deeply. “Mmm.”

 

“Is it my go?” Brian asked as he sat back down on the pillows scattered all over the floor and crossed his legs Indian style.

 

“Yep. And I just went and got myself a nice little promotion at work,” Justin grinned cockily. “I am now an art store salesperson,” he said proudly.

 

Ignoring Justin as he flicked the spinner, Brian moved his car seven spaces on the board before picking up a card. “I’m a fucking strawberry picker.”

 

“Maybe you should have tried harder at college,” Justin snickered, “Oh wait, you decided not to go.”

 

Brian reached over and tweaked Justin’s nipple playfully through his shirt. “I thought it would make this fucking game go faster if I didn’t,” he groaned.

 

Justin rubbed at his chest before he gave the spinner a quick flick. “Awww, yay. I’m getting married,” he grinned happily as he popped a little blue peg into his car. “I’m gonna call him Connor… Connor James.”

 

“He’s hot,” Brian teased, nodding towards Justin’s new groom. “My go.” His tongue shot out as he spun the wheel. “This game is shit,” Brian scoffed, as he threw his card back down onto the board. “I can’t even afford to buy a fucking trailer.” 

 

Justin reached over and stroked Brian’s arm soothingly. “It’s okay, I’ll let you stay with me in my penthouse apartment,” he chuckled - waving his “property” card in Brian’s face mockingly.

 

Shaking his hand off, Brian huffed. “I’m taking out a fucking loan. It’s fine.”

 

Justin’s tongued creeped into his cheek as he tried not to laugh at how pissed Brian was getting at their little game of Life. “You’re sexy when you play board games.”

 

Brian shot him a look. “I’m taking you to bed and having my way with you as soon as we’re finished here, so hurry the fuck up,” he grinned as soon as he’d finished speaking. 

 

The game continued on for another twenty or so minutes, with Brian finally getting married to the peg of his dreams, before hitting other life milestones: sponsoring an art exhibit, winning a best goat competition, getting sued, and kids, kids, and, in Brian’s case, more kids.

 

“How did you end up with seven kids, six of them being girls?” Justin asked, as he counted out the pegs in both of their cars, plus three of Brian’s daughters off to the side of the road since they couldn’t fit.

 

Brian shrugged. “He could never resist me in my strawberry picker’s uniform.”

 

“Oh, wow, so you carried them all?” Justin laughed, as he began to throw pieces into the box. “You definitely maintained your beautiful peg-like figure.”

 

“This conversation is so fucked up,” Brian laughed. “Hurry up packing everything away… and I’ll meet you in the bedroom,” he winked.

 

************

Brian rapped his knuckles three times on their balcony door. “Come outside, you big ol’ baby,” he teased.

 

“No, it’s too cold,” Justin laughed. “And it’s still snowing.”

 

Suddenly, Brian opened the door and threw a small, yet compact snowball in Justin’s direction. “Ah… Brian, you asshole. Seriously, it’s freezing out there,” Justin laughed.

 

Brian shrugged his shoulders and shed his thick white robe, holding his arms out wide to the side of him. His jaw clenched tight as he tried not to shiver as snow landed heavily on his naked body.

 

“I know you’re colder than you’re letting on,” Justin told him. “Your dicks the size of a pickle.”

 

Brian just smirked, “Then come help me make it zucchini size again.”

 

“Zucchini?” Justin chuckled loudly. “I know you’re big, but I think it’s safe to say you’re a decent sized cucumber.”

 

“Just shut up and get out here,” Brian growled as he climbed into the hot tub. His body instantly relaxing as it hits the hot water. 

 

Justin didn’t need to be told twice, he stripped himself of his clothes inside the comfort of their warm hotel suite before running outside and joining Brian in the hot tub.

 

“See, it’s nice once you're out here, huh?” Brian grinned as he pulled Justin towards him and onto his lap, rubbing the lower halves of their bodies together underneath the water. “Just to help us stay warm.”

 

Justin leaned forward and their lips touched briefly as Brian rubbed Justin’s face with his hands. They knew they had all the time in the world and unlike before, neither was in a hurry to move things along.

 

************

 

It was just after ten the next morning, and after a night of intense lovemaking, neither Brian or Justin had yet to wake up. It was only the hotel’s cleaning lady knocking loudly on their door that woke them from the dead. 

 

“Urgh,” Justin groaned as he rolled into Brian’s arms, his nose finding its way into the crook of Brian’s neck and inhaling deeply. “Mmm, tell her to fuck off,” he mumbled sleepily.

 

“Now, now, that’s not nice,” Brian mumbled sleepily.

 

“We come back later, okay,” the cleaning lady called loudly from outside their room. “You need your sheets changed, you call, okay?”

 

“Do you think she knows our sheets are covered in cum,” Justin laughed from his place in Brian’s arms. 

 

“Probably… you weren’t particularly quiet,” Brian teased.

 

Justin sat up a little and rested his head on his hand. “You can’t talk,” Justin told him pointedly. “Justin, fuck, shit. I’m going to fuck you _so_ hard,” he mimicked. 

 

Brian just grinned. “What can I say? You bring out the animal in me.”

 

“What time is it?” Justin yawned.

 

Brian reached for his phone, “just after ten,” he said, before groaning loudly at the large number of calls and text messages from the gang that he’d seemingly missed last night when he’d put his phone on silent. “Shit,” he muttered. “I forgot to tell them we weren’t coming back.” Sitting up, he began scrolling through the messages. “Most are from Mikey, checking to see if we’re okay. One from Cynthia. Oh, fuck, and a couple from Deb,” he groaned again before dialing Mikey back.

 

“Mikey… it’s me.”

 

_Jesus Christ, Brian. Where the hell are you? I left you like a thousand messages.”_

 

“I know, and if you calm the fuck down I’ll explain.”

 

_”Is Justin with you?”_

 

“Yeah, remember I told you we were going for a little day trip… well, we got snowed in.”

 

_”You could have fucking called me, though, we were all really worried about you… **I** was really worried about you. You didn’t sound like yourself when we last spoke.”_

 

Brian shifted awkwardly on the bed and even though Justin couldn’t hear what Mikey was saying, the whole conversation was making him uncomfortable. He remembered calling Michael at some point after he’d seen _him_ but he’d not said anything. He wasn’t ready… or he didn’t want to, he wasn’t quite sure which was more applicable at this point. Brian cleared his throat before answering. “I’m fine, Mikey, I promise. I just… I wasn’t feeling very well.”

 

He could see Justin looking at him out of the corner of his eye, so he got up out of bed and headed into the bathroom to take a piss.

 

_”If you’re sure. Where the hell are you guys anyway?_

 

Brian used his foot to lift the lid of the toilet. “Shepardstown. It’s in the eastern panhandle of West Virg-”

 

_I know where it is. Ben had a conference at the college there before. But shit, Brian. Have you looked outside your window this morning? I doubt you’re getting home anytime soon. We got way more snow than expected._

 

Once Brian had finished pissing, he washed his hands quickly before making his way over to the balcony door and opening the blinds, the phone still clutched tightly to his ear.

 

“Holy shit.”

 

_I take it it’s bad for you guys too?”_

 

“What? What is it?” Justin asked worriedly as he shot out of bed. 

 

“Mikey, I’ll call you back later, but just assume I’m not home until I tell you otherwise,” and with that, Brian hung up.

 

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist. “Shit, I haven’t seen a storm this bad since I was a kid.”

 

Brian nodded. “I should probably call down and see if we can have this room until the snow eases up.”

 

“Good idea,” Justin nodded, “ _or_ we could go down for breakfast and ask them then.”

 

Brian gave Justin’s arms a squeeze. “Always thinking about your stomach… but that’s a good idea. I’m actually pretty hungry myself.” 

 

“Am I hearing things right?” Justin teased, “You, Brian Kinney, are hungry?”

 

Brian removed Justin’s arms from around his waist and started to get dressed. “What can I say, you have awakened my appetite.”

 

************

 

They entered the hotel reception shortly before eleven to the sound of a woman playing the harp.

 

Justin couldn’t help but laugh, “This is like a fucking episode of the Gilmore Girls.”

 

Brian just looked at him, “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he explained. 

 

They walked over to the reception, where Louis was manning the front desk.

 

“Morning, Louis,” Brian greeted warmly.

 

“Bonjour, did you sleep well?” Louis asked knowingly. 

 

“We didn’t sleep all that much, but we did take part in other things throughout the night that were even better,” Brian winked, “Thanks to you.”

 

Justin’s cheeks blushed bright red as he gave a shy smile, it was now all too clear where Brian had so conveniently managed to get hold of the luxury condoms and lube. “Thanks, Louis.”

 

Louis just rolled his eyes.

 

Brian spent the next few minutes ensuring they had their room until the snow cleared up.

 

“Are we too late for breakfast,” Justin asked, his stomach hoping the answer was no, but seeing an empty breakfast room he feared the worst.

 

“Mon chéri, mon chéri,” Louis tutted. “Breakfast?? ‘ave you seen the time, breakfast finishes at 9.30. It is almost lunch.”

 

Brian laughed. “It’s okay, we’ll find somewhere to feed you. We need to head out anyway… we have to buy some more condoms.”

 

Louis gasped. “You used them all? I gave you five,” he stuttered, clearly in shock.

 

Brian just shook his head. “Oh, Louis, my dear, sweet, Louis. You _only_ gave us five. We could have gone on _all_ night.”

 

“My ass begs to differ,” Justin told him quietly.

 

Louis just looked between the two men and shook his head. 

 

“What?” Brian had to ask, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

 

Louis shrugged, “Nothing. I just had you pegged as a secret bottom, that’s all.”

 

Brian can’t help but feel heat rise to his cheeks, especially when he feels Justin studying him a little too closely at the words. But he’s Brian Kinney. If anything, he can turn around a conversation.

 

“That’s for me to know and for you to ponder,” Brian smiles.

 

Once Brian had felt like they’d shocked Louis enough, he grabbed Justin’s hand and led him out of the hotel and into the deserted street. The snow was still falling heavily, but local men we busy shoveling the sidewalks enough so that people could get around safely. 

 

“Be careful. It’s really slippery,” Justin warned as he almost slid on some black ice. “I don’t want you putting too much pressure on your leg to try and stop yourself from slipping over,” the physiotherapist in him couldn’t help but point out.

 

Brian just rolled his eyes but held on tightly to Justin’s hand.

 

They wandered around for awhile, eventually finding a cute little diner that was open.

 

They went inside and sat down. As they were busy looking over the menu, two people slid into their booth next to them.

 

“Emre, Rami,” Justin greeted the two men warmly. “It’s so nice to see you,” he beamed. 

 

It took Brian a moment to remember the two men he’d met just yesterday.

 

“You too, Justin. We were sitting over there,” Rami pointed to the other side of the room, “and Emre saw you walk in and we knew we had to come and say hi.”

 

“I’m glad you did,” Justin smiled.

 

“Did you get our friend request on Facebook?” Rami asked the younger man. “I hope you don’t mind.”

 

“Not at all,” Justin grinned as he took his phone out of his pocket and immediately accepted their request. “ Urgh, I’ve been dreaming about your sun dried tomatoes all morning,” Justin practically moaned. “I don’t suppose they have anything like that here.”

 

“No, the food is okay, but not good like ours,” Emre told him proudly. “But the pancake, they are fine. If we made pancake, ours would be better.”

 

“Emre,” Rami laughed as his husband went on. “Justin, everything here is delicious.”

 

The four sat and ate their lunch together, Justin swapped phone numbers with Rami and promised to call him with his mother’s “famous” lamb meatball recipe. Emre was reluctant to believe it was as good as Justin said it was but was excited to try it nonetheless.

 

They headed back to the inn together, Rami raising his eyebrows in amusement on their pitstop at Baker’s to buy condoms and some other essentials, while Emre tsked at their lack of subtleness.

 

Rami kept a steady hand around Emre’s waist as Justin did the same for Brian on the slippery walkway leading up to the inn before the couples parted ways in the lobby. 

 

“Back to the room?” Brian smirked, waving the paper bag in his hands. 

 

“Yeah, sure,” Justin laughed, “We’ll drop that stuff off upstairs and go for a walk out back.”

 

“We just went for a walk,” Brian sighed.

 

“But it looked beautiful out there,” Justin insisted, “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

 

Brian found himself obeying the younger man’s wishes and even found himself holding Justin’s hand as they walked around back. Christ, he could get him to do practically anything. It should scare him more than it does.

 

But he can’t constantly stay romantic. It’s not in his nature and it was important that Justin know that.

 

So Brian drove that point home when he pushed Justin into a snowbank.

 

“Brian!” Justin shouted out, laughing, “You suck.”

 

Brian burst out in laughter of his own when Justin tried to get up, only to fall back down again. 

 

“Help me up,” Justin demanded, holding an arm up.

 

Brian rolled his eyes, but took Justin’s hand.

 

Only to be pulled down with him.

 

“As your physiotherapist, I feel like I shouldn’t have done that,” Justin told him, “But as your boyfriend, you kind of deserved it. You’re okay, though, right-”

 

Brian cut him off with a kiss, cradling Justin’s cheeks with his gloved hands. Justin wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist, before moving his hands to his ass.

 

“God, I really want to fuck you,” Justin groaned, as Brian rubbed his denim covered hard-on against Justin’s crotch. 

 

“I want that too,” Brian breathed out, kissing him again, “Fuck, you turn me on so much. I’m not ready yet, but...but soon, okay?”

 

Justin nodded, “I’ll make you feel so good.”

 

“It’d make the top three for sure,” Brian murmured, biting Justin’s lip. 

 

“Fuck, do you have lube?”

 

Brian stared at him, “You want to fuck in a pile of snow.”

 

“No, I just want to fool around in a pile of snow,” Justin smiled, before taking off his gloves, unbuttoning Brian’s jeans, and sticking the tips of his fingers inside Brian’s waistband. Brian shivered, then quickly retrieved a small bottle of lube from his pocket to hand to Justin.

 

“...Fingers only. No more than three,” he let Justin know, “And work your way up before you pound me with them.”

 

“I would never do anything less. I’m a gentleman,” Justin scoffed, then grinned before bringing Brian down for a kiss again. 

 

Justin took his left hand to pour lube over the fingers on his right, then moved Brian’s pants down just enough to expose the older man’s ass.

 

“Fuck, it’s cold,” Brian laughed into Justin’s shoulder, while Justin traced Brian’s crack and stroked at his entrance, “No one better come walking past.”

 

“We’re out of the way and no one wants to leave the inn due to the snow anyway,” Justin shushed him, as he slowly worked one finger in, “It’s okay. Just relax and enjoy it.”

 

It took Brian a minute, maybe due to the cold or the fact he was exposed, but he began rocking his hips back on Justin’s fingers once the second finger was added. When Justin managed to get the third finger to pop past the sphincter and began to thrust them in at a rougher and steady pace, Brian began to breathe harshly into his shoulder and practically whine.

 

“What is it, Brian?” Justin asked him, taking his free hand to rub the nape of his neck.

 

“Fuck, Justin. I want it harder,” Brian moaned out, shoving himself on Justin’s fingers.

 

Justin kissed Brian’s cheek and nodded before pulling his fingers out to rearrange them so that Brian was on all fours and Justin was sitting on his knees behind him. After looking around to make sure they were completely alone, Justin turned to stare at Brian’s winking hole, only to feel a shiver course through his body.

 

Wrapping his left arm around Brian’s waist to hold him completely steady, Justin nipped at his ass and gave the older man’s hole a few licks before thrusting his fingers back in.

 

“Let me know if it gets to be too much for you, alright? I’m going to keep giving it to you harder and harder until you tell me to it’s too much. And remember, I’ll _always_ listen to you, okay? If you need me to stop, I will.”

 

Brian nodded, letting out a shaky breath, before rocking his hips back onto Justin’s fingers once more.

 

Fuck, the sight of it was hot. Justin almost _wanted_ to go slow, just so that he could keep watching Brian fuck himself on his fingers, back and forth, consistently, as if he needed it. 

 

And Justin had to wonder if Brian did. If this was an integral part of Brian that he had been repressing for a long time, that it was who he should have been in the bedroom but for some reason wasn’t. He looked fucking beautiful like this, like he was made for it. Why Brian would be ashamed to let himself be a bottom when he seemed to enjoy it so much concerned him. Brian was a fantastic top, god fantastic wasn’t even cutting it. But he had never looked this wrecked and undone while he had fucked Justin. He had been in control, set on giving Justin the type of pleasure he found so hard to accept for himself. 

 

Justin hadn’t minded one bit. All Ethan wanted to do was bottom and had honestly had been subpar when Justin managed to talk him into topping the maybe five times he had done it. It had been disappointing, because Justin liked bottoming, despite Ethan’s hesitations, but ultimately, he was a top for the most part and that is probably why their relationship hadn’t ended sooner. 

 

But with Brian? He had never been turned on more by a man in his life. He was falling hard for him. All of him. And he wanted to help him open up and accept the things he really craved out of sex and their budding relationship.

 

“God, Justin, fuck!” Brian moaned out, rocking back and forth as he cried out, “Harder, fuck fuck fuck fuck!”

 

Justin got a better grip on Brian’s waist and lifted his ass up a little, ramming his fingers in and out of his tight hole at lightning speed, leaving Brian practically sobbing at the sensation. 

 

“It’s okay, Babe. Shhh, shhh. Let it out. Let me see you cum,” Justin rasped out.

 

Brian let out a few more cries, before letting himself shoot his cum onto the snow. 

 

Brian’s left gasping into his gloved hands, before Justin pulls his own jeans down, thanking whatever higher power that existed that the cold air kept him from losing his erection. 

 

“I’m not going to fuck you. I know you’re not ready,” Justin murmured, letting his heavy cock fall between Brian’s cheeks, “I’m just going to move it against your hole, alright? I’ll make sure I won’t cum between your cheeks. I think you’ll like it.”

 

Looking over Brian’s shoulder, Justin saw the man nod and push his ass back. Reaching under Brian’s jacket and shirt, he rubs the man’s back before letting himself thrust up and down. Justin gasped as he felt Brian’s hole twitch against his cock, as if he were bearing down in preparation to be fucked. Justin quickened his pace and held Brian’s cheeks together to create more friction. When he knew he couldn’t hold back any longer, Justin pulled away, stroked his cock, and let himself cum on Brian’s right cheek, all while his partner waited almost patiently for him to let every last drop land on his skin. 

 

Justin bit his lip as Brian gasped at the sensation of the cum slowly dripping down his ass and onto his thigh, but Justin kept a steadying hand on the small of Brian’s back to let him know to stay still. 

 

Fuck, if Brian would have been open to it, he would be so tempted to take a picture. This had to be the hottest thing he had ever seen. 

 

“You were so great, Brian, fuck,” Justin tells him, “You look so hot like this. I don’t want to take my eyes off of you.”

 

Brian let out a breathless laugh at that then, almost shyly, said, “Take a picture. It’ll last longer. Unless your cum permanently freezes to my ass.”

 

“Wait, seriously?” Justin asked, not sure if he heard right, “You’d let me take a picture.”

 

Brian seemed to think on it a moment, before bending down further, pushing his shirt and jacket up, and giving Justin this warning: “No face, no identifiable clothing, no uploading it to any porn sites.”

 

“I wouldn’t do that. _Ever_ ,” Justin informed him, slightly offended, but took out his phone anyway, “I’ll even send it to one of my lesser known, but well-protected emails, then delete it from my phone.”

 

“Oh, Justin. You are such a gentleman,” Brian snorted.

 

Justin couldn’t help himself when he took pictures from a few different angles, two of them capturing both Brian’s lubed and stretched hole and the splattered cum in perfect lighting. Once Justin was satisfied, he rubbed the cum into Brian’s skin, almost in a possessive manner, then pulled the older man’s jeans back up onto his hips. 

 

Brian turned around and sat back up in the snow, before Justin crawled closer, trying to figure out how Brian was going to react.

 

“I think you gave my ass frostbite,” Brian finally laughed, grinning stupidly.

 

“And yet you’re still sitting in the snow,” Justin teased, breathing a sigh of relief.

 

“I can’t feel anything, it will probably have to be amputated,” Brian answered dramatically, “It’s a shame, since I have just only recently learned what a strong, capable top my lover is. Whatever will I do-”

 

Justin launched himself at Brian, attacking his lips with his own. Brian wrapped his arms around him and accepted the kiss fully.

\-------------

They spend the next couple of days waiting for the snow to melt. They do explore a little, despite only a few shops being open, and they have a couple of meals with Emre and Rami, which is great because, despite the short amount of time that has past, Justin and Rami really hit it off and are already making plans to hang out in Pittsburgh. 

 

And, god, do they fuck. _A lot._

 

Brian had topped every time a dick in the ass was involved. And that was fine. It felt fucking fantastic and the fact that Brian was letting Justin finger fuck him possibly even more so evened things out. It may take a while, but Justin was relatively confident that Brian would eventually let Justin top him fully. And, Justin hoped, they could work together to make Brian comfortable enough to accept his preferences from there.

************

 

As they had the first night they were together, they laid in bed spooning with Brian curled tightly around Justin’s back and his arms wrapped snugly around Justin’s waist.

 

“It’s,” Brian cleared his throat nervously, “It’s not that I don’t want to,” he admitted quietly.

 

“Hmmm,” Justin mumbled half asleep.

 

“You have no idea just how much I want to… it’s just.”

 

“Wha-?” Justin tried to turn around but Brian held him still.

 

“It’s just that…When I was...” Brian struggled to continue and Justin could feel his body stiffen behind him.

 

“It’s okay,” Justin whispered into the darkness as he reached for one of Brian’s hands and squeezed it tightly. “If you’re not ready to tell me.”

 

“I want to tell you though,” Brian told him quietly. “I need to tell you.”

 

Justin stayed quiet, he knew Brian would talk when he was ready.

 

“I was fourteen… and horny, really fucking horny,” he laughed bitterly.

 

Justin felt his stomach drop at those words. Fourteen. What the fuck could have happened to him at fourteen? All sorts of scary shit was starting to run through his brain and he was beginning to freak himself out.

 

Brian swallowed loudly, “It used to be the highlight of my week.”

 

“What was?” Justin asked softly.

 

“Gym class.”

 

Justin listened patiently, scared that if he said anything else that Brian would stop talking.

 

“He knew I was gay, he never said anything but _he_ knew.”

 

Justin shivered, he didn’t like where this was going. He held on tightly to Brian’s hand and silently encouraged him to continue.

 

“It was probably my own fault. It’s all I could think about, you know? I knew I wanted something - I just didn’t know what it was that I wanted. That probably doesn’t make any sense,” he sighed.

 

No, None of this made any sense to Justin, but Brian was talking and he didn’t want to stop him.

 

“I remember one day after gym class he asked me to stay behind.”

 

Justin felt sick to his stomach. He’d wanted to believe Brian had been talking about another pupil in his class, but the more Brian talked, the less likely that seemed.

 

“And I was so excited - I remember having butterflies in my stomach as I waited for everyone to leave the locker room so he could talk to me. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen.”

 

“What did happen?” Justin had to ask, after Brian stopped talking.

 

“Once everyone had left, he sat down on the bench next to me… told me how great I’d played that day and that if I kept it up, I’d easily get into college with a soccer scholarship… I remember feeling...so fucking proud of myself. And it… it felt really good to have someone paying that sort of attention to me.”

 

Justin didn’t know much about Brian’s childhood, but he’d met Joan, so he could only imagine.

 

“I remember he ran his hands through my hair and my dick was so fucking hard from just being there with him...and then he kissed me. I was on top of the fucking world. I’d never kissed anyone before, not like that anyway and I remember thinking I was the shit. We made out for a bit and i came in my fucking pants like the inexperienced teenager that I was and he was so fucking great about it,” he laughed bitterly. “But it was all a fucking act.”

 

Justin’s throat felt like it was on fire from holding back the tears of what he knew was yet to come.

 

“Then that week, it might have been the next gym class, I can’t remember - he tells me he needs to see me in his office after school. I can remember my friends Scott and Alex teasing me about being in trouble. But I was on cloud nine thinking I’d be going back there for more of what went on in the locker room the other day. I’d been jerking off to that make-out session ever since, it was different than fantasizing about...sex, being fucked. That was all in my head, things that, I don’t know, I knew I eventually wanted. But I knew what making out with him felt like and loved it… and I thought that’s all he wanted too. But I was so fucking wrong.”

 

Brian’s body began to shake as he continued to talk. 

 

“As soon as I walked into his office he locked the door - and he looked different, it scared me and I didn’t know why. But I felt really uncomfortable and one part of me really wanted to go home, whereas the other part of me thought that maybe I was just nervous. That I wanted _this_ just as much as he did. Although I didn’t quite know what _this_ was.”

 

Brian fell silent again, the only sound coming from him were his hitched breaths. Justin bit his lip to keep himself from crying, then forced himself to ask, “What was ‘this’ Brian?”

 

“I was in 8th grade for fuck sake, what did I know?”

 

He wasn’t even in High School yet, Justin felt sick to his stomach.

 

“He didn’t even kiss me,” Brian gasped out, “He told me to take off my pants and go and stand behind his desk. I did what he told me to do because I was too fucking scared to do otherwise, “ he gulped loudly. “He came and stood behind me, grabbed ahold of my neck and forced me down. I remember hearing all this shit going on behind me but every time I tried to look at what he was doing, he’d push my head back down.

 

“It felt _so_ cold,” Brian choked out, “and I didn’t know what it was or what was happening. I...I managed to ask him when I felt his...his cock going between my cheeks. I panicked and jerked, but he held me down like I was fucking weightless and just said, “Just sending you off for the summer as a man.” 

 

Justin couldn’t help the sob that escaped him.

 

“When he...when he fucked me,” Brian whimpered, “He didn’t prep me or anything. He just rammed it in and put a hand over my mouth when I started screaming. He told me to shut up or he’d make me shut up. I heard that so much from my dad and I knew what it fucking meant and I tried to just take it and wait until it was over. I wanted to vomit when I felt him sweat on me, grunt in my ear,” Brian let out a humorless laugh, “He told me he was making me a man, but what he called me said otherwise. Bitch. Boypussy. Twink. Whore. Fag. Slut...Chicken, whenever he caught me crying.”

 

Justin felt bile rise up into his throat and his body began to shake with rage.

 

“After,” Brian cleared his throat, “He came in me. He hadn’t used a condom, but at least I knew it was over. But he...he...”

 

Brian struggled to get out the words as he muffled a sob, “He took this cone, they were small but we used them to direct where to kick and pass the ball. He... he pulled out, pushed down on my back, took one off his desk, and started to shove one up in me. After he was done, he slapped my ass and told me to have fun in high school. I’ve never felt pain like that before, or after, for that matter. It felt like he’d ripped me in two. Turns out, he sort of did. By the time I managed to leave his office and walk home, the bottom of my pants were soaked with blood. There were still a few days left in school, but I pretended to be sick and kept a towel on my bed so that I wouldn’t bleed through. My dad would kill me if I would have fucked up the mattress. I hated being at home but I couldn’t take a chance seeing him again, I fucking couldn’t. And I didn’t stop bleeding for a couple of days so I thought I was going to die. I was afraid to even take a shit and didn’t t-tell anyone. I couldn’t, I couldn’t-

 

Brian breaks off, sobbing softly into the back of Justin’s neck. 

 

“I w-wanted it though, that’s what’s so f-fucking messed up about the whole situation.”

 

Brian released his death grip on Justin, allowing him to turn in his arms. “Brian, listen to me. You didn’t want _that,_ okay? What he did… what he did, Brian, was wrong on so many fucking levels. You were _raped_. Don’t for one minute think that this is your fault.”

 

But Justin’s words didn’t seem to stick. All of a sudden, Brian was flinging himself out of the bed in a panic, before bending down to grip onto his knees, wheezing and trying to catch his breath. 

 

“I can’t… I can’t breathe,” he panicked as he tried to make his way to the bathroom.

 

Justin shot out of bed and directed Brian to the bathroom, sitting him on the closed seat of the toilet and gently guiding his head between his knees.

 

“I need you to take deep breaths for me, okay?” And with that, Justin rushed out into their bedroom and took an ice cube tray out from the mini bar and rushed it back into the bathroom. “Here, hold one of these,” he instructed gently, placing an ice cube in Brian’s hand. It worked almost instantly and Brian’s breaths evened out and he began to calm down. Brian’s eyes were worryingly vacant, which concerned Justin, even more so when the tears started to brim and spill over, despite Brian’s expression not changing one bit.

 

“Brian, you’re in the hotel room with me. We’re in Shepardstown,” he told him softly, holding onto his cheeks as he wiped the tears with the pads of his thumbs, “You’re not there anymore. He can’t hurt you ever again, okay? He’s not in your life anymore.”

 

It took a moment, but Brian’s eyes eventually shifted towards him and they made eye contact.

 

“You can’t promise that,” Brian answered in a dull voice, “You can’t promise that when I saw him last week.”

 

And, fuck, Justin wanted to push the matter. He really did. But, with Brian’s expression showing signs of cracking, he knew that wasn’t what he needed right now. So wordlessly, he helped Brian stand back up and ushered him back to bed, becoming big spoon without any complaint from the older man. Justin rubbed his back and his belly, doing the things he remembered his own mother doing when he was upset or nervous, and hoped like hell that it would be enough to let Brian drift off into a dreamless sleep. 

 

“So...now you know why I have trouble with bottoming,” Brian grunted out, “It...when I am turned on and by myself, it’s all I ever think about. I know what I am, what I like, even if I don’t act on it. It’s so fucked up, but it’s true. But I can’t do it. Not with someone else. I’ll never have that. I still can’t believe I was so okay with you fingering me.”

 

Justin let out a shaky breath and kissed Brian’s bicep, “We can...We can work our way up to it, Brian. Slowly. I would _never_ do anything that you were uncomfortable with. I would _never_ hurt you. You know that, right?”

 

Brian nodded and nuzzled his face into Justin’s arms.

 

“But I want you to be able to embrace who you are, what you want and like to do.”

 

“And if I can’t?” Brian’s voice wobbled.

 

“Then I am still going to be with you,” Justin choked out, gripping onto Brian tight, “I’m still going to love you. No matter what.”

 

Brian’s body started to shake, harder than Justin had felt him since he started telling the story, before he let out a deep, heartbreaking sob. All Justin could do was hold onto him tight and let him cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a VERY tough chapter to write, so please be kind in your reviews. I promise you that although this storyline was VERY dark and tough to write, Road to Recovery in itself is not a dark story. It's just part of Brian's history that needs to be told and explains a lot about who he his and why he does certain things.

**Author's Note:**

> It may not look like it yet, but I can promise you this is very much a Brian and Justin story.
> 
> Once again, huge thank you to Annie_Eliza for being the bestest beta in the whole entire world #fact!
> 
> Please review and let me know what you think x


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